


Peanut Butter

by Islandida



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-01-03 08:44:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 100,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Islandida/pseuds/Islandida
Summary: There is a new tenant at Sandor's building and he is not happy about it. She is far too happy and pretty and she brings strangers cookies. Who does that?





	1. New Neighbour

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little thing that has been floating around in my brain, keeping me from writing on my other story so I thought it would be best to put it down in writing.
> 
> Thought it would be fun to share this with you guys - I have no idea if this will lead to anything more or if this is it ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think - I always welcome all feedback!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This header is the amazing work made by Paperdollgirl

Sandor sat in his car, having just parker in his spot outside of his apartment building. He had just gotten home from a long night babysitting a whole bunch of drunk assholes and all he wanted was to go inside and shower and sleep until it was time to do it all again. He wanted to do it without fucking meeting any more people. He fucking hated people. The bouncer gig was easy but people were fucking annoying and drunk people were a fucking nusance.

But right outside of his building stood a moving van and though he couldn’t see the person it belonged to he could tell that someone was carrying boxes inside. He had known that the apartment beneath his had stood empty for a while and he had hoped that it would remain so a little longer. No such luck.

The building only housed six three bedroom apartments, his being on the top floor. He knew of the other tenants, only knew two of them by more than name, and he fucking liked it that way. He didn’t like people and avoided contact with them whenever possible. He knew that if he was to go in now he’d probably run into the new tenant and with his shit luck they’d probably be a fucking talker.

So he was just going to sit here until they got done or they took a break. He watched the slight movement behind the van and then he saw how the person was suddenly wavering beneath a stack of boxes and he cursed to himself.

“Fucking idiot.” He wasn’t sure he was referring to them or himself as he jumped out of his truck and hurried over to the van. He grabbed the boxes just as the person carrying them was about to drop them.

“Oh,” he heard a female voice gasp and as he held the boxes away from that person he almost toppled over. Not because of the weight of the boxes, they hardly weighed a thing to him, but because staring up at him was the bluest pair of eyes he had ever seen.

As her eyes took in his face, lingering on his scarred side, she gasped but quickly collected herself. He wanted to snarl and growl at the way she had been looking at him but he couldn’t fucking blame her. He knew how he looked and she was the polar opposite of him. She was pretty, fuck, she was fucking beautiful. Her skin was fair and flawless. And her hair, it was the most wondrous of red. When the early morning sun rays shined hit it, it became a prism of red, gold and brown and he couldn’t look away.

“Thank you for that. For a second I was sure I was going to toppled over,” she said and if he had thought her face and hair beautiful it was nothing compared to her voice. It was soft and musical and it fucking made his chest hurt. Why the fuck did his chest hurt?

She was still looking at him he realised and suddenly she wasn’t just looking at him, she was smiling. And it wasn’t a small twitch of the lips smile, it was a wide full on smile. At him.

_ What the fuck? _

“Do you live here?” she asked in that soft gentle voice and he made himself nod. When had anyone every spoken to him so gently? Probably never.

He figured she expected him to say something more but he didn’t seem to be able to find any words at all. He simply nodded towards the door and her smile widened as she grabbed one box and lead the way. He had half expected her to take the elevator and he dreaded the awkward silence that would have entailed but to his surprise she bounded up the stairs.

Just as he had known she would she moved towards the empty apartment. The door was open and she lead him inside and sat her box down at the kitchen counter while motioning him to put his load down by the door. It was an exact replica of his own, with you stepping right into the living room. The living room and kitchen were only separated by a small breakfast bar. Further down the hall there was a bathroom and two bedrooms, one slightly smaller than the other.

She didn’t have a single piece of furniture and he suspected they were all in the moving van downstairs. He showed his hands into his pockets and looked over his shoulder at the door. His mind frantically looked for a reason to leave, he figured he didn’t really need a reason. He had helped her and now he could go upstairs to his own place. But his fucking feet was rooted to the spot and he could feel her eyes on him.

“You got anyone to help you?” he heard himself rasp out and it made him frown. Why the hell had he said that? It almost sounded as if he was offering to help her. He didn’t want to fucking do that. But when he looked at her he saw that she had that fucking smile on her face again and he knew that he’d help her if she asked him. Fuck, if she kept smiling at him like that, like he wasn’t a scarred ugly fucker, he’d do anything she asked of him.

“Yeah, I’ve got movers coming in about thirty minutes. Thank you for your help with those,” she said as she nodded to the boxes by his feet.

“Don’t mention it,” he said and with a firm nod he turned and swiftly walked out into the hallway. He practically ran up the stairs and slammed his door behind him.

How was he going to be able to live his quiet life in peace when he had the most fucking beautiful woman he had ever known living right beneath him?

It felt like he had barely closed his eyes when there was a knock on his door. He squinted his eyes to check the time on his alarm clock and he had only been home for about three hours. Who the fuck was knocking at his door at noon? No one ever came to his apartment, heck, barely a handful even knew his address.

He decided to ignore it but then he heard it again and cursed as he got up and put on a pair of sweatpants.

“What?” he growled as he flung open the door. On the other side of the door stood that beautiful redhead and she was smiling again. She seemed to always be fucking smiling, he thought. Despite only meeting her a couple of hours ago she had done nothing but smile at him. And if she could smile at someone who looked like him she was probably always smiling. It wasn’t as if she could think him special enough to warrant her smiles.

“So this is where you live!” she exclaimed happily and he couldn’t keep the frown off his face. Why would she be happy to see him? His frown didn’t seem to deter her though, she kept smiling as she held out a small plastic container. “I’ve been going around introducing myself to the neighbours.”

_ Of fucking course she did. _

She seemed just the kind of person to do something so sweet and innocent. He would have thought that this shit world would have ruined people like her by now. Yet here she stood, like everyone went around to greet their neighbours. Didn’t she realise that one of them could be a fucking creep or dangerous? And she was exposing herself to the risk of getting hurt with that fucking smile. How couldn’t she see that? Fuck this girl got him worried for her and he didn’t even know her.

She took a step closer, still holding out the container to him and he stared down at it.

“I made cookies and I thought I should give you some as a thank you for earlier,” she said and he stared at her with wide eyes. 

“You don’t fucking owe me anything,” he said and he hated how rough and tired his voice sounded. Hers was so upbeat and light and it didn’t go with his at all. Why the fuck did he care if their voices could go together?

“Fine. But I still want you to have them,” she said and there was something firm in her eyes then. Without her saying anything he knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Maybe she wasn’t as soft as he had initially thought. So he grudgingly took the container and she raised an auburn eyebrow at him expectantly.

There was a twitch at his lip and he quickly stopped it from becoming a smile. Instead he opened the lid and took out a cookie. It was still warm and smelled fucking amazing. He eagerly put the whole thing in his mouth and his eagerness made her smile again.

“I’m Sansa by the way,” she said softly and he had to clear his throat as he tried to respond. But there was a sudden itch in his throat that made him clear it again.

“Is… Is there peanuts in these?” he asked and her smile widened. Why did his heart jump when she smiled at him like that? His heart was a fucking black piece of coal and coal did not jump at the smile from a beautiful girl.

“You could tell? I use peanut butter, the chunky kind, it makes them so much tastier,” she answered happily and he felt his throat swell. 

“I’m allergic.” He wheesed out as it became harder to breath and the container fell from his hands.

“Oh my God!” she exclaimed with horror on her face. “What can I do?”

“I… I… my EpiPen,” he wheased and even though it would do nothing about the swelling he couldn’t keep from grasping at his throat.

“Where? Where is it?!” she asked but he ignored her and turned around to head to the bathroom.

He reached it just as his vision started to turn black at the edges and threw open his bathroom cabinet, making it’s content fall down into the sink and on the floor. He tried to cuss out but no sound left his lips and he sunk down onto his knees. Fuck he needed to calm down and find that fucking pen. His throat was quickly getting worse and he was having trouble focusing his eyes.

There was a flash of red as someone kneeled next to him and he wanted to growl at her to leave it alone but he wasn’t able to say anything.

“Here!” she exclaimed and held up the EpiPen in one hand. “What do I do? I’ve never done this before…. I….”

With a growl he snatched it out of her hand and as soon as he got the lid off he jammed the pen into his thigh. She jumped at the force he used but to his surprise she stayed by his side, her face frantically looking at his. He could feel the medicine stopping the reaction but she was shaking and he didn’t know why but he didn’t want her scared.

He had been the one to almost fucking die yet he was the one to reach out his hand to clasp hers. Her eyes darted down to the contact and when she squeezed his hand he only had one thought in his head before the world turned black.

_ I’m so fucked. _


	2. Hospitalised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa deals with a grumpy Sandor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to start with how excited I am that you guys liked this little thing that was burning away in my head. It has grown a bit and it's a little lighter then my other work.
> 
> This chapter is from Sansa's perspective. I hope you enjoy!

Sansa was pacing the waiting room of the hospital frantically. She had barely been living in this city for more than a few hours before she had managed to put her new neighbour in the hospital. She hadn’t even known his name but that hadn’t stopped her from almost killing him!

Her gruff, rough, silent large fine specimen of a man, neighbour who had been kind to her. She hadn’t been sure if he had intended to be but helping someone, even for only a few minutes, without having them ask you to, that was kind in Sansa’s book. And she had been so happy thinking that maybe she would have a friendly face in this brand new town after all.

Her neighbour might not have what people would describe a friendly face, sure half his face was scarred and it looked like it had been painful, but it was more the permanent frown that made him look intimidating. As well as his sizes. But Sansa had looked into his eyes, those deep grey eyes, and when he had looked back at her she had seen kindness there.

During her twenty-five years on this earth many people had called Sansa naive and gullible, those words had hurt, but she didn’t let it affect her positive outlook on life. She was well aware that life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows but that didn’t mean that she should go around expecting everything and everyone to be shit. She refused to live like that.

She had tried to be friendly and hoped that by bringing him cookies it would at least create some kind of comradery between them, even if it never went beyond just greeting each other in the hallway or a small exchange of words in the elevator.

She blushed at how she had watched him through the corner of her eye, unable to take in just how large he was. His arms, that were half exposed from him rolling up his shirt sleeves, were big and muscular, he carried those heavy boxes as if they weighed nothing. And his shoulders and chest were almost as wide as her door frame, making her feel petite in comparison. And she knew she had always been tall for a girl and she liked wearing heels so finding someone taller than her could be a challenge. Not this man though, no she had had to crane her neck to look at him the first moment they met and she had liked that.

She found herself liking his full yet neatly trimmed beard, the thickness of it making her fingers itch to see if it would be soft or prickly. She had never kissed a man with a full beard and she had blushed furiously as that thought had entered her mind but thankfully he didn’t seem to notice.

And maybe, for a millisecond, as she checked out his butt when he turned to leave she had thought that maybe there could be something there. He had done nothing to show interest though, had barely spoken more than a single sentence to her, but she was pretty sure she hadn’t mistaken the way his eyes had softened as she smiled at him.

Not that he would want anything to do with her now. Sure, it hadn’t been intentional. How was she supposed to know that he was allergic to peanuts? She hadn’t even know his name, which she hadn’t realised until the paramedics had asked her for it.

She had been so scared, yet he had held her hand and then he had passed out and she didn't know what else to do but call an ambulance.

She blushed at how she had gotten into his bedroom to search for his wallet and had found it in the backpocket of those black jeans she had seen him in earlier. She had given it to the paramedics without a word and she didn’t want to imagine what they thought she was doing at his place if she didn’t know the unconscious man.

Because she knew nothing about him except that his name was Sandor Clegane and that he was allergic to peanuts, but when the paramedics had asked her if she wanted to go with him to the hospital she hadn’t hesitated. Like a stupid idiot she had sat in the back holding his large calloused hand in hers, stroking her thumb over his rough knuckles, hoping that it gave him a sense of comfort, despite him probably not even knowing she was there.

But once they had gotten to the hospital and the staff realised she wasn’t family they had left her in the waiting room and it had been about an hour and she was still waiting. She had at least thought they would have told her something about his condition.

“Excuse me,” a nurse said, bringing Sansa out of her pacing. “You came in with Mr Clegane earlier right?”

Sansa nodded and felt her chest clench in worry when she saw the strained look on the nurses face. Why was she looking at her like that? Like she was worried about Sansa?

“Would you mind coming with me? The doctor would like to see you,” the nurse said softly and Sansa felt frozen in place. The doctor? Oh my god, had she…? Was he…? Did she kill him?

The nurse must have seen the tears in her eyes because she put a soft hand on Sansa’s arm.

“He is alright. But he refuses further treatment and we can’t keep him against his will. The doctor was hoping you could talk to him?” she said and that made Sansa both relieved and concerned. She hadn’t killed him! But why did they think he would want to talk to her?

She didn’t ask that though, she simply followed the nurse to a patient's ward and as they walked down the hall she could hear shouting. She had never heard Sandor speak more than barely above a whisper so to hear his raspy voice ring out over the ward made her jump.

“What is it that’s so fucking hard to understand?! Are you cunts so fucking up your own asses that you can’t fucking hear me?!” he shouted and the fierceness and anger in his voice made her stomach chern. “I am getting out of here right now!”

She stopped in the doorway and saw the large bulk that was Sandor sitting up in a hospital bed, wearing only a gown and an iv was dripping into his arm. His eyes were blown wide in anger and his face was pulled in a snarl. His black hair looked wild and frazzled and she supposed he looked quite intimidating. The poor doctor, who looked as if he had just graduated from medical school, stood at the edge of the bed clutching a chart to his chest. The poor man looked white as a sheet and the other man’s behaviour made Sansa scowl.

“Now you listen here! This is no way to behave.” Without thinking she had stepped into the room and had adopted the stern voice that she used on her rowdy younger brothers. The large man froze and with wide eyes he stared at her as she took another step closer.

“This nice doctor is just trying to help you. You need to listen to him,” she continued to scold him and to her relief he leaned back into his bed and remained silent. The doctor looked at her with relief.

“Like I was saying Mr Clegane. We gave you steroids and fluids and we’d like to keep you overnight for observation,” the doctor said but he wasn’t looking at Sandor. No, his eyes were on Sansa and she couldn’t blame him. Sandor were practically throwing daggers at him and Sansa saw his mouth open to protest. With one stern look from Sansa he quickly closed his mouth again and grumbled something under his breath before crossing his arms.

When there was no further protest the doctor took his leave and the firm confidence Sansa had felt just a minute ago evaporated when she was suddenly alone with the large man.

She had to say something, it was his fault that he was here after all.

“I am so so sorry. I had no idea and…” she started but he cut her off with a dark glare. There was no kindness in his eyes this time.

“Don’t. Just don’t.” his voice was a bit rough but to her relief he didn’t seem to be that much worse for wear. “Why the fuck are you here?”

His words made her flinch and her reaction seemed to snap him out of his angry state. Instead that frown appeared again and he looked down at his lap.

“I… I came without you in the ambulance,” she answered after a moment of hesitation. “I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

“You shouldn’t have called a fucking ambulance,” he growled out and she stiffened her shoulders at the harshness of his tone. She understood if he was a little shaken up by the whole experience, she knew she was, but it had been an accident. He was acting as if she had intentionally tried to kill him.

“You were passed out and I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’d be fine if you’d just left me alone for a while,” he said between clenched teeth and she crossed her arms over her chest. That made him look up at her and she couldn’t help but glare at him.

“How was I supposed to know that?” she challenged. He was beginning to annoy her now and she knew her voice had become a little more biting as she spoke. “I was scared and worried for you, Sandor.”

His eyes widened as she spoke his name and she felt her cheeks flush. He had never told her him his name yet here she was using it as if they were… what? Friends? The way he was scolding her and glaring at her she doubted that he wanted to be her friend. And she wasn’t sure why, but that thought made her stomach churn.

“Well I’m fine. As long as you don’t try to kill me again,” he said and she gasped at his words. Did he really think that she had tried to kill him? 

“It was an accident!” she exclaimed angrily but he only scoffed. But then she saw a slight twitch on the scarred side of his mouth and when her eyes met his grey the kindness was there again.

He was teasing her! Where did this change come from all of a sudden? Sansa couldn’t keep the smile from her lips then and saw how the tension left his shoulders.

“Any other food allergies I should now? Just so that I don’t accidentally almost kill you again?” she asked and he chuckled with a shake of his head.

“As if I’m going to tell you anymore ways to kill me,” he answered and the cheekiness of this man was so surprising that she laughed. How could he turn from that angry man he had been just a moment ago to this teasing kind man in a matter of seconds? If she had been intrigued by him before she was even more so now.

“Just peanuts,” he said after a moment of silence and she swore right then and there that as soon as she got home she’d throw out that jar of peanut butter. Just in case.

“So we both got here with the ambulance?” he asked and she nodded. He dragged a hand through his long black hair and that made her eyes go to his large bicep that was straining against the fabric of the hospital gown.

“Yeah, I couldn’t just let you go alone,” she said and she wasn’t sure why but her response made him shake his head. “I am really sorry.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” he persisted and she knew he meant it. But it didn’t stop the guilt.

“So, you think that you’ll be allowed to leave tomorrow?” she asked and he turned to look at her fully. His eyes searched her face and she wondered what he was looking for.

“Depends. You gonna let me?” he teased and she couldn’t help but giggle.

“Only if you’re nice to the hospital staff and the doctor gives you the all clear,” she said sternly to make him understand that she meant it. He nodded and then turned his attention to the tv on the wall. “I should let you get some rest. Again, I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t. Just don’t,” he said softly and she nodded. She took the hint that he wanted to be alone as he turned the tv on and she silently left the room.

The next morning she had called the hospital to check when he was expected to be released and she was standing outside the hospital entrance just as he came out. He froze as he saw her and she smiled at him. He was scowling again but at least he was walking towards her now and not running away.

“What are you doing here?” he asked roughly but she had a feeling he always sounded rough even if he didn’t intend to.

“I’m here to pick you up,” she answered with another smile and his eyes narrowed at her. Without another word she pulled out her car keys and walked over to where she had parked her red little hatchback. She could hear his heavy footsteps as he followed her and then a displeased humph as he took in her car.

“Aint no fucking way I’m gonna fit in that tiny ass car,” he growled and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning at how pouty he sounded. “I mean look at me.”

Sansa looked at him over her shoulder then and he was glaring at her. But there was no real heat in that stare. At least not the angry kind.

“Oh trust me I’ve looked,” she answered and she didn’t realise what she had said until she saw his mouth drop open in surprise. Where had that come from? She had sounded so flirty that her face was burning from embarrassment. To hide the embarrassment she felt she busied herself with opening the car door and pushing the passenger seat as far back as it could go. He still had to sit with his knees to his chest and she really really tried not to laugh.

“So what did the doctor say?” she asked as she pulled out from the hospital parking lot.

“I got some allergy pills I got to take for a few days and the doc says I need to rest. But other then that I’m in the clear,” he said and she scanned his face for signs of deceit. For some reason she was pretty sure he was the kind of man who hated hospitals and would want to leave despite what the doctors said. But she guessed she had to trust him, he was an adult and he had a right to make his own decisions.

They rest of the drive was in complete silence but to Sansa it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. He was a silent calming presence next to her. He had an arm resting on the consol between them and every time she shifted gear their arms brushed against each others. He didn’t say anything but she could feel him stiffen when they touched and somehow the insecurity of this large massive man endeared him to her instantly.

He remained silent as they walked inside and he walked her to her door and she hesitated.

“Could you wait here a moment?” she asked and when he nodded she hurried inside. She opened the fridge and put all the containers into an empty moving box and carried it out to him.

He stared at it as she held it out to him before he took it with a confused frown.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked so I made Spaghetti Bolognese and a tuna casserole. It will keep for a while but you probably need to put some of it in the freezer,” she told him and his eyes widened as he stared down at the box in his arms. “I thought you shouldn’t have to cook when you need to rest.”

She was suddenly blushing as he lifted his eyes to her. There was a wonder and amazement in his eyes as if he couldn’t believe that she was real. It made her blush even harder. All she had done was make him some food, it was the least she could do after she had put him in the hospital.

“You shouldn’t have. I can’t take this,” he started to protest but she held up a hand.

“Well I did and you will. It’s the least I could do,” she said and the sternes in her voice was back. Telling him that there was no point in arguing. To her relief he nodded and now that that was done, she wasn’t sure what else she should say or do. He seemed to feel the same way because he started shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“I should let you get home and rest,” she said and when he nodded she turned towards her door again.

“Thanks for the food. And the cookies,” he suddenly said when she was halfway through the door and with a gasp she whirled around to face him. There was that soft kindness in his eyes again and she saw his lip twitch and she tried to fight the smile but it was no use.

“You’re welcome. Next time I’ll make sure to make something that won’t result in a trip to the ER,” she teased back and there was this shift in his eyes. As if he was trying to figure out what the hell she meant but she wasn’t even that sure herself.

She kept her eyes on him as he seemed to think for a long time but to her disappointment he didn’t say anything else, he only nodded once and then he was gone.

She released the breath that she had been holding and stepped inside her new apartment. This was her fresh start, away from all the old hurts, and despite it starting out at the hospital she felt it had been a good start.

The next afternoon she was walking through the entrance with her take out dinner in a bag as Sandor came walking down the stairs. She frowned when she saw that he was wearing a similar black shirt and black jeans as he had on that first morning.

“The doctor said you were supposed to be resting,” she said without thinking and he stopped in his tracks and looked at her wideyed. As if he was surprised that she had spoken to him at all.

“Yeah well some of us gotta make a living somehow,” he said and there was that teasing tilt in his voice. He still sounded raspy but she thought that his voice had sounded raspy and gravely before the allergic reaction. She remembered how she had thought it deep and manly even after only hearing him speak a few words.

“Hey, I work too! I’m starting my new job tomorrow,” she defended herself and he nodded solemnly. “But you should still be in bed and have you taken your medication…?”

“Quit with the chirping little bird,” he interrupted and the comment should have ticked her off but there was that softness in his eyes again as he looked at her and a part of her wondered if he was teasing her. That now familiar twitch of his lip told her everything she needed to know and it made her smile again. She seemed to not be able to keep herself from smiling when she was around him. It felt good to have someone that made her smile.

“Well excuse me for caring,” she mock scolded but he only raised his one eyebrow at that.

“Chirp chirp,” he responded and she didn’t know what possessed her to do it, but before she was thinking her hand flew out and swatted at his chest. It was rock hard and muscular, she could tell after only those few seconds of contact.

He looked down at where she had hit him with eyes wide in surprise and she felt her cheeks heat and she was pretty sure she was flaming red now. But as he raised his head there was a smile on his lips. A genuine, albeit small smile and it was directed at her.

“This little bird has some talons,” he teased and she couldn’t keep in a laugh then as she moved to pass him.

“Don’t you forget it. Have a nice night Sandor.” She was about to tell him to take it easy again but bit her tongue before she could. He was a grown man, older than her obviously, and it wasn’t her place to scold him.

“You too… Sansa,” he said and her head whipped around to look at him. But the door was already closing behind him. It was the first time he had said her name and a warmth spread through her as she walked up the stairs. She had no idea what this new start was going to bring but in that moment she couldn’t feel anything but happy.

_ I made a friend. _


	3. Extra food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandor finds a reason to see his new neighbour again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I'd like to start with saying how happy I am that you guys seem to like this little story!
> 
> Thank you to every single one who's read, commented or left kudos.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this last addition.

_ What the fuck am I doing? _

Wednesday was his night off. A night he usually spent alone in his apartment watching a movie or a game. He liked the quiet, needed the quiet, after spending all his other nights in the loud club. It was his way to unwind, he’d have a beer or scotch, just enough to relax him and then he would go to bed early. 

His coworker, Bronn, would always say that he acted like he was an old man but Sandor didn’t mind that. He felt fucking old and he could act like it if he wanted too.

So then why was it that this Wednesday evening he was standing outside of Sansa’s apartment and trying to make himself knock on her door?

She had acted like she cared and for some reason he actually believed that she did. Why else would she have gone with him to the hospital and then stayed to see what happened? There was no need for her to do that, but she still had. And then she had picked him up the next day.

To say that he had been shocked to see her had been an understatment but fuck it felt nice to have someone care about him like that. He hadn’t had anyone do stuff for him just because they cared since he was a child. And those things he barely remembered.

Maybe she was just a caring person and it had nothing to do with him. That would make sense since she did even know him. Yet his heart, if he had one, hoped that maybe it had a little to do with him. That maybe she wanted to care about him, Sandor, not just her neighbour.

Fuck, he was acting so dumb. Just because she had been a decent human being towards him he had gotten all these stupid ideas in his head. But people never smiled at him the way that she did and he just wanted to see that smile again.

_ She’s probably not even home. _

That thought gave him courage enough to actually knock but then to his horror, and maybe delight, he heard her call out and seconds later the door swung open. Fuck she was still as beautiful as he remembered. Her vibrant red hair was tied on top of her head in a messy bun and she was wearing a white t-shirt that barely covered her midriff, exposing a thin line of pale skin and she was wearing some sort of pyjama shorts. They were pink and frilly and holy fucking hell, he had been staring.

He quickly lifted his eyes to her face and she was smiling at him. And not a polite smile, no a big smile that somehow made him think that maybe she was happy to see him.

When had anyone fucking smiled at him like that?

“Hey Sandor,” she said and he had to fight the urge to groan at the way she said his name. He had never thought much of his name, it was alright he guessed, but when Sansa said it she somehow made it sound like the best thing he had ever heard.

He knew he was staring, probably too long, because her smile suddenly seemed less vibrant and a crease appeared between her brows.

“Eh… I… I got some takeout and they accidentally gave me some extra food that I hadn’t ordered. Just noticed it when I got home so I thought maybe...” He cleared his throat nervously and willed himself not to sound too rough. “Maybe you’d like it. It’s a noodle beef salad or something.”

“Oh,” she said surprised but to his relief, her smile became that large happy one again. “You sure you don’t want it?”

“It has peanuts in it,” he answered and her eyes widened.

“Then I’ll definitely take it off your hands,” she answered and he practically thrusted the container into her hands. “Do you risk having an allergic reaction if someone eats peanuts around you?”

“Nah. Not that sensitive. Just can’t eat ‘em,” he answered and she nodded thoughtfully. “Well, I’ll let you go back to your evening.”

To his great surprise her face fell then and his mind race to try and figure out what he possibly could have said or done wrong. He didn’t know why it fucking mattered that she wasn’t smiling at him anymore but it fucking did. He wanted her to smile at him.

“Okay… I thought you meant we’d… Nevermind,” she said with a flash of red to her cheeks and he couldn’t help but frown.

“We’d what?” His voice was brisk and way to rough but she didn’t flinch away like most people did. Instead she lowered her eyes to the floor and he hated that. Hated that he instantly missed her eyes. He hated people staring and he hated people avoiding to look at him. But he liked it when she looked at him, because she looked at him like he was just anybody else. Like he didn’t have half of his face burned off.

“Speak your mind woman,” he growled out and that made her head snap up again. He liked that his roughness didn’t make her cower. Instead she glared at him and he had to fight a smile at that.

“I thought that we’d eat together. But I get it, you don’t have too,” she said and it felt as if the floor disappeared beneath his feet. She had thought he had asked her to have dinner with him? She wanted to have dinner with him?

“I… I left the rest upstairs but I could go get it…” he heard himself saying and there was  _ that  _ smile again. He felt a pull at his lip and when he gave her a hesitant smile in return she practically beamed.

“Great. I have this bottle of wine we could open,” she suggested and he wondered if she could hear how hard his heart was beating. Dinner and wine?

“I’ll be right back then,” he said and she only nodded happily. Before she had even turned around he was practically running up the stairs, two steps at a time, and he could hear her bubbly laughter follow him up the stairs. Normally he’d hate it when someone laughed at him but not her. No, her laugh made him fucking smile and he only grabbed the bag of take out before bounding back down. He knew it was irrational, that she wasn’t like that, but a part of him worried that if he gave her too long to think about it she would change her mind.

But as he came down stairs he saw that her door had remained open and the sound of soft music was flowing through the open door. He stopped in the doorway to catch his breath only to have it sucked out of him again. Sansa stood by the kitchen counter, her back to him, and her hips were swaying slightly to the rhythm of the song and he couldn’t look away.

The sound of her pulling the cork out of a bottle brought him back and he hurriedly lifted his eyes up from where they had been fixated on her ass and he knocked on the doorframe to tell her he was there. He might act like a creep and stare at her but he would never enter her place without an explicit invitation.

“Hey. Come on in. The wine needs to rest for a few minutes but that just gives us a moment to set the table,” she said and she was smiling at him. He hesitantly took a step in and her eyes darted down to his feet and back up again. “Shoes off.”

He grumbled at her but untied his boots and placed them on the shoe rack by the door. It was already filled with all kinds of shoes, more than he’d probably own in a lifetime and his shoes looked huge next to hers. Completely out of place.

“The place looks nice,” he said and he meant it. She had a large light grey L-shaped couch against one wall and the one across it, where he had put his flat screen, was still an empty wall. But there was a huge stack of boxes against it and they were all labeled “books”.

“I had planned to get this bookshelf from Ikea, but it’s so big that all the boxes won’t fit in my car. So I’m still figuring out what to get instead,” she said as she set the small dinner table that she had put in the kitchen. The table was white and all of the four chairs were mismatched and painted four different colours. He didn’t even own a dinner table so he didn’t know much about them but this was just so perfectly her, in his opinion.

“I could take you. Plenty of room in the bed of my truck,” he answered and her eyes became so wide he had to turn back around. Why had he said that? She didn’t want him to take her to fucking Ikea. It was a wonder in itself that she even wanted to eat with him. And that was only because he had given her the food. To distract himself from the sudden flutter of nerves in his stomach he took in the rest of the place.

She had a round coffee table that was painted white and one of those plush soft pink carpets underneath. And pillows, so many fucking pillows, on that couch. They were all different colors with different prints but somehow they worked together. She had even managed to put up curtains in the few days she had lived there. They were white and billowy with a soft floral print. It looked so much homier than his place ever had.

The biggest difference from her place and his was all the pictures. Every where he turned their were picture frames. Either on the wall or on a table. When he looked down the hall towards the bedrooms he saw that one whole wall was covered with picture frames. He was curious and thought of moving closer for a better look but just then Sansa came and put a hand to his arm. He practically jumped at that slight touch and she quickly pulled her hand back.

He fucking hated that he had caused her too pull back. His arm, despite being covered by his sweater, felt warm where her fingers had touched him and he had a sudden desire to feel her touch again. But he figured she wouldn’t, due to his harsh reaction, and he had no one but himself to blame.

“Let’s eat,” she said softly and with a nod he followed her lead. He sat down opposite her and took a swig of the wine she had poured in hopes of steadying his nerves.

“So, no tv?” he asked after a moment of silence and she shrugged.

“I prefer to watch movies and stuff in bed so I use my laptop,” she said and he pleaded with himself to  _ please please please _ not picture her in her bed. She’d probably have soft sheets, floral if the rest of her apartment was anything to go by. And now he was fucking picturing it.

_ You disgusting old dog. _

“This was just what I needed today,” she said and sighed happily as she took a large spoonful of food. He was surprised to see that for such a thin thing she ate eagerly and a lot. She moaned happily as she ate and for a second he wondered if he’d get an allergic reaction if he kissed her when she had eaten peanuts. He would be more than willing to take that chance, he realised, and that thought scared him.

Who was she and how could she affect him this much when he barely knew her?

“Rough day at work? You said you were gonna start this week?” he asked and she smiled softly. Was she pleased that he had remembered?

“Yeah. I just started monday and I moved here for this job. I really like it but it’s a little intimidating to be the new girl you know?” she said and he nodded even though he wasn’t sure what she meant. He just wanted her to know that he was listening.

“What is it that you do?” he asked and tried to control himself from shoving large heaps of food into his mouth at once. He could at least pretend that he had some manners for one evening.

“I am a junior editor at Targaryen Publishing. And my boss is great but she is demanding. I’ve been eating my lunch at my desk to keep up and it’s been a bit overwhelming,” she told him and he didn’t know what he was supposed to say. He ended up offering her some of his eggrolls and she took some with a happy smile.

“What do you do?” she asked and he had never been embarrassed over what he did before. But compared to her he just seemed so inadecoate and he hated that feeling. 

“I’m a bouncer at a club downtown. Easy work and good pay,” he said with a shrug but to his surprise she leaned a bit over the table towards him and he couldn’t make himself look away from her.

“You must have the patience of a saint to be able to deal with that much drunk people on a daily basis,” she said and he couldn’t keep in a cough of a laugh at that.

“Yeah, I’m a right saint I am.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm but she only smiled. “I’m just good at emptying my head enough to not let it get to me. Most nights at least.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Sandor. I wish I could empty my mind sometimes. It’s just a constant buzz,” she said with a glint in her eyes that couldn’t keep him from smiling. Fuck it if it made his scarred side pull. She seemed to like it when he smiled if the way her eyes lit up was any indication.

“Or an incessant chirping,” he countered and she gasped before throwing her head back and released a loud unhibriated laugh.

_ How can you be real? And be here with me, laughing and smiling at me like I matter? _

“Oh shut up,” she bit out without any real heat and he chuckled softly. That was also new, she didn’t put up with his bullshit. If he pushed she pushed back. He was so used to people pulling away if he growled and groumbled loud enough but the rougher he became with her the more she put him in his place.

He had no idea what time it was but by the time he even wondered how long he had stayed they had moved to her couch with their wine and a plate of cookies on the coffee table. She had sworn that there was no peanuts in them, that it was regular chocolate chip cookies but he couldn’t keep from teasing her.

He took a big bite of one of the cookies and he just couldn’t help himself. He looked at her with wide eyes and started wheezing. Her eyes turned into large saucers before he couldn’t keep up the act and broke out in loud laughter. She gasped when she realised what he had done and she jumped up from the couch.

“That isn’t funny Sandor!” she chided and he had to wipe the corners of his eyes when he saw how furious she was. “I was so scared! Don’t do that to me!”

He watched in horror as her eyes welled up with tears and instantly he was on his feet and pulling her into his arms. He didn’t know what gave him the courage to do so, it had to be wine, but she actually hugged him back. She had her arms around him and her face pressed against his chest and he felt so warm that he thought he might combust. She was so soft and fuck she smelled so good.

“I’m sorry, little bird,” he said to the top of her head and she scoffed against his chest. The warm breath of air against his chest made him pull her a little tighter against him.

“You’re an asshole,” she scolded and he chuckled softly.

“Yeah I really am,” he said and his stomach dropped when he felt her starting to shake.

_ Fuck, why did I have to go do that? _

But after a moment he realised that she wasn’t sobbing, she was shaking with laughter.

“God, you don’t even try to argue with me about it,” she managed to get out between laughs and pulled her head back to look up at him. She was so close that if he leaned down he could have pressed his lips against her. It would probably result in another visit to the hospital but it would be worth it.

He had known from the moment he saw her that he wanted her. He had never been this attracted to anyone in his life but now that he felt he knew her somewhat it wasn’t just a physical attraction anymore. He liked her. He liked how she spoke her mind and how she was kind. He liked that she smiled at him and that she always looked him in the face without hesitation.  _ I’ve never liked anyone like this. Never thought it was possible. _

Her blue eyes were twinkling with mirth and he didn’t even bother with fighting the smile that he gave her.

“What’s there to argue? I’m an old asshole and I know it. I’m no liar so why should I pretend to me something I’m not?” he said with a shrug and she shook her head.

“There you go selling yourself short again Sandor Clegane,” she said softly and now he was the one shaking his head. What did she know? She knew nothing about him. And if she ever truly got to know him she’d see he wasn’t worthy of her time. 

“Doubt it. But your just as stubborn as me so we’d better just agree to disagree,” he said and released his grip on her. Her hands that had been softly wrapped around his back suddenly grasped fistfuls of his sweater, keeping him in place against her and the look in her eyes told him that he’d better not move.

“Now that’s enough of that. You are kind. You helped me when you didn’t know me and just earlier tonight when I told you of the bookcase your instant reaction was to offer to help. That isn’t something an asshole would do. But it is something a kind man would,” she said and he frowned down at her.

How could she look at him like that when he was so close to her? She had a full view of his hideousness yet she stared him down as if she dared him to disagree. But he fucking knew that he’d probably never be able to argue with her when she looked at him like that.

“I ain't usually like that. Only around you apparently,” he heard himself say and he wanted to slap himself. Why did he have to go say something as stupid as that? Now she would think he was a creep.

“I can live with that,” she said and there was that smiled that he had so quickly become addicted too.

She released him then and took the glasses and empty bottle into the kitchen. He followed her like the damn dog he was but put the breakfast island between them. He was scared that if he had her that close again he wouldn’t be able to control himself. If he kissed her tonight he would never know if it was just the alcohol or something more between them.

“I should get going. You’ve got to be able to kick ass in the morning,” he joked and she giggled. How the fuck was he able to make a woman like Sansa giggle?  _ It’s the wine, must be the wine. _

“Thank you for dinner and a lovely evening,” she said as he headed towards the door.

“It was nothing,” he tried to argue as he bent down to put on his boots.

“Not to me,” she persisted and there was a small twitch at his lip at the stubborn tone in her voice.  _ Fuck I wish it was because of me. And just me. _

“About Ikea,” he said as he opened the door. “I meant it. I’ll take you if you want.”

“Oh, it’s okay. You don’t have to do that. It’s too much work to put those stuff together anyway,” she said softly and he shook his head.

“I want to,” he persisted and as soon as the words left his mouth he knew it was the truth. He just wanted to spend some more time with her. Even if it was only a short drive to furniture hell and then cursing over those small allen keys as he put the damn thing together. He’d take it. Hell, he’d take every single scrap she offered him. “I leave for work at eight so as long as it is before that I can go whenever.”

“Thank you so much Sandor!” she exclaimed happily. “Would it be alright if we do it on a saturday or sunday? I work weekdays.”

“That’s fine with me,” he responded and then he left her standing at the door without another word. He was scared that if he stayed any longer he’d say something or do something he’d regret.

Like tell her how she had fucking brightened up his grey excistence with just her presence. Yeah, shit like that.


	4. Nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa needs a night out with friends after an upsetting run in with a certain surly neighbour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys!
> 
> So I had planned to keep this fit just light and fluffy but eh, I liked this chapter and felt the drama was a bit fun.
> 
> Also:
> 
> I totally got Grey Worm's modern day name from another SanSan fic that is awesome! It's called "But all your flaws and scars are mine" by the amazing Mrsblackdixon89. I seriously recommend you guys giving it a read!

Sansa was so tired and she wanted to throw the damn shoes she was wearing in the closest garbage bin. Why had she decided to wear brand new stupid heels to the office?

Her co-workers had tried to convince her to come out for drinks tonight but she was more than happy now that she had told them she was too tired. At least it was Friday and she had a whole weekend of going barefoot to look forward too.

Except for tomorrow morning, she thought with a smile. She had run into Sandor in the hallway last night and he had made the same offer again. So they had decided that they were going to Ikea tomorrow at ten. Sansa was probably a bit overly excited over the fact, but she was really looking forward to getting the bookshelf she had wanted. And to spend time with Sandor.

She had never been as instantly comfortable as she had been with him. Despite his roughness and sometimes rude behaviour she found him easy to talk too. When she spoke it felt like he was really listening and she found that to be a rare quality these days.

And she was definitely attracted to him. When he had held her in his arms that Wednesday evening she had nearly swooned. He was all hard mass, strong and firm around her and holy hell she had liked that. She also liked the way he looked at her, as if he didn’t truly think she could be real. And he teased her!

She had always hated when her sister teased her, Arya was endless with her teasing, but with Sandor it somehow felt intriguing and fun this back and forth they were hopefully developing.

She had just rounded the corner to the apartment building, cursing herself for thinking that public transportation would be fine instead of taking her car, and what she saw stopped her in her tracks. Standing by the door to the apartment building was Sandor. He was wearing black loose shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt that clung to his chest like a second skin. His hair was tied back from his face and the few strands that had escaped were wet with sweat. His tanned skin was practically glistening from it, a trail of it lead down his chest making his shirt darker there and it continued down to his pants line.

Sansa’s found herself struggling to breathe and there was a tremor in her stomach. She couldn’t seem to stop staring and her cheeks grew hot when she realised that he was looking right at her.

“You couldn’t fucking wait up?!” a shouting voice behind Sansa made her jump as a man jogged past her. He stopped in front of Sandor, who with a smirk turned his attention to the other man. The other man was much shorter than Sandor, that of course didn’t mean that he was short. More average built, but with broad shoulders and lean hips. He wore a similar outfit as Sandor and they must have been out running, Sansa realised.

“If you can’t keep up then don’t bother coming along,” Sandor answered the other man who scoffed.

“Oh fuck off,” he said as he tried to catch his breath. Sansa decided that she couldn’t just stand there gawking because of a sweaty Sandor so she hurried forward and gave Sandor a soft smile as he held the door open for her.

“Thank you Sandor,” she said as both men followed her inside the building.

“Why hello there,” the brown haired man said with a flirty grin that did nothing to Sansa’s insides. The responding scowl Sandor threw at his friend though, that had her stomach fluttering.

“Hello Sandor’s friend,” she answered politely as she started walking up the stairs alongside them and her obvious disinterest in flirting back seemed to make Sandor’s lip twitch.

_ Why did a simple twitch of a lip look so appealing? _

“Don’t throw me in with that miserable asshole. Name’s Bronn,” he said as he ran a hand through his brown hair. She gave him a soft smile and then gave Sandor a brighter one before walking over to her door.

She knew it wasn’t polite do eavesdrop but as the men continued up the second flight of stairs she might have lingered outside her door, hoping to catch something.

“So who was that?” she heard Bronn ask and felt her heart skip a beat as she waited for Sandor’s response.

“She’s nobody. Just some girl who lives in the building,” he answered gruffly and those rough sounding words were like an ice bucket poured over her head. Here she had been picturing their connection and practically drooling over him a minute ago and he thought of her as only as some girl. A freaking girl!

Why did she do that to herself? Why did she get emotionally attached to someone so quickly? She didn’t even really know him so why had she thought there might have been something there?

She opened her door and slammed it just to get some of her frustration out and she kicked her shoes off with a groan. 

_ Stupid stupid stupid! _

Knowing that she would be wollowin in her own stupidity all evening if she was left to her own devices she knew she needed an outlet. Without really thinking about it she pulled out her phone from her purse and quickly typed out her text.

**Sansa: Are you guys still going out?**

She had barely had the time to shrug of her work clothes before there was a response.

**Margaery: Hell yeah! We are going to this club downtown! My brother and his boyfriend is gonna come too! Please tell me you’re coming!**

**Sansa: Text me the address and time and I’ll be there.**

**Margaery: OMG YES GIRL!**

Margaery was a bubbly girl that Sansa had known from when she spent a semester in High School i Highgarden and they had been friends ever since. She was also the one who had gotten Sansa the job at Targaryen Publishing when things had gone south at Baelish Publishing. 

“Gods girl! You look good!” Margaery gushed as Sansa walked up to where she was standing in line with two gorgeous men.

Sansa felt good. She was wearing a deep blue dress that was tight and had an almost sheer blue flowy overlay that reached a little further down her thighs. She had curled her hair and put on a little more make-up than she usually wore and she wore her favorite pair of blue wedge heeled sandals. She had needed the confidence boost of feeling like a sexy woman after being referred to as a girl.

“So do you!” Margaery had always been beautiful and confident in her beauty. As a teen Sansa had envied her more voluptuous figure and tonight she had it on display with a tight burgundy dress with a very deep v cleavage. Her brown hair was pulled away from her face and her full lips were painted a dark red that complimented her dress colour.

“You remember Loras,” Margaery said as her brother, with the same curly brown hair and twinkling eyes as her, pulled Sansa in for a hug. “And this is his boyfriend Renly.”

“Nice to meet you,” he told Sansa and she gave the handsome dark haired man a happy smile.

“The other guys are already inside. They managed to beat the heavy crowd,” Margaery said and sighed as she shifted on her feet. It was a nice late summer evening so the air was cool but it was still annoying to have to stand in line when all you wanted to do was have a drink and dance.

And Sansa really needed to do that, she needed to forget how Sandor’s words had hurt her and she needed a steady beat and a soft buzz to do that. Freakishly long line be damned, she’d wait.

“That’s what you get for deciding to go to the most popular club on a friday,” Loras teased his sister and hearing them banter as they had always done made Sansa feel a little lighter.

“Hey Sansa, that bouncer keeps staring at you,” Renly said low enough that only she could hear and instinctively she turned her head towards the front door of the club.

And of course. Of course, standing by the door staring at her with his grey eyes were none other than the man she had wanted to go out to forget about. When their eyes met he said something to the man standing next to him and started making his way down the line towards them.

“Hey,” he said in that rough raspy voice of his and she willed herself not to be affected by it.  _ I’m failing miserably at that. _

The others were staring at him as he looked down at Sansa and she tried to not let the attention get to her.

“Hey,” she answered and blushed when his eyes traveled down her body all the way to her toes. He didn’t even try to hide that he was checking her out! The nerve of this man. First telling his friend that she was nobody and then he goes and looks at her like he wants to devour her.

“Come with me,” he told Sansa and she should have hesitated. She should have told him no but instead she took a step towards him but was stopped when Margaery’s hand grasped her wrist.

“I don’t know what you think you are doing but she doesn’t have to go anywhere with you. We haven’t done anything wrong,” Margaery all but growled out.

Normally Sansa appreciated her friends fierce protective nature but now it embarrassed her. Because she knew that one of the reasons why Margaery reacted the way she did was because of how Sandor looked. She could tell by the scowl that twisted Sandor’s face that he knew that too.

“It’s okay, Marg. This is Sandor,” Sansa said and despite reminding herself that she was angry with him she couldn’t help but reach out and put a hand on his arm. She didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable, and despite thinking that a simple touch from her would help with that was probably naive she couldn’t help herself.

Margaery seemed shocked over the fact that they knew each other but she let go of Sansa’s wrist and stared at them as Sandor’s eyes flickered between Sansa’s face and her hand on his arm.

“You guys wanna get in right?” Sandor said without looking at anyone but Sansa, the answer being obvious. “Then fucking come with me.”

Without a word they all stepped out of the line and followed Sandor to the door. Without a word to them he opened the front door and called out to someone inside.

“No cover charge for this lot!” The boys and Margaery all gave her pleased smiles as they passed Sandor who was holding the door open for them.

She was hurt by his earlier words but even if he didn’t have the same interest in her as she had in him he was still nice to her right now so she couldn’t find it in herself to be rude.

“Thank you Sandor,” she said as she passed him and she there was that kindness again in his eyes. The same look that she had confused for something more. And it still made her stomach flutter even though she now knew it didn’t mean what she had thought it did.

“Don’t mention it, little bird,” he answered softly before promptly turning his attention back to the line of waiting people.

As soon as they got inside the club the beat of the music and bustle of people drowned out her friends frantic questioning and she pulled Margaery over to the bar to order drinks.

“So how do you know that giant of a man?” Margaery asked with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrow that had Sansa blush furiously.

“Sandor lives in my building. He helped me when I was moving in,” she said and she mustn’t have sounded too convincing because Margaery seemed even more intrigued then. “It’s not like that.”

“But you want it to be?” Margaery asked and Sansa flushed even deeper. Damn this stupid pale skin that didn’t let her hide anything.

_ Yes! _

“No,” she answered and Margaery shook her head at her.

“I’ve never seen you stare at a man like that before so don’t even try with me ms Stark,” she said as the bartender placed their drinks in front of them. “And for what it’s worth, you could totally have him if you wanted. Not only because you are a gorgeous confident woman but because he was staring at you like he wanted to devour you. Or maybe be devoured by you.”

“Margaery!” Sansa scolded as the bartender smirked at them before turning away to serve another customer.

“What? It’s the truth,” she said but seemed to realise that Sansa didn’t want to talk about it anymore because she changed the subject. “Sara texted that they had gotten a booth by the dancefloor so let’s head that way.”

Sansa followed Margaery through the thick crowd of people and as they made their way across the dance floor she found herself moving to the rhythm of the music and losing herself in the moment. It was just what she had needed.

“Hey guys! Look who I managed to drag out with me,” Margaery said as they reached the booth that their coworkers were occupying.

Targaryen Publishing was a fairly young publishing house, and most of the editing team was Sansa’s age or slightly older. The senior editors where a bit older and Sansa loved working for their boss Danaerys, she was kind but demanded perfection. She was quite young herself and had started the publishing company with the money she had inherited after her father’s death.

Danaerys wasn’t out with them tonight, though Margaery claimed she did join them sometimes. But Danaerys most senior editor, and best friend, Missandei was there with them and she gave Sansa that same kind smile she gave her every morning at work.

There were also four other junior editors there as well as two senior editors. She knew two of the girls, Sara and Gilly well. They were both kind and a bit bubbly and Sansa liked them. She also knew the senior editor Daario. He was a terrible flirt but Sansa had instantly explained that it made her uncomfortable and he had stopped instantly with a genuine apology. She had found that he was a caring and kind person underneath all that bravado.

“Our favorite new junior editor!” the other senior editor, Greyson, said with a soft smile and Sansa blushed.

“I’m the only new junior editor,” she protested but Daario threw his hand out and pulled her down next to him in the booth, silencing her protest.

“No matter. What do you guys say to toasting our newest family member with some shots?” he said and the others exclaimed happily. He waved down a server and moments later Sansa was throwing back the most disgusting thing she had ever drunk.

“Gods! What was that?” she asked Daario as she practically emptied her cocktail glass to wash away the taste.

“It’s absinth,” he said with a grin. “It will put hair on your chest.”

“I don’t want fucking hair on my chest, thank you,” Margaery said as she pushed her own still full shot glass towards Daario. With a shrug he downed that too and Sansa shivered as she remembered the awful taste. Despite its taste it did give her a nice buzz and when a new song started playing she was rocking her hips to the beat.

“Let’s dance!” she called out and Sara, Gilly, Missandei and Margaery all followed her out to the dance floor.

Sansa had always loved to dance. She loved how she could lose herself in the music and the movements of her body and nothing else would matter in that moment. Her dance teacher’s had always said that was her greatest strength but it was also her weakness. She had never cared for the rigorous training and repetition of movements that training dance professionally had entailed. She wanted to let the music lead her movements so she had left that dream behind. But she still had some skills and muscle control that she worked to keep fit, in her own time and her own way.

Despite being surrounded by so many people it was as if no one was there but her and her friends. And as they danced her cheeks started hurting from smiling so wide.

“Damn girl, you can move!” a man’s voice shouted out behind her but she ignored it and spun away to put some distance behind herself and the man. Thankfully he took the hint and they enjoyed dancing for a few more songs before heading back to the booth.

Daario had gotten them all drinks, thankfully no more shots, and Sansa accepted hers with a smile.

“You really shouldn’t have. You’ll spoil us,” she told him but he only shrugged with a smile.

“I think I can handle a few drinks and shots for one night. Don’t worry yourself. Let me spoil you,” he answered with that overly flirtatious tone he used on positively anyone. It still made Sansa take a step back, remembering the last time someone in her professional life had used that tone with her.

She had confided in Margaery as to why she had to leave Baelish publishing and her friend had stepped up instantly. And when she had met Daario she had explained that she had been sexually harassed by her boss and that she would appreciate if he kept it strictly professional with her.

Daario seemed to suddenly realise his mistake as he bowed his head in apology, thankfully not drawing any attention to Sansa’s suddenly stiffened back and strained smile. It was enough that her boss and now two people in the office knew. She didn’t want the other to. She wanted to remain Sansa and keep this as her fresh start.

“You got anymore of those disgusting shots?” she asked him and with a mischievous grin he waved a server over.

“I think we’ve had enough Absinth. It’s time for Tequila!” he called out and the whole booth whooped.

Okay so maybe she shouldn’t have taken that third tequila shot. She had never had that big of a tolerance for alcohol and it was catching up with her quick. She felt a bit unsteady on her feet as she was making her way back to the booth from the dance floor.

“I think I’m gonna go home,” she told Margaery who quickly stood up.

“You want me to come with you?” she asked as Sansa hugged her.

“Nah, I’ll just hail a cab,” she said and as she turned around she hit a freaking brick wall. Okay, maybe not an actual brick wall because it was warm. And it felt hard yet soft against her skin where her cheek was pressed against it.

“No need to kick her out. She was just leaving,” Daario called out and the brick wall rumbled. It actually rumbled against her cheek and she instantly leaned into the vibration.

“She is fucking drunk of her feet and you lot were just gonna let her leave on her own?” the brick wall spoke. It’s voice was deep and gravelly and somehow familiar. Sansa managed to lift her head and as she looked up she saw a thick dark beard. It was a person she had walked into! “Some fucking friends you are.”

“I’m not that drunk,” she protested and the owner of the beard tilted his head down to look at her. Grey eyes searched her face with concern and that stupid stomach of hers fluttered like it always did when his eyes looked at her. And she knew she couldn’t blame the alcohol because it was there even when she was stone cold sober.

“We were gonna call her a cab,” Margaery said but Sandor ignored her as he kept staring down at Sansa.

“You alright little bird?” he asked softly and she couldn’t help but wonder if he ever spoke that softly with anybody else. “You aren’t exactly sober.”

“I’m fine Sandor,” she stated as she took a step back from him. The movement made her lose her balance but before she could stumble and fall his large hands were there. Holding a firm but gentle grip on her arms, steadying her.

“I’m taking you home,” Sandor said with a growl and in the corner of her eye she saw Daario stand up as if he was going to fight Sandor on it. Daario was fit she knew but he was nothing compared to the mass of muscles that was Sandor. That didn’t seem to face Daario in that moment though, his mind clouded by alcohol.

“It’s alright Daario. I know Sandor,” she said hurriedly and that was enough to make the other man hesitate.

“How do you know him?” he asked as if he wanted to make sure that she was alright with going with this huge man.

Sansa lifted her chin to stare at Sandor then, trying to see what he was thinking but he kept his face unreadable as he stared back at her. His words from earlier that evening rang in her ears and she felt her good mood sour.

“He lives in my building,” she answered and as soon as the words left her mouth Sandor’s face pulled into a dark frown. Had he thought she’d say that they were friends? Or maybe on the way to something more? As if she was going to even think about doing that after what she had heard him say about her. 

_ Doesn’t feel so nice does it? _

She knew she was being petty but in that moment she didn’t care. Instead she pulled out of Sandor’s grip and turned to look at the others. She forced a smile and gave Margaery another hug.

“I’ll see you guys monday. Thanks for tonight, I had so much fun,” she said and they all waved at her.

“You sure you’re okay with him taking you home?” Margaery whispered and Sansa nodded. “Text me when you’re home then.”

As she turned back to Sandor he nodded towards the exit and he put a gentle hand around her arm and the feel of his rough calloused hands against her naked skin made her shiver. She hated her body for betraying her like that and she really wanted to pull away but as he lead her through the thick crowd she felt grateful that it was there. She wasn’t so drunk that she couldn’t walk but she was sure that without it they wouldn’t have made their way to the door so quickly. Everyone who noticed the giant of a bouncer pushing his way through instantly made room for them to pass.

“You leave a jacket or something?” he asked when they got to the entrance and she shook her head. With a grumble he opened the door and pulled her outside.

Despite it being summer and a cool evening the difference in temperature from the hot club made her shiver and Sandor frowned down at her. The fresh air helped sober her up a bit and she pulled her arm out from his grip. He turned his head to look at her in surprise and she stepped away from him.

“Where the fuck are you going?” he grumbled and she ignored him. He had practically man handled her and she didn’t like how he had thought he could decide what she should do without asking what she wanted. She didn’t like it one bit. “Fucking answer me.”

“I am hailing a cab,” she threw over her shoulder at him and strode down towards the road. Within seconds he was standing before her, blocking her path and frowning down at her. How could someone so large move so quickly without making a sound?

“Why the fuck would you do that? I told you I’d take you,” he said with an angry stare that she met with one of her own.

“Something I didn’t ask for nor accept,” she answered and he cursed under his breath. “I am more than capable of taking care of myself.”

“Dammit woman,” he growled out and her eyebrows raised at that. So now she was a woman was she? He released his hair from where it was tied back and ran his hands through it with a sigh.

She walked past him and was surprised that he let her. But somehow she knew that despite how frustrated he was with her he would never force her to do something she didn’t want. She didn’t know how she could be so sure but she just knew that. So as she stood by the road waiting for a cab to pass he just stood silently next to her.

She stopped herself from looking at him despite really wanting too and kept her eyes on the road. She was becoming cold and as she started rubbing her arms for warmth she heard him shuffle next to her. Suddenly she felt the weight of his black blazer as he draped it over her shoulders.

She turned her head to look at him in surprise and the look in his grey eyes was one of concern and steel determination. She knew that even if she would have argued that she didn’t need it he wouldn’t have let her give it back. But she didn’t want too.

Instead she pushed her arms through it and wrapped it tightly around herself. It was huge on her, bulking and reaching below her knees. It was also impossible warm and smelled like him. A warm woodsy smell that made her think of the woods outside of her childhood home and she couldn’t keep in a smile.

“Thank you,” she said softly and he nodded silently.

They remained standing by the road for several more minutes and there were no cabs in sight. With a sigh Sansa turned to him and he looked at her expectantly.

“Do you have the number to a cab company I could call?” she asked and that made his scowl return even stronger than before. That obviously wasn’t what he thought that she was going to say.

“I do,” he answered and despite her looking at him expectantly he didn’t say anything else.

“And you’re not gonna give it to me are you?” she said and he shook his head.

“Nah. I can be just as stubborn as you,” he responded and she had to bite her lip to fight her smile. Despite her best efforts to hide her amusement he seemed to have noticed because his lip twitched and there was an amused glint in his eyes.

She knew she was being stupid for insisting on taking a cab. He lived in the same building after all so it wouldn’t really inconvenience him but she didn’t like the idea of being indebted to him. She hadn’t felt that way before when she thought that they at least we're friends or on their way there.

But now that she knew that he only thought she was some girl living in his building it felt wrong somehow and she didn’t like that feeling at all. He was obviously only doing what he felt he needed to do as a decent human being and it didn’t mean anything more to him than that. But s he was tired and a bit drunk and she just wanted to go to bed so with a sigh, she turned fully to him. He raised his eyebrow at her expectantly and she sighed again.

“Fine. I’ll go with you,” she stated and he scoffed.

“That didn’t sound like you asking,” he said low and she rolled her eyes at him. She was in no mood for his teasing tonight so she turned back towards the road.

“Never mind, I’ll google the number,” she said but his hand on her shoulder turned her around to face him again.

“Knock it off,” he growled and his hand slid down her arm until it reached her hand. He grasped it firmly in his and pulled her after him as he walked over to the side of the building. There were several cars parked there and he walked over to a big black truck.

Without a word he let go of her hand and got in the truck. For a moment she just stood there staring at the car door. But then she snapped out of her surprise. What had she expected? That he’d open the car door for her like some gentleman? He had never given her the impression of being a gentleman and it wasn’t like he saw her as some special. She was just  _ some girl.  _ And definitely not someone worth opening doors for apparently.

He was staring at her expectantly and with a huff she opened the car door and climbed in. He didn’t say anything as he drove the short distance to their apartment building and he had barely put the car in park before she jumped out and hurried inside.

She wanted to be alone. She wanted to just forget that she had ever, maybe, had the beginning of a crush on her neighbour. But to do that she couldn’t be around him right now. She knew she was feeling extra vulnerable because of the alcohol in her system and the fact that she was in a whole new city without her family.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he called out as he caught up with her on the first landing. He spun her around to face him and his eyes were glowing with suppressed anger.

“There’s nothing wrong with  _ me,”  _ she bit out and pulled her arm out of his grip. The motion made her remember that she was still wearing his blazer and she quickly shrugged out of it. Without a word she held it out to him and his anger fizzled out and was replaced by confusion as he took it from her.

“Ah. So it’s me then,” he said and his voice sounded so resigned she hesitated to move. “Find someone nicer to look at to spend your time with then? Don’t want me around you no more?”

The bite in his voice made her anger surface and she didn’t like what he was implying. Apparently he thought her shallow and mean, no wonder he didn’t like her the way she had thought he had.

“Why do you even care? I’m just some girl who lives in your building,” she bit back. She hoped her throwing his own words back at him would make him understand her hurt or at least make him embarrassed but there was no reaction. His face was a blank emotionless slate and it frustrated her beyond words.

She was too tipsy to have this conversation, she knew that but the logical part of her couldn’t be heard above the angry flare of drunk Sansa and unfortunately she had control over their mouth in this moment.

“You really think I’m some fucking shallow spoiled little girl don’t you?” she growled out and took a step closer. He stared down at her without a single word or even flinch and that made her even angrier. “Well I’m not! What I am though is stupid and naive to think that you actually cared! You were kind when you didn’t have to be and of course stupid naive Sansa made it into something it wasn’t. At least now I know the truth.”

“And what’s the fucking truth?” he asked in a growl and she glared at him.

“It’s like you told your friend Bronn. I’m nobody.”

Her cheeks burned with equal parts embarrassment and anger and she needed to get away from him. Her eyes had started to sting with angry tears and there was no way she was going to let him see her cry, no matter the reason for it.

She had managed to get her door unlocked before he caught up with her again and she hurried to pull it open but his hand shot out to lay over hers on the door handle, keeping the door closed.

“You don’t know shit about me,” his voice came out as an angry huff of warm air against the top of her head and she had to close her eyes to keep herself from shivering when she felt the heat of his body so close to her back. “I am not a decent selfless human being like you. So I’d never fucking leave work three hours early to make sure someone who’s _nobody_ _to_ _me_ got home safe.”

With those words he pulled away his hand and her back became cold again. It took her a moment to steady her breathing but when she looked over her shoulder the hallway behind her was empty.

She opened her door and walked straight into her bedroom, not even bothering with washing away her makeup, she pulled off her dress and collapsed into bed.

She had no idea what had just happened and right now she didn’t have the energy to care. Sandor Clegane was too confusing for her tequila infused brain. She’d have to deal with him tomorrow. If he ever bothered to speak with her again.  Somehow she doubted he would and that stung almost as much as they way he had described her to Bronn.

“What’s wrong with me?” she asked the empty room and when there was no response she slowly fell asleep.


	5. Ikea?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Sandor take her to Ikea? Or has that ship sailed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been super busy writing the final chapters to my other fic, which I'm now just finishing last editing on!
> 
> Needed to take a break and write something much fluffier and sweet.
> 
> I had so much fun writing this chapter! I hope you guys have fun reading it!

Sandor was sitting in his truck staring at the clock on the dashboard. Everytime it changed it felt as if it was taunting him. They had said ten. Ten o'clock outside the building but now the clock was a glarin 10:20 and there was still no sign of Sansa.

He knew she had been irritated, maybe even angry with him over something last night. He had no idea why, but he had never been that good with understanding women or people in general for that matter. Maybe he had been a bit overprotective after he had seen her at the club. But fuck, had she no idea how beautiful she looked? From the moment he had seen her standing in line he hadn’t managed to look away. He was supposed to be outside for another hour but as soon as she had gone inside he had switched with one of the other bouncers to man the floor so that he could keep looking at her. And he might have been wishing he could make the head of that stupidly pretty man, who kept touching and flirting with her, fucking explode.

Maybe that was why, she had caught him staring and found him creepy as fuck? Maybe that was why she hadn’t shown up on the agreed time? That didn’t explain why she had been so pissy with him when he had offered to take her home though. If she had found him creepy she would have told him so, but that wasn’t what she had said.

She had been speaking so fast and heatedly that he hadn’t really been able to keep up with what she was saying. It didn’t help that that dress of hers hugged her  _ everywhere _ and she smelled so fucking good when she was that close to him.

She had said something about Bronn and being nobody and he had just stood there dazed before his feet had hurried after her. He had wanted to spin her around and show her that she wasn’t nobody. Fucking far from it. But he had been able to control himself in the last second and had avoided making a bloody fool of himself.

She was fucking everything he could think about, he would catch himself staring out into space and in his minds eye he’d picture her smile or the twinkle in her eyes when she teased him. And he’d think about how kind she was to him even though he hadn’t really given her a reason to be. And how something so simple as running into her in the hallway or entryway would be the hightlight of his fucking day. Because she would always smile at him, fucking smile as if she was happy to see him.

She had only lived in the same building as him for a week and she had already changed his life from avoiding interactions with people to hoping for some. Still only with her, but he had never wanted that before with anyone.

“Fuck this,” he growled as the clock turned 10:30. He jumped out of the truck and hurried back inside the building.

Once he reached her apartment door he banged on it so hard the whole door shook. But he was too irritated to care. She opened the door and as she took him in her eyes widened with surprise.

“Are you sick?” he asked angrily and she frowned up at him.

God dammit, why did she have to be so freaking pretty? Her hair was up in a high ponytail and it was still damp from the shower she must have just taken. She was wearing a blue crop top, showing all of her pale stomach and he had to remind himself not to stare. She had on grey sweatpants and when had sweatpants ever looked sexy? Never before her. But they hung low on her hip, exposing her hip bone and he could see a hint of yellow lace peeking out from underneath the grey fabric.

_ Oh shit. Don’t stare. Fucking hell. _

“What?” Her response came after a shocked moment and she was frowning up at him. Her face was scrubbed clean from make-up and the thought that this was what she looked like the moment she woke up in the morning made his chest ache with something he couldn’t identify.

“Are you sick?” he growled out trying to remind himself that he was angry. “Because that’s the only reason that explains why you weren’t downstairs at ten like we fucking agreed.”

Her eyebrows lifted so high in surprise that he would have chuckled if he wasn’t so annoyed with her. Instead he scowled down at her.

_ Angry. Doesn’t matter how cute she looks, I’m angry. _

“What?” she croaked again and he had to bite his tongue not to curse at her. He knew his temper wasn’t his friend in this moment.

“I don’t know how you do things but if I make plans with someone I keep them,” he rasped out as her eyes widened.

“You’d still take me to Ikea?” She sounded so surprised that he couldn’t help but frown.

“Fucking said I would didn’t I?” he asked and there was something different in her eyes then. Something that reminded him of how she had looked at him last night. As if she was trying so hard to understand him.

“After last night I thought…” she started and he instinctively took a step back.  _ Of course you fucking idiot! _

He had known she was angry and last night he had thought that she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. But stating that to her then had made her angrier and the sad stupid fuck that he was had taken it as meaning that she did want to still spend time with him. But now she was staring at him and he felt so fucking stupid for not trusting his fucking instincts.

Why in the fucking world would she want to spend time with him if she didn’t have to? Maybe that pretty boy from last night had offered to take her instead. She’d probably like his company over a miserable old fuck like him.

“If you didn’t want me to take you anymore you could have just given me the curtousy of fucking saying so instead of just fucking standing me up,” he rasped out and bit his lip hard when he realised that the hurt he felt could be heard in his voice.

“That’s not… I didn’t…” she struggled and then she took a deep breath before pinning him in place with those impossibly blue eyes of hers. “I thought you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me after how I acted last night.”

That made him scowl. Why the fuck would she think that? Yeah she had been annoying as hell and confusing. But none of those things made him want to see her any less. Fucking hell, every new piece of her that he saw made him want to see more.

“Yeah well I do. I waited for you,” he told her and he regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Not because it wasn’t the truth, but because it was. It was too exposing and it sounded fucking sappy and needy. He felt all those things but he didn’t want her to fucking know that.

Why would she want to know that he was fucking pining over her? He’d disgust her and she would pull away and that would be that. He’d never get to spend time with her anymore, he’d be lucky if she even looked at him when they ran into each other, let alone smile.

“You did?” she asked and he nodded, because he could never lie to her. Never wanted to. And then her face split into one of those bright radiant smiles that  _ was _ Sansa and all of his anger instantly evaporated. “I’m sorry. Is there anyway you’d be willing to reschedule?”

“You don’t wanna go today then?” he asked and she cocked her head to the side. He found that endearing, her reminding him even more of a little bird.

“You’d still be up for it? Because I can be ready in five minutes,” she said and the poorly contained excitement in her voice and eyes made him chuckle.

“Go on then. I’ll wait.”

The words had barely left his mouth before she had turned and sprinted down the hall to her bedroom. He stood in the doorway smiling like a stupid idiot as he heard her shuffle around in her bedroom. It took 10 minutes but it didn’t matter because when she reappeared she had changed into a bright yellow flowy sundress and her hair was in a tight braid down her back.

_ Yellow might be my new favorite color. _

She smiled at him as she put on a pair of white converse and grabbed a white knitted sweater that was hanging over the couch. He had always heard the guys at work complaining about how their women took forever to get ready. Yet here she was and within 10 minutes she looked freaking breathtaking.

_ Not that she is mine. _

He kept reminding himself of that fact as he held open the front door for her and as he hurried to get to the passenger door before she did. He remembered how she had glared at it and him when he hadn’t even thought of doing that the night before. She was the type of woman who was used to having doors opened for her. He might have thought her ridiculous for being angry at him for not doing something she was more than capable of doing herself. But he also thought that she deserved to be treated with that kind of care. And when he did just that now she stared at him for what felt like forever before giving him a happy smile as she jumped inside the truck.

_ That smile is fucking worth being a fucking sap. _

Sandor always hated being in public places because he hated feeling like a circus freak let out of his cage with how people stared and gasped and whispered. Then to add a fucking furniture warehouse to that equation would usually make him fucking miserable.

Yet as Sansa pulled him along every single display, of course she would want to look at everything despite them being there to buy one particular piece of furniture, he wasn’t completely miserable.

Because every so often she would spot something she wanted to point out to him and she’d touch his arm or grab his hand to drag him over to ask his opinion on something. And each time her hand touched his skin he felt like he was gonna explode from sensory overload.

As if he wasn’t flushed enough by her touching him she had pulled him over to the bedroom department and asked his opinion on bed sheets. He had been honest and pointed out the one he liked the most and she had fucking picked that one. Now he had the image of her laying on the sheets he helped her pick out swirling in his mind.

“Are you hungry?” she asked suddenly and he shrugged, trying to not have it show on his face what he had just been thinking.

“I could eat,” he answered and she gave him a crooked smile. “What?”

“Oh I was just expecting you to say something along the lines of a man your size needing to fuel up.” Her teasing made him scoff.

“I ain’t some fucking bodybuilder. I’m just big,” he stated and she smiled at him. This was a playful smile and one he couldn’t help but return.

“I’ve noticed,” she said and he gulped at the way her eyes moved down his torso. But then she was smiling innocently again so he was pretty sure he must have imagined it. No fucking way she could be attracted to him, he knew what his fucking face looked like so he shouldn’t kid himself.

As they stood in line for the food she wrapped her arm around his and the connection made him care a lot less about other people staring. He could just pretend, for a moment, that this was a date and that he was just a normal guy with a beautiful girl.

“I have never had Swedish Meatballs,” he said as he read the menu and she gasped as if he had said something completely outrageous.

“Then we have to have some!” she exclaimed and with her eyes shining up at him like that he couldn’t find it in his heart to say that he had his eye on the chicken.

They ended up having to get a cart for all the stuff Sansa kept picking up. He had no idea how anyone could need so many different scented candles or napkins that were “pretty” or a new serving tray because she liked the pattern on it. But he kept his mouth shut and pushed the cart through the aisles as she disappeared behind shelves and reappeared with more things to put in the cart.

“Oh I need one of these.” He read the sign of the vase she had just grabbed with a frown.

_ A tulip vase? Why would tulips need a special vase? _

He didn’t ask that though, because he didn’t want her to think him stupid incase that was just common knowledge. Not that he had any knowledge about flowers anyway, so what the fuck did he know?

When she returned from another trip into one of the aisles she caught him eyeing a bedding set in black and white and without a word she picked up two sets and held them up to him.

“I imagine you have one of those obscenely large beds so you must sleep under one big cover right? Or do you have two regular sized ones?” she asked and he looked at her with wide eyes.

“You’ve imagined my bed?” He had said the words without thinking, his voice full of disbelief and,  _ holy shit, _ she started blushing so hard it spread down her neck. She put down the bedding sets and took a step away from him and he felt wickedly pleased with himself as he pointed at the one with the large cover. “I do have a large bed and only one cover to share.”

She sputtered as she put the bed set in the cart. After that she walked with a single minded determination until it was time to get the bookshelf. He got them another cart and met her at the right shelf. On his way he passed a bucket full of tulips and before he could talk himself out of it he grabbed some pink ones. When she saw them her eyes widened and he practically threw them at her.

“For your new vase.” His voice was a mumbled grunt but her smile was so wide and bright that you’d think that he had bought them for her, not just gotten them from a shelf.

_ Fuck, you shouldn’t make a woman pay for her own flowers should you? The fuck do I do now? _

He frowned down at the damned flowers in her hand and he wished he had just left them in that stupid bucket. Now she’d just think him a cheap asshole.

“This is the one we’re getting.” Sansa didn’t say anything about the flowers, she just smiled at him and pointed at the right space on the shelf. He guessed that the best thing he could do was to act as if nothing was bothering him.

There were several boxes for it and some rather heavy ones but he insisted that he could do it himself and told her to just keep track so that he didn’t miss anything.

He had just pulled out one of the heavier boxes out from the shelf and turned to ask Sansa how many there were left on the list. As he turned his head towards her he found her staring open mouthed at him and her eyes were blown wide. The warm weather had made him decide to only were a black t-shirt today and he could swear that her eyes were on his arms.

They were straining with the weight and he knew that he was fit but he had never been looked at like  _ that.  _ It made him feel strangely proud and pleased by her apparent appreciation of him and he couldn’t help but smirk.

“Think we got everything?” he asked and when she didn’t respond he flexed his arm a little harder and his smirk grew when her eyes followed the movement of his biceps. “Sansa?”

She jumped at the sound of her name and there was that deep blush again that made his stomach coil. Her eyes flew up to his face and her breath hitched before she tried to busy herself with checking the list in her hand.

“Yeah, that’s everything.” Her voice sounded huskier then he had ever heard it and he couldn’t stop the grin that split his face.

“You sure? Might wanna check that list again,” he suggested and as she double checked he saw the moment she realised her mistake. Her eyes widened and she bit her lower lip. The action causing him to do the same to keep in a groan.

_ Imagine Bronn naked. Bronn naked. Fuck, keep your cool. _

“Oh. No we need one more box,” she said without looking up at him.

“What has gotten you so distracted?” he teased and her blush turned a shade deeper. Fuck, he couldn’t believe that he could inspire such a reaction in a woman like Sansa.

“I…” he took pity on her then and instead of tormenting her further he picked up the last box and started pushing the cart towards the check out. She followed closely behind him with the other cart and when she started scanning everything he tried to protest and grab his bedding from her but she shook her head.

“Nope. You’ve really helped me out today. Let me get this for you. It’s the least I can do.” He recognized that stern tint in her voice that she had used on him in the hospital. He knew there was no point in arguing so he simply nodded and wondered how it would feel to sleep with bedding a beautiful woman had bought for him.

The wicked part of him wondered how deeply she would flush if he told her about how he slept in the nude.


	6. Building something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandor helps build the bookcase when they get back from Ikea. Might they be building something stronger together? (Super cheesy I know)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you guys!
> 
> This is like my little silly fun fluffy AU that I just write for smiles. The response just blows me away! Thank you!

She had lost track how many trips Sandor had to take before he had gotten every box up to her apartment. She busied herself with putting away the little things she had gotten. As she put the tulips in her new vase her heart fluttered over how he flustered and how unsure he had looked as he had handed them to her. It had been so sweet of him to think of that and it just showed what kind of man he was. 

Once she moved back into the living room he was already opening boxes and setting up. As she watched him she was reminded of what he had said about her to Bronn and she knew she had to let that go. If anything she was sure now that he was a man of action, rather than words, and his actions showed her that he did care.

“You don’t have to assemble it.” He looked up at her from where he was sitting on the floor. His grey eyes stared at her for a moment before he shrugged.

“I’d like to help. But I can go if you’d prefer,” he said and she instantly shook her head.

“No. I’d really appreciate the help.” Her answer was instant and he nodded before going back to sorting out the different screws and things. “Do you want something to drink? I have wine, beer, lemonade.”

“I think I’ll start with something non-alcoholic. It’s better to have your wits about you when trying to assemble this shit,” he said and she smiled at him. “Unless everything turns to shit, then it will take something stronger than wine or beer.”

“I have peppermint schnapps,” she told him and he pulled a disgusted face.

“I’d have to be fucking desperate to drink that,” he said with a teasing tilt in his voice. “Put it in the freezer so that it’s cold when we need it.”

“When?”

“Better if I lower your expectations. I fucking hate doing this shit.” He was surprisingly funny and drew a laugh out of her as she poured two glasses of lemonade.

“Yet here you are helping me out,” she stated and he looked up at her with a sudden warmth in his eyes.

“Yeah, here I am.”

They stared at each other for a long time and the heat and warmth in his eyes made Sansa question how she could have thought that he saw her as just some girl. There was no way he could look at her like that if he did, he looked at her like she was _the girl,_ _his girl._

Her heart jumped at the thought and with a warm flush to her cheeks she turned her face away, taking a deep swig of her lemonade. He did the same and cringed as he swallowed.

“Sorry. I like it really sour. I can put some more sugar in it if you’d like,” she offered but he shook his head and took a smaller sip.

He then turned his attention back to the boxes and together they opened everything and sorted out the pieces and he placed everything out in the order that they would need them

“Okay, it’s pretty straightforward,” he said as he checked over the instructions a second time. There was something endearing about him not feeling the need to be mascho and act as if he didn’t need the instructions. Her brothers would have seen the instructions as an insult to their manhood, that was the reason her dresser that she had brought from home was a bit wobbly and she had to lift the lowest drawer to be able to pull it out.

“I’ll follow your lead,” she told him and he nodded.

“Do you have a drill? We have to anchor this to the wall or it might fall over.” She hurried over to her closet and pulled out the small toolbox her father had gotten her when she moved into her first apartment. When she handed him the tiny drill he looked at it with disgust and shook his head.

“This is a concrete wall. That does not have enough power.” As soon as he spoke he stood and downed his glass of lemonade, this time without cringing. “I’ll go get mine.”

He was only gone for a few minutes and once he returned they set to work. She soon realised that they worked well together. He was meticulous and thorough but he also gave clear instructions and listened to her input. 

“Okay, time to anchor this,” he said and she had to remind herself not to stare to obviously at his arms as he got the shelf up against the wall. He was just so damn strong, and the sight of those big bulging arms made her knees go weak. “Can you just support this while I fasten the screws?”

She nodded, unable to form words at that moment, and moved to hold the bookcase against the wall. He stood just behind her as he reached up over the top of it. She was acutely aware that his body was just an inch or so from hers and the heat he exuded was intoxicating as well as his scent. He smelled the same way his blazer had, only more potent making her stomach flutter nervously. When he used the drill the vibrations beneath her palms moved up her arms and she held her breath as she felt him move to the second screw behind her. The new position made his chest just touch her back for a few seconds but it was enough to make her blush furiously again. Damn her complexion. She couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to have his whole body pressed against her. Would he be hard all over?

As soon as he stepped back she hurried over to the kitchen, desperate to busy herself with something so that he couldn’t tell where her mind had gone.

“To you want something to eat? I got oatmeal cookies or brownies,” she suggested and when she looked up to see his response there was a flutter in her chest.

There he stood, this large imposing man, in her living room putting up shelves in her new bookcase and the scene felt so domestic. She could imagine him there in her space regularly, eating dinner or watching a movie. It just felt so natural and easy, and she had felt the same way when they were at Ikea. Like they were shopping together for their home.

She barely knew him yet she felt like she did. Why did time have to dictate what you could and could not feel for another person? Was it really that ridiculous of her to picture a future with this man in front of her? They hadn’t even kissed yet.

_ Yet? _

“Both sounds great. I’ll take whatever isn’t deadly,” he teased and she couldn’t help but stick her tongue out at him. That pulled a surprised laugh out of him and she grinned as she put both treats on her new tray.

She sat it down on the coffee table as he put up the last shelf and it looked even better than she had pictured. She felt so happy she couldn’t help but jump up and down and he chuckled at her excitement.

“It’s perfect. Thank you Sandor!” He scratched his neck in what she suspected was a sign that he was nervous. Her gratefulness seemed to make him uncomfortable but she couldn’t help herself. She was grateful and he should know it.

“Wanna put up the books?” he suggested and she nodded happily. “So how do you want them? By author? Title?”

“I… I actually have a different system,” she admitted and she didn’t know why she suddenly felt embarrassed as he looked at her intently. “I put the books I re-read a lot in the middle. The ones I’m not likely to read again I put on the top or bottom shelves.”

He chuckled with a shake of his head. It ended up taking a while to sort all of her books since he had to hold up every one he picked up and she had to direct him where to put it. It felt incredibly intimate to have him know what books she read and even more so, which was her favorite books. He probably thought her silly with the amount of romance novels that ended up in the middle of the bookcase.

She worked her way through her part of the boxes quicker so eventually it was done and as they admired their work she couldn’t help but wrap her arms around his waist in a hug. He stiffened beneath her but after a moment she felt one of his strong arms circle her shoulders and hug her back. It only lasted a few seconds before he pulled away with a clearing of his throat and she took another brownie to have something to occupy herself with. Trying to steady the racing of her heart that the feeling of his body against hers had started.

“I think we’ve earned some schnapps,” he said and with a nod she got the bottle out of the freezer and put it on the coffee table along with glasses. He held up the water glass with a smirk. “You plan on getting me drunk?”

“I don’t have any shot glasses,” she told him.

“Ah. Something to get on our next trip to Ikea then,” he teased but it only made her heart flutter. What if he really meant it? Was he picturing them doing this regularly? And as what? Friends or something more?

He poured a generous serving of schnapps in each glass and she drank half of it in one go hoping to calm her raging nerves.

“Wow, slow down little bird,” he said with a chuckle. “Am I so insufferable that you need a buzz to stand being around me?”

She knew his selfdeprication was meant to be teasing but she didn’t like it one bit. He seemed to think so little of himself and she wished he could see himself like she did.

“No, but it helps giving me the courage to do this,” she said and when he raised his eyebrow questionly she walked right up to him and cupped his face in her hands. The scratchiness of his beard against her palm made her move her thumb across it slowly. His eyes widened as she pulled his face down towards hers and she stood on her toes so that he wouldn’t have to bend too far down.

She pressed her mouth against his she closed her eyes to savour the moment. The burnt corner of his lips felt rough against her mouth but she found she didn’t mind the sensation. The rest of his lips were full and softer than she had expected.

He didn’t kiss her back and when she pulled back and opened her eyes she found him staring at her wide eyed. The confusion and disbelief that she found in his eyes made her blush and turn away her gaze.

_ Shit, shit, shit! I’ve completely misread him! _

“What the hell was that?” he asked roughly and she flinched at the sharpness in his tone.

“I thought… That maybe… God, how stupid can I be,” she stuttered out and hurried to the kitchen to put some distance between them. She was mortified.  _ Can you die from embarrassment? _

She liked him and she had gone for it and it had freaking crashed and burned and now she worried that she had ruined the friendship they had been building. She heard him follow her but she kept her eyes fixed on the kitchen counter in front of her.

“What did you think? That you’d owe me something for helping you?” He sounded so harsh and bitter that it made her breath hitch.

“No!” With a gasp she spun around to face him. His face was dark and he was scowling down at her with an angry flare in his eyes. “I thought there was something happening here. Between you and me. I’m sorry that I misread you.”

He didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at her. It was strange to see the ripple of change in his face and eyes as he processed what she had said. His anger simmered until it extinguished and was placed with concentration and then confusion. It wasn’t until there was a twitch at his lip that she felt that she could breathe again.

“You mean you... kissed me because you… wanted to?” His voice sounded almost breathless with disbelief. Her throat felt dry due to the way he was staring at her so intensely that she could only manage a nod. “Holy fucking hell.”

She felt herself flush happily at the wonder in his voice and when he returned her smile with one of his own it felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest. There was a new heat in his eyes now, one she recognised within herself and without needing any words of encouragement she threw her arms around his neck and this time he was the one to bend down and press his lips against hers first.

It was a firm kiss and when his hands grasped her hips she pressed herself closer to his chest. He groaned when her tongue licked his lower lip and that was all she needed to press her tongue inside to deepen the kiss. He tasted like peppermint and chocolate and his beard scratched her skin.

“Shit,” he murmured against her mouth when they needed to breathe and his hands tightened on her hips. She smiled against his lips and then his mouth was on hers again. This was a new kiss as well. She felt as if he was trying to devour her and she wanted him to. Her hands made their way into his hair and when she raked her nails against his scalp it pulled an actual moan out of his mouth.

With a strong hold on her hips he suddenly lifted her feet off the ground as if she weighed nothing and put her butt firmly on the kitchen counter. That simple display of strength made her toes curl and she spread her legs to pull him against her.

The new angle was less of a strain on her neck and she was able to fully wrap her arms around him so that she could move her hands over his back. It was so broad and hard beneath her fingers and she couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel and look like to have it naked against her hands. Feeling emboldened by how his hands had moved from her hips to one caressing her back and the other gripping her thigh she moved her hand until she could feel the exposed skin between his shirt and pants. It was so warm and surprisingly smooth and she needed to feel more of him. With a needy gasp of air she pushed both her hands underneath his t-shirt and dragged her fingers and nails over the muscled expanse of his back.

Her movement caused him to pull his mouth away from hers and she tried to chase his lips with her own only to stop when he pressed his mouth against the line of her jaw. She couldn’t remember if she had ever been kissed like this before. There was a savage type of need in the way he nipped and licked and kissed every inch of skin on his way down her neck and it was followed by the delicious burn of his beard. When his mouth traveled across the skin of her clavicle the sensation it caused between her legs made her gasp and wrap her legs around his hips.

His head flew up as she pulled him closer, not close enough to press him where she wanted him but close enough to feel the heat he was radiating. His grey eyes were practically black and he looked almost feral with how his dark hair had been mussed up by her hands. She couldn’t help but wonder if she looked as flushed and needy as he did. The thought pulled a smile from her lips.

“What?” he asked and his voice sounded deeper and huskier than she had ever heard it before and it made the baser part of her wrap her thighs tighter around him, needing him closer.

He hissed as they pressed together and the feeling of his hardness pressed against her core made her groan. It was probably too much too soon but as he looked down at her, his eyes hooded with lust, she couldn’t help but rub herself against him.

“Fuck,” he gasped out and she used his moment of wide eyed disbelief to press openmouthed kisses up his neck and by the time she dragged her teeth along his jaw his eyes were closed and his breath panting.

His hand that had been on her thigh had fisted tightly into the fabric of her dress and the other was drawing slow circles against the exposed skin of her back and with a deep sigh he rested his forehead against hers.

“I have to get ready for work,” he said and she couldn’t help but stiffen. She quickly unwrapped her legs from around him and her hands dropped down to her lap. She tried to slow her breathing and calm the racing of her heart. His words weren’t a rejection but it still stung a little.

What had she hoped would happen? They barely knew each other and she had never moved this fast into kissing anyone before. They haven’t even been on a date or anything. She didn’t even know if he wanted to date her. What if he only wanted to sleep with her and that would be it? That thought made her stomach churn and her chest ache.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, little bird?” he asked softly as he used his thumb and forefinger to grasp her chin to lift her eyes to meet his.

“Just some incessant chirping.” She hoped to hide her discomfort behind the joke. He didn’t seem convinced though. He kept his eyes on hers, and there was that kindness that had endeared her to him from the beginning shining in them.

“I’d never thought I’d say this but I’d rather have the chirping than this silence,” he said with a sigh as he took a step back from her. The distance only made her feel cold and uncertain and she dropped her eyes down on her lap again. “Sansa.”

His voice was a low growl, as if in warning and it made her lift her eyes to him. He was staring at her and she watched as he crossed his arms, making the muscle there flex with the movement. It reminded her of the ache between her legs and she felt her cheeks flush.

“I… I don’t….” she started and that pulled his face into a scowl. “I like you.”

His arms fell to his sides with a surprise huff of air and in one long stride he was against her again. His hand reached up to push a lock of stray hair behind her ears with surprising tenderness and it made her smile despite her conflicted thoughts.

“Well I fucking hope so,” he said pulling a surprised laugh out of her. “I don’t fucking go to Ikea with just anyone you know.”

“Yeah?” she couldn’t resist reaching out a hand, cuping his cheek and dragging her nails through his thick beard. There was a deep rumble in his chest that sounded almost like purring as he leaned into the touch. “What about making out in the kitchen?”

Her question made him huff out a rough laugh and he gave her a serious look like she should know the answer to that question. When she kept looking at him expectantly he grumbled and grasped the back of her neck.

“I haven’t done that with anyone before,” he told her and her eyes widened in surprise. “What? Can’t be that surprising that not that many women have wanted to kiss this ugly mug.”

She felt him stiffen when she lifted her other hand and gently put it against his scarred cheek but he didn’t pull away or sneer. He just watched her with weary eyes as her thumb slowly caressed the stiff raised skin.

“Does it hurt?” she asked and he shook his head slightly. “You are not ugly Sandor.”

“You don’t need to spit niceties at me little bird. I’ve lived with this face for most of my life. I know what I look like in the mirror.” His voice trembled with something she couldn’t identify. It was either anger or sadness or a strong mix of both. She decided to drop the subject and settled for pressing a soft kiss against his lips.

“You are too stubborn to argue with,” she teased and it pulled a small smile from his lips. She then pushed him back enough for her to be able to jump down from the counter.

“Right. I should go,” he said hesitantly and she nodded. Her chest ached a little as she followed him to the door and watched him put on his shoes.

He hesitated by the door when he straightened and she took a step closer to him not wanting him to leave without a word, like he tended to do.

“Thank you for today Sandor,” she said softly causing him to shrug.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he protested but she shook her head. That stubborn streak they both had amused her and he gave her a smirk of his own. “Would you… Can I…”

He clenched his jaw hard and took a deep breath through his nose then and the sight of this large man, who had just been kissing her senseless in her kitchen, acting nervous around her made her smile.

The second he noticed her smile it was as if all nervousness flowed out of him and he reached out his hand for hers. She interlaced their fingers and when he pulled her towards him she happily complied. His other hand snaked around her back and she looked up at him with wide expectant eyes.

“This is in the fucking wrong order but I aint fucking complaining,” he said and she frowned slightly. “I’d really like your number if that is alright with you.”

She was so caught off guard but that request that a laugh bubbled out of her mouth. Her laugh made his face fall so she quickly pressed herself closer to him so that he wouldn’t get the wrong idea.

“Of course you can have my number. And I really hope you plan on using it,” she told him and he released her hand to fish out his phone out of his back pocket. With a smile she accepted it and sent herself a text.

“Have a good night then.” He leaned down as he spoke and when his mouth was only inches away from her lips she tilted her head up to meet his. It was supposed to be a light kiss goodbye but as soon as their lips touched it was as if a switch snapped within her.

Her hands ended up grasping fistful of his t-shirt, pulling him flush against her. One of his large hands held the back of her head while the other spanned the width of her lower back. It was a frantic meeting of lips and tongues as they both were desperate for more. She moaned when his hand moved down from her back to her ass, cuping it and pressing her even closer to him. There was a responding moan from him when she took his lower lip between her teeth and bit down.

For a few seconds the whole world was a blur and it didn’t come back into focus until she was pressed against her front door, the only thing keeping her off the ground was Sandor’s strong forearm beneath her ass. She leaned her head back against the door with a thud while Sandor’s mouth nipped and kissed along her neck and shoulder.

“You seem to like picking me up,” she said and the husky sound of her voice surprised even herself.

“That okay with you?” he asked against her neck and the feel of his warm breath against her skin made her shiver all over.

“Yeah. I like it. A lot.” It was the truth. His strength sent a thrill down to her core, making her ache even more. Her need made her move her hands down his back with the firm scrape of her nails.

“How the fuck can you be real?” he growled out as his face moved down towards the top of her breasts.

She felt as if she was lit ablaze with need and hunger and she wanted him so badly she ached. She wanted him naked in her bed and she never wanted him to leave it. She had probably gone insane with lust but she didn’t really care. She only knew she wanted him and what was wrong with that?

_ Nothing. _

“Sandor,” she moaned as his tongue traced the top of her breast and she moved her hands into his hair using it to pull his head up to have him look at her. “My bedroom is just down the hall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger.
> 
> What do you guys think will happen? Will one of them think it too soon and pump the breaks? Or will Sandor get to see her bedroom?
> 
> (I am seriously having too much fun with this cheesiness!)


	7. New position

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandor is getting offers left and right. (bad bad bad, I know)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I didn't mean to keep you guys waiting this long for the next chapter.
> 
> Well, here it is. I hope you guys enjoy!

He knows he has been hesitating too long, staring at her with bewilderment, when she unwraps her legs from around his hips. Her feet slide down to the floor but his arms doesn’t let go of their tight grip on her so she remains pressed flush against him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you.” Her eyes are honest and soft as she looks up at him and he can’t keep in the laugh that pushes out from between his lips. It’s a light, soft sound that he’d never heard before.

_ What the fuck is she doing to me? _

“Trust me I don’t feel pressured,” he reassured her as he lifted a hand to push a stubborn strand of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on the soft skin just behind it. “I’d really like to but not when I have to be at work in an hour.”

“I trust you,” she assures him and those words said so lightly, so surely does something to his insides. It’s as if his heart suddenly started beating double time, trying to make up for all the times it had left him feeling dead inside.

As she reaches up to cup his burned cheek he has no idea what he did to deserve the attention of someone like her. Let alone earn her trust after her only having known him for such a short time. What was it that she saw in him that no one else had ever before?

He was desperate to know, desperate so that he could make sure that she always saw that, he realised with a start. He had never given two shits about anyone else before, but now her opinion suddenly mattered more than anything. And he wasn’t going to ruin that with a quick fuck before having to leave for work, no matter how much his cock throbbed.

She just watches him, holding his torment in the palm of her hand as if it and him was something precious and when she reached up and pressed her lips against his was the sweetest kiss he had ever experienced in his life. And despite his instincts and need goading him to deepen the kiss, to turn it heated and desperate, he matched the softness of her lips.

It left him breathless and dizzy, with the way the gentleness made his head spin and he had to rest his forehead against hers and wait for the world to return right side up.

“I can call in sick.” His offer was given in complete seriousness so he was surprised when she giggled. Not angry, just surprised.

“No, I won’t have that on my conscience. But if you need food I have some leftovers we could share before you head out. If you want too.” He sucked in a breath as he watched her. When he saw the blush spreading from her cheek and down her neck he knew that she wanted him to leave just as little as he wanted to go.

“I’ll just run upstairs, shower and change and then I’ll be back. Does that work?” he asked and she nodded happily. Another giggle came when he couldn’t resist pressing a hot and fast kiss on her lips before darting out of her apartment.

Sandor had never been late a day of his life. But as he jumped out of his truck twenty minutes after he was supposed to be at work he couldn’t even feel bad about it. The only thing he felt bad about was that he had to work a full night at this shithole instead of spending the night making his little bird screaming and moaning his name.

_ Don’t fucking go there. Can’t go into work being fucking half-hard. _

His hair was still damp from the quickest shower of his life, but his stomach was full from that amazing casserole they had shared, sitting at her breakfast isle eating right out of the dish.

He couldn’t fucking believe his luck to have been allowed to even touch a woman like Sansa, let alone hold her and kiss her. But what amazed him the most was that despite spending the whole day with him she had wanted him to stay. Had offered to share her food with him just so that they could spend a few more minutes together. And while eating she had held his free hand in her own and when he was about to leave she had grabbed him and kissed him until he couldn’t think straight.

_ I’m done in. This is it. _

He had never wanted someone the way he wanted Sansa. It felt as if his whole body was screaming for her touch. He wanted her so badly it fucking hurt. But not just her body, no what intrigued him most was her fucking mind. When had he ever thought of a woman that way before?

“Where the fuck have you been?” Bronn hissed when Sandor came in to the club through the back door. “The bitch is on a fucking rampage tonight.”

“I don’t give a shit,” Sandor answered truthfully just as the bitch in question stepped out of the manager’s office.

Cersei Lannister was a right bitch, in Sandor’s opinion. Always thought herself above every one and expected her every word to be taken as a fucking order, despite the club actually being owned by her younger brother. He knew that most of the guys on security thought her fuckable with her long golden hair, green eyes and curvy figure. But all Sandor saw when he looked at her was the permanent scowl of her mouth and the angry glare in her eyes. She was nowhere near Sansa’s league. Sansa was pure beauty, her eyes the same shade as the sky on a summer day. And her fucking hair, the only fire he had ever been intrigued by. Her pale skin dotted with freckles that he wanted to trace both with his fingers and his tongue.

_ Fuck, now I’m thinking about her again. I need to get myself in check. _

As Cersei looked at him she must have seen something unusual in his face because she flinched, taken aback before schooling her face into that bitchy scowl of hers.

“Where have you been?” Cersei asked with a hard angry tone to her voice that Sandor knew she used to intimidate her staff. He had to bite his cheek not to scoff in her face, as if she could intimidate him with her little fits.

“Car trouble.” His response came out with a gruff rasp accompanied with a shrug of indifference. He could tell by the he raised eyebrow that she didn’t believe him but he didn’t fucking care.

What he had with Sansa was none of their business and he wasn’t about to blab about it as his workplace.

“I need to see you in my office,” Cersei said after a moment, probably deciding against questioning him. Just like he knew her well she knew him enough to know that there was no point in trying to get information from him that he wasn’t willing to give.

With a nod of his head she turned around and he followed her into the office. She called it hers but just like this club it belonged to Tyrion. She had taken on the role of acting manager while her brother was away on his honeymoon. He had been gone way too long in everyone’s opinion. In an attempted power move she sat down behind the desk, giving him a stern look. Sandor only crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her expectantly.

“We had to let Selmy go,” she stated matter of factly. That made Sandor scoff darkly. He already knew that was coming, he had been there last night after all. He had told Selmy that she wouldn’t take him throwing out her kid well.

Selmy hadn’t cared, stating that the spoiled brat wasn’t going to get away with snorting blow openly with his friends at one of the tables. The prick thought himself untouchable since it was his uncle’s club, but they all knew that if Tyrion had been there he would have thrown him out himself. Sandor had followed the head of security’s orders and helped throw the fucking cunts out on their asses. Joffrey, Cersei’s little prick of a son, had been livid and screaming bloody murder about how he was gonna fuck them all up.

Just thinking about it made him want to clench his fist and drive it into that brats face, but just like last night he controlled himself and showed no emotion as he stared Cersei down.

“We need a new head of security.” Cersei was looking at him expectantly but he just kept staring at her. Hoping she’d just get to the fucking point already so that he could get to fucking work. “I’m offering you the position.”

He had seen it coming as soon as she confirmed the fate of Selmy but it still made Sandor pause. Did he really want the responsibility of a whole security team, making schedules and be the one to make all of the decisions? The best part of this sorry job was that when he was done for the day he could just go home and not have to think about it until the next night.

But being in charge would when better money and he wouldn’t have to take any orders from someone else. He might even be able to have some free time. He hadn’t really cared about that before but now the idea was tempting.

_ It would mean more time with Sansa. _

“I want the same pay Selmy had. And every other weekend off as well as my usual wednesdays.” He kept his face completely void of emotion but he registered the surprise in Cersei’s. He wondered if she was going to argue about the pay, they both knew he was worth it.

“Why would you want free time? All you do is work.” she asked and he bristled at that. He hated how she acted as if she knew him, she didn’t know shit.

“That’s my fucking business.” His voice was a low growl laced with warning and she held up her hand in a sign of backing down. “Those are my terms, take it or leave it.”

“Fine. Fine. That’s all fair demands,” she stated with a sigh. “I’ll have it all drawn up in a new contract and have it for you to sign later tonight.”

He nodded at that, silently pleased that she hadn’t tried to push. He didn’t want the job enough to have to fight for it. He knew he was good at what he did and that was only partly because of the way he looked. It was because he didn’t take any shit, he wasn’t intimidated by anyone and the other bouncers followed his lead.

“Next weekend will the one I have off,” he said before walking out of the door and onto the night club floor. The place was just about done with preparing for the first crowd that showed up around 10 and he knew that there wasn’t anything needed of him as a boss tonight. So he leaned against the farthest wall from the door and pulled out his phone.

He contemplated sending Sansa a text but wouldn’t that seem to needy? What the fuck did he care about being needy? He just wanted to talk to her. It was a strange sensation, longing to hear from someone that you had just been with.

_ Will I ever get used to this fucking feeling? _

Before he could talk himself into a decision his phone dinged. It was a notification from Instagram, an app he barely ever used. He had never even posted anything, his profile picture was that of a snarling hound, not wanting to show his face for the world to see. So to see the notification that stated that a user with the name SanStark had tagged him in a picture made his stomach drop.

He quickly opened the app and his scowl turned into a small smile. The picture was of the bookcase and he noticed that she had added a few nicknacks and a picture frame since he left.

_ What is it with this girl and pictures? _

His smile widened to an out right grin when he read the caption of the picture.

_ It is all coming together. Thank you @SClegane for your help. I don’t know what I’d do without you! _

Was he crazy to think that she meant more than just with the bookcase? Why was his heart beating so fucking fast in his chest? Too tempted not to, he checked out her other posts. Some were pictures of her with friends or maybe family. There was also a lot of pictures of the outdoors and some of her new apartment. She even had a few of those selfies, that he usually thought was a sign of being self absorbed, but right now he liked that it made him able to see her in all her smiling glory.

_ Fuck she is beautiful. _

He was too close to writing a response on her post but he didn’t need the people following her to see what he wanted to be private. So instead he brought up his messages.

**Sandor: Bookshelf looks good, little bird. No need to thank me like that though.**

He didn’t even have enough time to put his phone back into his pocket before she responded.

**Sansa: I give credit where it’s due. That’s the way I was brought up.**

**Sansa: Aren’t you supposed to be working? ;)**

There was a heat on his cheek from being teased, but it wasn’t a blush, no fucking way. He didn’t fucking blush.

**Sandor: Things are a little slow right now. What are you up to?**

**Sansa: I’m just in my pj’s on the couch watching The Princess Bride and eating the rest of the brownies. An almost perfect saturday night.**

He smiled again when he saw the picture she sent, it was of herself in a big burly sweater holding a brownie to her mouth with a cheeky grin. He was blindsided by the sudden desire to be  _ there _ with her. Even if it was just snuggling on the couch watching some romantic drivel.

**Sandor: Sounds perfect to me.**

**Sansa: It would be, if you were here.**

He almost dropped the phone onto the hard floor when he read her reply. He managed to catch it and held it to his chest, feeling suddenly breathless. She was being very clear and honest about what she wanted. It was fucking brave of her and he wasn’t going to be a fucking coward in comparrison.

**Sandor: What are your plans for next saturday? I happen to have the weekend off.**

**Sansa: Unfortunately I have a date.**

Sandor felt as if his heart was pulled out through his throat, making it hard to breath. What the fuck was happening to him? He saw that she sent another message but the anger that flared in his chest made his vision blurred.

Why had she fucking kissed him like that if she had a date with another man just next week? There might be a rational explanation, he hadn’t known that today would lead to kissing, so why she?

Maybe it was that pretty faced man from the other night? If Sandor saw him again he might just strangle the asshole.

His phone dinged again and he took a deep breath before looking down at the phone that he was clutching too hard in his hand.

**Sansa: You might know him? He lives in the building. He’s this big strong silent type, but really sweet when you get to know him.**

**Sansa: Really good kisser too ;)**

His breath stuttered out and he shook his head slowly to clear away the reminder of the anger.

**Sandor: You’re evil, little bird.**

**Sansa: Consider it payback for your pretend allergy attack.**

Her response made him laugh out loud, drawing the surprised attention of his coworkers. With his usual swagger and a raised eyebrow Bronn walked over to him and Sandor quickly pocketed his phone when the other man tried to catch a glimpse of the screen.

“What ya doin’?” Bronn asked innocently and Sandor gave him one of his scarier looks of murderous intent that usually scared people enough to shit their pants. But the idiot still remained by his side, smiling that stupid grin of his.

“Fuck off.” The words had barely left his mouth before Bronn held up his own phone with a smirk.

“That smile of yours wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain SanStark would it?” If his previous look had been of murderous intent this one would have had Bronn drop dead in an instance. “Had you forgotten that I am one of the two people, now three, that actually follow your instagram?”

“What the fuck do you want Bronn?” Sandor hissed and Bronn’s smirk widened.

“Oh, I’m just surprised someone as pretty as her would want to spend time with a grumpy ass like yourself,” Bronn teased. Normally Sandor wouldn’t have even blinked an eye at his coworkers comment but now it made his glare turn into a frown.

“Fuck you.” The lack of heat in Sandor’s voice was probably what tipped off Bronn on the fact that he had struck a nerve. He could see on Bronn’s face that he was surprised and trying to figure out what to say. But Sandor didn’t want to give him a chance to say anything, so he hurried off to the other side of the club, busying himself with carrying some kegs over to the bar.

Everybody stared as if he had grown a second head, which he might as well have. He never helped with anything that he didn’t get paid for. But he ignored their glares and soon the place was so crowded with people that everyone was busy.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and with the excuse of having to take a piss he went into the back to fish it out of his pocket.

**Sansa: You can say no. But if you want to come over after work I could leave my door unlocked for you.**

He was surprised at the sudden anger that flared up within him as he read her words. There was no way that she could be that naive. Did she know nothing about keeping herself fucking safe?

_ Fucking stupid girl! _

**Sandor: This isn’t the fucking north. Always lock your fucking door!**

**Sansa: It’s not a big deal Sandor.**

**Sandor: Lock the fucking door! Promise me.**

**Sansa: Alright, it’s locked.**

As he took a few deep breaths to calm the raising of his heart he knew he had gone about it the wrong way. He didn’t see himself in the wrong for telling her to lock her door, she should know better than to leave it unlocked. The world was a shit place, unsafe and to be trusting meant getting hurt or worse.

He might have been a bit harsh in going about it, and for one of the few times in his life he regretted letting his temper get the better of him.

**Sandor: Thank you, little bird.**

There was no response but Sandor couldn’t blame her. He just hoped that she wasn’t too upset with him. The mere thought of it made his stomach churn uncomfortably. With a shake of his head he tried to rid himself of the emotions that had just coursed through him. He needed to have a clear head if he was going to be able to do his job properly. 

It was almost 5 am by the time he got to his building. He felt worn out to the bone. It was both a physical exhaustion as well as a mental one. There had been several altercations with fucking drug dealers at the club, more than usual and Sandor suspected it had to do with Joffrey’s fucking precense.

He found himself stopping on the second landing, staring at Sansa’s apartment door. A part of him wanted to try and open it, to see if she had done what he told her too. Another unfamiliar part of him wanted to do it in the hopes of finding the door unlocked. Just so that he could crawl into bed with her. He didn’t even want to do anything sexual, it was just the simple thought of sleeping with her in his arms that tempted him.

_ I’ve never cuddle anyone my whole bloody life.  _

“Get a fucking grip, you cunt,” he told himself harshly as he continued up to his own apartment. He was just going to fall face first into his bed and sleep until noon.

As he stepped inside his door there was a crunching sound beneath his feet. With a frown he turned on his hallway light and lifted his foot. There, on his doormat, was a white envelope. No name or address on it and it obviously had been pushed in beneath his door since they had mailboxes down in the entryway.

When he opened it he found a pink post it note and a key.

_ This is my spare key. The door IS locked. Sansa _

Maybe he should have felt elated, that was as clear of an invitation that he had ever been given. It made it obvious that she wanted him to come over right now, otherwise she would have waited until morning. But as he held the key in the palm of his hand it wasn’t elation he felt. He felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by how badly he wanted to go down and just hold her through the last hours of the early morning. Overwhelmed by how she seemed to feel the same. Because it was never that easy for him. No fucking way.

He had never had anything going smoothly so why the fuck would this? It shouldn’t, he shouldn’t be feeling things for a woman he barely knew. And she should definitely not be having feelings for someone like him. Just because they had shared a good day she had gotten some school girl crush on him.

_ Don’t fucking kid yourself, it had been an amazing day. And you’re the one who can’t get her out of your head. _

He was tired, overwhelmed and scared. Not that he’d admit that outloud. But he was, he was scared of the fact that he wanted her as badly as he did. She had gotten this power over him that he had never relinquished to anyone before. He had given her power over his heart and the unfamiliarity of it scared him.

When his heart told him to run downstairs and hold her through the night he fought it and threw himself on his own bed. He needed to calm himself down or else he’d scare her away. And that was what scared him the most. That gnawing fear of losing her, when she wasn’t even his yet.

_ Yet? _

He was too tired to let his mind go down that road and within seconds of shedding his clothes, his eyes closed and he was asleep.


	8. Making plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They where supposed to go on a date on Saturday. Weren't they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
Here is another chapter - I really hope you like it.
> 
> It's my brand of mush and fluff ;)

When Sansa woke up she admittedly was disappointed to realise that Sandor wasn’t there with her. But she understood that he might have thought it too much to soon. In the light of day, with a good night's sleep, she could see that she might have been a bit high on endorphins from their kissing and had been a lot more forward than she’d normally feel comfortable with.

But that was the thing though, wasn’t it? She felt so comfortable with Sandor, in the sense that she felt that there was nothing wrong with her showing him how much she wanted him. That there was nothing wrong with being forward. She had a feeling that with Sandor she had to be the one to move things forward, that she had to be apparent about what she wanted. That he’d not dare to do so himself, but hopefully happy to follow her lead.

As she poured herself a cup of coffee and put a piece of bread in her toaster she pondered texting him to invite him for breakfast. With a frown she put her phone in a kitchen drawer to keep herself away from temptation. Even she knew that inviting someone again that soon after having him reject her previous one was more than a little desperate. Besides, it was only nine o’clock on a sunday. He had been working all night, so he was probably out cold anyway.

It wasn’t his fault that he had kissed her senseless and then left her with this aching need that seemed to only grow stronger, making her mind wander towards thinking about him every few minutes.

_ Okay, maybe it was a little bit his fault. Not that I minded it at the time. Still don’t. _

She needed a distraction, she needed to occupy herself somehow. She had been meaning to see if she could find herself a gym nearby. And since it was a sunny day, taking a walk around the neighborhood seemed like an excellent idea.

Taking a walk had been just the right idea, she had found a gym just a few blocks from her building that seemed great. It was privately owned, not one of those from a multiple chain and Sansa had liked the woman behind the counter. She had been friendly and despite her being tall and muscular Sansa had not felt in the least bit intimidated. Sansa had been thrilled that they had an instructor that held aerobics and zumba lessons as well as a yoga instructor. That was the type of exercises she prefered, she wasn’t much for machines or pumping iron. She had signed up for the zumba class held the next afternoon, thrilled that she’d get back into her old routines from before the move. Maybe she’d get Margaery to join her in one of the classes.

The only downside was that it was located on the same street as a bakery that had too many mouthwatering treats on display in their window. Which was the reason for Sansa carrying a lemon cheesecake with her home, as well as a bag of still warm cinnamon rolls, her mouth watering just thinking about how they had smelled as the owner had taken the tray out of the oven.

She was struggling with trying to open the door to her building when the door suddenly was pushed out, almost knocking the cake box out of her hand. She gasped and scrambled, managing to balance it again.

“Shit, sorry,” a voice called out and the way her heart fluttered from the sound of his voice made her blush. “Oh.”

When she was sure that she had a good grip on the box again she lifted her head and smiled at Sandor. Her first instinct was to stand on her toes and kiss him, just because she really wanted to. But then she noticed the look on his face. He watched her wide-eyed, with a worried frown that made her hesitate. So she settled for making her smile wider.

“No worries. It’s all good. I managed to save the cake.” She kept her voice light and friendly, hoping that he would look less uncomfortable but for some reason she didn’t understand his frown deepened.

“You celebrating something?” he asked in that gruff voice she remembered from the first time she met him. It sent a wave of shivers down her spine, flashes of the night before suddenly going off in her head like fireworks.

“Oh yeah. I just found a gym just a few blocks down that I really like. It’s really close to a bakery though and I just couldn’t help myself. So I’m not sure how that’s gonna pan out with my goal to live a little healthier,” with a grin she held out the bag of cinnamon rolls towards him and she wanted to squeal triumphantly when she saw the burned side of his mouth twitch. She knew that was a sign of him trying to fight a smile.

“You’re just gonna have to work twice as hard. By the smell of those cinnamon rolls I think it will be worth it.” There was that glint in his eyes again and now she really wanted to kiss him. He hadn’t minded last night, but that had been in private. She couldn’t help but feel a little worried that Sandor might not appreciate public displays of affection.

To test the waters she took a step closer and bit her lip to keep from grinning when she saw the slow bob of his adams apple. He was clearly affected by her proximity, that was a good sign.

“Are we still on for that date on saturday?” She tried to sound casual, hoping that she did a convincing job. His eyebrow rose as he leaned his head down to look at her with those grey eyes fixated on hers.

“You… you still want to?” he sounded unsure and now she knew she really wanted to kiss him. Partly just because she suspected it would made him sputter and grunt, it would be both hilarious and sweet.

“Of course.” With a smile she reached up on her toes and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, the feeling of his beard tickled her lip deliciously. “Just let me know when and where and I’ll be there.”

When she took a step back she heard the breath Sandor release and to her satisfaction she watched as he lifted his hand to touch the spot she had just kissed. His eyes were wide in wonder and she probably looked stupidly happy with a wide grin on her face but she didn’t care. She wanted him to know that he made her happy.

“Have a cinnamon roll,” she offered and he took one without protest. She gave him one last smile before moving past him and headed up the stairs. She was terribly tempted to look over her shoulder to see if he was watching her but she forced herself to keep walking. 

_ I don’t need to check. I know he likes me. _

The week rolled by, everyday filled with work but she didn’t hear anything from Sandor. When friday came around she was starting to feel a little worried. Margaery, ever the good friend, could sense her worry and took her out for lunch.

“So… still nothing?” Her friend asked as soon as they had sat down at a table. That was one thing that she had always liked about Margaery, she always went straight for the point.

“No, I mean I’ve seen him around the building but always very briefly. He always wave or nod but not much else,” Sansa admitted.

“And you haven’t texted him yourself because…?” Margaery looked at her expectantly and she sighed.

“I don’t want to be too needy or pushy. I’ve been the one to initiate everything so far,” she admitted and Margaery gave her a soft smile.

“Except for this date.” Sansa shrugged but it was the truth. He was the one who had asked about her plans. “And if he can’t handle a strong woman who knows what she wants he’s just stupid. I mean, what man wouldn’t fall to his knees over the fact that a woman like you want him?”

_ Sandor Clegane apparently. _

She was just about to put her things in her bag and head home for the day when her phone beeped on her desk. Before she had a chance to even look at her phone she saw Margaery’s head pop up from her desk.

“Is it him?” she called out over the open landscape and Sansa blushed to her roots when their coworkers all turned to look at her.

“I don’t know, I haven’t checked,” she called back and Margaery gave her a stern glare. With a sigh she picked up the phone. The smile that split her face must have been answer enough because she could hear Margaery practically jump of her chair and run over to Sansa’s desk.

“What is he saying?” she asked excitedly but Sansa pressed the phone close to her chest. She wanted to keep the conversation private. Margaery seemed to take the hint as she huffed but returned to her own desk. “I’m expecting a full report.”

With a flush to her cheeks Sansa sat down on her chair and grinned down at the phone.

**Sandor: I know we said we’d go out tomorrow but I got nothing.**

**Sandor: I’ve really been trying to figure out what to do but everything I come up with seems super cheesy. Or fucking expensive.**

**Sansa: Don’t think so hard. If we could do anything, what would you want to do? And why?**

**Sandor: Honestly? Food and hanging out. Food because you need to eat and hanging out because I like hanging out with you.**

Sansa was glad that Margaery couldn’t see her from where she was sitting and if it wasn’t for the fact that her closest work neighbours hadn’t left yet she would have spun on her chair around and giggled with glee.

_Whatever. Let them see._

Gilly’s bubbly laugh mingled with Sansa’s as she watched her spin several turns on her chair. Sansa grinned at her before returning her attention to her phone.

**Sansa: Sounds perfect to me. Want to make dinner together? At your place or mine?**

**Sandor: How about lunch? I’ll get all the ingredients. Your place? It is nicer than mine.**

**Sansa: Perfect.**

She thought she’d feel nervous while waiting for Sandor to knock on her door. But the feeling that filled her was excitement. Such intense excitement that she was rocking on her feet.

_ I can’t remember ever feeling this excited about a date before. _

When the heavy knock came she practically yanked the door open, revealing Sandor standing on the other side. He was dressed casually in dark jeans and a deep green henley shirt that hugged his strong form.

_ Gods, those shoulders. And arms. And chest. And... _

“Hey,” he said hesitantly and she realised that she had been staring with her mouth open. With a heavy blush she smiled and took the two heavy bags from him and put them on her counter.

To her surprise she realised that he was still standing at her door, and she hurried back over to motion for him to enter. When he stepped inside and closed the door behind him he was so close that she could smell him. He smelled like soap and woods and she remembered how it had felt to have that scent envelope her as his arms held her close. How it had felt to have him kiss her and caress her.

This time he didn’t have to go to work, this time he didn’t have to leave. They had the whole day, they had all the time in the world.

When he looked down at her, his grey eyes heavy with something that made her breath hitch. He must have felt or heard her reaction because a smile tugged his lips upward, the motion tugging at her heart and her core.

_ Screw it. I know what I want. _

With a surprised grunt he caught her as she jumped up into his arms, wrapping her legs around his hips. She didn’t give him time to react before she pressed her lips against his and pushed her hands into his loose hair. He kissed her back and his tongue came out to trace her lower lip, pulling a moan out from her giving him full access to his mouth.

The kisses created an even more heated reaction in her then last time. Because now she knew that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. She knew that if she bit his lip it would draw out a growl from his throat. As he wrapped a strong arm around her thigh he freed up a hand that moved up to cup her neck, his hands reach so wide that he could stroke her jaw with the pad of his thumb.

“My bedroom is still down the hall.” She spoke the words in between kisses and moved her mouth across his jaw all the way over to his ear. She could feel him shiver and it made him smile against his skin. “Or we make lunch. It’s up to you.”

Her words made him pull his face back to look into her eyes. He was panting and his eyes were wild with the same lust she had raging inside of her. But for one instance the haze cleared and he looked at her as if she was the answer to every single question in the universe. With a sharp nod of his head he took a step inside but suddenly stopped and shifted her weight on his arm and she wrapped her legs and arms tighter around him when he suddenly leaned down.

“What are you doing?” she asked sounding breathless and he grumbled.

“Damn boots,” was all he said and as he struggled to remove them with just one hand she pressed her face to the side of his neck to suppress her laughter. She failed miserably but once he straightened he was laughing with her as he rushed down to her bedroom.

He hesitated just inside the doorway and she nipped at his neck to remind him why they were there. She could feel the shiver that went through him then and she repeated the action on another part of exposed skin but bit down a little harder, making him hiss.

He moved over to her bed and sat down on her yellow comforter, with her ending up in his lap and when his arm withdrew from beneath her ass she sank down and they both gasped when she pressed against his erection.

“Sansa.” Her name left his lips in nothing more than a whisper but the wonder in his voice made her smile and without a moment's hesitation, she grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head.

His eyes widened and moved over her exposed body slowly, as if he was taking it all in and his eyes were so heated that he might as well have been caressing her with how amazing it felt to have him admire her. His hand slowly moved up her side until they were carefully grazing the white lace trimmings of her bra.

While he was busy staring at her breasts her hands moved down his chest and slowly she pulled at his shirt. When he realised what she wanted, he raised his arms compliantly and as soon as the shirt was off she buried her hands into his chest hair.

He was so broad, his chest all hard muscled expanse and the hair that was spread across it and down across his abdomen was coarse and thick. But the best part was his shoulders and arms. There was hair there too but mostly it was just large muscles, his arms being broader than her thighs and hard beneath her hands as they explored him.

She could feel his eyes on her as she explored his chest with her hands but she couldn’t make herself look away from his body until his hand cupped her chin, tilting it up.

As soon as their eyes met their mouth was on each other. It was a heady push and pull of tongues and lips and she couldn’t help but rock herself against him as they kissed. There was a delicious friction as the only thing separating them was her thin underwear and his jeans. Her movement was halted by him grasping her hips firmly, holding her still against him. He was panting heavily and she whined at the lack of friction. When she tried to move again, his grip tightened with a growl that made her pull her head back and look at him.

“We don’t have to. We can stop.” His voice came out low and needy, as if he wanted the opposite and as she looked at him she could see that he was trying to read her face too. She saw the raw lust and need in his eyes, she found it again in his straining jaw and the fingers that seemed to be caressing her naked skin of their own accord as they held her hips still.

“We can. If that’s what you want,” she agreed as she moved her hands up to his shoulders. 

“What matters is what you want.” His voice had dropped another octave and the deep rumble of his chest where it was pressed against hers sent a heat down to her core that made her so wet that she flushed bright red, wondering if he could feel it even through his jeans.

She figured that since she was sitting in his lap in only her underwear it was obvious, but if he still wanted to check that this was what she wanted, needing the reassurance, the best approach was being honest. 

“I want this. I want you.” Her words were almost drowned by the loud groan he released before he pressed his mouth on hers in a wet hard kiss that made her whole body tingle. She had never known that kissing someone with a beard could cause such a sensation against her skin, the raspy scratch just added another layer of pleasure that she wanted to feel everywhere.

Thankfully he seemed to have the same idea because he gently turned and placed her on the bed. His eyes were burning as they moved all over her body, causing a wave of heat from her head to her toes. With a shaky breath she reached behind her and unclasped her bra. He sucked in a breath as she pulled it off herself and his large hands slowly moved upwards from their position on her hips. When they gently cupped her breast she gasped from the warmth his rough hands caused.

“Shit.” She couldn’t help but watch his face and the way his eyes were completely transfixed on his hands as he took one nipple between his forefinger and thumb, pulling slightly.

The overwhelming need to have him came surging back twice as hard and her hands deftly undid his belt buckle and popped the button. His hip surged forward when her fingers grazed his hard cock as she pulled his zipper down. She bit her lip when she noticed his reaction and hurriedly pushed his jeans down his hips. He reluctantly let go of her breasts in order to help with taking them off. He wore simple black boxers and he was straining against the fabric. The sheer size of him, both his body and the most intimate part of him, made her rub her thighs together in anticipation. His eyes jumped down to follow the motion and a low growl vibrated out of him.

He almost threw himself at her, catching his weight with his arms on each side of her head and she arched her back to meet him. When their naked chests pressed together, the scratch of his chest hair against her hard nipples made her moan. Her hands moved over his naked back and she raked her nails along the hard lines of muscles and found some scars that were large enough for her to wonder how he had gotten them.

With a thrust of his hips she was reminded that they now only had thin layers of fabric between them and she hated the distance. It was strange, this raw need that filled her. It was like nothing she had ever felt before and it made her a lot braver than she had ever been in a bedroom before. With a smile against his lips she wrapped her legs around his hips and used the element of surprise to push him over on his side. 

With a hand on his shoulder he understood what she wanted and laid down on his back. The way he looked up at her, as if he was going to implode from need, made her feel the sexiest she ever had in her life. With a small smile she pulled her underwear down and off before straddling him. He stared down at the dark red curls between her legs and then he surged up, taking her off guard as he took her head in his hands and kissed her senseless. She was a panting, heaving, gyrating mess against him as his mouth moved down her throat, nipping and sucking on her skin until he reached her breast. With a glance up at her he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked so firmly that she cried out when the sudden bolt of pleasure pushed away the sting. He traced the points of her spine with a heavy hand until it reached her bottom, squeezing the flesh in his hand as his mouth moved over to the other nipple.

She arched her back, pushing her breast firmer against his mouth and it made him suck harder and her hands tangled in his hair, keeping his head firmly against her chest.

“Oh god,” she moaned when his hips thrust upwards hitting her right on her clit, the friction so delicious that she ground down on him. The responding moan it drew from him made her push her hand between them, lifting her hips enough to be able to snake her hand into his underwear. He hissed when her hand closed around him and she could feel the beat of his pulse beneath the firmness of him.

“I need you,” she breathed out and his response was a deep grumbled noise in the back of his throat, that she could only describe as needy. Her free hand moved down to pull down his underwear and he lifted his hips to aid her. She moved off him and reached for her dresser drawer, in that time he had pulled his underwear off and tossed them aside as she came to sit across his hips again.

She opened the condom and slowly put it on him. He watched her hands with rapt attention as she touched him and then his eyes moved over to where she was practically soaking wet for him. His hand snaked down and he slid a long thick finger along her slit, making her throw her head back.

“I want to taste you,” he growled as he pressed an open mouthed wet kiss beneath her ear and she could have come from the sound of his voice alone.

“Next time,” she suggested as she used the head of his cock to repeat the motion of his finger.

“Next time?” she probably should have cared more about the surprise in his voice, as if he hadn’t expected there to be a next time. But she was too riled up, too occupied with the almost painful throbbing at her core, that she didn’t really register anything except for the way his eyes bore into hers as she slowly lowered herself down onto him.

He was big and thick, stretching her more than she had experienced before so she was only able to take half of him inside of her before she needed to stop. His grey eyes were blown wide and his breath came out in short breaths between clenched teeth. She could feel by the trembling of his hands on her and the slight jerkiness of his hips that he was struggling to control himself from thrusting up and pressing all of him inside of her.

“Sandor.” She moaned as she took one of his hands and pulled it up to her chest. With a dark gleam in his eyes he instantly twisted the nipple between his fingers. A sound that was a mix of pleasure and pain flew past her lips causing him to surge forward and kiss her so hard that she felt another surge of pleasure between her legs.

“San...sa” the way he dragged out her name in a pleasured moan made her press down firmly and there was a delicious burn as their pelvises pressed against each other. “Fuck. Fuck. Fu…”

The words died in his throat when she used her knees to slowly push herself up, pulling him halfway out of her, before she sat down firmly, taking all of him inside of her again. She repeated the motion as his large hands grasped her ass, using his strong arms to set an even harder pace that had her keening.

The only word she seemed able to push through the haze of her pleasure was his name and each time she gasped it, moaned it or screamed it, it caused him to thrust upwards when she thrust down. Every time hitting a sweet spot inside of her that had her pushing down so hard that he hissed.

It felt as if they were suspended in time and she couldn’t tell if they had been joined for minutes or hours but when the building sensation of white intense pleasure in her core exploded it was so intense and hard that it took her by surprise.

She could vaguely hear a shout but the pounding in her ears was so loud that she couldn’t make it out properly and then there was a deafening silence. She was slumped against Sandor, his strong arms around her body the only thing keeping them sitting up and she pressed her face against the frantic beat at his neck.

There was a whooshing exhale of air and then she was falling. She gasped as Sandor’s back hit the mattress and couldn’t hold in a giggle as she laid on top of him, their limbs twisted together in a sweaty delicious mess.

“What?” his voice sounded raspier and deeper as he spoke while his fingers drew lazy circles on her back.

“Nothing. Just…” She wasn’t sure how to explain that she was just happy, a part of her wondering if this had been as unexpected and intense for him as it had been for her. Yes, she had known that she was attracted to him, more than to anyone before. But she had never thought that moving into this building would lead to this.

She lifted her head to rest her chin on his chest and he tilted his head down so that they could look each other in the eye. She saw wonder and amazement in them and a warmth that matched her own. Without thinking she pressed a soft kiss on his chest, where his heart was, the action making him gasp. Realising the intimacy of the gesture she blushed heavily but didn’t look away from his intense gaze.

“Are you okay?” the worried tone in his voice was accompanied by a sudden frown and she lifted herself up so that she could move up until her face was hovering above his.

“More than okay.” She punctuated her words by pressing a soft kiss on the frown and then his lips. She could feel the tension in his body being released beneath her and his arms wrapped around her, pressing her into him. With a hum he deepened the kiss, and despite his tongue mingling with hers the kiss was soft and gentle.

It felt amazing laying there in his arms, like they were the pieces of a two-piece puzzle. So she was surprised when he pushed her off him to get out of bed. She was so shocked that she could only watch as he started collecting his clothes. It wasn’t until he started to put them on that she snapped.

“Will I even see you again?” He had his back to her so she couldn’t see his reaction on his face but she did see the way his shoulders stiffened. He slowly turned to face her and his eyes were dark, but not with lust this time. There was a sudden anger there.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean? You don’t want to see me again?” he asked, his voice a low growl.

“Of course I do!” she protested heatedly, feeling suddenly very aware that she was still completely naked while he was dressed. He frowned when she pulled the cover up to her chin. “You’re the one who was suddenly in such a hurry to leave.”

She could see the moment realisation hit him and with two long strides he was on the bed next to her. He tilted his head down to look at her and there was a moment of hesitation before he pressed a featherlight kiss on her forehead.

“I’m shite at this. I’ve only ever been with women who want me to leave their bed as soon as we’re done. I thought that maybe you felt that way too,” he explained with a sigh. His words made her frown and she felt hurt. Hurt that he had thought so little of her and hurt by the fact that maybe he was the one who wanted to leave.

“I want you to stay. But if this was all you wanted then I can’t…” he interrupted her when his hand grasped her chin and tilted it up to look at him.

“I want whatever it is that you are willing to give,” he said and that wasn’t really an answer in her book but she let it slide for now. She didn’t want to put him on the spot and define his intentions. Not when they had just had sex for the first time. She might have been the one to pursue him, rather boldly, but she wasn’t about to instigate _ that _conversation this early.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to act with this… us...” he admitted after a moment of silence between them.

“You’re supposed to cuddle,” she explained, making him frown. “It’s the best part.”

The deadpanned look he gave her made her chuckle and she saw the side of his mouth twitch in fighting a smile.

“Fine. The second best part,” she relented and opened her arms to him. “Come here and I’ll show you.”

When he slowly stood she tried to not let the disappointment she felt show on her face. She was probably doing a poor job of it, because it really hurt. She had thought he felt the connection between them as deeply as she did. What if he was only after no-strings attached sex? She wasn’t sure if she was okay with that, considering she was pretty sure she was already developing strong feelings for him.

Her breath hitched when he suddenly started pulling his clothes off again, throwing them haphazardly on the floor until he was standing in front of her in only his black boxers.

“Should I take these off too? To cuddle?” he asked shyly and she gave him a teasing smile before holding the covers out from her body in invitation.

“Seems it’s only fair,” she answered as his eyes darkened with lust as they took in her naked form.

“Only fair,” he nodded before quickly shoving the underwear down and off before crawling under the covers with her. She smiled softly when she noticed how hesitant he was, as if he was unsure what he was allowed to do. Or what he was allowed to touch.

“Just relax and hold me. If you want,” she suggested and he did just that. His big strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her tightly against his chest and she rested her forehead against the side of his throat.

She tried to pull her arms free from his strong arms, making him huff a laugh before easing up a little. She snaked her arm around his torso, resting her palm against his chest. When her fingers softly stroked through the thick hair there he made a sound that was a lot like purring. In a diesel engine kind of way, deep in his chest, the vibrations causing her to shiver deliciously.

“What’s the verdict?” she asked as she felt him relax, his hand stroking her back all the way from her neck and down to the curve of her ass and up again. The heavy feel of his gentle fingers made her feel cherished and desired all at once. It was an addictive feeling. 

The way he looked at her then was filled with such warmth and heat that she couldn’t keep a grin off her face. It drew a chuckle from him as he leaned his forehead against her temple. The intimacy of the moment made her heart flutter.

“It’s really nice,” he agreed in a soft low voice that sent another flutter through her heart. There was a surprised undertone in his voice that made her wonder if he had ever cuddled before. She didn’t ask because she didn’t want to put him on the spot. Instead she continued caressing his chest and enjoying the warmth and size of the man in her bed.

“So how long are we supposed to lie like this?” he asked after a moment, pulling a surprised laugh out of her mouth. She lifted her head enough to be able to look down at him and grinned when she saw the teasing smile on his lips.

“Tired of me already?” she teased and in response his hand moved down to grab her ass and squeeze it hard, making her bite her lip.

“Nah. Just wondering in case I need to get a backup desert.” His words caught her interest and as he continued to knead her butt she tried to focus on the topic at hand.

“You brought desert?” she asked and he nodded as his other hand moved up to tickle her side on it’s way towards her breast.

“Nothing fancy. Just a carton of Lemon Swirl ice cream,” he said shyly and she could feel the strain on her face that came with smiling too wide.

_ The sweetness of this big man will never cease to amaze me. _

“Just wondering how long it can sit on your counter before it starts melting…” The words had barely left his mouth before she jumped up out of his embrace and out of bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’m saving the ice cream!” she yelled over her shoulder as she ran naked into the kitchen. The loud booming sound of his laughter followed her and it felt almost as amazing as the fact that the ice cream hadn’t completely melted yet.

With a grin she returned to Sandor who was still on her bed. The sight of this big strong man sitting with his back against her white headboard with her lemon printed bedsheets around his hips made her so happy she wasn’t sure she had ever felt anything rivaling that moment.

“We’ll have to eat it right away,” she said as his eyes moved from the tip of her toes all over her naked form until they reached her face. The appreciative glint in his eyes made her feel strong and beautiful. Not even trying to cover herself up she moved over to sit on the bed next to him, holding out a spoon as well as the ice cream carton.

“Dessert before lunch?” he teased and she grinned as she took a big spoonful of the sour ice cream into her mouth.

“Don’t be such a stickler for the rules. Live a little Sandor Clegane,” she teased back and with a happy smile his spoon joined hers.

“I think I’ve just started.” He said it so low she wasn’t sure if he had meant for her to hear. But she did and it took all of her willpower not to throw herself at him again.

_ I already like him so much. Maybe that should make me scared or something. But it doesn’t. It makes me happy. _

She jumped a little when his cold lips pressed against the naked skin of her shoulder, making him chuckle against it. She turned her head to smile at him and caught him staring with this heavy heat in his eyes. His eyes caught hers and the warmth turned his eyes into a deeper grey.

“What?” she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper and he shrugged.

“Nothing.” But there was a smile tugging at his lips and she moved to press her lips against it, tasting the sour tang of the ice cream on his lips. The kiss was soft and gentle, everything he didn’t look to be but was.

“Are we gonna eat some real food anytime soon?” he asked when he broke the kiss and she nodded.

“Of course. I didn’t mean to force you into cuddling this long,” she said with a teasing glint. To her surprise he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. She smiled as he pressed her back to his chest and nuzzled her hair.

“Maybe we can wait a few minutes more.”

_ You sweet, sweet man. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay maybe not just mush and fluff... 🙈  
And yes, I totally have a thing for Sandor picking Sansa up or holding her in the air. He is just so strong...


	9. This view

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandor realises things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is just pure tooth rotting smut, literally.
> 
> I hope you like it thought ;)

When Sandor woke it took him a while to get his bearings. The first thing he realised was that he wasn’t in his own bed. The second was that he wasn’t alone in said bed.

As the memories of last night came back to him, he greeted the morning with a smile. When was the last time that fucking happened? What else could he do as he remembered how Sansa had practicly jumped him and then after the most mind blowing sex of his life she had wanted him to stay. To cuddle right after and then to stay for the rest of the day.

He couldn’t recall ever having as much fun doing mundane everyday things, like making food or watching a movie. Fuck, he had been the one to pull her into his arms on the bed as they watched a movie on her laptop. He had cuddled _ her _ because he had wanted to and he had known that she would let him. That she had wanted him to.

He had been so reluctant to leave but too self conscious to say anything to her. She had probably been sick of him but when he had stated that it was time to leave she had suggested that he could stay, if he wanted to. She had said it so simply, like it wasn’t a big deal, but she had smiled at him in that way that made him think he could never deny her anything.

So here he was, waking up slowly in her bed after holding her close all night. They hadn’t even done anything sexual. They had just undressed, him into only his boxers and her into an oversized t-shirt and cuddle and talked until they fell asleep. The domesticity of that should probably intimidate him but it had just felt right. He felt fucking happy and he wasn’t going to question it.

He was lying on his back so he turned to his side to look at the woman next to him and he had to choke in a laugh. She was splayed on her stomach, arms out with one across his chest and her face facing him. Her red hair was a wild mess and her eyelids fluttered as she dreamt of something. He had thought her perfect from the first moment he met her and being able to see her like this made her seem somewhat more human to him. Having this private moment of watching her sleep was another side of her to care for. Not too many people got to see her this relaxed and his chest swelled with the fact that he was one of those people she trusted enough.

He wondered if she knew that she was the first person he had slept with, actually slept with, in years. He had never been one for relationships, or more like none of the woman he had gone home with had seemed to want to stay. He wasn’t sure if she knew or if she perhaps noticed how inexperienced he was in all this. It was new territory for him and he was grateful that she seemed so patient with him.

The sudden ringing of his phone pulled him from his line of thought and he quickly threw a hand out to the nightstand and grabbed it before it had a chance to wake Sansa.

“Yeah?” he answered gruffly, his voice even raspier from disuse.

“Eh… who is this?” the voice sounded like it belonged to a young guy and Sandor tried to remember if they had any new guys at work that could sound this young.

“You’re the one who called me. Who are you?” Sandor asked as movement next to him caught his eye. Sansa was slowly stirring, stretching as she woke and it was a very distracting sight.

“No I didn’t. I called my sister,” the young voice said and with horror Sandor pulled the phone from his ear and saw that not only was he holding Sansa’s phone, how he could he have missed her yellow phone case? He had fucking answered a facetime call. The kid on the other end of the line had wild curly reddish brown hair and a freckled face. His blue eyes were as wide as Sandor’s.

“Who the hell are you?” the kid, he had to be a fucking teenager, gave him an angry glare and with a hissed curse Sandor quickly disconnected the call and threw the phone down on the bed.

_ Shit, shit, shit. _

“Who was that?” Sansa asked sleepily and smiled at him. Her smile died when he stared at her, the horror on his face enough to make her sit up. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I thought it was mine,” he rambled out and as her face pulled into a confused frown the phone started ringing again. With wide eyes Sansa picked up it up and started laughing so hard she was shaking.

Sandor had no idea why she thought it was so funny. He had obviously answered a call from someone who had not expected to be faced with his ugly mug. But instead of being angry or embarrassed she was laughing, and not only that. Sandor could only watch as she accepted the facetime call, still laughing.

“Hey Ricky,” she answered and the kid was scowling as he took her in. Then his eyes moved over Sansa’s shoulder, where he must have been able to see Sandor because his eyes narrowed.

“Who is that?” he asked bitingly and Sandor tried to slide away, preferably out of her bed, but before he was able to Sansa wrapped herself around his arm and rested her head against his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare,” she whispered into his skin and Sandor gulped. His very naked skin that was now on full display for the kid to see.

“Ricky, this is Sandor,” she said casually as if it wasn’t a big deal at all, them both laying in her bed together early in the morning. “This is my baby brother Rickon.”

If Rickon had been glaring at him before, the look he gave him now was pure murder. It both terrified and amused Sandor. Terrified him because he had just been introduced to a family member, amused him because he looked like any other scrawny teenager but he obviously was protective of his sister.

“And what is he doing in your bed?” the kid had the nerve to ask and Sansa gave him a glare of scathing disapproval but the kid didn’t back down. He kept his eyes on Sandor, staring him down.

“Not that it’s any of your business Ricky, but you should be old enough for mom and dad to have had the talk about the birds and the bees so I shouldn’t have to explain that to you,” Sansa said calmly and Sandor wasn’t sure who was more shocked him or the kid. Rickon turned beet red as his eyes jumped between Sandor and Sansa. “I’m just teasing you Ricky.”

She then turned her head towards Sandor and moved up to press a gentle kiss against his cheek. The display of affection in front of her little brother made Sandor gulp as his heart jumped in his chest. It was too much too soon, showing this kind of intimacy in front of other people but fuck if it didn’t feel good. Great even to know that she wasn’t embarrassed of him.

“Was there a reason you called?” Sansa asked after a moment of silence and that seemed to pull the kid back from his embarrassment.

“Yeah. I have this book report and mom said maybe you could help me with it,” he said and Sansa nodded without a moment's hesitation.

_ It must be nice to have people that wouldn’t hesitate to help you. _

“When is it due?” she asked and the new blush on the kid’s cheek had Sandor biting his lip to keep from grinning.

“Tomorrow.” The groan that came from her had Sandor chuckeling and she swatted him lightly in response.

“Really Ricky? Why do you have to do everything at the last minute?” she asked and Sandor slowly disentangled himself from her. “Hold on a minute Rickon.”

She put the phone face down on the cover as she got to her knees to face Sandor as he got out the bed. She gave him an apologetic smile and reached out to take his hand in hers.

“I’m just gonna give him some pointers, it will only take a few minutes,” she said and he nodded. He wasn’t going to protest if she needed to help her brother out.

“If you want I could get started on breakfast,” he suggested and it was met with one of her big beaming smiles. He returned her smile as her free hand moved to grasp the back of his neck, pulling his face down towards hers.

“You are the best,” she said softly but determintly. As if she was expecting him to try and argue it and wanted to stop him from even trying. But he didn’t want to argue, he believed that she meant it. So he did what he wanted.

He pressed his mouth firmly against hers and with a groan she kissed him back and he was pretty sure this was the happiest he had ever been.

“I can still hear you!” a disgusted shout came from her phone, making them both laugh into each others mouth and he reluctantly let her go.

He was standing at the stove, plating up scrambled eggs and bacon, when she came out of the bedroom. He was happy to see that she was still only dressed in that oversized t-shirt and even if her hair looked a little less wild it was still hanging freely.

“It smells amazing,” she said happily as she accepted one of the plates and he couldn’t resist leaning down to press a quick kiss on her mouth. The widening of her eyes told him that he had caught her off guard but the smile she gave him as he pulled back showed her happiness over his action.

“I made coffee,” he said softly and if possible, her smile widened as she pulled cream out of her fridge. He shook his head as he watched her pour enough cream into her coffee to make it a pale brown but didn’t say anything. 

It was strange sitting in her kitchen having breakfast together. Or rather, it was strange how at ease he felt in this situation. How comfortable he was with the domesticity of it all, as if this was an everyday occurrence.

_ I want it to be. I really do. _

He didn’t say that though, instead he listened as she told him more about her family and especially about Rickon, the baby of the family. The were a big family and a closed knitted one. Which was what he had gathered.

“I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she suddenly said. The shy tone in her voice made him frown. “With Rickon I mean. I didn’t think about how you’d feel about me implying…”

His frown deepened as he tried to figure out what she meant by that. That she had implied that they had slept together? Was it really implying if it was the truth? They had slept together, both sexually and literally. Sure, he might not have expected her to tell her family about that but he wasn’t angry. Hell, he was amused.

By the way she was watching him nervously he had a feeling that  _ that  _ wasn’t was she was referring to.

“I wasn’t uncomfortable. Not because of that anyway,” he admitted with an attempt at a soft smile. “Just hadn’t planned on having one of your siblings seeing me in your bed like that.”

His words made her laugh and he was really pleased with himself for having calmed her nerves. Because he knew he could, because he knew she’d not only let him but maybe even like it, he reached out to rest his hand over hers on the table. With a happy smile she turned her hand over to entwine their fingers.

_ Shit, when have I ever been this eager to touch another person? _

“Well, fair warning. He’s gonna tell everyone about this. About us.” This must be what it felt like to have a heart attack. His chest was clutching painfully and he struggled to catch his breath.

_ Us? As in US? _

His shocked facial expression must have made her realise what she had said and with a gasp she pulled her hand away from his. He didn’t like that at all. He liked it even less when she looked down on her plate instead of looking at him.

“Is there an us? I mean… this wasn’t just a one time thing was it?” she asked and he had to bite his tongue before he accidentally let the words screaming in his head out.

_ This is a forever thing for me. _

It might be crazy or stupid, probably both, but he knew there was no going back for him. Sometime between her almost killing him with her cookies and her brother accidentally seeing them in bed together he had realised he wanted to be hers. It was strange really, that despite never having been in love he was so sure that that was where this was heading. At least for him.

“What do you want it to be?” he asked and she snapped her head up, eyes glaring at him.

“Don’t do that. Don’t turn it around on me. I asked you what you wanted,” she said sternly and he gulped. To give himself some time to think he took a big swig of coffee, the warmth of it somehow calming him a little.

“I want there to be an us,” he admitted in a low voice. He watched as the corners of her mouth was pulled up into a soft smile and he felt as if he could breathe again when she nodded.

“I want that too,” she admitted and he felt so lightheaded he might pass out.

_ She want me? Like that? To be hers? _

“Then there is,” he said and he was fucking proud of himself for being able to keep himself from sounding like a happy little boy with all the joy that was bouncing inside of him. He couldn’t control the happy grin that split his face though, and when she smiled just as big he didn’t want too.

This weekend was just full of first for him, he realised as he watched Sansa. They were strolling along the beach as the sun was setting. It had been her idea to drive down there for a swim. He had lived in this city for almost a decade and he had never been to the beach before, but thankfully he did own a pair of swim trunks. It had been strangely nice to swim and then bask in the sun, enjoying the last of the summer days they had left.

There were only a few people still around and most of them looked as if they were preparing to leave. But their presence didn’t bother him, because Sansa was holding his hands and walking by his side. And she was smiling so happily as she watched the waves roll in that he found himself smiling too.

When she turned her body away from his slightly he did something he had never done in all his life. He used his free hand to pull out his phone and took a picture just because he wanted to capture the moment. His first moment of feeling content. It was just a picture of her from behind, her red hair partly glowing from the setting sun and the beach and ocean in the background but it made him smile.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she turned back towards him. He suddenly felt shy but still showed her the picture on his phone. The happy smile she gave him was just as sweet as the gentle kiss that followed and he felt like a lovesick fool. But a happy one.

_ Who figured that he could turn into one of those stupidly happy people? All because of a woman. Yeah, lovesick is probably the right word for it. _

“Be sure to tag me in it if you post it anywhere,” she said casually as they continued walking and he frowned down at his phone. Why would he post it anywhere? He only had three people following him on instagram and one of them was her. Then it hit him that if he tagged her, her friends and family would be able to see it too.

Was that why she had said it? Did she want him to post it?

_ Fuck it, I can always take it down if I change my mind. _

It took him a minute to figure out how to do it but eventually the pictured was posted on his instagram with Sansa tagged in it. He had thought about captioning it but he wasn’t that much of a cunt. So he just thought it.

_ I’m in danger of getting used to this view. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if there will be another update before so just in case:
> 
> Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


	10. Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandor shows a new side of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! Happy new year!
> 
> I hope everyone that celebrate had a great Christmas and got to ring in the new year just how you wanted. In my case it was a miracle that I managed to stay up until midnight, having had the flue since the 26th. Yay when the kids and hubby get it too so you have to take turns in being sick and take care of the kids. 
> 
> Finally feeling better though so I finally got a chance to write some. This chapter is completely inspired by my pitiful state because I'd like to think we all deserve to have a man like Sandor to take care of us when we are sick.
> 
> Hope you guys like this brand of fluff!

She had only known him for a few weeks, but it could as well be months for how strongly Sandor had impacted her life. The rough, sometimes rude, honest to a fault man had started to make his way into her heart and she was happy.

She had been worried that with leaving her hometown and everyone she loved, she wouldn’t find her place in this new town. That this new start would be nothing close to the life she had, but thanks to him and the friends she had made things were looking up. Looking good.

“Shit, I thought I was going to die if Melisandre kept us in that damn pose one more second,” Margaery complained as they got out of the yoga studio and headed towards the gym’s locker room.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Sansa said with a smile. She liked yoga, she liked the stretch in her limbs and muscles but she also liked how it enabled her to clear her mind and just be in the moment.

“You are just a lot more limber than I am. I hope that man of yours knows how lucky he is,” Margaery said with a suggestive smirk, making Sansa throw her head back and laugh.

“Oh, I’m sure he does,” she said and felt her cheeks flush when she thought about how he had seemed very aware of how lucky he was. They hadn’t been able to spend many nights together in the past two week since he had to work every night, due to staff shortage, but the few stolen moments in between her coming home from work and him leaving would at least be enough for kissing and sharing a meal. One time they had skipped the meal and he had done what she had promised him he could do their next time. It had been amazing and she had wondered if that was what it felt like being worshipped. Or loved.

It was too soon to call what they shared that but it still lingered in her mind that maybe they had a chance of getting there. She knew she wanted to see if that was where this was going. She was grateful that they had talked after the call with Rickon, that she had the assurance that he felt the same way as her. She doubted she would have had the guts to bring it up otherwise, not for a while, and he most definitely wouldn’t have. That was just how he was, he was one for action not words.

She hadn’t been that happy with Rickon though, her little brother had been rude and she had lectured him thoroughly. She had been forced to lecture him again about the value of privacy when her mother had called her the next day asking her who her new “beau” was. She had only told her as much as she needed to know, that it was new but that she really liked him. She had grinned when she pictured the scoff Sandor would have given if he had heard himself being referred to as “her beau”.

“You seeing him tonight?” Margaery asked as they got out of the showers.

“He’s working tonight,” Sansa said but as she looked at the clock on the wall she realised there was still a little over two hours before Sandor had to leave for work. Maybe she would surprise him with some dinner.

That idea was quickly discarded when she came home and started to feel an ache deep in her bones. She knew it was more than just an ache from her workout and after laying down to rest for a minute, that ended up becoming an almost two hour long nap, she felt like death. Her throat was sore, her head throbbed and she started coughing hard enough that she thought she might cough up her lungs. She needed some aspirin, wanted some tea and maybe to have a long bath. But there was no way she was going to be able to get up from the couch when she was feeling this weak.

She realised that the sound that had woken her was the sound of knocking on her front door. The knocking became even more insistent when she groaned in response.

“Little bird? Sansa?” the sound of Sandor’s voice made her choke in a sob. It was so tempting to call out to him, to have him come and hold her. But she was also terrible self conscious about how she must look right now.

She felt disgusting, shivering and sweating at the same time, and she didn’t want him to see her like that. Maybe it was shallow or stupid, but their relationship was so new and she didn’t want him to see her like this. She wasn’t sure if she was going to answer him, since he was probably heading out to work, but just then a cough racked through her. It was a bad one that had her doubled over and tears welling in her eyes. 

“Sansa!” he sounded alarmed and she didn’t want him to worry.

“I’m okay,” she croaked out. She sounded utterly pitiful and unconvincing.

“Don’t sound okay. Can you get to the door?” he asked and she could tell by the steele tint in his voice that he wasn’t going to drop it. She managed to slowly make her way over to it, the strain of it making her shake.

“I’m really sick. You shouldn’t come in,” she said as she pressed her forehead against the blessedly cold surface of the door.

“I don’t give a shit about that. Just open up,” he said firmly and then she could hear him sigh. “Please?”

It was the please that got to her, the softness in his voice, that made her open the door. When he saw her he frowned and she tried to force out a small smile. It was obviously not convincing because he stepped inside and put the back of one of his large hands against her forehead. It felt cool to the touch in a way that had her leaning into it and almost moaning.

“Shit, little bird. You’re burning up.” Before she had a chance to say anything he swooped her up into his arms in a bridal cary and closed the door behind him with his foot. She couldn’t help but press her cheek against this chest, finding comfort in his closeness and his familiar scent.

With great care he put her down on the bed and carefully helped her lay down and then tucked her in under the covers. She hadn’t felt this taken cared of since she was younger and her mom had cared for her when she was sick. It made that strong sense of  _ something _ growing in her chest even stronger and it made her smile up at him.

She noticed the black shirt and blazer he was wearing and was reminded of the fact that he was going to work. It made her smile a little bit more to know that he had taken the time to check on her before leaving.

“Thank you,” she managed to croak out and he shook his head slightly.

“I’ll be right back,” he said with a soft kiss on her forehead. She could hear his muffled voice from the living room and she noticed that her phone was on the nightstand. She reached out for it and when she saw all the messages she smiled.

**Sandor: Hey little bird. How was your day?**

**Sandor: I miss you. Wanna have dinner before I go to work?**

**Sandor: Everything okay? You home safe?**

**Sandor: Is it alright if I come down? Just wanna check on you before I go.**

She had just put the phone away when Sandor returned. She noticed that he had removed his blazer and shirt, only wearing a black t-shirt. But most of all she noticed the mug in his one hand and the medicine in his other.

“Here,” he said softly and helped her sit up against the headboard before giving her the cup. “It’s lemon and ginger tea with some honey.”

It felt more like heaven then lemons as it went down her sore throat and if she didn’t think he would get sick from it she would have kissed him.

“Do you need anything else?” he asked softly as he stroked her hair away from her face. It was amazing to her that someone who had seemed so uncomfortable with touch and affection to begin with was so loving with her.

_ Only with me. _

It was a possessive thought that sent a warmth through her and made her cheeks flush, but he probably thought the redness was due to her fever. So at least that was a perk in this situation. She felt strangely proud of her ability to always find a positive spin on most situations. Maybe she was sicker than she had thought, since she wasn't making any sense to herself right now. Instead of trying to deal with that thought, she focused her attention on Sandor.

“I’m okay, thank you,” she croaked out and took another big sip from the mug. “You should get going.”

“No. I’m not leaving you like this,” he said softly. “I’ve gotten someone to cover for me.”

She looked at him with surprise but he only shrugged and sat down at the foot of the bed. He looked suddenly unsure and she wished she had the strength to reach out and pull him to her.

“I’ve never done this before,” he said softly making her frown in confusion. “I’ve never had to take care of anyone but myself, so if I do something wrong, you tell me. Or if you need anything, you tell me.”

He said it with such determination that she couldn’t help but reach out her hand towards him. Thankfully he took her hand and understood that she wanted him closer. When he sat down next to her she leaned her head against his shoulder.

“I think you’re doing a great job. I’ve got everything I need right here.” She made sure to make her voice as soft and calming as possible as she entwined their fingers.

“You get some rest, I’m gonna get started on making some chicken soup,” he said softly and squeezed her hand back. “I’ll bring you a bowl in a little bit.”

“Thank you, Sandor,” she said softly and the smile he gave her made her feel better already.

That feeling didn't last because when she woke she was definitely feeling worse. The smell of soup made her stomach feel queasy but she knew she needed to eat. When she opened her eyes the bowl was right there on her nightstand and Sandor had pulled up a chair to her bedside.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Despite him trying to talk softly the sound of his voice made her head throb and she cringed. He gave her a soft look of understanding and then helped her sit up. She was embarrassed that she felt too weak to even feed herself but he didn’t seem to mind. He just fed her silently and once he had made her eat the whole plate he made her another cup of tea.

She felt sticky and grimy and she really wanted a bath. The mere thought of sinking her aching body into the warm water made her want to moan. Instead she turned her blue eyes on Sandor and remembered how he had told her to tell him if she wanted something. He could always just tell her no.

_ So far he hasn’t, but he could. _

“I’d really love to take a bath,” she said and he gave her one of those soft looks again.

“How about you rest for a little while and if you still feel like it when you wake up I’ll draw you one?” he suggested and with a happy sigh she laid down and took his large hand into both of hers.

“You’re really good at this, taking care of me,” she said softly and he shook his head. But his lips were on her forehead and his eyes incredibly soft as he sat back down, so maybe he believed her.

“You go to sleep now, little bird. I’ve got you.”

When she woke she felt safe and held. Sandor’s large frame was nestled into her back, his arm around her waist and that was all that she needed. He must have gotten tired himself because she could hear his steady heavy breathing as well as feel the slow rise of his chest. She squinted her eyes and noticed that the room was covered in darkness, the only light being the red numbers on her alarm clock which read 7 am.

_ I slept for almost 10 hours straight. _

She carefully turned around, into the solid warmth of Sandor’s naked chest and as her eyes adjusted to the dark she couldn’t help but smile. She had never seen Sandor asleep before, the times he had spent the night he had woken up before her, and to see him this relaxed made her chest grow warm. When her hand reached up to softly caress the burns on his cheek he grumbled in his sleep and pushed his head forward, pressing his face into her chest.

With a happy sigh she let him wrap himself around her and she held his head against her, softly caressing his hair and pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of his head.

He had stayed, taken care of her without her having to ask it of him and she knew that he was someone she always wanted in her life. She had barely had any time to get to know him yet every day it felt like she found out something new, something to make her want him more. How could no one ever had taken the time to get to know him beneath that rough exterior? How could they not have seen the kindness she had seen in his eyes the moment she had met him? Were people really that clueless or were they just too shallow to take a closer look at him?

_ They have no idea what they are missing. And they never will because he’s mine, all mine. _

She felt a movement of lips against the exposed skin of her collarbone and despite feeling like she was death rolled over it sent a shiver through her.

“Sansa.” Her name was a happy sigh from his lips and it had never sounded sweeter than then and there. A sleepy sound filled with such warmth that it made her yet again think of love, although she knew that it was far too soon for such feelings.

She pressed another kiss on his head and her hand made its way to the curve of his neck, caressing slowly down his shoulder and back. He grunted happily and pulled her even closer, making her groan from the pressure. He let up a little and she smiled into his hair as she rested her cheek against his head.

“How are you feeling?” his voice was a deep rasp, even more gravely with sleep and she had never heard a nicer sound.

“Like I’d really like a bath,” she answered which drew a deep chuckle from his chest, making them both shake a little.

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll make it happen,” he promised, sealing it with a soft kiss against her throat. She hummed happily as they enjoyed the closeness between them.

She wanted to protest when he finally pulled away, wanted to hold him close but she was too weak so she just watched him as he headed towards the bathroom. He was only in a pair of black boxers and her eyes roamed over his muscled back and legs, making her sigh.

_ If only I wasn’t sick, I’d keep him in bed all day. _

He was only gone a minute and then he swooped her up into his arms, making her giggle as he carried her into the bathroom. He was so gentle as he put her feet down on the floor, holding on to her until she had steadied herself. His large hands carefully grasped her large t-shirt and pulled it over her head. There was no heaviness of desire in his hands or eyes as he undressed her. There was only gentleness and care and when he helped her lower herself into the steaming water with a hand on her hip she could have cried from the relief it gave her stiff muscles.

She thought that might have distressed him so instead she smiled and leaned her head back. She heard the scoot of a chair against the tiled floor and then his large hands were in her hair. As he started washing her hair a tear did escape but either he didn’t notice or he didn’t want to distress her further because he didn’t say anything. She hadn't had anyone wash her hair since she was a child. The few boyfriends she had had before had never offered or seemed to find it appealing to show that kind of affection. Because that was what it was. Pure affection. Sandor wasn't doing it to get her to sleep with him or because she had made him. He did it because he wanted to help her when she was sick, to care for her when she was at a low point. That was the kind of man he was and her heart and eyes burned from the emotional surges his actions awakened in her.

He kept silent as he washed her hair and when she opened her eyes and tilted her head back to look at him she could put a word on what she was seeing in his eyes. It matched the feeling growing in her chest.

_ It looks a lot like falling in love. _

They spent the whole day in bed, so she kind of got her wish even if there was no strength in her for funny business. He seemed more than happy to just hold her and only leave the bed to make them some food or tea.

The next day she felt better and then she heard the wracking coughs coming from Sandor and found him on the floor in the bathroom. His face was pale and clammy, despite still only having on a pair of boxers he was covered in sweat.

“Oh Sandor,” she said apologetically as she felt his forehead and found him burning up. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, but that seemed to make him dizzy and he put his hand back down on the tiled floor and then he coughed so hard it made him heavy, very loudly, into the toilet. She used one of her scrunchies to tie his hair back from his face.

“Shit,” he sighed and the raspiness of his voice sounded almost painful. “I should go home.”

“The only place you’re going is to bed,” she said sternly and once he felt sure that he wasn’t going to have another coughing fit she helped him to bed. She gave him a soft smile when he scowled up at her. “I’m gonna make us some tea and toast.”

“Don’t want no fucking toast. And I don’t like bloody tea,” he complained and he both looked and sounded so pitiful that she almost wanted to let him get away with his surliness, but only almost.

“You’re gonna eat the toast and drink the tea. Because it will make you feel better,” she said sternly.

“You shouldn’t take care of me. You’re still sick.” She wasn’t sure why he was so unwilling to let her take care of him, he had taken care of her after all. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was more a matter of being vulnerable, of showing weakness. He had acted the same way at the hospital after all.

“I promise I’ll snuggle up in bed with you once I’ve gotten the toast and tea,” she said and that seemed to placate him enough to lean back against the pillows, as if in resignation to his fate.

She also brought back some water bottles as well as her laptop and he accepted his buttered toast without a complaint. The tea didn’t go over as easily though.

“It tastes like piss,” he whined but with one stern look from her he downed the whole thing and shuddered. “I can’t believe you like this.”

“I can’t believe you don’t,” she said back as slowly sipped her own tea. She couldn’t keep in a grin as she looked at him, his long dark hair gathered in a messy bun at the top of his head with her bright blue scrunchy. Despite looking sick and tired he was still so cute. He seemed to almost be able to hear what she was thinking because he frowned at her like she knew he would have done if she had said it out loud.

“I can take care of myself you know. I always have.” She hadn’t expected him to say anything about why he was so reluctant to let her care for him but she had suspected that it came from self perseverance.

“I know. But now you don’t have to,” she said softly. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and he pulled her into his with a sigh.

“I was just a kid last time someone took care of me like this.” He spoke barely above a whisper, his words mumbled into her hair and she held her breath in fear of missing a word. “She looked after me, nursed me after I got my burns…”

He trailed off, his grip on Sansa’s shoulder tightening and she wanted to give him some time to collect himself. Her hand moved up to rest against his chest and she could feel the frantic beating of his heart. Perhaps he wasn’t able to say anything else?

“Your mother?” she asked in a soft whisper.

“No. My mother died years before. I don’t remember her,” he said and she couldn’t help but press a soft kiss against his shoulder. “My sister, she took care of me. She was four years older than me. But then she died too.”

_ Oh no. No wonder he was so angry at the world. _

Sansa couldn’t keep in a gasp and turned her head to look up at him. He already had his face turned towards her and she felt her eyes water when she saw pain looking back at her in the form of grey eyes. She reached a hand up to cup his burnt cheek and with a sigh he leaned into the touch.

“I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it doesn’t mean much but…” she started but he cut her off by leaning down and pressing his lips against hers.

“From you it means everything,” he said softly and used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears she hadn’t realised had fallen. “My sister, I think she would have liked you.”

“If she’s anything like you I’m sure we would have become fast friends,” she said and was surprised when he chuckled.

“Nah, she was never a miserable fuck like me. She was the opposite. Always smiling, seeing the bright side of everything.” She frowned at his words and pressed a firm kiss against his lips to silence him.

“You are not a miserable f-word,” she said heatedly, giving him a stern look. “You are sweet, kind and caring.”

“You’re definitely the only one who thinks so,” he said softly and she smiled up at him. “Not that I care about anyone else’s opinion.”

“Only mine right?” he nodded with a slight smirk.

She came willingly when he laid down and pulled her half on top of him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and sighed, a content smile on his lips that she let wash over her as she fell asleep in his arms. 

_ I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of your heart if you let me. _


	11. An accidental declaration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandor ends up opening himself up to the people around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm so happy to have another chapter for you guys. Since this is technically my light fic that I write to cope with the other heavy or angsty I have got going on there is no solid plan. I just let the story and the characters take me where they want to go. And apparently Sandor wants to go to a hockey game, because I can't seem to write Sandor as anything but a hockey fan.
> 
> There is very little actual hockey in this chapter though but a lot of other things... I hope you enjoy!

“We going to the game tomorrow?” Sandor looked up at Bronn from where he was sitting at the bar, locking over fucking schedules. The work was easy enough but teadius. He didn’t like having to listen to people complain about needing a day off their regular schedule or not being happy with the hours he gave them.

Most of the time he just told them to shut up and get themselves a replacement if they didn’t want the work. Most of the time that worked. He knew some of the guys had complained about his “leadership style” to Tyrion once the cunt got his ass back into his office. It didn’t really matter to Sandor since he already knew Tyrion didn’t like him.

Tyrion had been furious when he had gotten back and found out that his idiot brother had left their bitch of a sister incharge. He had gotten even more livid when he found out that Selmy had been fired, he had made it obvious then that he thought Sandor wasn’t fit for the job as head of security. And just as Sandor had known that he would do, Tyrion had gone and seen Selmy and asked him to come back. But the old man had wanted nothing more to do with the Lannisters and Sandor couldn’t blame him. Until Tyrion found someone “better suited” Sandor had the gig. It had been about three months and so far Tyrion hadn’t found anyone.

“You hearing me?” Bronn said and Sandor sighed.

“No,” he answered and Bronn frowned. “No, we are not going to the game tomorrow.”

Sandor had had season tickets to all of the Kings home games for years, he had gotten two tickets so that he didn’t have to sit next to anyone. He could just sit at the aisle seat and not be too bothered by people staring. That was the good thing about hockey, it was captivating and people who were there didn’t focus too much on anything else. Ever since Bronn had found out about the tickets he had made a habit of coming with whenever he didn’t have any other plans.

Sandor found that he didn’t mind the company as much as he had expected, he figured it helped that Bronn always bought the beer and other condiments.

“Why not?” Bronn said confused and Sandor tried to fight a smile but failed miserably by the look on Bronn’s face. “Are you bringing someone else?”

“Yeah. I know someone who’s a big Direwolves fan and since the Kings are playing against them tomorrow, I asked them to come with.” Sandor knew that it was best to go with honesty even though he didn’t really want to share any of his private life at his workplace. The person he was here and the person he was with Sansa felt like two completely different people and he didn’t really like the idea of having them mixed together.

“Wait, is this the redhead? From your picture?” Bronn’s eyes widened in astonishment when Sandor didn’t immediately deny it and then his whole face turned it one of his signature grins. “So for your first date you’re taking her to a hockey game? At least tell me you’re taking her out for dinner as well.”

Sandor wondered if this really could count as their first date. They had spent weeks together now, late summer had turned into late fall and he realised he wasn’t sure if what they had done together counted as dates. There hadn’t been any fancy restaurants, no going to the movies or some shit like that. They hung out at her place most of the time. Maybe he should make more of an effort so that she really felt like they were dating.

They had said that they were together though, that they were an “us” so did they really need to do the whole wine-ing and dining thing? It struck him then that Sansa was probably used to those things, the finer things. It wasn’t really that surprising, what was however was that he wanted to give her those things. He wanted her to have everything that she wanted.

“Does it count as a first date if you’re already a couple?” Sandor heard himself asking and with a perplexed look on his face Bronn sat down heavily on the barstool next to Sandor’s.

“You’re telling me you’ve got a girlfriend and you didn’t tell me?” he said after a few seconds of silence and now Sandor was the perplexed one.

“Why should I? I didn’t think that you’d give a shit about that.” The look on Bronn’s face then was a mix between anger and hurt and now Sandor was really fucking confused.

“I’m your best friend. Of course I give a fuck,” he said low, his voice a gravely almost growl that had Sandor scoffing.

“You ain’t my best friend. You’re my least annoying coworker, at best.”

“Fuck you. I’m your fucking best friend.” Sandor tried really hard to keep the smile off his face but the petulant look on Bronn’s made it impossible. Still, he didn’t dignify Bronn’s whining with a response. After a long moment Bronn took Sandor’s lack of protest as the assent that it was. “Now tell me everything.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Sandor said with another scoff but he did pull his phone out of his pocket and opened up Sansa’s instagram. “Remember SanStark?”

“Of course I remember her! I mean, did you see the tits on…” The deep growl coming from deep within Sandor’s chest cut him off and probably saved his life. Didn’t matter if the man claimed to be his fucking best friend, if Bronn talked about  _ his _ Little Bird like that Sandor wouldn’t hesitate to punch his brains into mush. “I mean, sure.”

“She’s the Sansa who lives in my building. We’ve spent a lot of time together,” Sandor said and showed Bronn Sansa’s most recently uploaded pictures. Sandor had quickly learned that the reason Sansa had pictures all over her apartment was because she loved photography. 

She had this small old school looking camera that she took with her everywhere and despite him hating having his picture taken he had let her do it as much as she wanted to. He had even, very reluctantly, posed for selfies with her on several occasions. Just because it made her happy.

She had never uploaded a picture of his face to instagram, thankfully. But there was still a lot of pictures of him there. Like a picture of his hands around a coffee cup, another picture of one of his hand cupping her smaller one and the picture she had uploaded just last night was a picture of him from behind standing over the stove in her kitchen.

“He spoils me,” Bronn read the caption with a smirk that was followed by a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. With a snarl Sandor tried to snatch his phone back but Bronn spun on his chair, keeping the phone out of reach. “Why haven’t you uploaded any pictures of her or you guys on your instagram?”

“No one gives a fuck about what I post. Besides, that’s more her thing then mine,” Sandor said and that seemed to be a fair enough reason to Bronn.

_ You never know with this asshole. _

Just then his phone dinged and Bronn’s whole face lit up as he read the screen. Sandor snarled as he lunged at the other man, but Bronn only laughed as he handed the phone back to Sandor. His anger had his pulse racing but as soon as he saw Sansa’s message on his screen he felt the anger melt away like snow when the sun hits it. That was what she felt like, like his sun. Not that he was ever going to admit that to an asshole like Bronn, he’d never let him live it down.

**Sansa: Fair warning. I’m going to go all out tomorrow. Found my Direwolf gear.**

**Sandor: We’re gonna be sitting close to the Kings cheering section, so not sure how popular that will be. But go ahead.**

**Sansa: I’ll be fine. I can handle a few sore losers.**

Sandor couldn’t keep in his chuckle then but his attention was drawn away from the screen when Bronn rested a heavy hand on his shoulder.

“I’m damn happy for you man,” he said low and then his face turned as serious as Sandor had ever seen it. “Word of advice. If you love her you do what you gotta do to keep her. Put a ring on her finger or whatever it takes, don’t wait around for things to happen. Make it happen and don’t ever let her go.”

There was something so raw in Bronn’s usually blue joyous eyes then that his words struck a nerve right into Sandor. He should probably tell Bronn that it’s only been three months, it’s way too soon to talk about shit like love and forever. But he doesn’t. Because he knows that whatever it is he’s feeling, or starting to feel, is beyond anything he’s ever had before in his life. Never having felt love, he isn’t sure if that is what it is. But he knows that there is no way he’s ever going to want to go back to how it was before her. So he simply nods his head.

_ Yeah man. I won’t. _

* * *

She wasn’t fucking kidding when she said she was going all out. Sansa had opened the door with a wide grin on her face and it somehow kept growing in intensity as he took her in.

She was wearing grey jeans and boots, nothing out of the ordinary there. But she had on a Direwolves hockey jersey over her sweater and on her head was a black and grey knitted hat with the Direwolves logo on it. The scarf around her neck had the same pattern in smaller design all over it. She had even gone as far as painting a direwolf’s head on her fucking cheek.

_ How can you be real? How can you be mine? _

“Shit,” was all he managed to croak out and her eyes shone triumphantly over having surprised him. He himself was in a red game jersey underneath his black leather jacket.

“We need to get you a hat,” she said and he shook his head. “I think you’d look really cute in one of those knitted beanies.”

He wanted to protest, tell her there was no fucking way he was ever putting a fucking beaniehat on his head, but her words was followed by one of those sweet kisses that always rendered him speechless. So he resigned himself with the fact that before the puck hit the ice he’d be in a fucking beanie. And he’d be fucking happy.

He even smiled up at the damn phone when she asked him to take a selfie once they’d gotten to their seats. It was a small smile, barely there, but it wasn’t forced and when she showed him the picture he didn’t even focus on his scars. Instead it was how happy they looked that was the focus and when he shyly asked if she could send it to him she rewarded him with another one of those sweet kisses.

It was the most fun he had ever had at a game. Which was saying something since his team was down 3-1 by the third period. He knew it was all her. The way she looked jumping up and shouting encouragement at the players, the way she looked over at him and smiled when something made her happy. It felt like she wasn’t just a woman that he cared about, a woman that he wanted, but it felt like she was his best friend. Despite that Bronn had claimed the title the day before Sandor was pretty sure she held every title he could think off. It was strange how right that thought felt and he looked at her over his shoulder, which made her turn her head and press a gentle kiss to his lips.

The kiss only lasted a second before her attention returned to the ice but he kept his eyes on her for a few seconds longer and missed something that happened because suddenly a lot of people were standing up and screaming.

“Are you blind, ref?! That was obvious interference!” Sansa cried out as she jumped to her feet and every ounce of air wooshed out of his lungs as if he had been suckerpunched in the gut.

“Shit, I love you…” At first he didn’t realise that the words had slipped from his lips but once he did, it was as if the words were playing on repeat inside his head.

_ I love you. What else could this be if not love? I love you. _

It terrified him that he had let his guard down enough for this to happen. Not only had he let her in but he had let her consume him, wrapping himself in her because it made him feel complete. Because he finally felt something other than rage and anger and it was an addictive feeling, this happiness that she gave him so selflessly.

So it wasn’t that strange that it had become so much more for him, but it was still scary. Especially since he hadn’t had a chance to come to terms with it, with what he was feeling actually meant before he had stupidly blurbed it out at a fucking hockey game.

_ Maybe she didn’t hear. Maybe I can just pretend it never happened. _

Sandor knew he was kidding himself, he was far too observant to believe that she hadn’t heard him even in this noise. He could see it in the stiffening of her shoulders, in the way she hesitated to turn around, she had heard him. After a few seconds she turned and he held his breath.

_ She doesn’t feel the same and now I’ve ruined it. You fucking dumb dog. _

Her blue eyes were soft and hesitant as she sat down next to him, but she didn’t look away. He wondered if the terror he felt could be seen on his face. He released the breath he didn’t realise he had been holding when she cupped his face in her hands and pressed her lips against his. The kiss was soft, her lips warm and pliant beneath his and he allowed himself to let go of his fears long enough to enjoy the slow press of their mouths, just incase it was the last time.

_ No, don’t fucking go there. _

When she pulled back she gave him a gentle smile and took his hand in hers before she returned her attention to the game and he tried to do the same but he didn’t register anything that happened after that. Her hand felt so light and soft in his and he didn't want to ever let go.

_ She didn’t say it back. She didn’t say it back. _

The thought whirled in his mind over and over again as he let her lead him by the hand out of the stadium and into the parking garage. He just followed her lead silently until they were at the truck and he was forced to let go of her hand to get inside. As soon as they both closed the doors he took a deep breath.

“Can we pretend that never happened?” he asked as he grasped the wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. He couldn’t bear to look at her, he was too scared of what he might find looking back. What if there were pity in her eyes? He couldn’t bare if it was.

“Is that what you want?” she asked softly and he couldn’t keep in the angry scoff that followed her words.

What he wanted was to have a whole do-over of the last 24 hours. If he could, he wouldn’t have talked to Bronn and that cunt wouldn’t have messed with his head with all his shit about not letting her go. Maybe then he wouldn’t have realised what it was he was feeling so soon, maybe he wouldn’t have let it slip.

_ Maybe I’m just full of shit. _

“I… no. No point in doing something that won’t fucking work anyway,” he said angrily and he knew he was fucking this up to. She didn’t deserve his anger just because she didn’t feel the same way about him. He wasn’t even fucking angry with her, it was himself he was livid with. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you.”

“Sure sounds like it,” she said and he hated himself even more then. With a heavy sigh he turned sideways towards her and hesitantly reached out his hand palm up. He closed his eyes when he felt her place her hand in his as the relief washed over him.

“I just don’t know how to fucking do this. I sure as fuck didn’t plan on telling you  _ that  _ at a hockey game. Never thought I’d ever say it to anyone.” He felt her eyes boring into him and he reluctantly opened his eyes to meet them. The blue color was so intense up close and they shined with something that he wanted to think was at least strong affections towards him. Because if she didn’t feel  _ something  _ for him, then she wouldn’t fucking be here with him would she?

“I really care about you Sandor. I’m just worried that it’s so soon. We barely know each other.” It hurt, the sting reminded him of the sudden lashing of his father’s leather belt against his back. But this one was on the inside and the sting was so unexpected that it made him pull his hand back.

“Sandor…” he didn’t let her finish, instead he turned the ignition and put his focus on getting out of the parking garage.

“Let’s just get out of here.” In his peripheral vision, he could see her nodding and he was grateful for the silence. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to say anything that wouldn’t ruin this even more if she had been determined to talk.

He found comfort in the silence as they drove but by the time they were walking up the stairs to her apartment the silence had become deafening. He hadn’t made an attempt at taking her hand again and neither had she and the lack of contact affected him more than he had expected. He had never had the need for PDA before, always found it fucking annoying when people were kissing or being all lovey dovey in public but now that he was with Sansa he understood. How was he supposed to be able to keep from touching or kissing her once he knew she wanted him too?

_ She doesn’t want me to touch her now though, otherwise she would have taken my hand by now. _

He lingered in the hall while she opened her door and it caused her to turn her head and look at him. He could see the confusion on her face and her eyebrows were drawn in concern.

“Are you not coming inside?” she asked and he found it strange that she had said that they barely knew each other when she was able to read his mind like a fucking book. She knew him better than anyone and it scared the shit out of him. It scared the shit out of him that he had held out his heart, no matter if it was unintentional, and he had hoped beyond reason that she’d take it happily but she had hesitated and that hesitation spoke volumes.

_ Too late to protect it now. It belongs to her even if she doesn’t want it. _

“No, not tonight,” he said softly and allowed himself to press his lips against her forehead. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Like the coward he was he then turned and hurried up the stairs. He didn’t stop his hurried pace until he was inside his own apartment and sat down on his couch with a heavy sigh. He felt cold and lonely.

It was a strange thing to realise since he had always wanted to be alone, he had always been the kind of person to long to get home just so he could close the door on the world and be alone. But now he didn’t want to be alone. He still didn’t want to be part of this fucked up world, he just wanted her.

With a frustrated growl he pulled the beanie off his head and tossed it across the room. He stared at the offencive item for a long time before he dragged a heavy hand across his face. He wasn’t behaving rationally at all. Why had he been a dick to Sansa? She hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

“Fucked up asshole,” he told himself as he pulled out his phone wondering if she’d even pick up if he called her. He frowned as he saw the hours old notice that she had tagged him in a picture on instagram and with a heavy sigh he opened the app. Looking back at him was the picture they had taken earlier and the caption made him feel like a right asshole.

_ He might be a Kings fan but he’s my Kings fan. _

It already had a shit load of likes and he recognised some of the names of the comments as the names of her family members. Every single comment was positive, despite the fact that his face was on full display.

“I don’t fucking deserve her,” he hissed to himself and then he was on his feet and practicly running out the door. He had to make this right, he had to apologise for being an ass and hopefully she’d forgive him.

He had just gotten to the stairs when he heard hurried footsteps and saw the top of her fiery head until his eyes met hers. He took a step back to let her step into the hall and all the things he thought he should say was suddenly not in his head anymore. There was just one thought swirling in his head that had stolen everything else.

_ She didn’t say it back. I love her and she didn’t say it back. _

He felt the anger and hurt take charge and he wanted to rage and scream because that was fucking easier then standing here, his heart fucking exposed and rejected. But what the fuck had he expected? He was a scarred mother fucker with a bad temper and a negative disposition. Why in the hell would she ever love him?

He didn’t get a chance to say anything though, something he would be grateful for later.

“I’m gonna need you to listen to me now,” she said sternly and he could only nod. She took a deep fortifying breath and stared him down with heat in her eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was anger or something more mixed into her eyes but he kept quiet and waited. “You do not get to be pissy to me just because I didn’t say it back. I get that it hurts but I’m not gonna let myself be pressured into saying something as huge as that. I’ll say it when I’m ready.”

He still only managed to nod like a fucking bobblehead. He knew she was right and he knew he had acted immaturely but it still stung. It wasn’t an outright rejection of his feelings but it was confirmation that he cared a lot more than her and that was scary. If it was one thing Sandor hated it was feeling scared.

“I’m scared,” having his own thoughts coming out of her mouth made him startle and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I’m scared because this, you and me, is moving very fast and I feel like we are a lot closer than most people are after only three months together.”

She turned quiet as she stared at him and as he remained the same he could see the doubt starting to make its way onto her face but his throat felt too dry, his head still not coming up with the right words but he managed an affirmative grunt and thankfully it seemed to reassure her.

“I know that I’m falling for you. I’m just asking for you to be patient and let me say it when I’m ready to say it,” she said softly and he knew he should feel really happy about most of her words. She said she was falling for him. But the word that struck him the hardest, the word that got him to wrap his arms around her and pull her in close was simple. Simple, but full of so much hope for the future that he found himself smiling down at her.

_ When. _

He was shit with words, still unable to put what was going through his head and heart into them, so he decided to show her instead. The kiss he gave her was a lingering one, a soft but insistent press of lips and a slight swipe of his tongue against the seam of her lips and with a gasp she granted him access.

He wanted the kiss to be slow and deep, filled with other emotions than just desire. So as his hands moved up to cup her face he slowly walked backwards towards his apartment door. She followed willingly, her own hands having a firm grip on his shoulders. He didn’t stop moving until they had reached his bedroom and he let his hands move down from her face until he held her hips.

“Sansa I…” he started as he pulled away but she gave him a soft smile and pulled him back in for another kiss. He wanted to apologise, he should tell her he was sorry for being an ass. The slight smile against his lips stole the apology away just as much as her kiss did.

“I know,” she said softly and pulled his shirt over his head. They undressed each other slowly, taking the time to run their hands over every inch of the other’s body as if they were exploring each other for the first time.

Once he had her naked beneath him he kissed her softly, putting barely any pressure behind his lips as they made their way down her throat and across her chest. He ghosted his lips over her nipple, drawing a gasp from her lips that made his heart and his cock twitch in unison. He paid the same attention to the other one and didn’t take it into his mouth until he felt her hands running through his hair. 

_ If I can’t say it at least I can show her. _

He made a point of kissing every inch of her stomach, feeling it tremble beneath his lips. When he reached her navel his tongue dipped into it, making her breath hitch as her hands pushed into his hair.

“Sandor…” the breathy way she said his name spurred him on to leave open mouthed kisses down her hips until he reached the juncture of her thigh. He stayed there, moving his lips and tongue up to her hip and back down again until he heard her whimper.

It was all the permission he needed to move his mouth across her mound and then slowly downwards. He pressed an open mouthed kiss right at her clit, causing her to arch her back and his large hands grasped her hips, keeping her steady.

“Sandor!” she gasped and her grip on his hair turned almost painful.

“Breathe. Just breathe,” he instructed gently, his lips hovering above her folds and his breath hitting her core. She whined again and he gave her a long lick with the flat of his tongue before he started to kiss and lap at her folds.

He had very little experience with going down on a woman, mostly because his previous experiences had all been quick fucks that were over almost as soon as they were done and neither party had wanted to make it last longer than it had too.

But it was different with Sansa, like everything with her sex was so much more. He had found himself wanting desperately to taste her, to pleasure her with her being the focus. Thankfully she had seemed to enjoy it the first time and had given him gentle instructions as to how she liked it and he had paid careful attention.

He knew that she really enjoyed it when he kissed his way from her entrance to her clit, wet kisses that culminated in him sucking her clit. With every gasp and moan Sandor found himself getting lost in the taste and sound of her. He couldn’t help but push his hips firmly into the mattress to relieve some of the ache in his cock and the relief made him moan around her. 

The moan that left her mouth was so loud that it made him lift his head to look at her. Her eyes were blown wide, her cheeks flushed and her hair deliciously disheveled, as if she had been trashing her head back and forth on his pillow.

“Oh my god Sandor,” she keened and he couldn’t keep himself from moaning against her folds again without releasing her gaze. While she was still moaning loudly he moved his tongue up to her clit and pushed down on it with the tip just as he pressed one long finger slowly inside of her.

She keened and he had never seen a sight like the one before him now. Sansa was staring at him with such wonder and amazement beneath the heady lust that seemed to seep out of her very skin. The grip on his hair tightened and as she pushed his head down harder against her clit she lifted her hips, keeping him where she wanted him. Not that he had any attention of going anywhere, not until she had come like this. Then, and only then, would he push his cock inside of her.

He sucked her clit hard and inserted a second finger, stretching her and then angeling his fingers the way she had taught him. Her response escalated for ever suck and push until she almost screamed out his name. 

While she was coming down from her high he slowly kissed his way up her body until his face hovered above hers. She gave him a soft smile and the hands still in his hair let up enough for her to scratch at his scalp like she knew he loved. He practically purred against her touch and couldn’t help but rut against her leg.

“Sandor…” he would never get tired of hearing her say his name so breathlessly and he couldn’t wait anymore. With a hand around his cock he guided himself to her entrance and slowly slid inside.

He usually liked it rough, claiming her as she claimed him, and thankfully she liked that too. But not tonight, tonight he needed it to be gentle. He wanted it to be loving and slow. She seemed to understand that because she smiled at him before giving him a deep but slow kiss that made his head dizzy. The pace he set with his hips was slow but his thrusts deep so every time he almost pulled out before slowly pushing himself inside of her again. Sansa gasped when he bottomed out inside of her and she moved her arms to grasp his shoulders, keeping him close to her body.

“Sansa…” he moaned out when he felt her lips against the sensitive spot behind his ear. He wanted to tell her that he loved her again, the words on the tip of his tongue but he held them back at the last second by kissing her neck.

“You’re so good to me. So so good,” she cooed and now his breath was the one hitching, emotions clogging up his throat as he lifted his head to look down at her. “There is only you Sandor.”

He wasn’t sure what she was talking about but the words resonated with him and he found himself repeating something similar to her.

“There has only ever been you, only you Sansa. You’re it for me,” he groaned out against her lips and he could see the emotions swirling in her eyes making them look watery with tears before she opened her mouth into a big O and gave out a loud surprised groan as she came.

He felt her clench so tightly against him that he couldn’t even move if he wanted to and that was what it took to throw him over his own edge and he came with studdering breath and a moan from deep within his chest.

Once he returned to himself he rolled off her but kept his arms around her so now she was the one lying on top of him, her red hair splayed out across his chest. He moved his hand slowly up and down her back, caressing her lovingly. And holding her there, close after having made love, he knew that he never ever wanted to let her go. Despite wanting to tell her so right then and there, tell her that he loved her, he knew he needed to be patient. So he settled for pressing a kiss to the crown of her head and as their breathing started to even out he chanted the words in his head instead.

_ I love you. I love you. I love you. _


	12. He loves me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catelyn calls and makes Sansa realise something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> So this chapter is just mostly fluff and lemons. Because that's how I like it ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoy and that you have an amazing Sunday!

They had created a routine of sorts over the months they had been together. They had dinner together once she came home from work and most nights he’d come back from working and snuggle close into bed with her for the few hours they had before she had to go to work. He was always careful not to wake her and to Sansa there was almost no greater feeling than to wake up with his arms around her. The spare key to her apartment had gotten a permanent place on his keychain and in turn he had given her a copy to his place. A part of her saw them getting a place of their own in the future and the thought excited her.

Sansa knew that was a big step and maybe it was soon but she didn’t worry about that part. They were comfortable with each other and she liked that he finally felt comfortable enough to use the key instead of always waiting for her to invite him inside.

While she was walking up the stairs to her apartment her phone rang. She sighed when she saw the caller ID but still tried to sound cheerful as she answered the call.

“Hi mom!”

“Hello Sansa.” The tone of Catelyn Stark’s voice made Sansa pinch her eyebrows as she jougled her bag and phone while trying to unlock her door. There was an undertone of something, as if her mother was going to try and convince Sansa to do something she didn*t want to do. “How are you, dear?”

“I’m good. Work is super busy but very interesting. I am learning a lot and we have this new author who just signed on with us. I’m going to be working with her on her debut novel,” Sansa said and she knew that her excitement could be heard in her voice. It was the first time she would be the head editor and she couldn’t wait. She had been the one to convince Lyanna Mormont to sign with their editing house and Ms Targaryen had rewarded Sansa by making her incharge of the novel. It was an amazing opportunity.

“That’s nice, dear,” Catelyn said and Sansa felt her good spirits fall. Her mother wasn’t really paying attention and once Sansa had the door closed behind her she threw her shoes off haphazardly and sank down on her couch. Sansa decided it was best to focus on the reason her mother had called.

“How are you mom?” she asked and instantly her mother was off talking about the family and friends. Sansa pulled her hair out of her updo as she listened to her mother talk about the son of one of her friends passing the bar and how the latest charity gala had raised a sizable amount. Things that her mother was very passionate about but Sansa also sensed she was gearing up for something.

Sansa looked up when she heard the apartment door opening and smiled softly at Sandor before pointing to her phone. He gave a slight nod in response and from the corner of her eye she saw him collecting her shoes and putting them on the shoe rack. He then went into the kitchen just as Catelyn finally got to the point.

“As you know our Christmas party is coming up,” Catelyn said and Sansa sighed.

“It’s only November mom,” Sansa said and heard her mother scoff.

“You are well aware that it takes time to plan an event like this. I am finishing the guest list as we speak. Your sister is bringing the boy she met on her travels,” Catelyn’s voice took a lower tone as if she was broaching a subject she didn’t want to be overheard. Sansa could see her mother in her mind's eye, sitting at her desk at the company she had helped build with her husband. Sansa’s father was a prominent businessman but everyone knew he would never have gotten where he is today if it hadn’t been for his wife’s ability to establish connections. Their Christmas party was such an occasion. It had very little to do with Christmas or family and everything to do with appearance and making connections.

“Gendry and Arya have been together for four years. You should at least call him by his name,” Sansa scolded as she rubbed her temple. Lately all her conversations with her mother had ended up with her having a headache. Sansa had hoped that the distance would make their relationship better but no matter how many miles there was between them nothing seemed to change.

“Yes well, I am allowing him to come to the party, am I not?” Catelyn’s voice had taken on a biting tone but with a clearing of her throat it turned soft again. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about…”

Suddenly a glass of white wine appeared on the coffee table and Sansa looked up into Sandor’s face. He gave her a gentle emphatic look and she couldn’t keep herself from reaching up to grasp his t-shirt in order to pull his lips to hers in a soft kiss. Sansa could hear her mother’s voice in the background but her focus was on Sandor and how he just knew what she needed without her having to say anything. 

“I’ll get dinner started,” he mouthed and with another soft kiss he went back into the kitchen. She took a big gulp of wine and she wasn’t sure if it was the wine or the sight of Sandor working in her kitchen that spread warmth through her.

_ He is a godsend and he doesn’t even know it. _

As if he felt her eyes on him, his head lifted and he gave her one of those small smiles that he seemed to reserve just for her and she heard the breathless surprised sound of his voice in her head.

_ Shit, I love you. _

It had overwhelmed her then, made her worried that things were moving too fast but as she watched him now she couldn’t for the life of her remember why. Maybe it was just that simple. Love could be scary but it could also be amazing.

“Sansa! Are you listening to me?” Catelyn said with an irritated sigh and Sansa snapped her thoughts away from the man in her life to focus on her mother’s voice.

“I’m sorry, I got distracted for a moment. What were you saying?” Sansa took another sip of wine and leaned back against the couch cushions.

“I was saying that since the Christmas Party is an important event, where a lot of our connections are made and reestablished I think you realise what is expected of you,” Sansa frowned down at the glass in her hand and waited for her mother to continue. “Arya is allowed to bring Gendry but that is only because they’ve been together for a long time now. They are in an established relationship.”

Sansa felt herself stiffen and her eyes moved over to Sandor who raised his eyebrow in question. He always seemed to be able to read her, as if he was attuned to her emotions and did what he could to give her support. She shook her head softly at him and forced herself to relax somewhat. 

_ Another sip of wine might help with that. _

“What are you saying exactly mother?” Sansa asked and Catelyn sighed.

“I am saying that I am putting you down as coming alone. It’s one thing for your sister to insist that her longtime boyfriend be invited. But for you to bring... _that_ _man_, after only three or four months of dating. What sort of impression would that make?” Sansa was tempted to throw her phone across the room but that would mean that Sandor would notice her distress and then she’d have to tell him the horrible thing her mother had just said. So instead she downed the rest of the wine and put the glass down, maybe a little firmer than necessary.

“Excuse me?” she said between gritted teeth and made a point of keeping her voice low.

“There will be important people there Sansa. You can’t bring a fling to an event like this,” Catelyn said and Sansa jumped to her feet and stalked down to her bedroom. When she closed the door behind her she let her anger out.

“Sandor is not just a fling! He is my boyfriend!” She didn’t usually raise her voice at her mother and it surprised even herself. “We care about each other.”

As the words left her mouth she found them too weak to describe what Sandor had become to her. And then she heard  _ those  _ words ringing inside her head again.

_ Shit, I love you. _

She had known she was falling for him and it had been scary thinking that someone could take such an important place in her heart and her life so easily. But as she let herself think about it she realised Sandor had never taken anything, she had been the one giving him everything. Because she couldn’t seem to help herself and she didn’t want to. She just wanted him and he loved her.

“I am not saying that you don’t but this is a very different setting and you know how important it is to your father,” Catelyn said and Sansa felt herself bristle at the lecturing tone that her mother’s voice had taken. It made her want to push back, like she would have done as a teenager but she didn’t allow herself to stupe to that level. “And do you really think this thing will last once you come back home?”

“I do understand mother. And since it is so important to you then you can put me down as not attending.” Before her mother had a chance to say anything else Sansa hung up and for good measure she turned her phone off. She knew there would be hell to pay later but in this moment she didn’t care at all about that.

Her mind was on the man in her kitchen, making her dinner. The man who had taken one look at her and knew she wasn’t having a good day and had taken care of her in those small but meaningful ways. Who had put away her shoes because he knew she normally was a neat freak. Who kissed her like she was his world. Who loved her.

She needed him, she needed to feel his arms around her. She left her phone lying on her bed as she hurried into her kitchen and walked right into his back. She wrapped her arms around his broad back and squeezed him as tightly as she could, while she pressed her cheek to his back.

_ This, this is what matters. _

“You alright little bird?” he asked as he put his hands over hers that were resting on his stomach.

“Getting better now,” she whispered and he pulled her arms away so that he could turn around and pull her into his chest.

She couldn’t help but rub her cheek against the warmth of him and took a deep breath to calm herself. His large hands stroked up and down her back and she focused on the feeling of his caresses. The feeling of comfort that enveloped her just as his embrace did. 

She had never had this in any other relationships. She had never been this comfortable with anyone and definitely not this soon. So why had she let the amount of time they had known each other to mean more than the way he made her feel?

She lifted her head and found him already looking down at her with his brow knitted in concern. She gave him a slight smile but he didn’t seem convinced. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers and she let out a heavy breath.

“My mother is just a bit much sometimes. It’s all about appearances and reputation, it’s tiring,” she admitted as she pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

He frowned down at her and she realised she had never actually told him about her family’s business. A part of her wondered if he’d look at her differently after he knew the privileged life she had grown up into. She knew enough about Sandor’s past to know that his life had been vastly different. She knew he had lost his mother at a very young age and that his father hadn’t been the most present or attentive father. She couldn’t help but wonder, due to the bitterness in his tone the few times he had spoken about him, if he had been neglectful or even abusive.

“My father runs a big company up North, it’s an old family business and it has grown quite a lot after my father married my mother,” she said softly while he just continued to look at her without speaking. “All my life I have been told how to act so that I don’t embarrass them or ruin a business deal.”

“I wouldn’t know shit about that,” he said and the gruff playfulness of his voice made her lips twitch into a small smile. “But I could tell from the moment I met you that you were a lady. Like a proper one.”

“Not a lady, just a spoiled rich girl.” She tried to make her voice sound light but the look he gave her told her that he saw right through it.

“I’ve met plenty of spoiled rich girls in my line of work and you are not one.” His firm rasp left no room for arguments and she rewarded him with a soft kiss. He hummed contently against her lips and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Dinner is almost ready, go get your wine and sit down at the table.”

“I’ve already finished the wine,” she admitted sheepishly and his frown returned.

“Then get yourself some more. We are having shrimp scampi with pasta, I think the bottle I opened earlier would go well with that. We have to celebrate you getting to be head editor on Mormont's book.” He nudged her lightly with his hip when she was reluctant to let go and with a huff she did as he told her. Her heart swelled at the fact that he had remembered and wanted to celebrate her new opportunity with her. The food smelled delicious and it almost made her forget her conversation with her mother as the ate.

“You want to talk about what got you this upset?” he asked between mouthfuls of food and she sighed. He took a large gulp of his water as she leaned back in her chair.

“She was talking about the Christmas Party. My parents have this big cocktail party every year. It’s just an excuse to rub elbows with other business owners and upper class families.” She sighed again and took a sip of wine. Sandor gave her a long look that she couldn’t decipher and it made her hesitate.

“You’re going right? You do every year?” He made it sound like questions but the firmness of his tone told her that it was more like statements. Like he wanted her too. Or was she reading too much into it?

“I honestly don’t know. My mom and I had a disagreement just now.” She decided in that moment that honesty was the best way of going with this. “Over you actually.”

His face darkened and pulled into one of his signature scowls that she realised had been rarer and rarer lately. She didn’t like it at all and she reached out her hand and grasp his. He tried to pull his hand back but she held on and he stopped struggling.

“My mother thought since we haven’t been together long you shouldn’t come to the party. But I told her that if you couldn’t come then I wasn’t coming either.” She thought that her words would make him happy. That he would see it as her sticking up for them but his scowl deepened and with a firm tug he pulled his hand away from hers.

“You shouldn’t have done that. Not like I would want to go to a party like that.” She was taken aback by his words as much as the way he was distancing himself from her, keeping his hands and eyes on his lap. “You should have asked before you went and fought with your mother over me.”

“You won’t go?” she sounded ridiculously unsure but the uncertainty was replaced by annoyance when he shrugged.

“Not gonna be an issue, either way. Your mother doesn't want me there so it’s not happening,” he said and she sighed.

“It’s not like that Sandor…” she tried to protest but was stopped when he snapped his head up and stared at her angrily.

“Yeah? I bet she doesn’t want her precious little girl with the likes of me.” The bitterness in his voice made a scowl of her own pull at her face. “An old fucking nobody, that’s it ain’t it?”

“Shut up.” The words came out in an angry hiss that made him twitch and within seconds she was on her feet and moving over to him. With an angry scowl she pushed at his chest and he scooted his chair back enough from the table for her to be able to straddle his lap. “Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that, not around me. Because I know you Sandor.”

“Oh yeah? You do, do you?” he challenged and she bristled and grasped his face firmly in her hands, tilting his head back so that she could look into his eyes. The deep grey pools were filled with uncertainty but the longer she stared into them she saw them soften and fill with love. Love for her.

“I do. I know that you are so much more than you think. You are the most honest person I know. You are stubborn and moody but you are also selfless and caring.” At that he opened his mouth to protest but she placed a warning finger over his lips. “You take care of me, you know what I need before I do and you see everything. You see what needs to be done and you try to do your best to help where you can. And when you hold me I feel safe and happy. I know that nothing can take that feeling away from me as long as your arms are around me. And that is just some of the reasons why I love you.”

She watched as his mouth fell open, all thoughts of protest gone. His grey eyes had gone wide and blank, like every lucid thought had flown out of his mouth and he looked so out of it that Sansa was starting to become concerned.

“Sandor?” she kept her voice soft and gentle but he just kept staring out into nothing, showing no signs of hearing her. “Sandor? Did you hear me? I said I…”

His eyes suddenly snapped to hers and the heat that suddenly appeared in them made her gasp just as much as the firm grip he suddenly had on her jaw.

“I fucking heard you,” he growled out and then his mouth was on hers. His tongue pushed its way into her mouth and it felt like he was claiming her, putting as much of his emotions as his physical strength into the kiss. He barely gave her the possibility of breathing with how intense his kisses were. 

When his mouth finally pulled back enough for her to pull in a shuddering breath he kept his lips hovering just above hers. His silver grey eyes had turned a dark slate grey and he was staring into her eyes, driving into her soul with the shocked amazement she saw there.

“Say it again.” It wasn’t a command, not a request but a plea.

“I love you.” There was no hesitation now as she gave into him. She had no idea why there ever had been. It might not be logical and people like her mother would say it was too soon but Sansa didn’t care. It was the truth. “I love you Sandor.”

Another deep growl reverberated through his chest before his mouth was taking hers again and it felt like her whole being was tingling with need for him. She bit down on his bottom lip and with a grunt he abruptly stood, making her wrap her legs firmly around his hips. It aligned her perfectly with his hardness and the feel of it against her made her gasp.

“I need you. Sansa, I need you,” Sandor gasped out against her lips and she nodded frantically as he pushed himself even closer.

“Yes. Please Sandor,” she pleaded back and she could feel her heart rate at the juncture of her thigh when he put her down on the counter. Her hands made their way into his hair and with a purr low in his throat his hands pushed up her pencil skirt. When the skirt was pushed up above her hips he made quick work of pulling down her pantyhose and panties in one strong pull. The cool counter as well as the cool air hitting her ass and lower lips made her gasp. It grew into a loud moan when Sandor’s thumb brushed her clit with firm purpose.

Sansa pressed open mouthed kisses along his bearded jawline and when she reached his ear she took the earlobe between her teeth.

“Sandor…” her voice was a whiny moan that she barely recognised as her own voice and his response was a shaky groan followed by the rustling of his belt and then the sound of his zipper. One of his hands grasped her hip and pulled her closer to the edge of the counter. When she felt the tip of his cock running up and down her slit she moaned and pressed a sloppy needy kiss against his mouth.

“Say it again.” This time it was a command. His voice was thick and heady with lust but he kept her eyes as she felt his tip just by her entrance. “Say it again, baby.”

“I love you.” She had no desire of denying him hearing her saying it and she would happily say it as many times as he wanted her to. “I love you so much.”

“I love you.” He groaned the words back at her as he entered her with one single firm thrust and it felt so good that her eyes rolled back into her head. “Fuck, Sansa. I love you.”

The pace he set was bruising and she didn’t want it any other way. She loved it when Sandor lost control of his lust for her, when he let go and let himself feel everything he was feeling. Right now it was a desperate need to feel the connection between them physically and she needed the same. They were still almost fully clothed, her skirt only pushed up enough to grant him access to her and his pants hung around his knees and it was perfect.

“Oh shit, baby!” she keened as he thrusted firmly inside of her and kissed her neck with firm demanding presses off his mouth. She was probably going to be blotchy and red from his beard but she didn’t care. She didn’t care if people could see his marks on her, because she was his. And as she claimed his mouth with her own she knew he was hers.

She felt herself go taught as a bowstring before she released a long whimper as her orgasm hit her. Just as she was coming down and turning limp in his arms she felt him picking up his pace even more and with a few frantic thrusts she felt as well as heard his pleasure hit him. It was the loudest sound she had ever heard him release, it was a mix between a growl and a moan and if she hadn’t already come that sound combined with the rapture on his face would have done it for her.

_ Love. This is love. _

“Baby,” she cooed and the smile he gave her was the biggest she had ever seen on his face before. It sent a jolt to her heart and she wondered if would get sick of hearing her say it because it seemed like she couldn’t get enough. “I love you.”

Somehow his smile brightened and with a happy sigh he pressed his forehead against hers.

“I love you too. Fuck I love you so fucking much Sansa Stark. You have no fucking idea.” A bubbly laugh left her mouth then, the joy of it coming from deep inside of her.

_ That was just such a Sandor thing to say. And she didn’t doubt him for a second. _

“You’re mine, forever. So you have plenty of time to show me.” she told him and the determination in her voice made him chuckle.

“Aye. I’m yours til the day I die little bird.” It sounded almost like a vow and the thought of that made Sansa’s heart soar.

“And I’m yours for even longer than that,” she said back and he chuckled again.

“You always have to one-up me, that it?” his teasing tone made her smile even wider and she pressed a soft kiss against his lips. “Pain in my ass is what you are.”

“You don’t mind thought, because you love me,” she quipped good naturedly and he dragged his nose against hers in a gentle caress. 

“That I do.”

In that moment Sansa was so happy that she didn’t care what anyone would think or say. This man, her man, he was it for her. She knew it and he thankfully felt the same way.

_ I love him and he loves me. That’s all that matters. _


	13. What does forever mean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things move at a snail's pace and sometimes it does the opposite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Here is another chapter for you guys.

Sandor’s heart was racing, making it hard to breath as he drove the truck up the hill. Sansa was sitting in the passenger seat with a big smile on her face as she took in their surroundings while they truck climbed higher.

He figured the reason he was nervous wasn’t the fact that he was with her, but because of how inexperienced he was with things like this. He wanted her to feel appriciated, loved, cherished and all that shit but most of the time he felt so fucking inadecute. He knew he’d have to make an effort and hopefully she would enjoy what he had planned.

“We have to walk from here,” he told her as he parked the car close to a hiking trail. Without hesitation she jumped out and looked around with eyes shining in the sunlight. Sandor grabbed the backpack and walked up to take her hand. Her blue eyes turned to him and it caused his already racing heart to speed up.

The trail wasn’t a difficult one and he had chosen it because it led to a viewing point where you could see the hills and the sea laid before you and he had figured Sansa would like that.

“I can’t believe it’s December and it still looks like fall,” Sansa said as she reached out her free hand towards the foliage around them. It was a mix of brown, red and yellow and if there was one perk of living this far south was that it never really got that cold. Sure the air turned brisk and you’d need a heavier coat but in the decade he had lived there it had never snowed. “At home there is already a foot of snow.”

She said it so wistfully that it made his heart clench. In just a few days she would go back and even if was just for a week it was one of the reasons his heart was beating so franticly in his chest. Because she still called the north “home” and a part of him was terrified that she’d regret ever leaving once she went back.

_ What if she doesn’t come back? _

He forced himself to move forward and he tried to push thoughts like that away unless he’d risk spiraling down into a dark place that he didn’t want to go to. She was here with him, she loved him. That had to count for something because to him it was everything.

She had been adamant at first that she wouldn’t go home, that she wasn’t going to attend her family’s Christmas party and despite several calls from both her parents she hadn’t relented. It wasn’t until her older brother had called and she had spent thirty minutes facetiming with a small child and crying for just as long afterwards that she had relented. Damn Catelyn Stark didn’t fight fair.

He had promised her that it was fine that he wasn’t invited, that it didn’t matter. And it didn’t. He didn’t care what other people thought of him, he was used to being judged. What he didn’t like was how it made Sansa feel and he liked it even less that they’d spend a whole week away from each other. He could barely remember a time where he hadn’t at least seen her every day, if only for a few moments.

“Oh, wow.” Sansa’s gasp brought him back to the moment and he realised that they had reached their destination. She was a vision as she stood at the edge with the deep fall colours around her as well as the blue sky.

He hurriedly unpacked the backpack, placed the thick blanket on the ground and pulled out the different food. By the time she turned around he was sitting there, waiting for her and her eyes widened in surprise.

“Come sit,” he said as he patted the blanket next to him and huffed in surprise when she instead straddled his lap. He quickly collected himself and put his hands on her hips, reveling in the way it felt to have her so close.

“You are wonderful, do you know that?” her voice was barely above a whisper but to him she might as well have been screaming with how overwhelming her words felt. For years he had thought so little of himself, figuring he’d end up alone and that he was better for it. But with every second of every day that he spent with her she showed him through her actions and her words that there was something so much more for him now.

“It’s not much, just sandwiches and coffee,” he grumbled but she still smiled at him and pressed a soft kiss against his mouth. It was tempting to deepen the kiss, to pull her even closer and see how far she’d allow him to take it but he controlled himself and moved her off him. He wanted her all the time, every minute of every day and it was sometimes overpowering, this need for her. But that wasn’t what this moment was supposed to be about. It was supposed to be about him showing her how much he loved her and how he wanted to make her happy.

She protested slightly when he put her cute ass on the blanket next to him but when he smiled at her the pout disappeared to make room for a smile of her own. He handed her a brie and salami sandwich, which he knew was her favorite, and poured them both some coffee. She didn’t even need to tell him when to stop as he poured milk into her cup until it turned the shade that she preferred. He loved the fact that not only did he know what she preferred or liked she knew just as much about him.

_ I’ve never had that level of comfort with anyone before. _

“I have to say that this whole thing is very romantic,” she said as they ate and he felt his cheeks flush under her warm look.

“What? Didn’t think I could be?” he asked. Before he would have said it angrily, taking it as a slight but now his lips twitched and his eyes were teasing as she grinned at him.

“Oh I know first hand that you can. I’m just wondering what the occasion is,” she said and his eyes widened for a second before he cleared his throat nervously.

“No occasion. Just wanted to do something special before you leave.” He left out the part that he hoped that it was enough for her to want to come back. He couldn’t tell her that he was terrified that she would decide to stay up north permanently. She had her whole old life there, her whole family. Here in the south there was only her new job and him. How was he supposed to compete? For someone like Sansa he figured home was a powerful thing and the pull of it had to weigh more than he did.

“I love you,” she said softly as if she could somehow sense his worried thoughts and those huge words pushed his doubt away at least for the moment.

“I love you too,” he answered and cupped her face in order to kiss her firmly. She hummed against his mouth and he wished that there was something he could do or say to make her realise how much he meant his words. How he was sure he was never going to stop loving her, even if she did stay in the north. He was hers.

_ Focus. Don’t fucking ruin this moment with your shit. _

“So, you excited about going home?” he asked and mentally patted himself on the back for not spitting out the word home like he wanted.

“Sure. It’s going to be fun to see my family. Especially my niece Hannah and my best friend Jeyne. Her daughter Elise is my goddaughter and almost three.” The smile on her face both warmed Sandor’s heart while it made it strain painfully.

“You think you’d want to move back at some point?” the question left his lips without him meaning it to and he could kick himself with how her auburn brows twisted into a frown before she sighed.

“Maybe someday… I mean it’s my home. I’ve always loved it there and I miss my family. But there is only one publishing house that far north and I am never setting my foot in that place ever again.” Her frown deepened so much that it had him reaching out his hand to grasp hers. He slowly rubbed his calloused thumb across the back of her hand, hoping to comfort her.

She had never really told him about why she had left that job other than that leaving it was the reason that she had moved down south. So he kept silent, hoping that she would talk to him about it if she wanted too.

“The owner, Baelish, is a family friend of my mother and I knew I got special attention because of it. I was a junior editor but he put me on all of the big projects, meaning that we would work very closely,” her grip on his hand tightened as she spoke and she kept her head turned towards the view. He understood that it meant that what she was about to say wasn’t pleasant. “At first it was just comments about my looks and then it slowly turned into him finding excuses to touch me. I felt uncomfortable but I just figured I was reading too much into it, you know? My mother had known him her whole life and I figured he was just being friendly so I didn’t say anything. Then one night he demanded that I stayed after hours, something about being behind on a project. I wanted to say no but I didn’t…”

He saw the slight tremble in her shoulders and without hesitation he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her flush into his side. With a sigh, she leaned her head against his shoulder and he pressed a light kiss on the crown of her head. He dreaded where the rest of her story was going and he knew it was ridiculous of him to hope that it wasn’t going the way he thought it was. Because there was probably only one way stories like hers went.

“He had me sitting on the couch in his office and when he sat down next to me he put his hand on my knee. I tried to shift away but he didn’t stop. Instead he moved his hand up beneath my skirt and he told me… He told me that he knew that I wanted this and that it could be our secret,” there was a hitch in her throat and there was nothing he could do to keep her safe, nothing he could do to stop something that had already happened. He could only wish that he had the man in question in front of him so that he could kill him. “When I said that I wanted him to stop he laughed and tried to kiss me. I wasn’t thinking, I just panicked and threw my coffee at him. It caused him to jump back and I ran. I ran right out of there and told my parents I was never going back.”

She lifted her head to look at him and the sadness in her eyes quelled his anger enough for him to focus on her and when he pressed his forehead against hers she released a heavy breath of air and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I’ll kill him,” he meant it even if it made her chuckle, he wouldn’t tell her that he wasn’t joking. She didn’t need to focus on the darkness of his anger. She needed him here with her now.

“You think you’d ever want to move up north?” she asked and for a moment he was confused by her sudden change of subject but he allowed it. He figured she didn’t want to talk about it anymore and he wasn’t going to push. He knew what it was like to want to keep your hurts private.

“I’d move anywhere that you wanted me to,” he answered honestly and watched as her blue eyes widened in disbelief. He didn’t like that, didn’t want her to have any doubts about his love for her so he forced himself to speak words he had barely dared to think. “I would go or do anything if it meant that I was with you. The place or the circumstance doesn’t matter. Only that I’m with you. Every day for the rest of my life.”

Her cheeks flushed a tantalizing pink as her eyes turned heated and the arms around his neck grasped him tighter. He couldn’t look away from her even if he would have wanted to, not that he did. He’d spend the rest of his life looking at her if she’d let him.

“Why Sandor Clegane, that sounds almost like a proposal,” she teased as she pressed a feather light soft kiss to his lips and his heart swelled.

_ A proposal? _

Even though he had been thinking in terms of forever he hadn’t dared to go into details of what that would entail. He had needed to keep a semblance of control over what was happening to him now that he had her but now she had opened the dam and he couldn’t fight the words out of his head.

_ Proposal. Marriage. Married to Sansa Stark. Sansa Clegane. Oh fuck. _

“I was just teasing Sandor.” Her voice sounded worried and when he forced himself to focus on the woman in front of him he was worried that his silence had been taken the wrong way. He could see it in the way her eyes searched his with a slight crease to her forehead and the way her teeth were worrying at her bottom lip.

“What if it was?” her shocked gasp had his heart doing a fucking summersault and he was terriefied that he had scared her off. She had been the one to tell him that she needed time to do things at her own pace when he told her that he loved her. He had waited and thankfully she hadn’t kept him waiting that long before she said it back and made him the happiest he had ever been. And now she said it everyday like it was such a certain thing and he knew that it was to him. He would always love her, he would always want her. Of that he was certain. And having a permanent connection to her, knowing that they were together no matter where they were in the world had his heart screaming at him to make it happen.

“I… I’d say yes.” Now he was the one to release a shocked gasp before he practically threw himself at her, the sudden shift of his weight pushing her back down onto the blanket. He stared down in wonder at the beautiful woman smiling up at him as brightly as the sun and he had to close his eyes when they started to burn.

Her hand came up to cup his burned cheek and to keep himself from making an utter fool of himself he kissed her, putting all of the love he had for her into the kiss. She matched his frantic pace as her other hand moved to twine into his hair, pulling him closer and he allowed himself to get lost in the emotions of the moment.

_ She would say yes, she’d want to be my wife. I have to get a fucking ring. _

* * *

It felt like Sansa had been gone days and not hours. He knew he was being ridiculous, he had dropped her off at the airport this morning and the sun had just started to set but it felt wrong to go up to his apartment instead of hers. He should probably be concerned with the fact that he felt more at home at her place than his but he wasn’t.

As a matter of fact he had started thinking about if they should move in together. He spent every night in her bed and if she was home he spent all his time at her place anyway, he had about the same amount of clothes in both places. It wouldn’t even take that much of an effort for him to actually move since he didn’t have that much that he cared about keeping.

They had had a moment where it almost seemed like they were getting engaged so moving in together didn’t seem that far fetched. The thought made him frown down at his sorry plate of frozen dinner. They had never really talked about what had happened on the hill that day. She hadn’t brought it up and neither had he. He had been terrified that if he did she’d admit that it was just a heat of the moment thing and even if it might have been it had turned dead serious to him the moment the words had left his lips.

Maybe she was waiting for him to show her that he had meant it? That he did want all those things and that he wanted her to be his in every way possible. His thoughts went to the fucking ring he had tucked away in his sock drawer. It was white gold with small stones inlaid in the band.

It was nothing like the ring she deserved but with his salary it wasn’t like he could afford those flashy diamond rings that women seemed to prefer. She deserved everything she had ever imagined for herself and when he had gone to the jewelry store he had felt so fucking inadecute. Her family obviously had money and would probably call the measly savings that he had spent pocket change.

_ Sansa isn’t like that. _

He knew she wasn’t and he just had to grow enough balls to make his spur of the moment half proposal into a real one if he wanted to keep her. Which he fucking did. Just as he had kicked his own ass over it enough his phone started ringing and her name popped up on the screen.

“Hey little bird, miss me already?” he teased knowing that he probably missed her more than she did him. She was with her family after all.

“Yeah.” The tremble in her voice had him sitting up, his back straight like a rod with tension. Something was wrong, he could sense it in the way her breath trembled in his ear and he steeled himself in order to not let the panic that was growing take charge.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly and with a sob she started crying so hard that he was struggling with breathing. What was going on? “Sansa, please talk to me. Are you hurt?”

“No… No… I,” she sobbed out and he bit his lip to keep from shouting at her to talk to him before he had a heart attack. “It’s stupid… I just…”

“If it got you this upset it isn’t stupid,” he interjected harshly and forced himself to use a softer voice. “Tell me.”

He could hear her take a deep breath and that was good. It was good that she was trying to calm down.

“We were all having dinner, talking about the party tomorrow and then mom said that  _ he  _ was coming. Like it wasn’t a big deal.” With how upset Sansa sounded she didn’t have to explain who he was. A surge of anger washed over him and his grip on his phone turned his knuckles white.

“Why would she allow that asshole into your house?” he growled out and his heart clenched when he heard Sansa sob.

“I never told them exactly what happened. I was so embarrassed that I allowed it to happen and I wanted to forget all about it. I just said that he had acted inappropriately and that I didn’t feel comfortable with going back there,” she said and then she was crying again. “She said that she was sure that it was just a misunderstanding.”

“You didn’t allow anything. He took advantage of you and that is all on him,” Sandor growled out but that only made her cry harder. “Shit, I… What can I do, baby?”

“You’re already doing it. It helps hearing your voice,” she said and it made his chest jump with how much she seemed to love him. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow. I wish you were here so that you could hold me. Everything feels better when you hold me.”

“Just keep talking with me, alright?” he said softly as he got to his feet and started stuffing a bag with clothes, not really thinking about what he was doing. His mind was occupied with the image of Sansa alone in her childhood bedroom, cheeks tear streaked as she cried into her phone. “Tell me about Hannah and Elise.”

He was only half listening as she talked about her niece and goddaughter but it seemed to calm her and by the time he was pulling out on the highway headed north her tears had slowed and her breath was more even. He kept her talking as he drove, about things that made her happy and when the flow of her words had started to slow he could only smile softly.

“I love you Sandor,” she said as she yawned and he could hear rustling as if she was laying down on her bed.

“I love you, too. Stay on the line for me okay?” he heard her groan out her agreement.

The remaining hours of his drive was filled with the sound of her soft breathing and mumbling in her sleep. He hated to disturb her sleep, with how upset she had been but he didn’t have a choice.

“Hey baby? Sansa?” he could hear her sleepy protests and in his mind he could imagine the pout she was making at being woken up. “You can go back to sleep in a minute. I just need you tell me the security code to the gate. I’m gonna freeze my balls off if I have to spend the night in my truck.”

“What?” she sounded more alert now and he repeated himself only for her to repeat herself again too. “What?”

He could see the light go on in one of the windows of the house down the drive and it made him smile to think that Sansa was there, so close now.

“Is that you?” she sounded shocked and in disbelief. “It’s a five hour drive!”

“I know and I’m really tired. So I’d like to come inside and get some sleep,” he said softly and suddenly her voice sounded laboured, as if she was running.

“Sandor, you… 63749,” she pressed out and after repeating the numbers on the codepad the gate swung open and he made his way down the drive.

He had barely gotten out of the truck before the front door flew open and Sansa came running towards him. He noticed that she was only wearing a thin robe and slippers as she ran out into the cold winter air but he lost that thought when she threw herself at him making him drop his bag in order to catch her against his chest.

“Oh my god Sandor! You’re here!” she gasped against him and pressed herself so close that it felt like she was melting into him.

“I hope it’s alright that I am,” he rasped out and she held him even closer as he picked up his bag and headed towards the door. He needed her out of this fucking cold before she caught her death but she didn’t seem to have any plans of letting go of the deathgrip she had on him.

“It’s more than alright. Thank you,” she said and finally lifted her head up from where she had it nestled into the crook of his neck. Her eyes were swimming with tears and they were red and puffy but when she looked at him she smiled and he knew that he had made the right decision.

“Where to?” he asked as he closed the door behind them. With a nod of her head towards the stairs he adjusted his grip on her and didn’t put her down until they reached her room. It looked even girlier than he had imagined with hot pink and soft purple walls and a canopy bed.

“I can’t believe that you drove all this way for me,” she said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her bed. He could only shrug as she started to remove his clothes. It was one of the most intimate moments of his life with the way her eyes shone with her love for him and the care she took in gently caressing his exposed skin. When he was only in his boxers she removed her robe and the thin pale nightgown she was wearing made his chest ache. She looked so ethereally beautiful in the moonlight that he almost pulled out the small velvet box that he had in his bag.

He stopped himself when she got beneath her covers and held them up for him to join her. It probably wasn’t the best time. She had been crying only hours ago after all. Instead he slid into the bed and hadn’t really laid down before she wrapped herself around him and rested her head on his chest.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you Sandor?” she whispered as her fingers softly pushed through his thick chest hair.

“Maybe almost as much as I love you,” he retorted and was rewarded with a soft kiss over his heart. The same heart that her name written all over it, like a tattoo.

He allowed the comfort of having in her in his arms lull him into sleep, he needed every single minute that remained of the night so that he could be ready to face a whole clan of Starks in the morning. And Catelyn Stark in particular.


	14. Meeting the Starks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa introduces Sandor to her family and when evening comes she dreads the worst. What will happen during the Christmas Party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Here is another chapter for you guys. I really hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> I hope you have a great Monday and a wonderful week!

For a moment she thought she was dreaming. That it was her aching heart that conjured up the feeling of Sandor’s rough chest hair and hard muscles beneath her cheek but the soft snoring that belonged to it cut through her fantasy and made her realise that he was there. As she opened her eyes and looked up at his relaxed face she remembered how she had called him crying and saying that she wished that he was there to hold her. He must have hurried out into his truck within minutes and driven for five hours straight because she had needed him.

If she hadn’t already been sure that she loved him more than anything she probably would have realised it then and there. What it did make her realise was that he loved her just as much and that maybe it was crazy but she could never picture herself anywhere else than in his arms.

_ I’m gonna marry you, just you wait Sandor Clegane. _

She blushed as the thought entered her mind but then it moved to the memory of his words on the hill. She had wanted it to be a real proposal then and she still did. She had been trying to be patient and wait for him to show or tell her that he had meant it but there had been nothing. She wasn’t going to push him though, he had been patient with her when she had asked for time and even though he hadn’t explicitly asked for it she was going to give it to him.

“You think your mother is going to throw me out?” Sandor asked in that sleepy rasp of his that made her burrow closer to him. Never feeling like she could get close enough.

“No. She’ll understand,” Sansa assured him because even if she was pretty sure that her mother would be irritated with her she would never be that rude.

“Should we get up and face everyone then?” he asked and she couldn’t keep in a giggle with how his voice was filled with dread.

“The can wait a few minutes more.” He chuckled as she burrowed her face into the side of his neck and pressed a soft kiss to his pulse point. She felt it skip beneath her lips and the effect she had on this big strong man always sent a rush of power and confidence through her. She felt strong when he held her and as his arms pulled her tighter against him she tried to absorb some of that strength so that it would keep for what she had to face today.

Sansa grasped Sandor’s hand before leading him into the dining room. It was buzzing with conversation, the majority of her family gathered for breakfast and the Starks had always been a loud bunch. Even if Robb and his family wasn’t there, with them living in their own home down the block, it was loud. Rickon and Arya provided most of the noise, being caught up in a heated discussion that died the second Arya and Rickon’s eyes landed on Sansa and Sandor in the doorway. Sansa could only see the back of her parents heads and as they started to turn around to see what had caught the children’s attention Sansa felt Sandor stiffen.

She squeezed his hand a little tighter, hoping that it gave him comfort, and held her chin high as her mother’s blue eyes locked on hers. Sansa watched as her mother’s eyes went from an expression of happiness into one of confusion and for a second there was a scowl of annoyance as they moved over to Sandor but she quickly schooled her face into a polite smile.

“Good morning sweetheart. And you must be Sandor.” Catelyn said as she stood and offered her hand for Sandor to shake. He hesitated for a second before grasping it and then it was replaced by the hand of her father.

“Nice to finally meet you,” her father said with a polite nod of his head that Sandor returned with one of your own.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr and Mrs Stark.” Sandor raspy voice was steady and calm but his grip on Sansa’s hand told her how nervous he was. She moved her thumb slowly across the back of his large one and only stepped forward enough to kiss her parents cheeks. She then stepped back to Sandor’s side. 

She wanted him to feel like he wasn’t on his own and she herself needed the comfort his closeness brought, incase her mother would say something. This politeness had Sansa a bit on edge, which she hated. She knew that her relationship with her mother hadn’t been this strained before but after what happened with Baelish Sansa had pulled away and moved as soon as she had the chance, instead of talking to her parents about it. She had been ashamed and a part of her had worried about what her mother would think. She had been terrified that she wouldn’t believe her and therefore had chosen not to tell them.

She regretted it sometimes, especially when she had felt the rift it caused between them. She just didn’t know how to act around her mother now and the distance had done nothing but make it feel worse.

“There is food and coffee in the kitchen. Please help yourselves,” Catelyn said with a nod.

Once they were alone in the kitchen Sansa wrapped her arms around Sandor’s middle and pressed her cheek against his chest.

“Thank you for coming here,” she said in a whisper and couldn’t help but smile as she felt his lips on the top of her head.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he grumbled but that only made her hold him a little closer. When she finally let him go they turned towards the spread of breakfast dishes that were laid out in the kitchen.

“It’s like a fu… freaking buffé,” Sandor said under his breath and then proceeded to fill his plate to the brim. She could only smile at him as she took some fruit and scrambled eggs, hoping that her nerves would allow her to eat something at least.

When they came back into the dining room the hushed conversation that had been transpiring between her family members died and she didn’t have to be a genius to know that they had been talking about them. Sansa sat down next Arya and Sandor sat down at her side.

“At least you’re not naked this time,” Rickon said from across the table to Sandor and Catelyn’s head whipped around to stare at her youngest son.

“What did you say?”

“Eh… nothing?” Rickon offered weakly and Sansa felt her cheeks turn flaming red while she glared daggers at her younger brother. “Just that it’s nice to meet you in person, Sandor.”

Sandor nodded in response, his mouth full with food and thankfully her mother didn’t push the subject. Instead she gave Sansa a sweet smile that made her wonder what her mother was up to.

“So what brought on this surprise visit?” her mother’s question was meant for Sandor and he took a big gulp of his coffee before he took a sideways glance at Sansa.

_ Please don’t tell them everything. _

“Sansa and I talked last night and she said that she wished that I was here. So I came,” he said with a shrug.

“She said she wanted you here so you drove five hours? At night, just like that?” Arya’s voice was filled with disbelief and Sansa wondered if anyone would notice if she kicked her sister in the shin.

“Yeah.” Sansa couldn’t read the look Catelyn gave Sandor. It wasn’t the polite indifference that she had been using as a mask since she first noticed him. It was something more, something deeper as if she was trying to understand him. Sansa really hoped that her mother would give Sandor a chance.

“Will you be coming to the party tonight then?” Catelyn asked and Sansa gave her mother a stern glare.

“Of course he is. He is my date.” Sansa’s voice was hard and unyielding and it seemed to surprise her mother.

“I’m sure that another name on the guest list won’t make or break us. Isn’t that right, dear?” Ned said and Sansa threw a small grateful smile at her father who gave a barely there nod in response.

“Of course. I do hope you brought a suit. It is a formal event,” Catelyn said and Sansa was about to snap at her mother when she felt Sandor’s large hand on her thigh beneath the table. The weight and warmth of it steadied her and she took a deep breath.

“I have a black suit and shirt. If it’s required I will have to buy a tie. Is there a store in the area?” Sandor asked sounding as calm as a cucumber as he met Catelyn’s eyes head on.

_ I don’t deserve you, you sweet wonderful man. _

“I have an abundance of those horrible nooses. I’m sure we can find one that will work just fine.” Yet again her father came to their rescue and Sansa felt herself relax somewhat.

“An emerald green if you have one, daddy. So Sandor can match the colour of my dress.” Ned nodded at his oldest daughter and then her mother seemed to feel the conversation finished.

“Well, we still have some preparations to finish for tonight. The hair and make-up team will be here in a few hours and I need everything done by then.”

“Are you going to have someone style and dress up Rickon as well?” Arya asked bitterly and Catelyn gave her youngest daughter a stern glare.

“Yes, that’s your father’s job and the barber’s.” Sansa had to bite her lip to keep in a snort at the matching dismayed faces of her father and brother. “Would you be inclined to go with them Sandor or will you be helping us with party preparations?”

Sandor turned his head towards Sansa and in his eyes she could read the questions he was thinking as clear as if he had spoken the words out loud. What did she want him to do? Would she be comfortable if he left with her father and brother?

She gave him a soft smile and not caring that her family was watching she reached up to cup his burned cheek and pulled his face down to hers. He followed compliently and the kiss they shared was short and sweet. It was the slight clearing of her father’s throat that made her release Sandor and nod.

“You can go with them if you want. It will probably be more fun than running around with centre pieces and then watching us being made up for hours,” she said and the twitch in his lip told her that she had made the right call. “Besides, daddy always comes back from the barber smelling slightly of cigars and bourbon.”

“Ned!” Catelyn scolded but her husband only shrugged with a slight smile on his face.

“Sold.” She knew that it was a bigger deal to Sandor then he was letting on. He was going to spend time with her father and brothers without her around. She wouldn’t blame him if it made him feel nervous or uncomfortable. He had told her that he struggled with a lot of social situations and she hoped that her father and brothers wouldn’t give him too much of a hard time.

“I’d much rather go to the barbers,” Arya whined but then her phone dinged, drawing her attention away from the subject. The smile that tugged at her sister’s mouth told Sansa that it was her boyfriend who was texting her. He was one of the few people who could get Arya to smile like that. Just like Sansa was one of the few people who could get Sandor to smile.

“Will Gendry meet us there?” Rickon asked and Arya nodded.

After having finished their breakfast in awkward silence everyone left the dining room. Sansa lead Sandor back into her bedroom in hopes of getting a few minutes alone before her mother demanded her help.

“That wasn’t as bad as I was expecting,” Sandor said as he closed the door behind him and huffed out a surprised breath when Sansa practically threw herself at him. “Hey, little bird. Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Just… thank you for doing this, all of it,” she said against his chest and found comfort in the sound of his heart beneath her ear. “My mom is being polite, she would never make a scene. Once you guys have left I’m sure she’ll let me have it.”

Sandor pulled back and grasped her chin so that he could tilt her face up to look at his. His face and eyes were serious and she loved him so much, even a little bit more when he started talking.

“You want me to stay? To be here incase she gives you trouble?” he asked and she couldn’t help herself from pushing up on her toes to kiss him. Her tongue pushed inside of his mouth and the hummed moan he gave in response sent a shiver through her.

He walked her back until they both fell down on her bed and it almost felt like she was a teenager again, making out with her boyfriend in her childhood bedroom. Her hands had made their way underneath his t-shirt and his hands were grasping her butt firmly when they were interrupted by a sharp knock on her door.

“Dude, dad is waiting in the car.” Sansa couldn’t keep in a giggle when Rickon’s voice made Sandor cursed under his breath. “Please don’t make me have to come in there.”

“You stay the fuck out. I’ll be right there,” Sandor growled and with one last firm kiss against Sansa’s lips he reluctantly pulled away and sat up. Sansa moved to sit behind him and reached out to hug him from behind.

“I’m gonna miss you. Is that pathetic?” she asked and he turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. His grey eyes were soft and warm and it made her insides turn into complete mush with how much love she could see in his eyes.

“If it does then I am just as pathetic.” She gave him a gentle kiss for that and then he was up and heading for the bedroom door. “You call me if you need anything, or just to talk.”

“The same goes for you.” With a sharp nod he was gone and Sansa took a deep breath and fixed her appearance. She was sure the slight burn marks on her neck would be a dead give away of what they had been doing but at least her hair was immaculate. She didn’t want to give her mother another reason the be annoyed with her. When she was satisfied that she looked as well as she was able, she headed downstairs to face her mother.

Catelyn was directing the event staff how was turning their house into a Christmas wonderland with twinkling lights and flowers. Her mother had always had an eye for these kinds of things and therefore she always wanted to be very hands on in everything.

“What do you need me to do, mom?” Sansa asked as she came up to her mother. Catelyn turned her blue eyes towards her and Sansa took a deep breath.

“I need you to explain to me why your boyfriend, who we agreed would not attend, just appeared overnight. Did you plan this all along?” Catelyn’s voice was calm and collected but her eyes were burning with suppressed annoyance and Sansa forced herself not to lash out.

“No, it was not planned. He surprised me and I am so glad that he did.”

“So he knew he wasn’t invited and decided to ignore that fact and crash the party instead?” Catelyn asked and Sansa felt her cheeks flush with anger.

“No! He did no such thing! I called him last night and I was upset and I did tell him that I wished that he was here. So he came. It has nothing to do with you or this party mother.” Sansa’s tone was biting and she wished that she knew how her mother would react if she told her the true reason as to why she had been upset. “But he should have been invited to begin with. I love him mom, and he loves me.”

“I know that dear. I can see it in the way he looks at you.” Sansa hadn’t expected her mother to say that. She had been prepared for more arguments against him but her mother’s eyes turned soft. “And he is here now. We might as well make the best of it.”

In that moment Sansa saw the woman that her mother had been when she was a child. The one who always had a smile and a hug when you needed one. That woman might have believed Sansa when she told her about Baelish, and maybe she still was that woman at heart but Sansa had been too scared to risk it. She still was.

_ She didn’t ask why I was upset though. _

In hopes of keeping her mother happy she helped out with what she could and then went along with most of the ideas her mother’s hair stylist and make-up artist had in mind. She drew the line when they wanted to do some elaborate updo and had them braid the hair away from her face and let the rest of it hang in loose curls. She thought it went well with the green satin cocktail dress with a modest neckline and a high/low hemline that she had chosen for the occasion. It was cinched at the waist and the skirt flared out beautifully.

“You look gorgeous dear,” Catelyn said and Sansa gave her mother a true bright smile. “You do too Arya.”

Arya had her shorter dark hair styled in soft curls around her face and had agreed to wear some eyeliner. Her dress was a black lace a-line cocktail dress that fit her perfectly. Their mother had her auburn hair up in an intricate bun and her deep blue dress had a scoop neckline and lace sleeves. She looked ever the refined lady and Sansa remembered that as a little girl she had thought her mother looked like a queen whenever she dressed up for a party. 

“I’m heading downstairs,” Sansa said and when her mother gave her a dismissive nod she hurried down the stairs as fast as her high heels would allow her. The guests would be arriving shortly and she wanted to find Sandor before then. She needed to know that he was alright.

There was a lot of staff bustling around but she couldn’t find her father, brothers or Sandor which made her draw the conclusion that they were all hiding out in her father’s office. As she reached the closed door she could hear their voices and it made her smile that some things stayed the same through the years.

“Sansa!” Gendry exclaimed when she opened the door and his strong arms wrapped around her in a firm hug. She had always like Arya’s boyfriend and gave him a big happy smile when he released her and then she turned to the room.

Her father was sitting in his desk chair, with Rickon leaning against the desk, while Sandor and Robb was sitting on the leather couch. She couldn’t keep in a big smile and blushed when she saw the way Sandor’s eyes widened as he took her in. He looked as if someone had smacked him over the head.

“Close your mouth or you’re gonna catch flies,” Robb teased and it was enough to pull Sandor back from his admiring her and turn to her brother with a glare.

“Sandor,” Sansa said softly and without having to explain what she wanted he was on his feet and walking over to her. With a soft smile only meant for her he took her hand in his and she squeezed it. “We’ll see you guys later.”

She pulled Sandor out of the office and into an alcove where they could have some privacy from the bustling going on. She could hear her mother calling out orders and Sansa hoped that her mother would be busy enough with the party to let her enjoy herself with Sandor. Usually she would drag all of her children around to meet people and shake hands. Before everything Sansa had never really minded it, she had enjoyed meeting and talking with people but the idea of it now made her feel tired with just thinking about it.

“You look beautiful,” Sandor said in a deep rasp and it drew her back to the moment. She felt her cheeks flush as she gave him a soft smile. Her eyes scanned his face and widened when she realised what she was seeing.

“You trimmed your beard.” She couldn’t keep from lifting a hand to stroke the now slightly shorter and neater beard. She then saw him run his hand through his hair nervously and she realised that it didn’t reach down to his shoulders anymore. It was still long but reached just below his jaw line and he had pushed it away from his face. “Your hair…”

“Do you like it?” he asked and the way he was searching her face, trying to anticipate her reaction made her heart clench in her chest.

“You look very handsome. But you didn’t have to do this, not because of me or my family. I love you for you, you know that right?” she asked hesitantly and in response he lifted the hand he held in his to his lips.

“I know. But I was do for a haircut. And hopefully it won’t hurt with your family.” There was a slight twitch in his lip that made her grin widely at him. “Not that I think anyone will even notice me with you looking this gorgeous.”

She felt the sudden urge to push him against the wall and kiss him senseless but if she did that she knew there was no way that they were going to make an appearance at the party and if they didn’t her mother would have her head. He seemed to be debating the same thing with how his free hand came to rest against her hip, his thumb making slow circles that were terribly distracting.

“Did you have an alright time with my father and brothers?” she asked and he shrugged.

“It was fine. They asked me some questions and I answered them honestly.” He said is so casually but that made Sansa think that it hadn’t been particularly casual questions and she really wanted to ask him what kind of questions they had asked but before she could he smiled softly at her like he knew what she was thinking. “I’ll tell you after the party, alright?”

“Alright,” she sighed and tugged at the emerald green tie, making him stare heatedly at her. “I’ll hold you to that.”

She pulled him down by the tie and with a groan he rested his forehead against hers.

“You ready for this?” he asked in a hushed whisper and she gave him a soft smile.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you that? It’s your first Stark Enterprises’ Christmas Party. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into,” she teased but he only scoffed and squeezed her hand.

“As long as I’m with you I’ll be fine.” She hoped he would still feel that way when he had been pulled and dragged around having to make small talk for hours. 

It had only been an hour but Sansa felt exhausted with how many people she had been greeting and making small talk with. Sandor was her constant companion, holding her hand and shaking the hands of the people he was introduced to. He spoke no more than the required greeting and everytime she had to introduce him as her boyfriend the words felt wrong in her mouth. They weren’t enough to describe who he was to her and she was tempted more than once to call him her fiance. But she held her tongue and when there was a moment of calm she pulled him over to the bar.

“Do you want a scotch, honey?” she asked softly and the creese on Sandor’s forehead lessened as he looked down at her and nodded. She turned to the bartender with a soft smile. “I’ll have a glass of white wine, thank you.”

“So this is it huh?” he said once they had their drinks and moved to a quieter corner of the room. There were ornaments everywhere and people dressed to the nines. So many people that Sansa had lost track of which people she had already greeted and which had just arrived. A waiter passed them with a tray of hors d'oeuvres and she took a few with a slight smile.

“Yeah this is it,” she answered as she offered Sandor some of them. He took one that Sansa knew was duck mousse and capers and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the face he made.

“Fuck, that’s disgusting.” He took a deep swig of his scotch and she leaned her head against his shoulder with a sigh. She figured that at this point she was probably excused from her mandatory rounds and maybe they could finally enjoy the evening. There was a live band and she thought that with the right amount of prodding and sweet talk she might get her large man to dance with her.

She was also grateful that she hadn’t run into Baelish. She had no doubt that he was going to show up but she hoped that she and Sandor might have ducked out by then.

“Ah, here you are.” Sansa took a deep breath as she heard her mother’s voice and turned her head towards her. The hand that was grasping Sandor’s tightened its grip without her meaning to as her eyes moved from her mother to the man at her side.

Petyr Baelish gave her one of his slight smiles that never really reached his eyes and it made her whole body go stiff as his eyes traveled over her form. It felt like she couldn’t breath and she turned her eyes away, finding her father’s face watching her from the bar with a concerned frown on his forehead. That made her feel worse, dread settling heavily in her stomach and she realised that her mother had been talking without her hearing what was said.

“We are so happy to have our Sansa back home. Hopefully she’ll come back home permanently soon.” Sansa felt as if she was under water with how far away her mother’s voice sounded as Catelyn gave Baelish a small smile.

“When she does her old position at Baelish Publishing will be waiting for her of course,” Baelish said as he took a step closer and stealing Sansa’s ability to breath. “It is lovely to see you again Sansa.”

When the older man tried to lean over and kiss her cheek Sansa instinctively wrapped herself around Sandor’s arm and without a second of hesitation he took a step forward, blocking the other man’s access to her. She knew then that Sandor understood who the man in front of them were and the anger was practically flooding out of him, the muscles of his arm rippling with tension.

“You don’t go anywhere near her,” Sandor growled out and Sansa felt her breath hitch. “Not after what you did.”

“Ah, are you the boyfriend then?” Baelish said and extended his hand towards Sandor. It remained outstretched between them and Sandor didn’t even give it a glance. His grey eyes were burning as they glared at Baelish and Sansa saw her mother’s face turn into a frown. 

“Really Sandor…” Catelyn started saying but Sandor didn’t look away from Baelish, keeping Sansa shielded from him with his body. 

“Yes, this overprotective act is quite over the top,” Baelish said as he tried to look at Sansa. “Don’t you think so Sansa, it was just a slight misunderstanding after all.”

There was a deep scary sound, like the growl of an animal rushing out of Sandor’s throat and Sansa knew that if it hadn’t been for the fact that her arms around his kept him focused on keeping her safe he would have had the other man by the throat right now. It was tempting for Sansa to let go and let him go off on the horrible man but she didn’t want Sandor to get into trouble.

“Forcing your hand up her skirt while she begged you to stop doesn’t sound like it could be fucking minuderstood to me.” Sandor’s voice was a growl but loud enough for the people around them to hear and to Sansa it felt like all the air in her lungs were punched out of her.

_ No he didn’t. He didn’t just say that in front of everybody. _

No matter how much she wished that she had imagined it there was no way to explain away the way Baelish eyes widened or the way her mother’s face paled. The things she had been too scared to say out loud were out there now and there was nothing she could do to undo it. Sansa could only watch her mother’s face, waiting for a reaction and at the same time dreading it.

“Sansa?” her mother’s voice was small and shaking as their similar blue eyes watched each other and Sansa couldn’t force words out of her mouth. But the gasp that left her mother’s mouth told her that she didn’t need to say anything.

“Cat, I swear that never happened. She must have told him some story and had it taken out of proportion,” Baelish said and his words shook Sansa to her core. What if her mother chose to believe him?

“My daughter? My daughter?!” the outrage in her mother’s voice made Sansa jump and so did Baelish. “How dare you?! How could you?!”

Sansa had never seen her mother this angry, her face a deep red and her eyes glaring in a terrifying way. Baelish seemed as shocked as Sansa felt and when she started shaking Sandor’s arm wrapped around her and she grasped at the back of his shirt tightly in her fist. 

“It’s alright. You’re alright,” Sandor whispered but she didn’t feel alright. She felt exposed and now with even more eyes turned towards them everyone would know. For a second she worried how upset her mother would be once she realised what a scene they were making and if she would blame Sansa for it but in the next second there was a resounding slapping sound that echoed across the room. It caused Sansa’s attention to return to the exchange between her mother and Baelish.

The red mark that was blooming on the horrible man’s face made Sansa realise that her mother had slapped the man and Sansa felt her anxiety slowly start to simmer down. This had to mean that her mother believed her didn’t it?

“This is ridiculous Cat. Do you really take the word of a… a brute over mine? We have known each other our whole lives,” Baelish said and threw an angry glare towards Sandor who met his glare head on.

“What’s going on?” her father’s demanding voice drew a whimper from Sansa’s lips and she felt how Sandor pressed his lips against her head, the gesture helped to calm her somewhat. Now her father would know too. What would he think of her?

“He tried to… he hurt our little girl, Ned.” The words left Catelyn’s lips in a rushed sob and Ned’s face warped into a look of pure murder. Sansa was shocked at how he didn’t even ask for an explanation. That those words were enough to make him react so strongly.

“I will destroy you,” Ned growled out as he grasped the other man’s shirt and pushed him up against the wall. A gasp ran through the people around them but neither of her parents seemed to care. “We will ruin you and you will pay for what you did.”

“This is ridiculous. Who do you think you are?” Baelish bit out in what felt like a last attempt at claiming his innocence. For a moment it looked as if her father was about to hit the other man. Sansa had never seen her father raise his hand to anyone and it shocked her. But before he could her mother spoke up loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

“You will be nothing once we are done with you. I am a shareholder of your company and when I take this up with the rest of the shareholders you will be out. No one will want anything to do to you with you ever again.” Catelyn’s voice was hard and angry, sounding like steel as she threatened the man her husband had pressed up against the wall but then her voice lowered into a whisper that only those closest could hear. “If you so much as even look at my child again I will have your head, do you hear me?”

Baelish suddenly seemed to realise that there was nothing he could do to turn this back into his favour, it was a lost cause and he knew it. So instead he nodded and threw a murderous glare at Sandor before Ned dragged him out of the room and towards the front door. When Baelish was gone her mother turned her attention to Sansa and the hurt and pain there felt just too much to bare at the moment. Sansa turned her head up to look at Sandor and pleaded with him.

“Take me out of here.” With a firm nod and a long look at Catelyn Sandor led her through the gathered crowd and headed towards the door. He had the foresight to get their coats as he lead her into the backyard.

Her mother’s beautiful garden was covered in an inch of snow and string lights hung between the tree’s, bathing them in a soft light despite the late hour. There was so much swirling around in Sansa’s head that she hadn’t realised that she had kept walking while Sandor had stopped. When she did she turned around and found him looking at her with a pained expression.

“What is it?” she asked softly but he flinched as if she had screamed.

“I didn’t mean to out everything like that, I swear. I just got so angry and it slipped out. Please believe me,” Sandor said as his eyes searched her face imploringly.

Sansa had been angry at him in the moment, angry that he had told them without her consent. That he had taken words that she had spoken in confidence, words that she was too scared to speak herself and told the people she had been most afraid of telling. But now, when it all had started to settle down she didn’t feel angry anymore. She was relieved that it was out, that her parents knew and that they believed her. They had stood up for her, fiercely, and she couldn’t help but wonder how different her relationship with them would have been if she had told them to begin with. But she couldn’t dwell on that. Her focused needed to be one the handsome man in front of her, bathed in soft white light, who had made a mistake but who had also protected her and loved her when she needed it the most.

“I forgive you,” she said as she stepped closer and took his hand. “It’s alright. Everything is out in the open now and hopefully my parents and I can move on.”

He nodded thoughtfully and she watched with a frown how his hand came to rub at his neck, like he tended to do when he was nervous. His eyes darted down to his feet and Sansa suddenly felt worried. She wasn’t sure what was going on with him or why he was acting so nervous when she had already said that she forgave him. It made her heart race and she didn’t think she could handle anymore bad news.

“I think… I mean… I want… Shit…” Sandor ran his hand through his hair and sighed before he lifted his eyes to look at her. “I love you. And I think what we have is something great. I mean, we practically live together and… I… You… We should live together.”

Sansa’s heart jumped in her chest and she tried to hide her disappointment over his words. For a moment they way he was struggling to find the words as well as his nerves had her thinking that maybe he was trying to propose. And she supposed he was proposing something, just not in the way she had hoped.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” she said and he nodded softly.

“Well yes. I mean no. No that's not it! I do want to live with you,” he stuttered out and she could see the amounting frustration he was feeling radiating off of him, stronger with every word. “Fuck, I didn’t think… I mean I knew it would be… I was....”

“Sandor,” Sansa reached out a hand to touch his chest and it stopped his rambling as he looked down at her. “What’s going on?”

He sighed so deeply that Sansa could feel the warmth of his breath on her face and she tried to smile at him, hoping to calm him but instead he pulled away and took a step backwards. He ran a hand across his face and sighed again and it sounded like utter defeat.

“I am fucking this up. I had things that I thought I'd say but with everything that’s happened I can’t fucking remember a single word.” His voice came out rough and tired and he closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. She saw how his hand moved down into his pants pocket and grasp something. “Fuck, nevermind. Let’s go back inside.”

He turned to leave but Sansa’s heart was racing a mile a minute. Her feet felt rooted to the spot and she was sure she wouldn’t be able to move until he said was on his mind. He was scaring her, worrying her without how he couldn’t seem to find the words he wanted to use to express himself. She had never seen Sandor so frazzled and it scared her more than she thought it would have. Because he was her rock, the strong silent type who didn’t get flustered like this. So she knew it had to be bad.

“Please, you’re worrying me Sandor.” Her words made him whirl back around and with wide eyes he stepped up to her and grasped her hands in his again. The contact as well as the soft look in his eyes calmed her somewhat.

“You deserve this to be perfect and I’m just shit at it. But I guess that won’t change no matter if I try and find the right moment or the right way. That meant I would have to wait forever and I don’t think I can even wait a second longer.” The urgency in his deep voice made her frown and the sudden nerves she could make out in his eyes made her stomach flutter.

_ What’s going on? _

As she watched Sandor pull a box out of his pocket and opening it, it was as if she wasn’t really processing what was happening and that it was real until she heard him clear his throat and her eyes snapped from the beautiful ring to his face and back.

“Sansa,” he said softly and in that moment she realised what he was trying to do. What he was trying to ask her and she felt tears well in her eyes.

“Oh.”


	15. Not according to plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh? Fucking. Oh?
> 
> What does that even mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> So I left you guys with a cliffhanger, that was mean of me. Here is the continuation.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it. Have a great Friday and an amazing weekend!

_ Oh. Fucking. OH? _

Sandor stared down at Sansa, silently willing her to say something, anything more than just the “oh”. What did that even mean? That she was surprised or that she was worried about how she was going to say no?

Her eyes were filled with tears and he was really hoping that they were happy tears but he was too wound up and frazzled to think. He needed her to answer him. It was at that moment, as he looked down into her glistening expecting eyes that he realised that he hadn’t actually asked her what he had meant to.

_ Stupid idiot. You are fucking this up royally. _

His heart was beating a mile a minute as he leaned down to press his forehead against hers. The breath he released was shaky but as her hand came up to cup his cheek he found himself calming down.

“Give me a minute?” he asked and the soft smile tugging at her lips was all the confirmation he needed. His free hand moved to hold onto her hip, keeping her close as he breathed her in and allowed her scent and warmth ground him.

He cleared his throat as he pulled back and looked down at the wonder of a woman that he was holding. She was everything and she deserved so much more than what he had given her, more than he could ever give but for some reason she had chosen him and he didn’t want her to ever regret that choice.

“Sandor.” Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper and it looked as if she was planning on saying more but he needed to talk, to finish this and finally ask her properly.

“Marry me.” He didn’t care that it had only been five months or that people would argue that they didn’t know each other because he had never been more sure about anything in his whole life. He loved her and he wanted her to be his in every way that she could. Just like he wanted to be hers and he held his breath as she smiled up at him. He would fight anyone who tried to take her from him.

She pressed a soft loving kiss on his lips and pulled back only enough to give her answer in a breathless chuckle.

“Yes.”

His hand shook so badly with adrenaline that he almost dropped the ring in the snow, thankfully he didn’t but it wasn’t until it was safely around her finger that he allowed himself to breath.

“It’s called an eternity band. I know it’s not much and when I’ve saved enough you can get any ring that you want,” he said and now tears were falling down her cheeks so fast that he had no hope of wiping them away.

“Don’t you dare change it. I love it. I love you,” she answered and he knew she was telling the truth. With a happy low chuckle of his own he pressed his lips against hers. It was the happiest and purest kiss he had ever had in his life and his mind was reeling with the fact that it was going to be like this for the rest of their lives.

Her arms wound around his neck and when he felt the cool touch of his ring on her finger against the back of his neck he knew he had to do everything to keep her. As his arms wrapped around her he found himself moving from side to side. Sansa was swaying to the soft music coming from inside of the house and he couldn’t help but wonder what a sight they must be. A beauty dancing in the snow with a beast beneath twinkling lights.

“I recognise this song,” he realised and without missing a beat she started to sing along, her voice soft and beautiful in his ear.

“You’re my survival, you’re my living proof. My love is alive and not dead.” It felt strange to him to have such a perfect moment. How was it possible that someone like him was allowed to be this happy? As she continued singing he knew it was all because of her.” And tell me that we belong together. Dress it up with the trappings of love. I’ll be captivated, I’ll hang from your lips.”

As the song continued to play Sansa’s voice turned into a soft humming of the melody and he’d be happy to just stay there with her in his arms for the rest of his life.

_ I am a fucking lucky bastard. _

* * *

“Merry Christmas Fiance.” Sandor hummed in the back of his throat, sleep still had it’s hold on him so instead of opening his eyes he tightened his grip around Sansa and pressed her even closer to his chest.

“Merry Christmas future wife,” he pushed out and slowly opened his eyes to find her blue ones staring at him with wide eyed wonder and love in them. This was the sight that was going to great him every morning from this day until his last and it made him so fucking happy it was fucking ridicilous.

He surged up, capturing her in his arms and pushed his mouth against hers in a firm needy kiss that had her gasping into his mouth. When his hand moved down to cup her ass she put a firm hand on his chest, the same hand that his ring adorned.

“Sandor. My sister is in the other room.” He cursed beneath his breath and then took a deep breath to calm himself.

“How long do we have to stay here again?” he complained, making her chuckle against his mouth.

“Well, the plan was that I fly back on the 27th. Now I guess we drive?” she said shyly and he pressed a firm kiss against her lips in confirmation.

“Two more fucking days? I will go insane if I can’t have you for that long.” To punctuate his point his hand grabbed her ass again and pressed her even closer, causing her to half sigh, half moan when she felt his hardness against her stomach.

“Sandor…” His name came out as a husky whisper as his mouth moved from her mouth across her jaw and proceeded to nip and kiss it’s way down her throat. When he reached her clavicle his tongue darted out and slowly dragged along it. The way she shuddered against him made him grab her ass harder and with a hitch in her breath she threw her leg over his hip, pushing them even closer.

“You’re going to be my wife. All I want is for you to be happy.” The words left his mouth without him realising it, it felt as if it was his heart that was talking and his mind had no control at the moment. One of his hands moved from her ass up her side until he could cup her breast in his palm.

He loved that she slept in the nude now, like him, with their naked skins pressed against each other even in sleep. She claimed it was because he was a living furnace but he was pretty sure that she enjoyed the intimacy just as much as he did.

“We’ll start a life together. We’ll get a house if you want. Maybe a dog. Anything you want, little bird.” Her breath was coming out in short needy gasps as she rocked herself against his leg and the hot feel of that part of her had him panting against her chest. “I just want to make you mine.”

A strangled sob escaped his throat when she grasped his cock and moved it to her entrance. He had barely touched her yet he felt how ready she was for him and he lifted his head to look at her as she slowly pushed him halfway inside of her.

“I love you so fucking much. You own me.” She was the one controlling their rhythm with the slow roll of her hips, his hand on her ass steadying her. It was a delicious torture, this slow pace and shallow thrusts, when all he wanted to do was push as hard and deep as he could into her. The heat in her blue eyes as she took him had him whining and gasping with her movements and when she smiled he pressed a firm kiss against her mouth.

“Please Sansa. Please.” He didn’t recognise the sound of his own voice. It was ladened with so much desperation and need that it sounded high pitched and cracked.

“Sch. They’ll hear you, baby.” Her voice was a husky whisper against his ear as she moved her mouth to kiss beneath it. He wanted to growl out that he didn’t give a shit about that but the words were stolen from him when she pulled away, causing him to pull out of her.

His eyes widened and another whine left his throat when she sat up, breaking every single piece of connection between them. He was just about to grasp her and pull her back when she turned around and laid down again, with her back against his chest.

“Talk to me about our future Sandor.” Her words were soft but he heard the demand in them and eagerly pressed himself against her back, throwing an arm around her and his hand made its way down her stomach until his fingers pushed past her curls and found the small nub that when he pressed it had her pushing her ass into his cock. “What about children?”

He had never thought about children, he had just written it off as something he would never have so why even think about it? But now, as his mind filled with the image of Sansa heavy with their child he pressed his face into her cheek and felt a tear fall. She must have felt it too because she turned her head towards him but before she could ask anything he pressed his mouth to hers in a fierce kiss.

“We’ll have as many kids as you want. As many as you allow me to put in you.” He wanted it desperately, fuck he wanted to start with that right now. “And they will be ours. They’ll be loved.”

He felt like complete raw with such a mess of emotions bubbling on the surface that he almost came when she guided him back inside of her, the sensation of being claimed by her on another level pushing him towards the edge.

As she threw a leg back over his hip, opening her up to him he slowly rocked his hips against hers swallowing every single gasp and moan that threatened to leave her mouth with his own. It was just as much to keep her quiet as it was to dampen the grunts and whines he was making.

_ A family. She wants a family with me. _

It didn’t take long before their pace went from slow and rhythmic to erratic as they both neared their peaks. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck when he felt her clasp down around him and the sound of her moaning his name pushed him across the edge with her.

“You make me so happy Sandor.” Her delicate hand reached back to hold onto his neck as they stayed entwined and joined even after coming down from their highs. “I love you so much.”

They must have dozed off because the next thing he knew he was woken by a sharp knock on the bedroom door. Sansa shifted against him as if she was moving away and with a displeased grunt he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back flush against his chest again.

“Go away,” he grumbled when there was another knock. He could hear Arya’s angry scoff on the other side of the door but he didn’t care if he pissed her off.

“Are you guys decent?” Her voice was laced with annoyance.

“No we are butt naked,” Sandor called back before his attention was pulled from the door to Sansa when she turned her head to press a soft kiss to his nose. He smiled down at her and saw how her face went from happy bliss into object horror when the door was pushed open. Without thinking Sandor pushed himself on top of Sansa, shielding her naked form from view.

“What the fuck?!” Arya screamed before whirling around to face the door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Sandor bellowed as Sansa pressed her bright red face into his chest. “I fucking told you we were naked!”

“I thought you were being sarcastic!” Arya shouted back as Sandor struggled to reach for the covers to pull it over them. It was made harder with how Sansa suddenly started shaking with suppressed laughter beneath him.

“Get out!” he shouted and Arya huffed out a curse but kept her back turned to them, remaining in the room.

“Everyone is downstairs eating breakfast. Mom and dad want you guys to come downstairs right away.” He was about to bark at her that if they wanted to talk they could bloody well come get them themselves but the sudden thought of Ned and Catelyn Stark finding them in the same position made him clamp his mouth shut.

“We’ll be there in a minute,” Sansa pressed out from beneath him and with a loud slam of the door Arya left. “Oh God.”

He didn’t understand what was so funny but he didn’t say anything as Sansa pushed him off her, still laughing. He was too distracted with the full view of her in naked glory, the only thing on her body was his ring and the sight of it there on her hand had him half hard again.

He gave her a smirk as he rolled to his side, giving her a full view of him and she gave him a mock glare that sent tingles down his spine.

“Behave yourself.” Her scolding only made his smirk widen and he reached out and playfully slapped her buttcheek.

“Or what? You’re gonna punish me?” the way her eyebrow curved upwards had his throat going suddenly dry.

“Maybe I will.” She said it flippantly but the look in her eyes had his cock twitching and as her eyes darted down to follow the movement her cheeks flushed. “Come on, let’s get ready before dad or mom comes up to get us themselves.

He cringed at that, making her laugh at the horror on his face.

“Way to kill the mood.” He grumbled as he got out of bed and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “You wanna shower first?”

“We could shower together,” her suggestion was followed by her biting her lower lip and he groaned against the top of her head.

“If you get into the shower with me I won’t let you leave again,” he growled out and watched in fascination as her skin got covered in goosebumps. He had no idea how the sound of his voice could elicit such a reaction in her but it always did.

“I’ll shower first then,” Sansa said before she hurried to wrap her silk robe around herself and disappearing down to the bathroom down the hall. While she showered Sandor pulled out a shirt and his jeans out of his duffel bag and sighed.

_ Time to face the Starks, again. _

Christmas morning apparently was a big deal to the Starks. Even as they descended the stairs Sandor could hear the level of noise coming from the dining room and drew the conclusion that Robb and his family had to be there too.

When they reached the dining room he saw that he was right. Robb was rangeling a dark haired little girl, trying to get her to eat her food while his dark haired wife was watching with a hand on her heavily pregnant stomach. The rest of the Starks were there to as well as Gendry and they all looked up and smiled when they noticed them.

“Merry Christmas!” The loud exclamation was said in a chorus and Sandor couldn’t help but shy back from their cheerful faces. This was so foreign to him that he didn’t know how to react.

“Merry Christmas,” Sansa called back and pulled Sandor by the hand over to the two available seats. The table was covered in another spread of food and Sandor felt fucking starving.

He was in the middle of shoving a large forkful of scrambled eggs and bacon into his mouth when a gasp cut off every single ongoing conversation. Sansa’s hand was suspended in the air, reaching for a slice of toast and Robb’s wife’s hand had shot out and wrapped around her wrist.

“What is that?” Robb’s voice cracked through the silence like a whip and Sansa turned her head to look at Sandor. Her face split into a huge happy smile and he felt like he could breathe again. Sure, he was worried about what the Starks would think but as long as she was happy that was all that mattered to him.

“Sansa?” Catelyn’s voice pulled Sansa’s eyes away from him and he watched as Sansa pulled her hand out of the other woman’s grip and held it up for everyone to see.

“Sandor and I are getting married. He proposed last night.” She said it so proudly that he felt the same pride swell in his chest and he kept his chin high, meeting the surprised faces of her family without cowering.

“Everyone into the kitchen.” Ned’s voice made everyone turn their heads towards them but the older man’s grey eyes were on Sandor’s, staring him down. “Your mother and I need to speak to Sansa and Sandor.”

“We are in the middle of eating,” Bran protested but a sharp glare from his father shut the young man up and without another word being spoken everyone stood and left with their plates in hand.

When it was just the four of them left Sandor felt Sansa’s hand wrap around his but when he looked at her he saw no apprehension, only determination in the set of her jaw and glint in her eyes.

“Are you pregnant?” Catelyn’s words made Sansa gasp and Sandor felt his anger flare up and turn into a growl.

“Because that’s the only reason she would want me, that it?” he growled out and Catelyn looked at him with shock.

“It would explain the rush. You have only been together for a few months.” Sandor kept Catelyn’s eyes and despite the stubborn streak in them he knew that was only half the truth. She had thought what Sandor had voiced too.

“I am not pregnant. We love each other and we want to get married.” Sansa turned her head to look at Sandor and instantly his scowl softened as he saw the love in her eyes. The love she had for him.

“And you didn’t even think to do the decent thing and ask for my permission?” Not even Sansa’s hand in his could keep him from turning his head towards Ned and grit his teeth angrily.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise we were in the 13th century. What is the bride price these days?” Catelyn gasped in shock as Ned’s face darkened with anger. Sandor met his angry glare with one of his own.

“Sandor…” Sansa’s voice was pleading and he knew he wasn’t helping the situation. He didn’t regret his words but he didn’t want her to hurt because of him so he forced himself to take a deep breath.

_ I don’t care about them but she does. They are her family and if I want her to be my family I have to play nice. _

“I love your daughter and I asked her to marry me because I want to spend my life with her. That is something that is between her and me and frankly, your opinion on the matter won’t change that. But it matters to her.” Sandor struggled with keeping his voice level and calm as he looked Ned in the eyes.

“Don’t you think that considering last night’s events that this isn’t the right time?” Ned’s question was directed to Sansa and Sandor saw the anger flash in her eyes. “You were in a very vulnerable state…”

“I hope you are not implying what I think you are daddy. Sandor came here because I was terrified of facing Baelish on my own, he came because I told him I needed him. That is the kind of man he is and it’s only one of the many reasons why I love him.” Sandor felt his chest swell with warmth at her words and dragged his thumb across the back of her hand in a soft caress as she spoke. “I will not put my life on hold because you want to wait for the right time for you. This is our time and our choice. I’d marry him tomorrow if I could.”

_ There are those talons of hers. Shit, how I love her. _

“Like hell…”

“Ned,” Catelyn’s stern voice cut off her husband before he was able to finish his sentence and the look she gave him had Ned taking a step back. There was no question to Sandor who ran this household and this family. And she wasn’t to be trifled with. “I think you and I should talk. You both join your siblings in the kitchen. We will be right there.”

Ned looked like he wanted to protest but instead he just folded his arms across his chest and glared at Sandor. Sandor glared right back until Sansa pulled him to his feet and he followed her through the door. Sandor’s anger settled somewhat when Sansa’s sister-in-law met them and wrapped Sansa in a firm hug, congratulating them with a genuine smile on her face. As Sandor leaned against the wall he watched as her siblings all embraced her and congratulated and the way she smiled at them made his heart feel a little lighter.

“You can’t honestly say that you support this, Cat!” Sandor’s head snapped up when he realised that he could make out Ned’s angry voice on the other side of the door. He knew that if he was found out eavesdropping that probably wouldn’t help his standing with the head Starks but he was too curious not to.

“Of course I’m not. They hardly know each other. But the more you push against this the more you make it happen.” Catelyn’s voice was calmer then her husband’s but Sandor could make out a hint of irritation in it. “She says that this is what she wants.”

“She doesn’t know what she wants! It’s an infatuation.” Ned growled out and Sandor felt himself bristle at that but he kept his face impassive so that the people in the room with him wouldn’t suspect anything.

“The last time we didn’t listen to her she left, Ned. She moved to the other end of the country to get away. I can’t risk losing her over this,” Catelyn’s voice turned emotional and Sandor was surprised that she was the one to come to their defense.

“I want her back home. If she goes through with this there is something else keeping her there.” Sandor’s eyes moved to Sansa and her siblings, all laughing together as they chatted animatedly. He had never had this, such a close knitted family, so he didn’t really get it. How they could be so close and open with each other. But he did understand that of course Sansa had to miss this, having everyone so close. Could he really deny her if she wanted to move back?

“We will just have to hope that they decide on a long engagement and that they realise that they are making a mistake.” His eyes fell down to his boots and a part of him wanted to run over and grab Sansa and take her to the nearest town hall and get married this minute. But he knew her, she was going to want the big white church wedding and he wasn’t going to deny her anything. He was going to prove her parents wrong about them being a mistake.

“What if they don’t? What if you are wrong?” Ned’s voice sounded drained and there was a heavy sigh, Sandor couldn’t make out who had released it.

“Worst case scenario she will be hurt, but she will come home and get past it with our support. Best case scenario she will be happy.”

Catelyn’s words struck a deep chord in Sandor. He desperately wanted the best case scenario to be the outcome. He wanted to make Sansa happy. If that meant giving up everything that had been his life for the last decade, he could do that couldn’t he?

There was a heaviness in his chest, years of self loathing and self hate reminding him that he had nothing to offer her. She came from all of this, from a close knit family who had more money than they knew what to do with. He was a glorified doorman with no family, none that counted, and he was far from able to provide for her like her father had. How could he go through with this if it put a divide between her and her family? How could he make her happy?

He was so deep in his dark thoughts that he didn’t even notice Sansa walking up to him until her hands were cupping his face, tilting it down to look at her. The light and love in her eyes banished the darkness, at least for the moment, and even with a concerned frown she was breathtakingly beautiful.

“Don’t let them ruin this. They’ll come around.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, only meant for him and he leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers. “I love you and I can’t wait to be your wife.”

_ My wife. She’s all I need. But what does she need to be happy? _

“You just say the word Sansa. Whatever you want you’re getting.” He hoped that she would believe his promise even though he feared that he wouldn’t be able to keep it all of the time. “If you want to get married tomorrow we’ll do that. You want a big church wedding, we’ll do that. Whatever you want.”

“Whatever we want,” she corrected as she looked softly into his eyes. “We do this together, right?”

_ Together. I suppose that makes sense. _

“Right.” There was a small smile on her lips and he pressed his lips against it, hoping to feel her happiness and steal some for himself.

Just then the door to the dining room opened and a stern looking Ned stepped into the kitchen, followed by Catelyn who gave Sansa a hesitant smile. Sandor felt Sansa stiffen as she turned to face her parents and he wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her pressed to his side.

“So, it seems we have another reason to celebrate this Christmas.” Ned’s words were delivered completely emotionless but as his eyes turned towards Sansa they softened. “Congratulations kitten. Now, time for presents I think.”

The five year old child shouted in glee and practically jumped from her father’s arms into her grandfather’s who gave her his first genuine smile that Sandor had seen on his face all morning. As the others followed the patriarch, his wife lingered in the kitchen and intercepted Sansa and Sandor as they moved to follow the others.

“We are happy for you. It will just take some time to process everything. It’s been a very emotional few days.” Sansa gave her mother a slight smile and a one armed hug and it was a relief to Sandor. He was pretty sure that Catelyn didn’t want to see them married but at least she was being civil and not acting out against it. Sandor had no delusions on it being for his benefit, it was all for Sansa and that he could get behind.

“Your present is back home. I hadn’t expected to celebrate Christmas with you here after all,” Sansa whispered as they sat down on the couch in the den. Ned was already handing out presents to the family who had spread out in the room.

“This one is for Rickon,” Ned read as his granddaughter eagerly helped him hand out the presents. Rickon, who was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, accepted his present with a happy smile towards his niece.

“Don’t worry about it. Your present is back home too,” he whispered back to Sansa who looked at him with wide eyes.

“Sandor, you already gave me a beautiful gift.” She smiled down at her ring and it made his heart skip a beat to see the happiness on her face when she looked at it. “I don’t need anything else.”

“Yeah well, you’re getting something else too. Deal with it.” The smirk he gave her had her beaming up at him before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Ew, auntie don’t you know that boys have cooties?” Sandor’s head turned to the side and he looked right into the dark brown eyes of Sansa’s niece. She was holding a present that obviously was meant for Sansa and her eyes were wide.

“Actually Hannah, when two people love each other they don’t get cooties when they kiss.” The girl seemed to take Sansa’s word as the truth because she nodded solemnly and then turned her attention back to Sandor.

“My mommy says you are going to marry my auntie.” Her voice and face was serious as she seemed to measure him up. “That means you’re going to be my uncle.”

Sandor felt everyone’s eyes on their exchange and even without all of the attention he would have felt out of his fucking depth here. The little girl was looking at him expectantly and Sandor had no idea what to say.

“Eh… I guess it does.” The girls pleased smile told him that it had been the right answer and in the next second the little girl climbed onto the couch and wiggled her way in between him and Sansa. She turned her head up towards Sandor and gave him a firm look.

“Are you going to tease me? Rickon and Bran always tease me.” The glare she threw towards her uncles told him that was a bad thing.

“No I would never, little dove.” The nickname slipped out without him thinking about it and he heard Sansa’s breath hitch. The little girl giggled happily and he held his breath as she leaned her head against his arm. “I can make them stop teasing you if you want.”

There was an indignant snort coming from where Rickon was sitting and it caused the little girl to turn her head towards him and glare.

“You be nice. Or uncle Sandor will make you. He’s big so he can.” The angry pout softened as she turned her attention back to Sandor and it felt like he had least had one Stark on his side.

“This present is for Hannah,” Ned called out and the little girl held out her arms expectantly. With a quick glare at Sandor Ned crossed the room and gave his granddaughter the box.

“It’s from me and Sandor.” Sandor turned his head to look at Sansa who gave him a soft smile. He was yet again surprised with how she kept including him, making him a part of this piece of her life. 

The little girl squealed louder than someone her size should be able to and then she was wrapping her arms around his neck, shocking him with her hug.

She was holding firmly to a doll that looked like a princess of some kind, white haired with a blue dress. He had no idea why it was such a big deal but he still found himself holding her to him with one large hand across her back.

“Thank you uncle Sandor!” Everytime the little girl insisted on calling him uncle it felt like his heart swelled and when his eyes met Sansa’s over the little girl's head he saw the happy tears there and he felt a lot lighter.

_ Maybe this won’t be so hard. At least the kid seemed to like me well enough. A tiny human on your side still counts as one person on your side. _

“You’re welcome, little dove.”

He would handle all of the rest, all of the resistance to them being together just to see Sansa smile at him like she was in that moment. He didn’t care what the other Starks thought of him or if her parents hated him. Because she loved, she chose him and that was all that mattered.

_ She is going to be my wife and I’ll be her husband. We will have each other. _


	16. Why does it have to be this hard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to plan a wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story is still alive. It's just been at the back burner for a bit. I started writing this without a clear path or plan for it and I ended up stuck, trying to get it to the place I wanted was a struggle for a bit. That struggle turned into this chapter and it might be a bit of a filler but I still hope you will like it.
> 
> I also hope that you stay safe and healthy!

Sansa heard the door to the apartment open and smiled towards the bedroom door. She recognised Sandor’s heavy footsteps and her heart skipped a beat. They had been living together for two months now, having moved in together the same day that they came back from her parents.

That visit hadn’t gone at all the way she had thought. It had been horrible in some ways and amazing in others. Sandor had shown her how much he loved her by driving up north because she needed him and then he had committed to a future for them. She twirled the engagement ring on her finger and just then the door opened. Sandor leaned against the doorway as he took her in splayed on their bed.

It was his bed, that and the tv was the only thing that he had moved down to her apartment. This bed was larger than her old one and even if she starfished in it, like she did now, she didn’t touch the edges and it had him grinning at her.

“You went back to bed?” his tone was teasing and with a wide smile she held up the book she was reading.

“It’s Saturday. I get to be lazy.” With a smirk he pushed off the doorframe and strode over to the bed and she couldn’t keep in a squeal when he threw himself at the bed. He landed on his knees and hands, holding his body above hers and she couldn’t keep in a giggle when he grinned down at her.

“Did you and Bronn have a good workout?” she asked as his still damp hair tickled her cheek.

“Yeah. And I got some of those cinnamon buns that you like from the bakery,” he said and his voice took on that deep raspy quality that always made her shiver.

“You are too good to me Mr Clegane,” she reached up to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“That’s not possible, future Mrs Clegane.” Her face flushed in happy pleasure, like it always did when he called her that. She had noticed that he enjoyed saying it as much as she enjoyed hearing it. The only thing she could imagine to be better was when he would be able to take away the “future”. 

“Well the future Mrs Clegane would really enjoy those cinnamon buns in bed.” He wrapped his arms around her and rolled to the side, pulling her with him. His strong arms pulled her tighter against him and she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.

It was in moments like this that she knew, no matter what her parents thought, that Sandor was the man for her. This strong, large, imposing man was so soft, caring and sweet with her. He was her man and he was going to be her husband. He wasn’t perfect and neither was she but they were perfect for each other. She could only hope that with time her family would see that too.

“Have you been talking to your mom about the wedding?” She could hear the concern in his voice and it made her lift her head to look him in the eyes.

“Yeah. Since we decided on a summer wedding and to have it up north...” she hesitated a moment to give him a chance to interject in case he changed his mind but he just kept her gaze. “Mom has been checking out venues for us that fit in our time frame. Next time we travel up there we will check out the ones that made her cut.”

They had both agreed that they didn’t want to wait too long with getting married. Sansa knew that eight months was a short time to plan a wedding but she knew that they would be able to make it how they want it, with the help of her parents. Sandor had told her that he would follow her lead and that he just wanted her to be happy. Sometimes that approach warmed her heart but when he said the same thing when it came down to make a decision it could frustrate the hell out of her. 

“You still want to hold the ceremony in Godswood?” He couldn’t keep the distaste on his face and it made her frown up at him. It had been the one thing that he hadn’t been too keen on and she knew he wasn’t religious. But it was important to her to be married in the same place as the rest of her family had. To her it wasn’t a matter of religion but of tradition and she wanted him to understand that. 

“I do.” She expected him to argue or to put it up for discussion again but he simply nodded and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “We have to get started on the guest list too so that we know how many people we will have. Do you think you could write a list this week?”

“Don’t need to.” His voice came out curt and short and it made her pull away slightly. He frowned down at her and his arms tightened around her. “Bronn. And a plus one for him, I guess. That’s it.”

“What? There is no one else you want to come?” she asked and she couldn’t keep her surprise out of her voice or her face.

“No.” There was no hesitation in his response and the shock of it made her try to sit up. He tried to keep his hold on her but when she kept pulling back he released her. He remained lying down, holding his head up with his hand, looking at her with a concerned frown. “What’s wrong?”

“You don’t want any people at the wedding?” The confused hurt must have been visible on her face because his eyes softened as he sat up to face her.

“I don’t have that many people in my life that matter. Just you and Bronn.” He reached out his large hand and as it cupped her cheek she felt her eyes sting with tears because she knew the heartache he had gone through at a young age. “I didn’t have any family before you. It has just been me for years.”

The tears fell down her cheeks as she thought of the notepad in the kitchen with a long list of names and she felt so stupid and silly. In her head she had pictured this big vibrant wedding with all of their friends and family but all that mattered to Sandor was them. He didn’t care if they had a certain kind of flowers or what the colour of the table cloths should be. He obviously didn’t want the big wedding and it shouldn’t have surprised her. That was just who he was and she loved him.

_ I really am a silly little rich girl. _

“Okay. You’ve got Bronn and his plus one. I’ll invite Margaery and if we apply now we could probably have the wedding license by the weekend.” Her mind was running a mile a minute as she jumped off the bed and walked over to the closet, rummaging through her closet. “I have this white lace summer dress that could work as my dress. And you can wear your black suit.”

“Sansa…” She felt his warmth behind her but she didn’t stop looking through her dresses. The tears were still falling down her cheeks and she wasn’t even sure why she was crying anymore. “Sansa.”

His strong hand grasped her shoulders and spun her around to face him. She couldn’t bear to look at him so instead she pressed her face into his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head and she knew it was the right thing to do. They would have a wedding with just them, because they were what mattered.

“It’s okay. We’ll just have a party or something with my family later. They’ll understand.” She wasn’t sure that they would. Her mother would probably disapprove of a courthouse wedding but she wasn’t what mattered. What mattered was the man in her arms and she didn’t want him to feel obligated to do something he didn’t want to do.

“Sansa…” when he said her name again in that soft tender tone she pressed her face even closer but he pushed back and grabbed her chin between his forefinger and thumb, tilting it up so that she looked at him. “We both know that’s not what you want.”

“But it’s what you want. You shouldn’t have to go through with the big wedding just because it’s something I want.” His eyes looked down at her with impossible tenderness and despite how ferocious she knew people could see him as this was the Sandor she knew. This was her Sandor. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Well I want you to be happy too. But if you really want me to be happy there is one thing I really want for our wedding.” She held her breath as he smiled down at her. “I am really looking forward to seeing you in a wedding dress. I want that experience.”

“But a wedding dress can take months to have prepared.” His only response was a slight twitch to one side of his lips and then he picked her up and moved back to the bed. She gasped when he simply leaned back and fell down on the bed with her cradled to his chest.

“I want the wedding up North in the Godswood with your family there. Because that’s what you’ve always wanted and now I can’t picture it any other way.” She wasn’t sure what she had done in her life to deserve someone who loved her the way he did. But she wasn’t going to question it, she was going to revel in it and try her hardest to make sure he felt as loved as she did.

“We could skip the whole bride and groom seating at the ceremony and just have it mixed. And if you come up with someone else you want there we’ll keep a few places open.” His only response was a soft kiss to her forehead and she closed her eyes as she rested her head against his chest. “Can we eat the cinnamon buns now?”

His chest shook with his deep laughter and she pressed a kiss to the space where his shoulder and neck met.

_ I love you so much. _

* * *

Margaery was grinning widely at them as she sat across from Sansa and Sandor. Bronn was sitting next to her and he hadn’t thrown Sandor or her a second glance once Margaery had entered the restaurant. He only had eyes for the woman next to him and Sansa found it sweet that he seemed so instantly smitten.

“Bronn. For fuck sake man!” Bronn jumped and hissed when Sandor kicked him in the shin and Sansa had to bite her lip to keep in her laughter as Bronn gave Sandor a wounded look.

“What the fuck was that for?” he spit out and Sandor nodded towards the server how was waiting expectantly by their table. “Oh, shit sorry. I’ll have an IPA. And the steak with mashed potatoes.”

As soon as he had given his order he turned his face back towards Margaery and gave her the flirties grin Sansa had ever seen. Margaery raised an eyebrow at him, looking completely unimpressed, before she turned her attention back to Sansa and Sandor.

“So. As you both know we are getting married in August.” Sansa couldn’t help but turn her head and smile up at Sandor who leaned down to press a light kiss to her wide smile and she felt her cheeks flush. “We asked you out for dinner tonight because we would be honoured if you both would be the maid of honour and the best man.”

“Dibs on maid of honour,” Bronn quipped and Margaery gave him an unamused glare before she reached her hand out to grab Sansa’s. Bronn turned his attention to Sandor then and grinned. “Told you I was your best friend.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Sandor spat but that only made Bronn’s grin widen.

“Oh my god! I would love to be your maid of honour! I have to start planning your bachelorette party right away!” Margaery pointedly ignored the men and gave Sansa a wickedly pleased smile. It made Sandor shift a little next to her and when Sansa turned her head to look at him she saw that there was a slight frown on his forehead. 

“Nothing too crazy right?” Sansa asked but Margaery only winked at her.

“Nothing crazier than the things the boys will get up to.” That didn’t reassure Sansa one bit. Her idea of the perfect bachelorette party would be a day at a spa, getting pampered and then a nice dinner and some dancing. She had a feeling that Margaery’s plans probably would be the opposite of relaxing.

“Oh we will get up to some crazy shit,” Bronn interjected and that earned a dark glare from Sandor.

“No we won’t,” he bit out but that only made Bronn’s grin widened.

“Oh yes we will.” Sansa couldn’t keep in her laugh then and while Sandor glared at her Bronn lit up with delight. “It’s your last night of freedom, of course you have to go crazy.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s not my fucking last night of freedom. Marriage is not a bloody prison,” Sandor said sharply and Sansa leaned her head against his shoulder.

Maybe it was a weird thing to find sweet but it was just such a Sandor thing to say that it warmed her chest with the affection and love she felt for the man next to her. Margaery’s eyes held hers from across the table and the soft happy look in them made Sansa smile back at her friend.

“So how far along in the planning are we? What’s the next big thing to decide on?” Margaery asked and to her surprise Sandor leaned forward over the table.

“There’s the cake and menu left. That’s basically the only part where I have any say.” Sansa glared at him but he didn’t seem fazed by it at all.

“You know that’s not true! It’s the only part that you have shown any interest in!” She caught the slight twitch in Sandor’s lip then and realised that he had been teasing her. “Watch it or there will be no chicken on the menu.”

Sandor's eyes widened in horror and she held his eyes with a stern glare. It must have been convincing because he ducked his head and pressed a soft kiss against her shoulder in apology and she smiled at him.

“My mother and sister-in-law are coming down next weekend for dress shopping,” Sansa told Margaery who looked almost giddy with excitement. “It’s going to be great.”

“Yeah… great…” She turned her head to look at Sandor who just shook his head slightly. Sansa knew that Sandor hadn’t really gotten along with her family so she couldn’t blame him for not being thrilled, she just hoped that he would at least be civil. 

* * *

“Oh, Sansa.” Her mother’s eyes were watery as they locked with hers in the mirror and it made Sansa’s well up too.

“You look beautiful,” Talisa said with a beaming smile and Margaery nodded in agreement. It was the third dress she had tried on and there had been this slight jump in her chest when she had put it on. Both her mother and Talisa had said that she would know that she found her dress and she hadn’t really understood what they had meant. She understood it now.

“Do you think Sandor will like it?” Her heart skipped as she tried to picture the look on his face when she walked down the aisle towards him. How his grey eyes would widen and turn soft, the way they always did when he saw her. She felt a tear escape down her cheek when she imagined him getting emotional but trying to keep it from showing. She would be able to tell though, he couldn’t hide his feelings from her.

Sansa had been so caught up in the moment she had tried to picture that it took her a while to realise that neither her mother nor Talisa had answered her question. Instead they looked at each other with uneasy eyes and it made Sansa’s happiness deflate like a balloon running out of air.

“He’ll be gobsmacked,” Margaery said, her words cutting through the tension as she stood and hurried over to Sansa. “I saw a lace veil earlier that I think will really make this hit home.”

Sansa gave her friend a smile and turned around to face her mother while Margaery hurried over to another part of the bridal shop. Her mother still wasn’t talking, she only held Sansa’s eyes and Sansa said a silent prayer that her mother would be civil towards Sandor when they all went out for brunch tomorrow. 

It hurt her that her parents couldn’t see how good Sandor was, that they couldn’t look past his rough exterior but a part of her could also understand them. It wasn’t like he was open with them like he was with her, he reserved that part of him for when they were alone and despite how much she loved him for being able to be so soft and gentle with her she wished he could show her parents that. If only for the selfish reason that she didn’t want to have to argue or defend her relationship with him to them. 

When Margaery returned with a gorgeous vintage looking lace veil, that complimented the dress Sansa was trying perfectly, Sansa almost wept. Having the veil put on just made everything even more real. In just a few months she would be wearing this dress on her wedding day and she would become Sansa Clegane. She would be married to a man who loved her more than anything and she knew he would always fight to keep her happy and safe.

“What do you think, mom?” Sansa asked with a tremble in her voice. Her mother’s eyes were soft and filled with wonder as she stood and walked up to Sansa.

“You will make such a beautiful bride. Your dad will cry his eyes out when he sees you.” Sansa didn’t miss the fact that she didn’t mention Sandor but she let it slide because she didn’t want to start a discussion or make a scene in the beautiful store.

“This is the dress,” Sansa said with a happy smile and the store attendant gave her a brilliant smile before helping her back to the changing room.

Once they had taken Sansa’s measurements and they had paid for the dress and the veil they made their way down to a restaurant and got themselves some food and wine.

“So tomorrow you guys can come over to our place for brunch. Sandor and I went to the farmer’s market this morning and…” Sansa started excitedly but was cut off by the way her mother’s face fell.

“Actually. We can’t come to brunch. We have to drive back first thing in the morning.” Sansa couldn’t keep the disappointment she felt from showing on her face. It was the first time her mother was visiting her and she hadn’t even seen the apartment yet.

She knew the lack of visits was due to her parents disapproval of her choice to move. They had been more than blunt with their opinions on it, back when they didn’t have the full story, but Sansa had hoped that now that they knew everything they wouldn’t be as opposed to it. A part of her felt that her mother’s choice to leave earlier than they had first planned was because of Sandor. Was she really that against him that she couldn’t even sit down and have brunch, for Sansa’s sake?

“Hannah has a dance recital and she wants everyone to be there,” Talisa explained as if she had been able to tell where Sansa’s mind had gone. “I’m sorry, I had the dates mixed up and I didn’t want you to have to reschedule your appointment.”

The image of her niece dressed up in her dance outfit and performing made Sansa’s mood lighten slightly. But then she remembered that she wasn’t one of the people that counted in as “everyone”. Not anymore. 

“She is still doing street dance?” Sansa forced herself to smile at her sister-in-law who reached out a hand to squeeze hers on the table.

“She is and she loves it. She and her dad have been practicing her routine every night.” Sansa couldn’t help but laugh at the image of her older brother, with his two left feet, trying to keep up with his daughter. “I swear, he is this close to turning into one of those moms on Dance Moms.”

“I think that is a little unfair Talisa. You shouldn’t tease Robb for being an attentive and involved father,” Catelyn interjected and Talisa gave Sansa a quick eye roll. Her mother had never been good at hiding the fact that Robb was her golden child and in her book could do no wrong.

_The heir that was promised_, Arya used to call him with biting sarcasm. Sansa and Arya had always had a bit of a strained relationship, since they were so different, but in this moment she wished that her younger sister had been able to come. Not that she would have been excited by wedding dress shopping but it felt like Arya was the only one who understood what it was like to experience their mother’s silent disapproval. It hurt and Sansa was never going to judge her sister again for not wanting to keep some pieces of her life to herself. It was no wonder that she hadn’t brought Gendry to meet their parents for four years. If Sandor hadn’t been there to take the brunt of their disapproval things would probably not have gone as smoothly for him.

“You’ll see it for yourself tomorrow Catelyn,” Talisa said and took a sip of her wine. Margaery looked slightly uncomfortable but gave Sansa a small smile.

“Perhaps we should see if there is anything left that needs to be decided on for the wedding?” Catelyn suggested and when the other’s agreed she pulled out a large white binder from her tote bag. “I still need your measurements for the bridesmaids dress, Margaery.”

“I’ll email that to you tomorrow,” Margaery quickly promised and Catelyn gave her a stern look as if to say that she’d better.

“Sandor and I are doing a cake tasting on monday afternoon. Once we have decided which one we want I will let you know.” Catelyn nodded and wrote something down before looking up at Sansa again.

“And I got a confirmation that the reservation for the country club yesterday so now we have a venue for the reception done as well,” Catelyn said and Sansa stiffened.

“What? We agreed that you would look for options and then Sandor and I would decide.” Catelyn gave Sansa a stern look that made Sansa feel like she was ten and had broken one of her mother’s many rules.

“The country club was the only place that was available on such short notice. Everything else was already booked,” Catelyn explained with a wave of her hand. “Perhaps we should push the wedding back to next year if you want to have more options.”

Sansa felt her nostrils flare as she released a harsh breath but she bit the inside of her cheek to keep the angry comment from escaping.

_ You’d like that wouldn’t you? _

“You’re right. The location isn’t that important. What matters is that Sandor and I are getting married as soon as possible.” Catelyn looked as if she was about to argue that it wasn’t what she had meant but her mother caught herself and gave her a small smile.

“I think I need to head to the ladies room.” Margaery’s words broke the tense silence and Talisa quickly got up to follow her.

It left Sansa and her mother staring at each other across the table and Sansa hated how wide the distance felt. She had always thought that she was close with her parents but while growing up the pressure of living up to her mother’s expectations and high standards had suffocated that. Sansa had always been eager to please them but now it felt like it didn’t matter what she did. They weren’t happy with her choices but she didn’t regret them. She would never regret moving her because it had led her to Sandor. She would never regret choosing him, no matter what her parents thought.

“I do wish you could slow down, dear.” Catelyn’s words were spoken carefully and her eyes seemed to almost plead with Sansa to understand what she was trying to say. “If you love each other then why do you need to rush things?”

“We aren’t rushing. We have our own pace and this is what we both want. I wish you and dad could accept that. I wish you could accept that I love him and support us.” Sansa felt tears well up in her eyes but she tried to blink them away. She wasn’t going to cry in public, she wasn’t going to embarrass herself like that.

“Sweetheart, your father and I just want what is best for you. And we do want to support you.” Sansa couldn’t help but scoff at that, a sound that reminded her of Sandor and thinking about him eased the ache in her chest a little. Her mother seemed less than impressed with her way of expressing herself and with a pinch in her brow she pulled a sheet of paper out of her bag. “In fact, your father and I have something we want to give you, the both of you. You could say that it is a joint engagement and wedding present.”

With a soft smile her mother pushed the paper across the table and Sansa felt the breath sucked out of her as she took in the writing on it. Her face twisted in disbelief as she looked at her mother who looked at her with loving eyes.

“Are you serious?” Sansa gasped out and Catelyn nodded.

“Yes. We want you both to know that we do support you. This is our way of showing it.” Sansa’s eyes filled up with tears again and her mother stood to put her arms around her. “We love you, sweetheart.”

* * *

Sansa’s mind was still twirling in a million directions as she got home after having dropped her mother and sister-in-law off at their hotel. The whole day had been an emotional whirlwind and she felt drained. She just wanted to sleep for hours and put off processing everything for tomorrow.

“Sansa?” She jumped at the sound of Sandor’s deep rumble and clutched her chest as her heart rate slowed down. Sandor got up from where he had been sitting on the couch and stepped up to her.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” she asked confused and he frowned down at her. To make up for her blunt question and harsh tone she stood on her toes and pressed a soft kiss against his mouth. It seemed to make him relax again and he shrugged.

“I am heading out in a minute. I just wanted to see you first and see how the day went,” he said and she pressed her forehead against the white shirt that was straining against his muscular chest. “You weren’t answering my texts.”

“I’m sorry, today was just a lot…” His large hand grasped her chen and tilted her head up to make her look at him. His grey eyes were filled with concern and she didn’t try to hide how tired she was from him.

“That bad?” he asked and she could see by the way his jaw clenched that he was imaging her mother being the cause of it. “Your mother giving you grief over me? I’ll fucking tell her to mind her own good damn business...”

Sansa pulled away from him and she was so tired of feeling torn between her family and the man she loved. Why did this have to be so hard? It shouldn't have to be. Why couldn’t they just get along?

“No Sandor, that’s not it at all.” It wasn’t completely true but she hoped that he wouldn’t catch on to her half lie. His brow furrowed in disbelief and his scoff reminded her of the one she had thrown at her mother. “She told me that they do support us.”

“I’ll believe that when I fucking see it,” he growled out and it annoyed her that he was just as hostile himself. Couldn’t he see that he wasn’t helping things?

“Well believe it!” she exclaimed angrily and the way he rolled his eyes made her grit her teeth. “They want to buy us a house!”

She hadn’t planned on telling him about their gift like this. She had planned on telling him everything tomorrow, when they could talk about it over breakfast. She had snapped it out and she could see by the way Sandor’s eyes widened that he had been caught completely off guard.

“What?”

“My mom told me today. They want to show us that they do support us and they have offered to buy us a house, as their wedding gift to us.” Sansa knew that it was a lot to take in. Getting a house was a big thing and she herself had felt overwhelmed when her mother had told her so she couldn’t blame Sandor if it took him a moment to process what she was telling him.

What she hadn’t expected was the way his eyes darkened and his face twisted into a snarl.

“Let me fucking guess. They have already picked it out and it’s up north, close to their own?” His voice came out as a low angry rasp and when she hesitated he released a dark laugh. “I fucking knew it.”

Sansa’s cheeks flushed and she wasn’t sure why but the way Sandor was looking at her like she was stupid made her want to rage and scream at him. She had countless people look at her that way, like she was stupid and naive and she hated it. He wasn’t supposed to look at her that way, he was supposed to be the one who knew she was anything but those things.

“They just want us to be together like a family,” she protested and he took a step back as he crossed his arms over his chest. “They want us to feel included.”

“We are not accepting their charity. I will not be in their fucking debt.” His voice came out harsh and stern and it made Sansa’s back stiffen.

“It’s a gift! There is no debt, Sandor.” He looked up at the ceiling and the way his shoulders fell made her heart ache painfully.

“Yeah? And say that we did move up north, what would I do then? I wouldn’t have a job and what kind of a husband would I be if I can’t provide for you?” Sansa’s anger made her face flare red and she took a step further into the room, trying to put some distance between them.

“I have never said that you have to provide for me Sandor! We are supposed to be partners and that means figuring things out together. And I am sure that if you’d want my dad would have a position for you at his company,” she offered and his face twisted even more as his anger increased.

“That is not fucking happening! There is no way in hell that I am living in a house that your father paid for, working at a job where daddy dearest signs the fucking checks. I might just as well cut my balls off and hand him them on a silver fucking platter!” his voice reached a booming level as he shouted and she flinched back.

“It wouldn’t be like that! You would know that if you would make an effort with them!” she cried back and tried to fight back the angry tears that were threatening to fall.

What was happening? Why was he so angry with her?

“They are trying to control you,” he bit back and his eyes darkened even more when she shook her head.

“No, they are not! They are trying to give us their support!”

“You can’t be stupid enough to believe that Sansa,” he growled out and Sansa reared back as if he had struck her. His words had, they had struck her right in her heart and the tears she was fighting were no longer angry ones.

“Why are you acting like this?” she asked and hated how her voice wavered.

“Like what?” he growled and his anger fueled her own then.

“Like an unreasonable asshole!” she exclaimed and he released a true growl then.

“Maybe because I am one! I thought you knew that since you agreed to marry me.” Sansa looked at him in disbelief, feeling her heart clench painfully.

“What about all the things you said? About how you’d move anywhere and do anything as long as it meant that you could be with me?” she asked and watched his angry face with her chest filled with dread. “Did you mean it or were they just words?”

“Maybe they just were,” he spat at her and her fingers instantly went to the ring around her finger. The ring that had given her so much joy and so much comfort. At this moment it just felt heavy and it’s beauty tainted. 

His hard grey eyes followed the movement of her fingers and he took a step closer, staring down at her with eyes filled with rage.

“What? You want to take that off now, that it?” he snarled out and his scarred side pulled with his harsh words. “Let me tell you something, if that ring comes off it’s not getting back on. You fucking hear me?”

Sansa didn’t recognise the man standing in front of her. This man with his face twisted in anger and his eyes filled with rage wasn’t her Sandor. Her Sandor would never say such hurtful things. How could this be the man that she had fallen in love with?

_ Who are you? _

Had she been this wrong about Sandor? How could she have thought that she knew him after so little time? The gentle, kind and affectionate large man seemed miles away from the angry one she had in front of her now. Which one was the real one? Were they both the real him or had he been hiding this side of himself all along?

“Get out.” Her voice cracked through the tension like a whip and his eyes widened a fraction as he looked down at her. Her face was red with anger as her cheeks turned wet with tears. He reared back at her loud shout and she threw her arms out angrily. 

“Get the fuck out!”

For a second he hesitated but then he whirled around and with the slam of the door he was gone. The sudden silence that followed made Sansa gasp for air and with a sob she sat down on the floor. 

The weaker part of her wanted him to come back, to tell her that he had been wrong and that he would do anything to make it up for her. 

Could she forgive him? The part of her that still wanted him wanted too, her heart wanted him to take her in his arms and make the pain go away but her head was in charge, reminding her that he was the one that had hurt her. How he had glared at her like she was the epitome of everything wrong in this world and told her what he really thought of her.

She cried as the minutes passed and he didn’t come back. 

_ Why did I have to let him into my heart so quickly? Why did I have to be so naive? _


	17. Angry c*nts don't get happy endings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Sandor deal with everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't plan on uploading the next chapter just yet but you guys' responses to the last one just blew me away and I decided to share some more with you.
> 
> small picset:  
Thank you Sassak😘  
[Picset Chapter 17](https://islandida.tumblr.com/post/614226382151614464/peanut-butter-chapter-17-angry-cnts-dont-get)

Sandor had been so fucking angry that he had been shaking while driving to the club. How could she be so fucking gullible and then get angry at him for pointing it out? How could she not see what her mother had been playing at? Or did she just want her mother to be okay with them so badly that she ignored all the warning signs?

The anger didn’t leave him as he worked but thankfully his angry snarl as he kept his eyes on the floor only helped keep the drunk idiots in line.

By the time the club had closed he was seated at the bar, throwing back his fourth glass of scotch. His anger had deflated by the third glass and now it was replaced by a sharp sting in his chest that he hoped the alcohol would numb.

“What the hell are you still doing here?” Bronn’s hand came down firmly on his shoulder and Sandor winced at the contact. He didn’t feel like explaining what had happened to Bronn. Fuck, he wasn’t even sure what the hell had happened. Other than that he had exploded at her and she hadn’t deserved that. Yeah, she had been naive and stupid. But he would never be able to shake the wounded look she had given him at his harsh words.

“Seriously, if I had a beauty like yours waiting for me in my bed I would be the first one out of here,” Bronn teased good naturedly and with a grunt Sandor downed the rest of his drink. He felt the other man’s eyes on him and he released a heavy sigh. “What the fuck happened?”

“Can I crash at your place?” Sandor ignored Bronn’s question in favour of asking his own.

“Fuck no.” Bronn’s answer came with an angry scoff and Sandor turned his head to glare at him.

“What the hell man? So much for claiming being my best friend.” Bronn’s blue eyes were hard as steel as he stared Sandor down before snatching the bottle out of his reach.

“I  _ am  _ your best friend. That’s why I am telling you no. Go home and sort this out. Beg if you have to.” Sandor growled at him then and tried to take the bottle back. Bronn’s asshole behaviour made Sandor’s anger flare up again and it felt better than the hurt.

“I aint fucking begging when I’ve done nothing wrong,” Sandor spat out harshly as he grabbed a different bottle from behind the bar. He didn’t even bother with checking what kind before he poured himself a full glass.

“So you didn’t let your temper get the better of you? Cause that’d be a first.” Sandor decided the best option was ignoring Bronn, hopefully it would make him go away. Sandor took a big swig of his drink and scrunched his face up in disgust when the vodka hit his tongue. It helped him with the slight buzz he was nursing so he downed the rest of the glass.

“She fucking hates me right now.” Without him meaning to he ended up turning his head towards Bronn and telling him everything. How Sansa’s parents hated him, how they had offered to buy them a house in a bid to control their future. He told him how he had exploded when she had refused to see the truth of it. “Her fucking parents hate my guts. They want nothing to do with me because they think that I’m not right for her.”

“In what way?” Bronn asked and Sandor poured himself another glass to quell the new wave of hurt that surged into his chest.

“Look at me. I am nobody. I’ve got nothing to offer. No financial security. She’s used to the finer things in life and she ended up with me. I can’t give her the things she deserves.” He knew it was all true. He knew it and the Starks knew it. That was why they had offered to buy the house. Because they knew that Sandor couldn't provide the same standard of life as their daughter deserved.

“I highly doubt Sansa thinks that. She chose you didn’t she? Her opinion is the only one that should matter.” Sandor scoffed at that and hung his head.

“Her family matters to her. I want to be fine with them but they keep looking at me like there is no way that I can take care of her. Like I am not even worthy of being in her presence.” It fucking hurt to say it out loud. What was worse was that if everyone else but Sansa saw it then how could it not be true? Would it just be a matter of time until Sansa realised it too? 

_ Maybe she is realising it right now. _

Sandor didn't have anything more to say and neither did Bronn. Instead they sat there in silence and kept refilling their glasses for a long time.

“You don’t have to sit here with me, you know. You can go,” Sandor offered and realised his words slurred slightly. Bronn scoffed as he downed another glass of scotch and ran his hand through his mussed hair.

“What kind of best man would I be if I didn’t get shit faced with you?” he asked and Sandor buried his face in his hands.

“I don’t think the wedding is happening anymore. I told her that all the promises I had made her was just words. I fucking ripped everything apart.”

“Okay, that’s it!” Sandor flinched when Bronn jumped to his feet and knocked his chair over in his hurry. The other man grabbed the bar to steady himself and Sandor glared at him. “You are coming with me!”

The alcohol slowed Sandor’s reflexes and it was probably the only reason that Bronn was able to grab him by the back of his jacket and drag him off the chair. He felt so fucking deflated that he didn’t even fight Bronn as he pulled him outside. The cold spring rain hit Sandor's face, making him drag in a shaky breath and then he turned towards Bronn.

“Where to?”

“You are going home and you are making this right.” Sandor vemently shook his head at Bronn’s words but Bronn gave him a dangerous glare. Sandor knew that Bronn was ex military and he would have no problem with taking him down. Being as drunk as Sandor was, he was an easy target.

“Not fucking happening. She won’t want me there.” His words were supposed to be strong and angry but to his ears his voice sounded pitiful and sad.

"It's a possibility. You just have to remind her why she fell in love with your sorry ass to begin with and make her do it again.” Bronn sounded so sure and Sandor wanted to think that it was that easy but there was no way that it was.

“We are too different. It’s better this way.” Sandor didn’t even see the slap coming, he didn’t react until it hit his cheek and he reared back with wide eyes.

“Did you just fucking bitchslap me?!” Bronn’s slap hadn’t been that hard, it had just taken Sandor off guard and he felt the rage well up in him, making him clench his fists as he glared down at the other man.

“If you are going to bitch you're going to get slapped,” Bronn said with a hard glare. “And quit it with this being better off shit. For who? Cause it sure as shit isn’t better for you. And I doubt that Sansa is very happy right now. She is probably bawling her eyes out because of you.” 

The image of Sansa’s hurt eyes as she cried made Sandor want to shrivel up and die. It caused a physical pain in his chest and he wanted it gone. With a low growl he reached out and grabbed Bronn by his shirt and lifted the man’s feet off the ground. Anger was better, anger he could understand.

“What? You wanna take your anger out on me now? What the hell has your rage ever done but made you miserable and alone?” Bronn’s angry words made Sandor deflate and he hung his head in defeat as he released his friend.

“Angry cunts don't get happy endings.” Sandor’s voice came out in a low whisper and he knew, he knew that it was too late to fix things. There was no way that she was going to forgive the horrible things he had said. How could she?

His grey eyes turned to Bronn who gave him a small smile. Bronn somehow thought that there was a chance, why else would he be pushing him towards it?

“Now, get your sorry ass home and you talk to the woman who loves you enough to want to marry you and you make it right. I don’t give a shit what you have to do. You make this right.” There was a rawness in Bronn’s voice that made Sandor lift his eyes and look at his friend in confusion.

“What happened to you?” Bronn took a deep breath before he gave Sandor a crooked smile that didn’t reach his blue eyes.

“I didn’t have an awesome friend to talk sense into me. Once I tried it was too late.” Sandor didn’t care that the rain was falling heavier now. He didn’t care that his clothes were getting soaked as he sat down on the wet pavement and held his face in his hand.

“What if I am too late? What if she isn’t even there anymore?” The fear of it being true made the pain in his chest so strong that he was having trouble breathing. “What if she left me?”

“Then we figure it out.” The anger and annoyance on Bronn’s face was gone as he knelt in front of Sandor. “But you’ve got to try, don’t you? Or is this feeling better then having her with you?”

_ No, it’s fucking not. It’s fucking torture. _

They didn’t say a word in the uber and Bronn only gave his shoulder a squeeze before Sandor stepped out at his building. He was still feeling the brunt of the alcohol and decided that breaking his neck on the stairs would be a bad end to a worse night so with a heavy head he leaned against the elevator wall.

He hesitated outside the apartment door. It had been her apartment but she had turned it into theirs, finding space for his vinyls in her bookshelf and she had hung up pictures of them on the wall. He used to hate seeing photos of himself but the once with her in his arms wasn’t as bad to look at.

With a trembling breath he opened the door and was met with darkness and deafening silence. He didn’t dare turn on the light, his throat clogged with fear of finding the things that made this place Sansa’s, made it his home, missing. 

_ Maybe she’s asleep. It’s six in the morning after all. _

He tried to sneak towards the bedroom but he was less than stealthy as he stumbled and had to brace himself on the wall for a minute until the room stopped spinning. Once it had he reached out his hand for the doorknob and felt his heart stop as he found the door locked. There was a sick feeling in his chest that mixed with relief. She was locking him out of their bedroom but at least she hadn’t left. That had to mean something?

“Sansa?” his voice sounded pitiful as he rested his forehead against the door. “Please let me in…”

There was no response and he hadn't really expected there to be. He had let his anger at her parents overcome him and he had taken it out on her instead of talking to her like he should have. He knew that now and he could only hope that she would be willing to talk to him in the morning.

With a heavy sigh he slid down to the floor and leaned his head back against the wall. As the sun's first rays filtered through the curtains he closed his eyes and let exhaustion overtake him.

When he came to, his head was throbbing and his back ached from sleeping against the wall. His mouth felt like it was filled with cotton but he figured he deserved every sense of discomfort that was hitting him as he slowly opened his eyes.

He realised then that what had woken him was the sound of clanging from the kitchen and his nostrils filled with the heavenly smell of coffee. And then he heard her, the soft footsteps of the woman he loved as she moved around in the kitchen and he could have wept with relief. 

_ She’s still here, she hasn’t left me. _

He scrambled to his feet and the wave of nausea that hit him made him close his eyes for a few moments. With a heavy sigh he opened his eyes again and took the few steps down the hall towards the kitchen.

Sansa was leaning against the counter with a coffee cup in her hand and his eyes took her in like he had been starved of her. Her red hair was in a messy bun on her head, with a few loose strands framing her face. She was wearing one of his old band t-shirts and his heart clenched at the sight. She had a mustard colored cardigan on as well while her legs were bare and it took every ounce of his self control to not rush over and take her in his arms. Instead he stayed on the other side of the breakfast island and watched her in silence.

“There is coffee if you want some.” Her voice rang out in the silence and his heart jolted like it had been electrocuted. She kept her eyes downcast as he stepped around the island and he wanted to scream in frustration as she moved away from the counter to keep the distance between them. 

“Look at me.” His voice came out in a whispered plea and he felt his chin tremble as she shook her head. “Look at me.”

She lifted her eyes then, just enough for their eyes to meet and her red and puffy eyes shattered him. He had done that to her. He had fucked it all up and hurt her. He didn’t know what to say to make things right but he knew that he had to do something or this distance between them would only grow. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could she sat her cup down and her fingers went for the ring on her finger. His ring.

“Last night you said…” Sansa’s voice faltered and he took a step closer but stopped when she shook her head. “You said that if I take this off it’s not getting back on. I think that’s a decision that shouldn’t be made in anger or while fighting. So I wanted to give us both some time before…”

_ No... NO! _

Before she could push the ring of her finger his hand was there, clutching her hand and keeping the ring on her finger. Her head snapped up to look at him and he knew she could see the wild fear in his eyes. He didn’t try to hide the pain he was feeling, he owed it to her to show her everything.

“Don’t. Please.” He ended up pleading again, lifting their hands to his chest. “I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t even care that he knew that he was right about her parents. He didn’t care that she wasn’t able to see it. He didn’t care about anything other than that she wouldn’t leave him.

He held his breath as her blue eyes moved from their hands to his face and back again. It was as if he could physically feel his heart breaking when she shook her head. She tried to pull her hand out from his grasp but he didn’t let her. She took a step back but he followed until she was pressed up against the counter. He knew it was unfair of him to use his strength to keep her from pulling away but he was desperate. He couldn’t let her go, not until he at least had a chance to fight for them.

He released a heavy sigh when she stopped trying to pull her hand away and instead leaned her forehead against his chest. That small point of contact made his eyes water and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her but he didn’t dare to.

“You said such hurtful things…” her voice was a whispered breath against his shirt and he closed his eyes as the image of her hurt face seared his mind.

“I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry,” he sighed out against the top of her head. “I didn’t mean them, I swear.”

“I don’t know what to think anymore Sandor.” He couldn’t keep his arm from wrapping around her shoulders then, pulling her even closer to his chest and he felt like he couldn’t breath even as she leaned into the touch. He was too terrified of her next words. “How am I supposed to believe the things you say when in the next moment you tell me that the promises you’ve made were just words?”

“They weren’t. They aren’t,” he answered heatedly. “I meant them and I still do. I would follow you anywhere. I’ll work for your dad. I will move north. I…”

“Stop!” her voice came out in a tearful gasp and he hated the sound of her pained voice. “Stop saying what you think I want to hear. Empty promises won't fix anything.”

“Then tell me what will,” he pleaded as he pressed his face into her hair. “Tell me what to say or do. I’ll do anything.”

“It’s not just what you said. It’s this whole situation with you and my family. I don’t know what to do anymore…” He clenched her hand even harder and took a trembling breath to ease the pain in his chest.

The sound made her look up at him with fresh tears in her eyes and the sorrow in them felt like a reflection of his soul. She opened her mouth to speak and he knew what she was going to say. He couldn’t bear to hear it so before she could form the words he pressed his mouth firmly against hers. Her mouth remained slack against his and he pulled his face back to look down at her. Her blue eyes were welling with tears and he felt the same happen to his.

_ This can’t be happening. It just can’t. _

“I love you.” Fighting his tears made his voice sound strained and wobbly. She blinked up at him in silence and that silence spoke volumes to him.

“Talisa will be here to pick me up in an hour. I’m going to go home for a few days. I think we need the space to figure things out.” Her words made Sandor’s heart scream in his chest and he wanted to scream and rage at the unfairness of it all. She was going to leave him for her family, her mother was going to get exactly what she had hoped for and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening.

“No.” He squeezed her hand as his voice came out hard as stone. “Don’t go.”

He saw the flash of hesitation on her face and it made him press his mouth against hers again. There was a sharp gasp of air coming from her mouth and then her hand was wrapping around his hair and tugging his face sharply away from his. He winced at the sting of it and gasped when her hand tugged again. 

“Sansa.” There was something raw in her eyes then, he wasn’t sure what to make off it but it scared him. Scared him that she had already left him in all the ways that mattered.

He was taken back when her mouth surged up to claim his and his head spun as her tongue stole all the air in his lungs. On its own accord his tongue started twirling with hers and with a sharp inhale she pulled her mouth away from his.

The blue eyes that he loved so much it hurt looked up at him as she took a step back. When she tugged at the hand still in his he released it and waited for her to move away from him. Instead her hands went to his belt buckle and his knees almost gave out when she roughly pulled it open.

“Sansa…” he didn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t know what this meant and he was too scared to ask. “Not like this.”

Her hand reached out and grasped his shirt, using it to pull him closer to her and when she kissed him he couldn’t keep himself from kissing her back. There was a sense of urgency in her kisses, a frantic pace, that made his chest clench with anxiety.

“Sansa,” he pleaded but he wasn’t sure what he was asking for. A part of him wanted to slow down, to make love to her like she deserved while another part of him was as desperate to keep kissing her. To just take her then and there to remind her how they belonged to each other. Somehow he knew that would be a mistake. Very reluctantly he pulled his mouth away from hers and cupped her face as gently as he could.

“Love...?” His heart clenched as she turned her eyes towards him and gave him a sad smile. He felt that look like a kick in the gut and took a step back, releasing her in the process.

She looked beautiful, she always did, but she didn’t look the same. She didn’t look like his Sansa. It was as if there was a wall up that he didn’t know how to climb.

“You should shower. I’m gonna go put some clothes on.” Her voice was calm and when she stepped away from the counter she wrapped her arms around him in a firm hug. With a huge exhale of air he hugged her back and he heard her sniffle when he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “I love you too.”

He watched her disappear into their room and he wasn’t sure what to think. He knew that things weren’t resolved between them, if anything it felt like there was still such a distance between them but he could only hope that time would make things right again.

Realising that he stunk of sweat and alcohol, he figured he might as well do what she had suggested. It wasn’t until he was under the sprays of water that he realised that despite telling him that she loved him, she hadn’t told him that she had changed her mind. She hadn’t said that she was going to stay.

He didn’t even bother with drying himself off, he just wrapped a towel around his hips and hurried out of the bathroom as quickly as he could.

“Sansa?!” he roared out her name as he ran towards the bedroom. The door was open and revealed the room to be empty. With his chest threatening to burst he turned back towards the kitchen and living room and he knew she had left.

With a strangled sound he punched his fist into the wall closest to him and the strength behind it made some of the pictures hanging on the wall fall to the floor. He turned his head in horror at the shattering noise and dove to his knees to check on the picture of her in his arms.

“No, no, no,” he whined when he saw that the frame had shattered. As he carefully pulled the picture out from the sharded glass he clutched it to his chest and for the first time since his sister died he wept.


	18. I want to go home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did Sansa do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've read all of your comments and I am beyond blown away with how involved you all are in this little story of mine. It's very humbling to read you guys reaction to the last chapter and I haven't been able to wrap my head around it enough to respond to your guys comments yet. I hope that this new chapter is response enough for now.
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

Sansa kept her eyes closed the whole car ride, pretending to be asleep to avoid having to talk to her mother and Talisa. She didn’t open her eyes until they got to the airport and boarded their private plane. Because of course her mother wouldn’t be fine with flying commercial.

“Hannah will be thrilled that you could come,” Talisa said with a soft smile as the plane took off. Sansa nodded and offered her sister-in-law a small smile.

She didn’t have the ability for anything more than that or she would break. She didn’t want to have to explain what had happened between her and Sandor. That in itself spoke volumes to Sansa. It told her a lot about the state of her relationship with her mother. Sandor had been right.

Her heart clenched when she closed her eyes and remembered the hurt in his eyes. She had done that to him and then she had walked out. She had thought that taking some time and space would make things clearer, easier to figure out. But the way she had gone about it? She couldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see her again.

_ I made a mistake. _

The further away she got the more it hurt, the more she wanted to make the pilot turn the plane around. The more she wanted Sandor to hold her.

“Sansa, are you alright? You look rather pale,” her mother’s voice rang out into the silence but Sansa kept her eyes closed. If she opened them her mother would be able to see the tears she was fighting and she was scared of her reaction. Would she be silently pleased to see Sansa hurting if it meant that Sandor was out of her life? Would her mother really be so cruel?

“It’s just a little motion sickness. It will pass,” Sansa offered as explanation and thankfully they didn’t press her further.

During the whole flight she kept going over their last conversation in her head and she did feel sick to her stomach then, sick over how she had treated Sandor. He had been begging her to forgive him, begging her to not go. When it was her that she should be begging him for forgiveness. She should have known that her parents disapproval affected him more than he let on. She should have kept her cool and talked it through, instead she had closed herself off in fear of getting hurt. Now they were both hurting.

By the time they were on the ground again and headed for Hannah’s dance recital Sansa was exhausted. She just wanted to crawl under the covers and close the door on the world.

_ I want Sandor to hold me. _

“Really Sansa, we should stop by the house so that you can shower and change,” Catelyn said with an eyebrow raised in disapproval. Sansa knew what she must look like to her mother. She hadn’t showered or put on any makeup. She was wearing worn jeans and she was still wearing the t-shirt she had borrowed from Sandor. 

“No, we would be late if we did that. It’s fine,” Sansa assured her mother but it only seemed to make her blue eyes sharper with controlled annoyance.

“You can not go out looking like this.” Sansa had to bite her cheek to keep an angry retort from escaping. Her mother had cancelled brunch with her and Sandor because it was so important for her to be there on Hannah’s recital yet now she was arguing that they could be late only so that Sansa had time to look more presentable.

“You look fine Sansa. It’s just a bunch of kids and their parents. No one is going to look at her, Catelyn,” Talisa tried to meddle and the look her mother threw at them both told them that she didn’t not agree. 

Thankfully Talisa was the one behind the wheel, otherwise Sansa was pretty sure that her mother had driven home, and they got there just in time. 

“Sansa?” her brother’s all looked at her with surprise and she forced herself to smile. When her father pulled her against him in a tight embrace she wanted to press her face into his chest and cry like a baby. Instead she steeled herself and took a seat to watch her niece dance.

“Auntie!” Hannah’s surprised gasp as she ran towards her made Sansa’s eyes water and she lifted the girl off her feet once she had her in her arms. “You came!”

“I couldn’t miss it for the world,” she said into the little girl's dark hair and squeezed her a little tighter before letting her go. “You were amazing!”

“Where’s uncle Sandor?” Sansa’s heart ached as she looked down at the one member of her family that had accepted Sandor instantly. That was what she wanted, for them all to just accept him. For her sake.

“He couldn’t make it,” Sansa said and she felt her mother’s eyes on her then.

“Maybe he can come to my next one? It’s in June,” Hannah offered and Sansa nodded her head.

“If he can I am sure he will.” She didn’t show how unsure she felt. She didn’t even know if he still wanted to become her uncle, not after what Sansa had done.

“Come on, let’s all head home for lunch,” Ned called out to their group and Sansa turned her head. When her eyes caught on her sister’s short dark hair she slowed her pace until Arya caught up with her.

“Wow… You look like shit. Mom must have had a fit,” Arya commented dryly and Sansa couldn’t help but roll her eyes but other than that she ignored the jab.

“Are you riding with someone?” Sansa asked and Arya stopped in order to turn and look at her fully. Her grey eyes held Sansa’s for just a moment but what she saw there made hers softened.

“No, I’ve got my car. I want to be able to get out of there as soon as possible. You want a ride?” Sansa nodded and felt her bottom lip wobble when her sister grabbed her hand and dragged her over to her car. “Sansa is riding with me! We will be there in a bit, you guys start without us!”

Sansa could feel her mother’s eyes as if they were burning a whole in the back of her head and she was grateful when she could close the car door behind her. Arya had barely had the chance to put the keys in the ignition before Sansa broke down. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling in heavy sobs as Arya drove. It wasn’t until she felt her sister stop the car that Sansa was able to look up and realise that they weren’t at their parent’s house.

Instead Arya had driven them to one of the look out points high above the city and the view of the bare blue sky above the bustling city made the pain in Sansa’s chest feel a little less suffocating. She had always loved this spot and felt touched that her sister remembered.

“You want to talk about it?” Arya asked hesitantly and Sansa nodded. She knew that her sister and her had never been that close, partially because Arya didn’t get along with their mother and Sansa had always taken her mother’s side. Right now she couldn’t for the life of her remember why.

“Do you think that mom can be a bit controlling and manipulative?” Sansa’s question made Arya’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline and she stared at Sansa for a long time with wide eyed wonder.

“Wow… It took you 25 years but you finally realised it?” Arya crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned back into the driver’s seat. Her face was pulled into a frown as she seemed to process something for a minute. “I think mom is so sure that she knows what’s best that she doesn’t even see it as being controlling or manipulative. I think she thinks she is doing us a favour. Which in itself is twisted.”

“I’ve never felt like she has before…” Sansa said and Arya rolled her eyes.

“Of course you haven’t. Because before you always did what she wanted. You never needed to be manipulated or controlled because you were so eager to please her.” The words stung but looking back Sansa knew that they stung because they were true. “Do you know how proud I was of you when you left?”

Sansa looked at her sister and felt fresh tears sting her eyes because of the soft smile that Arya was giving her. What did she mean?

“You were finally getting out from under her thumb. You were making your own choice and you were going to live the life you wanted. Instead of the life she wanted for you. That takes balls,” Arya said and reached out a hand to squeeze Sansa’s. “I now know that it might not have been your motivation for leaving but that just makes what you did a hell of a lot bigger.”

“You think I lived under mom’s thumb?” Sansa’s voice sounded small even to herself and she couldn’t help but try to see things from Arya’s perspective. Sansa had thought that she was doing what she wanted with her life, but what things had she sacrificed or given up on because her mother wouldn’t approve?

_ I can’t let Sandor be one of those things. _

“I mean… You always said you wanted to write children's books but that wasn’t respectable enough for the Stark name. I think it’s great that you got your english degree even if you decided to go into publishing instead of writing. That was your choice but did you even get a say before mom had gotten you the job at Baelish’s?” Sansa shook her head and buried her head in her hands as a new wave of tears fell. “Okay, this has to be more than mom just being unhappy about you and Sandor. What happened?”

Sansa felt shame wash over her as she told Arya everything that had happened the day before and once she was done Arya was silent for such a long time that Sansa eventually had to lift her head to look at her. Her sister was worrying her bottom lip so angrily that Sansa was worried that she was going to draw blood.

“What a dick move!” Arya exclaimed as she dragged her hand through her hair. “I can’t believe her. It’s one thing to be rude and unsupportive. But this? This is a new low.”

“So you think that she offered to buy us the house as a way of driving a wedge between me and Sandor?” The deadpanned look Arya gave her told Sansa how stupid her sister thought she were in that moment. Even before Arya answered Sansa knew she was right. She really was stupid and gullible.

“Of course it was! I mean, what the hell?” Arya took a deep breath as if to calm herself and then she turned her whole body towards Sansa’s. “I get that Sandor might not be what she had pictured for you and at first I didn’t get what you saw in him either. I mean he is old, crass, rude and he is nothing like the pretty boys you usually go for.”

“Arya! Sandor is the nicest, sweetest...” Arya cut off Sansa’s defence of him with the raising of her hand and gave Sansa a soft smile.

“I didn’t get it at first. But then I saw the pictures you posted of you guys and I got it. Did you notice that in every single picture he never looked into the camera? He always looks at you and he looks at you like you hung the fucking moon.” Sansa felt her eyes fill with tears again and she wished that she could undo this whole weekend. She just wanted to go home, go home to Sandor and beg him to forgive her. “I think that the way he looks at you should be answer enough for mom as to why he is your choice. I don’t know why she can’t see it. Or if she doesn’t allow herself to.”

“I fucked it all up Arya.” Her sister gave her a sad smile that made Sansa’s stomach churn like she was going to be sick.

“You sure did. So now what?”

“I want to go home.”

Sansa took a deep fortifying breath and Arya gave her a shove in encouragement as they stepped into the dining room. Everybody looked up as they sat down and Sansa forced herself to smile.

“Is everything alright?” Sansa turned her face towards her father and the concern on his face almost made her resolve falter. She knew he cared about her but she doubted that he had been completely unaware of her mother’s actions. Catelyn might be the one who ran this family but her father wasn’t stupid.

“It will be.” Sansa knew that her eyes were puffy and red from crying but she didn’t try to hide it. Instead she held her father’s grey eyes and forced her face into a polite mask. “I have to thank you, dad. For your generous gift.”

Her father nodded slightly but his eyes narrowed as he threw a quick glance across the table to his wife. Catelyn stiffened in her seat but Sansa ignored her in favour of facing her father.

“Sandor and I will start looking for a house in the fall, I think it’s better to focus on one thing at a time,” Sansa said sweetly and Rickon lifted his face from his plate to stare at her

“Are they buying you guys a house?” he asked, surprised and Sansa nodded.

“There is this wonderful neighbourhood not far from where our apartment is. Those houses are within the budget.” Sansa gave her father a sweet smile and saw the wide eyed concern in the look he threw his wife.

“I told you that we had been looking at a house here.” Catelyn’s voice came out low and collected but when Sansa looked at her she noticed the way her jaw was clenched.

“Oh? I thought that was just for reference. I mean, why would we move north? We both have our jobs and our lives in King’s Landing.” Sansa turned to her father with a confused frown.

“We want you to come back home, sweetheart,” her father said softly and Sansa’s heart clutched painfully in her chest. Her father had known what her mother was doing, he might not have come up with it but he hadn’t stopped her.

“Oh I’m sorry. I thought you said that the gift was a show of your support. I didn’t know that it came with terms. Would you care to state the terms for me, mother?” Sansa’s voice was cold but she couldn’t keep the hurt from showing in her face.

“There is no need to be ungrateful,” Catelyn bit out and Sansa couldn’t keep from scoffing. “We have shown our support. I have been bending over backwards trying to get this wedding planned in time.”

“Well the wedding is off so you won’t have to bend over backwards anymore.” There was a sharp gasp coming from Talisa and Sansa could see the surprised looks on her brother’s faces in the corner of her eye. Catelyn’s eyes softened and Sansa could almost have sworn that she looked sad for her. Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking on her part?

“Oh, sweetheart. I am so sorry,” Catelyn said as Ned reached and placed his hand over Sansa’s. “You will get through this. You’ll come home and we’ll help you…”

“You misunderstand me, mother.” Sansa pulled her hand away from her father’s and looked at Arya who gave her a soft nod of encouragement. “The wedding you planned is off. I am going to marry the man I love the way we want.”

_ If he still wants me. _

Sansa stood and despite her knees trembling she held her head high as she stared down her mother and then her father.

“I am going to go home now.”

“Wanna borrow my car?” Arya asked and Sansa nodded with a grateful smile.

“Take mine. It’s a long drive, besides we’ve got a second car,” Robb said as he stood. Sansa was surprised when he wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug. “I hope we still get an invitation.”

“We want all the people who love and support us there,” Sansa assured him and kissed his cheek as she took the keys from him.

“Sansa, we just want what’s best for you. You barely know him. He has a brother on death row, did he tell you that?” The anger in her father’s voice made Sansa turn towards him and she shook her head when he held her eyes. “What else could he be keeping from you?”

Sansa couldn’t keep the shock of her face as she looked at the first man that she had ever loved. The man that was supposed to love her unconditionally.

“I am very disappointed in you, daddy.”

* * *

By the time she parked outside of their building the sun had set. The whole drive down she had tried to think of what to say to him, how to apologise but nothing she came up with could possibly be enough. She had taken her pain out on him, she had been crueler than she had ever thought herself capable of and how was she supposed to make that right?

_ I have to try. _

She noticed that his truck wasn’t in the parking lot and she felt tears well in her eyes as she made her way inside. What if he wasn’t home? What if he had left? What would she do then?

Sansa’s heart was beating a mile a minute and she struggled to catch her breath as she lingered outside the apartment door. For some reason just walking in felt wrong after the way that she had left. She didn’t deserve to walk in there like she belonged. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there before she was able to raise her hand and knock.

Minutes passed, or maybe it was seconds, as she held her breath and waited. She was about to raise her hand and knock again when the door suddenly flung open. She jumped back to keep it from hitting her and with a sharp gasp her eyes caught on Sandor’s face.

He had bags under his eyes and his hair was a tousled mess, as if he had run his hand through it a hundred times. His eyes were red and she felt her own eyes fill with tears at the sight he made. He looked almost wild with his eyes wide in disbelief and she was so afraid that she had broken them beyond repair.

“Sandor…” At the sound of his name on her lips he took a step back, as if he was scared of what she was about to say and she hated herself for doing this to him. She knew that there was so much that she needed to say, so much to apologise for but seeing him like this made her forget everything she had planned to say. “I am so sorry. I was wrong about everything.”

He shook his head at her words and it made the panic in her chest escalate into a frantic state of mind. She reached out a hand towards him but he reared back and the tears started falling freely down her cheeks . She didn’t bother with trying to wipe them away, she had brought this on herself after all.

“I understand that how I acted was awful and I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say to make things right. You didn’t do anything wrong, you apologised and I was so cruel.” She took a deep breath as her voice wavered and she tried to steady her racing heart. She needed to do this, she needed to try. “I can’t believe that I did that. I can’t believe what a coward I was. I didn’t want to see that you were right. But you were, you were right about…”

“Shut up.” She flinched at his sharp spoken words and the sob that escaped her in response made her whole body shake. His grey eyes were staring down at her and she couldn’t read him.

“No please. I know you must hate me and you probably don’t want to but please let me talk.” She must have sounded and looked pathetic, crying so hard that she was shaking as she begged him to listen. She didn’t care though, she didn’t care about anything other than what he was thinking. “You were right about my mom and I should have seen it so much sooner. I shouldn’t have put you through all of this. All that should have mattered is that we love each other. And I do, I love you so much Sandor and I am so sorry that I hurt you. I am so sorry that I…”

“Sansa, shut up.” Her mouth clamped shut as soon as he said her name and she looked up at him with fear. She had never felt so afraid in her life. Afraid that this was it, afraid that he would shut the door in her face. She was afraid that she had robbed them of their future.

Her whole body trembled as his large hands reached out and cupped her face. Another wracking sob escaped her at his tender touch but she was scared to breath or make another sound as he looked down at her. With a shaky exhale he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. 

_ I don’t deserve you. _

The hands around her face tugged her closer and she reached out her hands and clutched to the fabric of his t-shirt. It was a desperate grip, fearing that if she let go he would pull back and let her go for good. Eventually he did pull his face away from hers but to her relief his hands moved to wrap around her back and he turned them around to walk her inside of the apartment. The door closed behind them with a soft thud but she didn’t pull her eyes away from his face for even a second. She was trying desperately to read the crease in his forehead and the intense look in his eyes but her mind was too scattered to make sense of what was happening.

“Don’t ever leave like that again. Don’t fucking do that to me.” His voice was raw with pain and she shook her head as fresh tears joined the ones already falling down her cheeks. “Fuck, Sansa.”

“I’m so sorry.” The kiss he pressed to her lips was a desperate one and she opened her mouth and let their desperation feed off each other until they had to come up for air. “I’m sorry that I am such a mess.”

He rested his forehead against hers and for a second she allowed herself to close her eyes and revel in the fact that he was holding her. She had been so scared that she would never be held by him again. Without another word spoken his hands moved to her hips and with a firm grip on them he hoisted her up into his arms. Instinctively her legs wrapped around him as he made his way towards the bathroom. He had barely put her feet down on the tiled floor before he pushed her sweater off her shoulders and then pulled his t-shirt off her.

His hands stilled at the button of her pants and his grey eyes held hers. There was a silent question there and in response her hands moved to the hemline of his shirt and pulled it over his head. Once they were both bare he turned the shower on and she stepped in with him. Without even waiting for the water to get warm she pressed her chest against his and wrapped her arms around him in as tight of a grip as she could muster.

Another sob wracked her body as she pressed her face into his chest as he wrapped an arm around her lower back and felt his large hand gently stroking the back of her neck.

“I love you,” she said against his warm skin and clutched him even tighter to her.

“I love you,” his voice rasped out in answer and even though things weren’t perfect between them, it would take time to make things right again, she felt lighter than she had just minutes before.

_ He still loves me. He still loves me. _


	19. Why did you come back?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa is back home. Can Sandor move past what happened or will this be a breaking point?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> So this took me a while to get down. Life has just been... well I think you guys can relate.
> 
> It's a bit on the shorter side but I hope you guys don't mind.
> 
> Lots of love ❤️

They hadn’t bothered to put clothes on after the shower. He had simply towel dried them both and then picked her up and walked into the bedroom. Her hair was still damp but he didn’t care as he pushed his fingers through the wet strands. His other hand was resting low on her back, keeping her where she was, splayed atop his chest.

Her long slender fingers were running through the thick hair on his chest and her breath was coming out hot against the skin of his neck. It was those things, as well as the feel of her soft skin beneath his fingers that assured him that she really was there.

“Sandor…” her voice came out in a hushed breath and he instinctively pressed her even closer, as if he was still scared that she would disappear. Perhaps a part of him was.

She placed a featherlight kiss over his heart and he couldn’t help but wonder if she had guessed where his mind had gone. He watched her as she lifted her head to rest her chin against his chest, holding his eyes in hers. Her blue eyes were shiny with tears, which they had been since the moment he opened the door.

“I called off the wedding.” Her words made him stiffen and she watched him, gauging his reaction like a hawk. 

“I don’t even get a say?” His chest clenched painfully at the fact that he wouldn’t be able to marry her and call her his wife. He pushed her off him and moved to sit up against the headboard, needing the distans.

“I couldn’t let her control it. It felt like it wasn’t ours anymore.” Sansa said and with her eyes she asked him to understand but he couldn’t. Because he wasn’t the one who had given Catelyn that control, she had and then she had fought him when he had said as much. Left him.

He had been so angry and hurt by her and as he sat in what was supposed to be their space with his breaking heart he had been sure that he was never going to see her again. That once her family got her back north they would keep her there. He had been shocked to see her on the other side of the door and maybe a stronger man would have denied her. Maybe a stronger man would have put his broken heart over her pleading. But he wasn’t a strong man, not when it came to her.

He had once told her that she owned him and it was the truth. She owned him, body and soul and he didn’t want to live without her. He didn’t even want to imagine a life without Sansa Stark. Hearing her say that she didn’t want to marry him anymore felt like getting kicked while already lying down.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” His words came out harsh and biting but she didn’t flinch away like he had expected her to.

“I want our wedding to be about us. Like it should have been from the beginning.” His eyes narrowed as she pulled back to sit on her knees in front of him and he found himself momentarily distracted by the sight of her naked chest and her dusty pink nipples.

_ She is so God damn beautiful. _

“I understand if you don’t want to marry me anymore. I can’t blame you. The way I acted was horrible.” He felt her words like a kick in his gut and he hurriedly leaned forward and cupped her face in his hands. He tilted her face up so that he could look into her blue eyes and wipe away the tear that had escaped them. “I realised that you had given me so many wonderful promises, and I know you meant every single one of them. But I never made any promises back.”

She sniffled as she turned her face to press a soft kiss against the palm of his hand and he couldn’t keep from wanting to comfort her.

“No more tears,” he rasped and to his relief the corners of her mouth turned up in a tiny smile.

“I can’t promise that. I’m a crier. But I promise you that I will love you every day for the rest of my life, even on the bad ones. And I promise I won’t put other’s opinions over what we have. I promise that through our lives I will make it my goal to make sure that everyday you know that you are loved.” The passion in her voice made it tremble and as he held her eyes he wanted to believe her. He wanted to feel sure that she would keep her promises. But in the back of his head, the survival part of his mind told him to be cautious. “I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted and everything that is in my power to give. You are my family and you and I, we will always come first. I promise.”

Had this weekend gone differently he would have been thrilled to hear her say these things. But it hadn’t. She had chosen her family over him barely a day before. She had come back but what happened the next time her family came into the picture? What would happen in a week, a month or a year? Would she be able to keep her promises then?

He knew how much family meant to Sansa and despite her being upset with her mother right now he wasn’t sure how things would work out in the future. He struggled with imagining Sansa cutting her parents completely out of her life. Even if she did, would she truly be happy with just him? How could she be?

“It’s not as simple as that, Sansa.” Her eyes welled with tears again and he hated himself for it. He didn’t want to be the reason for her tears but he needed to be honest. “What about the next time we fight? What’s to say that you won’t run back home again?”

She lifted one hand to his scarred cheek while the other found its place above his heart and despite the tears in her eyes she looked lighter than she had before.

“This,” she lightly brushed her fingers over his skin and he should stay angry. He should keep his guard up, he knew that. “You are my home.”

_ Fuck. _

He felt tears sting his eyes and with a trembling breath he threw his legs over the side of the bed, his feet hitting the floor with a thud. He had never been called someone's family or home before and it was overwhelming. He held his breath when he felt her behind him but he didn’t flinch at her touch. She pressed her chest into his back and her arms came around to hold him.

He couldn’t help but stare down at her delicate hands on his chest and the ring on her finger glistened in the low light cast by the moon. She had kept it on and she had come back. She wanted to be with him but could he give up what he wanted? His dreams for their future? Things he had never known that he would want before her, like marriage, family, children. She had made him believe that he could have that and now she was taking that away from him.

“But you still won’t marry me.” His vision filled with red hair as she moved to stand on the floor and took up the space between his knees. Instinctively he took her hip in his hands, his rough worn hands against the pale soft skin of her a physical reminder of how different they were. Her blue eyes held his for a long time and he was terrified of what she was going to say.

“Sandor Clegane. I never thought that I would find someone who loves me like you do. Who wants me flaws and all. I never thought I would find someone to love like I love you. I know that I can’t live without you. To me that means becoming your wife, if you’ll still have me.” His eyes were stinging and with a soft smile her thumb wiped away the tear that fell down his ruined cheek. “I thought you said no more tears.”

He chuckled softly at her last words before he took the hand that held his ring and lifted it between them. He held it at her eye level and wrapped his fingers gently around her hand.

“This means forever.” Her eyes were brimming with tears again but the smile that split her face told him that it was happy tears this time. “You and me. I mean that. It’s not something you can throw away or change your mind about. If we get married it’s for life. You have to be sure.”

_ Please be sure. _

“Forever,” she agreed with a nod and his hand moved to the back of her head in order to press her mouth against his. “Forever, Sandor.”

Her tongue darted out and traced the seam of his lips and with a groan he pushed his tongue into her mouth. The hand that had been cupping his cheek pushed into his hair and her nails scraped his scalp so gently that it sent a shiver through him. 

Things weren’t fixed between them and even if she hadn’t told him he knew that this separation with her family hurt her even though she tried not to show it. He wanted to ask what had made her realise the motives behind her mother’s actions but he was scared to break this moment. They were together again, he had just gotten her back and he wanted to believe that this was a turning point for them. What mattered was that she had come back, that she had chosen them over her parent’s meddling. Even if a part of him still couldn’t believe it.

“Sandor…” the apprehension in her voice made him pull his face back and she gently traced the line of his frown with the tip of her finger. “I just wanted you to know that they told me about your brother.”

He pulled out of her arms and he suddenly felt vulnerable in his naked state. With an angry huff of air he grabbed a pair of sweats from the dresser and pulled them on. Sansa just stood there, complete naked and looked at him with soft eyes.

“Who told you? Your parents?” he growled out and she nodded. “They thought throwing my murderer and rapist of a brother in your face would make you think twice about being with me, that it?”

Just talking about his brother like this made his hand itch to cover the burned side of his face. It had been years since he had last seen Gregor, it had been on the last day of his brother’s trial and Sandor had felt like some justice had been made when his brother had been sentenced to death.

“They… they didn’t tell me what he had done. I didn’t give them the chance to.” Sansa’s eyes were wide and filled with concern, as if she noticed the mental state talking about this put him in. “You do not have to talk to me about him if you don’t want to.”

That threw him off. His anger fizzled like a balloon out of air as she walked up to the dresser and took one of his t-shirts. She pulled it over her head and he watched with regret how the shirt covered her down to her thighs. 

“Let’s get some food,” she said and took his hand to pull him out to the kitchen.

He had expected there to be a lot of questions but she didn’t say anything. She just hummed as she made them some grilled cheese and when she quickly chopped up a sallad he couldn’t keep himself from walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her to pull her against his chest. He had been so sure that he would never have this again, yet here she was but it didn’t feel real. It felt like he might still be drunk and hallucinating. Because how could she choose this, choose him over her family?

“I have hated him all my life. He was my bully and tormentor. He gave me these scars as punishment for playing with his old toys. It was just us two and dad. And dad covered for him.” Sansa didn’t say anything, but he heard the gasp that escaped her mouth and she placed her hand over his where it rested on her stomach. “He covered for the boy who would end up killing him. He pushed dad down the stairs years later and then he ran. I was sixteen then and ended up at a foster home until I could get the fuck out of there.”

He stopped and took a deep breath to steady himself. This was the worst part, the part he hadn’t been able to speak out loud in years. As he held Sansa even closer he knew he needed to tell her, if only for the fact that he didn’t want there to be anything hidden between them. She deserved to know.

“He killed our sister, I’m sure of it. She was eight and Gregor ten when he put my face in the fire. She took care of me but just a few days later my father found her at the bottom of the stairs. Her neck was broken.” He felt the tremble go through Sansa and the hand on his clenched it almost painfully. She turned around in his arms and her eyes were filled with tears again. These tears were different though, she was hurting for him not because of him. “When he was arrested and charged with rape and murder of two women five years ago I went to the trial. I testified against him. I told a whole room of people what he had done to me, I had never spoken it out loud before.”

He felt angry tears sting in his eyes as he remembered the way Gregor had just stared at him, his older brother’s face completely void of any emotion. He had shown now regret for his actions, shown no remorse over the pain he had caused. He had looked at Sandor like he didn’t care. That he didn’t care that he had ruined Sandor’s life. That he didn’t care that he had taken hers…

“Sandor…” Sansa’s hands were holding his face and he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers when her voice trembled. “I… You are amazing.”

Her words took him by surprise and he pulled his face back to stare down at her with a frown. What the hell was she talking about?

“You have overcome so much and I am so grateful that you were strong and brave enough to do so. That is what made you into the man you are today. The man I fell in love with.”

He didn’t feel strong, nor brave. He felt as if he had laid his soul bare and was waiting on rejection. A rejection that never came. Her eyes, shiny with tears, looked at him with the purest of admiration and he knew there was not the slightest trace of dishonesty in her words. That’s how this horror story that had been his life made her look at him? Not with disgust or fear, but with love?

In that moment he knew that no matter how she had hurt him only hours before there was no way he would ever love someone other than her.

“Come on, let’s eat.” As if she understood that he didn’t know what to say or even do she simply took his hand and had him sit down at the table. She placed his plate in front of him with a kiss to the top of his head and his chest filled with waring emotions. He wanted to tell her to just go. To leave. Because he could not have this only to lose it again. He knew he would never recover from it, so perhaps it would be better if he made her leave. That way he would be prepared, he would know that the heartache was coming.

He turned his face up to look at her and the softness in her eyes made him suddenly feel sick for even thinking such a thing. With a strangled sob he wrapped his arms around her middle and pressed his face into her stomach. Her hands gently stroked his hair and he held her tighter. 

He knew that if he kept thinking like this he would end up pushing her away. He didn’t really want her to leave, he wanted her to stay. He had meant it when he told her that it was forever, because it was for him. Somehow he had to try and believe her promises. Believe that she wanted forever too.

_ But how the hell can someone as broken as me be enough for her? _

“Why did you come back?” The words released out of his chest in a painful whisper and he couldn’t bear to lift his eyes to look at her. The way she stiffened was sign enough that his question had taken her off guard.

“I didn’t want what you said to be true but I couldn’t ignore her behaviour once you pointed it out to me.” Sansa’s voice was small and sounded almost scared but her hands pushed through his hair in a gentle caress. “And I spoke to Arya. She opened my eyes to how mom had been controlling my life, because I let her.”

Sandor felt her hands cup the back of his head and fought against her hands trying to tilt his face up. He didn’t have the guts to look at her and when she realised that he wouldn’t budge she sighed before continuing.

“I missed you from the moment I closed the door behind me and even with all of my family around me I didn’t feel like I was home. It didn’t feel right. All I wanted was to go back to you, go back home.” This time he allowed her to tilt his head back and his grey eyes held her blue with a tearful look. “That’s why I came back. This is where I am safe, this is home.”

He released a surprised huff of air when she sat down in his lap and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her eyes held his as she rested their foreheads together and his hands grasped her hips.

“And when your parents contact you?” It wasn’t a question of if with the Starks, he knew that. Thankfully Sansa didn’t try to deny it either, she just released a soft sigh, the air of it hitting his lips.

“I’ll tell them the same thing I said when I left. I only want people who love and support us in our lives.” Her words made his heart clinch painfully in his chest but he wasn’t sure if it was out of concern for her or in joy of her standing up for them. Perhaps a bit of both.

“And if they never came around? You’d be okay with that?” he asked worried and he felt her fingers gently caressing the skin of his shoulders, as if she was trying to comfort him.

“No. I want them to love and support us, of course I do. But they make their own choices and if they choose to never come around that will always hurt. But I have other people in my life, I have you. And we will be a family, a big one.” He couldn’t keep his eyes from darting down to her stomach and there was another clinch in his chest.

“Are you…?” Sansa seemed to be able to follow his train of thought despite him not speaking the words because she pulled back and shook her head.

“No. I’m not pregnant. I just meant that we’ll have that someday. And I might always be sad about my parents not being a part of that, if that is what they chose. But we will make our own family. And that will be everything.” Sandor would be lying if he said that all of his worries and fears were gone as he held her close. So he didn’t say anything, because the one person he couldn’t bear to lie to was Sansa.

He didn’t feel calm, or at ease. But he didn’t feel as angry or hurt as before either. His emotions were all over the place and for once he figured that was okay. It was okay to not know how you felt about everything, it was okay to be a bit scared for the future. Because the strongest feeling, thrown in there with all the other ones, was the love he had for her.

When she kissed him, sitting in his lap, in their kitchen he allowed himself to think that it could be enough. That his love for her, that all encompassing, larger than life love could be enough to fill their lives. It was probably naive and stupid of him to think so but he didn’t care. He had been through so much horrible shit in his life, he was allowed to have hope in something good, wasn’t he?

Even if it was stupid or naive he hoped that they would be okay. Someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Sandor's emotions seem all over the place, that was my intention. He is a conflicted guy, he wants Sansa but also don't understand why she wants him. 
> 
> But if something doesn't feel right to you guys, please share. I love criticism or you guys just sharing your thoughts.  
I hope you guys are safe and healthy!


	20. He means everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa and Sandor are trying to move forward, together. Will they be able to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Gosh, it's been a while. Didn't mean to keep you guys waiting. Life has been wild, in both the craziest, hardest and best ways all at once. I have been a busy bee. But here it is, another chapter. I truly hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also: I've been hanging out at this amazing discord server for SanSan shippers. If you want in let me know and I’ll send you an invite.

When Sansa woke she felt unusually cold and instinctively turned around in search for her source of heat. She was met with cold sheets and sat up as she tried to get her bearings. It was still night, but the first rays of dawn shone softly through the blinds, and Sandor was not in the room. She couldn’t hear him around the apartment either but he was a silent man so Sansa figured the best choice was to see what he was doing. She threw on one of his shirts and tiptoed out of the bedroom and down the hall and found him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

He was only in a pair of black boxers and the soft light that was streaming through the living room window made the black hair on his body look even darker but it softened the sharpness of the scars on his face.

“Sandor…?” she said softly, not to startle him and he slowly lifted his head to look at her. There were deep circles beneath his eyes and he looked tired and worn and she hated herself for being the reason behind it. Barely a day had passed since she left and came back again but she felt like there was a mile between them. She hated it and she didn’t know what to do to bridge it.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he groaned out and she stepped close, until her knees were pressed against his thighs. Her heart clenched in her chest when he tilted his head up to look at her and his hand reached up to wrap around her thigh.

She was relieved that he didn’t keep a distance between them, that he still reached out to touch her without thinking. When his thumb stroked the inside of her thigh she shivered and her hand reached out to brush through the hair on the top of his head. He grunted as her second hand joined the first and started massaging his scalp.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and his grip on her thigh tightened, his fingers pushing into her flesh in a way that made heat grow low in her belly.

“Fucking stop that. I’m done with that shit,” he rasped as his grey eyes locked with hers. “It’s you and me. Fuck the rest.”

She wanted to argue that it wasn’t that simple but the pleading look on his face made her bite her lip to keep the words from escaping. She wanted it to be that simple, she wanted the whole weekend forgotten even though she knew it never could be. She wanted him, just him and for him to be hers. As his thumb continued it’s soft caresses of the sensitive skin on the inside of her thigh she widened her stance a little to grant him better access.

His eyes darted down to the pale flesh and as his hand moved upwards his other reached out to bunch up the t-shirt, exposing her naked skin in the pale moonlight.

“Sandor…” she gasped out as his fingertips stopped just at the juncture of her thigh and he leaned his forehead against her stomach, his warm breath making her skin tingle. She wanted to kiss him, needed to feel the connection between them but before she could pull his head up he roughly pushed her underwear down her legs.

She was barely able to release her surprised gasp before it was followed by another due to the pad of his thumb pressing against her clit. His touch was insistent but gentle and the hands in his hair tightened their grip.

She sucked in a shaky breath when one of his fingers carefully traced her lips all the way to her entrance and back and she couldn’t help but rock her hips with the motion. A deep grunt was released against her skin and he repeated the action until she felt she was on the brink of going insane from teasing. She needed more, something. She needed him.

She pushed his hand out from between her legs and pulled his face away from her stomach in order to tilt it back so that she could look into his grey eyes. They were wide and dark with desire and the raw need she found there sent a tremble through her. Her mouth surged down to claim his and his grip on her thigh became almost painful as her tongue delved into his mouth and tasted every part of it that it could reach.

“Sansa…” He released her name in a shaky exhale that had her pulling her mouth away from his and when their eyes met she could have sworn his looked wet with tears. Before she had a chance to make sure his fingers were by her entrance again and when he pressed a finger against it she pushed it away.

“No. I need you Sandor,” she said and he looked at her with such disbelief and she used his reaction as a chance to drop to her knees in order to pull down his boxers, and to his credit he lifted his hips to aid her. His penis sprung out hard and almost purple and before he had a chance to grasp what was happening she closed her mouth around the tip.

A ragged gasp pushed between his lips and the whine that followed when she took more of him into her mouth had her humming as the knowledge that she was the reason behind his pleasure surged through her.

“Oh… oh… fuck…” All the small gasps and panted words spurred Sansa on to quicken her pace and as she dragged her mouth up and down his shaft, her hand wrapped around it’s base. She had only stroked him a few times when he suddenly pulled her back to her feet.

His eyes were wide and crazed and for a second she was worried that she had overstepped, maybe he was still too hurt to go through with it, but in the next second he had all but ripped the t-shirt off her and pulled her down to sit astride his lap.

“I need to be inside you. I need to feel you around me so fucking badly, Sansa.” His hands clasped her hips and the grip was borderline painful but in that moment Sansa didn’t mind. If anything his desperate need to keep her close fueled her own desire and instead of answering him she reached between them and lined him up with her entrance.

“We will always have this. You and me,” she released the words in a whispered exhale and when he opened his mouth to answer she sank down and took him inside of her. The sudden intrusion stung a little but once she had given herself a few seconds to adjust she was able to rock her hips gently without now lingering pain.

Sandor gasped as she almost lifted herself completely off him and then slowly sank down again. When he tilted his chin up to look at her she pressed her mouth against his in a firm kiss that had her mind reeling. In response his hips pushed up into her and the way he hit so deep inside her had her groaning into his mouth. Despite the frantic need she felt, their pace was slow and gentle and when they broke for air she cupped his cheek tenderly. He closed his eyes and there was a deep frown on his forehead that made her chest ache but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t know if there was anything else she could say, but she could show him how much he meant to her. How much she loved him.

Her fingers gently traced the raised skin on his face and he released a shuddering breath as she stroked the burned side of his lips with her finger. She hoped that he would open his eyes and look at her but instead he pressed his face into the side of her neck and squeezed her hips even tighter as he increased the speed of his hips against hers. The new pace and intensified pressure pushed his hips against her clit with every movement and as she grew closer and closer to the edge her breathing became more and more ragged.

She felt Sandor’s lips against her neck and chest, mouthing something and she tried her best to quiet her own moans in order to hear what he was saying.

“Please, Sansa. Sansa. Sansa. Please.” His voice was a hoarse whisper and so raw with emotion that she couldn’t fight tears from welling up in her eyes. The bruising grip on her skin, the shaky breaths and the pain in his voice told her how much this meant to him too. How he was fighting his emotions from overwhelming him and welling over. A part of her wished that it would, wished that he would let go and take what he needed from her then. Be it this, being deep inside her and releasing everything. Or to break down and cry, she would take it all and love him even more for it. But she knew he was fighting that part of himself, trying to not show anymore hurt. He had been so open and vulnerable with her since she got back and she didn’t want him to think that she had had enough of that, of him. Because it wasn’t the truth.

“It’s okay Sandor. It’s okay. I’m here. I love you,” she spoke softly against the top of his head and she could see the shiver that her words caused as it went through him. “I love you, all of you.”

His hips bucked up hard against her, as if he couldn’t help himself and his hands moved from her hips to her ass, kneading the flesh with big strong hands. Her lips parted on a gasp as another hard trust pushed her into a sudden orgasm that had her clutching at his shoulders. She managed to roll her hips against him through it and as her peak ebbed, his hit him with a shudder and a grunt.

For a long moment the only sound in the room was their heavy breaths while they clutched each other close. As the rays of the day started to paint the room in brighter colours Sandor pulled his face away from her skin and she was pretty sure that the wetness left there was more than just sweat. She allowed him a moment to duck his head and wipe his hand across his face, without commenting on it. Instead she softly caressed the skin of his back until his breathing calmed and he lifted his face to look at her. His grey eyes were shiny but soft and she leaned into his hand as it came up to cup her cheek.

“Marry me. Soon,” he said softly and she nodded with a soft smile.

“I’ll do it tomorrow if you’ll have me,” she said and she felt like a stone was lifted off her chest as a small smile tugged at the burned corner of his lips.

“Sounds good to me, but maybe a bit short notice for the people we want there.” Sansa pressed her lips to his brow and they linger there as he sighed. It didn’t sound strained or as heavy as before, instead he sounded tired but content. “Wanna try to get some sleep before you have to go to work?”

“I told Margaery I am taking a personal day,” she said and he tilted his chin up to look at her with crinkles around his eyes as he smiled.

“Then let's make the best of that then.” She gasped as he suddenly stood and without preamble carried her into the bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed before flipping her around and she got on all fours without hesitation. He groaned as his hands grasped her hips again and she couldn’t help but rock backwards, feeling him has he turned hard again.

“Sandor…” she whimpered as he leaned over her and pressed kisses to her neck and then moved his lips down her spine, causing a mix of open mouthed heat and wet kisses that had her reeling. She couldn’t keep herself from trying to push herself against him, hoping that her motions would make him place himself where she needed him most.

“Little Bird.” His name for her was spoken in a soft whisper but his hands on her were far from soft. His touch was firm as one hand dragged up her side until it moved to her front and cupped her breast. She gasped as he pinched her nipple and he hissed when she pushed her hips flush against him and wiggled against him. “Love.”

The tenderly spoken word was followed by the sensation of his tip pushing through her entrance and her head fell forward with a groan. His hips pushed forward achingly slow and as her wet heat pulled him further and further inside she heard his breath catching. 

Once he was completely inside of her his hands moved back down her back and the heavy press of his fingers made her want to purr. Before she could his hands grasped her hips and pulled out of her before using his firm grip to pull her firmly back, thrusting inside her so hard that she threw her head back with a startled groan. The sound must have spurred him on because he did it again even harder and she knew he was finally letting go of that last shred of control he had been clinging to. 

He set a frantic unyielding pace and when he leaned over her and pressed his forehead against her back she felt the hot tears he was shedding. His beard dragged against her skin with every thrust and intensified the burn inside of her enough to force her down on her elbows as white searing pleasure weakened her.

“Fucking hells…” Sandor groaned out as she clenched around him so hard that she felt like she could make out every ridge and vein of him. She felt him go stiff above her and then his heavy weight caused her to collapse to the mattress. She grunted in protest and chuckled when he rolled off her with a displeased sound leaving his mouth as he pulled out of her.

She rolled over to her side and pressed her hand to his heaving chest and he turned his head to look at her. His scarred side was on full display and his hair a wild mess, but what struck her the hardest was the streak of tears that were visible on his face. She lifted her hand to tenderly wipe them away and he threw his arm around her and pulled her flush against him. She burrowed her face in the juncture between his shoulder and neck and took a deep breath, pulling his scent into her lungs. His grip tightened around her as she pressed a soft kiss to his pulse point and he turned his head so that he could press his lips against her forehead in a tender kiss.

Sansa tilted her head up as smiled softly against him and when he returned it with a smile of his own they tighetend their grip on each other and held each other close as they blocked out the sunlight and the start of the day. As she felt his heartrate beneath her cheek and his arms around her she allowed herself to feel hopeful that maybe soon they would be able to feel whole again. Stronger.

* * *

“So what you are saying is that the wedding is off but it is also on?” Margaery looked at her across the table with a slight frown on her face and Sansa nodded before turning her eyes down to her plate and pushed the pasta around just to have something to occupy herself with.

“We’ll get married here instead. With just like our closest friends and family. In the courthouse I guess,” Sansa said and she tried to sound calm but she could tell that Margaery didn’t buy it for a second. “I had a falling out with my parents, over Sandor. The wedding my mom planned is off and they are not invited to this one.”

Margaery’s face twisted into a pained grimace as she reached out her hand and placed it on Sansa’s arm. Sansa forced out a small smile but as Margaery’s touched tightened she felt her eyes water.

“I just hate that it had to come to this… I can’t understand why they can’t see how happy he makes me.” Margaery’s eyes welled up with tears and Sansa picked up her napkin and dabbed at the corner of her eyes to keep her tears from falling. 

“Honestly, I was shocked with your mother’s behaviour when we went dress shopping,” Margaery said and cleared her throat. “I am so sorry that you had a falling out. But your day should be about you and Sandor.”

“I know. And I still want you to be my maid of honour. Even if it’s just for a ceremony at the courthouse.” Margaery’s eyes lit up then and the sudden happiness on her face made Sansa a confused mix of happy and concerned.

“You don’t have to get married in the courthouse, if you don’t want. My grandmother is the president of a garden society. They have restored this beautiful park with a huge flower garden. I am sure she can help us and get them to allow you to have your ceremony there if you want.” Sansa felt her eyes well up from a completely opposite emotion then and the smile that graced her face might be a bit wobbly but it was genuin.

“Really? That sounds amazing.” Margaery pulled her phone out of her purse and quickly typed something before handing the phone to Sansa. As Sansa scrolled down the page she felt her heart swell as she saw the picture of an arch covered in white flowers at the end of a pathway. It looked perfect and so beautiful that she could cry. Yet again. 

“I’ll call my grandmother right away. When did they say your dress would be ready?” Margaery asked and Sansa felt her happiness fall. “What?”

“I can’t wear that dress. My parents paid for it…” Margaery scoffed harshly and squeezed Sansa’s arm.

“Yes you can. They brought this on themselves. Their actions caused them to be disinvited. That doesn’t mean you can’t wear the dress if you truly want to.” Sansa tried to contemplate Margaery’s words and she knew she would never be able to find a dress that she loved as much as that one. “I mean, it’s already paid for in full. You loved it and so will Sandor.”

Sansa couldn’t help but imagine how Sandor would look waiting for her beneath that archway and the way his eyes would glisten with unshed tears as she walked towards him in that beautiful gown. The fact that her father wouldn’t be there to give her away stung, but as she focused on Sandor she felt like it would be their day. Their moment and she knew Margaery was right.

“I’m going to wear the dress, I had a fitting scheduled in three weeks so I’ll see when they think the dress will be ready. And I’ll see what Sandor thinks about the flower garden and get back to you,” Sansa said and Margaery’s face split into an excited smile.

“We both know he’ll go along with anything you want. That man only wants you to be happy.” Margaery’s words made Sansa’s chest swell with happiness. Because she knew they were true. He had only ever wanted her to be happy and she hoped that he knew that she felt the same way about him.

_ I’m just going to have to make sure he knows. I have to show him. He needs to know that the happiness of my future husband means everything to me. He means everything to me. _

  
  



	21. No backsies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are getting closer and closer to the wedding. Will things run smoothly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I've got another chapter for you. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos and just shown me so much love. It means the absolute world! We are closing in on the end of this story and I am so excited for you guys to read what happens.
> 
> Also - Paperdollgirl made a beautiful piece of fanart for this story and I am so honoured and grateful! I have added it to the first chapter to this story, as a header.

“I am not going in there,” Sandor protested and when Bronn shoved him in the back to get him to move he firmly planted his feet into the ground. “Don’t make me fucking deck you.”

Bronn gave a frustrated grunt from behind him and stopped his shoving so suddenly that Sandor almost lost his balance. With an angry snarl Sandor turned around to glare at the other man who glared right back, with not the slightest of fear in his blue eyes.

“It’s your bachelor party. Visiting a strip club is a must,” Bronn persisted but Sandor’s only response was a snarl before he started walking away from the tacky neon sign advertising Girls Girls Girls and headed towards what looked like a dingy bar at the end of the street.

“I told you no fucking strippers,” Sandor growled out as Bronn hurried to catch up with him. Sandor had no interest in looking at any other naked women then the one he was set to marry in just a few weeks time. He was pretty sure that Sansa would not appreciate him visiting a strip club, he was pretty sure women didn’t like their fiancees looking at the tits of some stranger. He also wasn’t in the mood for some girl looking at him with thinly veiled disgust before she forced herself to dance for him, looking anywhere but his face.

He had a woman now, who not only looked him in the face but who smiled while doing so. Who’s eyes filled with love and happiness when she saw him. Who looked at him with desire and wanted him in every way. Nothing else would compare to that.

“You are no fun,” Bronn complained as Sandor pulled the door to the bar open but he stepped through and headed straight for the bar. “Four shots of vodka.”  
“Fuck no. Scotch,” Sandor corrected the order and the bartender barely threw them a glance before turning to another customer. The air was thick with smoke and the smell of beer and sweat. It was all dark wood and the low dim light was probably an effort to hide all the nasty stains. Sandor didn’t mind though, he just wanted a drink and in a place like this people would leave him the fuck alone. “You’re the one who was supposed to plan a bachelor party I’d enjoy. Instead you were thinking with your cock, as usual.”

“Hey, I took you to a nice steak dinner and a hockey game,” Bronn protested and Sandor downed one shot, enjoying the slight burn as the alcohol went down his throat.

“It’s my season tickets.” Bronn glared at him as he downed his own shot and Sandor knew he was being a moody bastard. More than usual and perhaps Bronn didn’t deserve all of the blame for it. “But the steak was really good.”

“The cows get fed beer. Apparently that’s what makes them so fucking tender.” Sandor didn’t know what to say to that so instead he just nodded before downing his second shot and ordering them beers. Bronn pointed to a vacant booth in the back and Sandor followed him and sat down with a heavy sigh. “So, what are the ladies doing tonight?”

“Margaery took Sansa to a spa, a few hours out of town. Some fancy ass place and they’ll be staying the night,” Sandor said with a shrug and the unexpected sting in his chest made him empty half his beer. He hadn’t spent a night away from Sansa since she came back from the north and he hadn’t liked the prospect of doing so. Not that he would ever stop her from going on an overnight trip with her friends, that wasn’t the kind of man he was. But that didn’t mean that he had to enjoy her being gone. They were in a good place again, hell they were getting married soon. He knew she would come back home but he didn’t enjoy the small twinge of pain in his chest. Because it wasn’t fucking logical. It was stupid, needy and fucking immature. He was none of those things. Or at least he had thought so.

“So since you blew my plans for tonight, what do you want to do?” Bronn asked and Sandor downed the rest of his drink before sighing.

“Drink.” The grin that split Bronn’s face could not mean anything good.

He lost track of the number of shots they had but he had passed the line between buzzed and moved into drunk when he accepted a shot of disgusting vodka and the taste didn’t seem so bad to him. Bronn was leaning his chin in his hand as he sighed and gave Sandor a long look.

“You think I’d have a shot at that fine ass maid of honour of Sansa’s?” Bronn asked and Sandor chuckled at the hopeful look on Bronn’s face. For a moment he just looked at his friend and then he shrugged.

“Had you asked me a few months ago I would have told you in your fucking dreams. But I mean, I am with a woman so fucking out of my league so why the fuck not?” Sandor answered honestly and Bronn threw his arm over his shoulder and leaned into him.

“I’m so fuckin’ happy for you, man. You’re getting married. Who the fuck would have thought that would ever happen?” Bronn said, his voice slightly slurred as it caused Sandor’s face to pull into a scowl. “Oh come on, man! You are like the grumpiest motherfucker on this earth.”

Sandor knew he couldn’t argue that and he knew that Bronn was right. He was a lucky bastard to have met someone who looked past that, someone who brought out a better part of him. He had no idea how he was so lucky to have met Sansa but he just knew he was.

“I fucking love her.” Sandor couldn’t keep a slightly lopsided smile to pull at his face and Bronn grinned at him. “I can’t fucking wait to marry her.”

“Good for you, and fucking good for you that you decided to commit. Sometimes you let shit get in the way and then when you realise you are being an ass you are too late to fix it.” Bronn pulled his arm away before he downed another vodka shot. Even in his inebriated state Sandor could tell that Bronn had a specific reason for his train of thought. “I lost the one woman I have ever loved because of my fear of commitment. She wanted to get married before one of my tours and I told her that I didn’t want to commit. I thought it would be better, in case I didn’t make it back. I was so fucking stupid. I mean what difference does it make if you are their boyfriend or their husband? They would still grieve you.”

Sandor pushed another shot towards Bronn who downed it without even looking up from the table. Sandor wasn’t sure what to say and he figured the best thing was to just be quiet and wait to see if the other man had something more to say.

“I got a Dear John letter two months into my tour and that was when I realised how badly I had fucked up. I decided then and there that as soon as I got back I’d show her that I was able to commit,” Bronn said and sighed.

“What happened?” Sandor asked and he couldn’t help but brace himself for what he knew would not be a happy ending. After all, he had known Bronn for years and there had never been a steady woman in his life during that time. Hell, the man had never indicated that he wanted anything but the one night stands that he had no trouble getting.

“I was a dumb cunt. I bought a fucking ring, went to her place only to find out that she had moved. I was able to get her new address and it turns out she was living with a man. And get this, she was pregnant.” Bronn chuckled but it was a dark self deprecating laugh and Sandor felt his stomach drop.

“Pregnant?”

“Oh, it wasn’t mine. I had been on tour for 12 months. But I realised that I lost my chance at that life. Better off alone.” Sandor scoffed angrily and it was loud enough to make Bronn lift his head to stare at him.

“Now you sound like me. Turns out I was fucking wrong. You can have so much more than you fucking think. If you truly want to.” Sandor’s words made Bronn’s lip twitch in an amused smile.

“Well, listen to you. Mr Sunshine. I guess finding the love of your life would do that to ya,huh?” Sandor didn’t know what to say to that, instead he only shrugged and got up to get them some more drinks. When he got back he tried to read his friend’s mood but Bronn only lifted his head and gave Sandor that carefree grin of his. This time Sandor wasn’t sure if it was only a coping mechanism.

“I’ll talk to Sansa about you getting Margaery’s number. I am not making any promises though. I don’t think she fucking likes you.” Bronn threw his head back and he laughed so loudly that some of the other patrons of the bar turned their heads to stare. Once he had collected himself Bronn raised his glass and gave Sandor a more genuine smile.

“Everybody likes me. I mean, even you do. And you hate everyone.” Sandor scoffed and Bronn’s smile widened. “Except for me and Sansa of course. Cheers to you finding yourself a lovely woman to love and who loves you back. You lucky bastard.”

Sandor raised his drink in response and couldn’t keep the small smile from pulling the corner of his lips upward.

“I really am.” Sandor's small smile turned into a big one as his mind focused on Sansa. One really fucking lucky bastard.

* * *

Sandor’s head felt like it was about to push his brain out of his ears as he slowly came to. He groaned as he tried to turn around but something kept him from being able to turn. As his still alcohol infused mind tried to make sense of where he was, there was a low groan coming from behind him and it made his eyes fly open. The second they did he cursed beneath his breath as the bright sunlight burned his sensitive retinas.

In the few seconds of having his eyes open he recognised his and Sansa’s bedroom and he couldn’t remember how he got home but he was relieved to know that he had. He tried to rack his mind through the few memories he had of last night and he remembered him and Bronn drinking a ridiculous amount of alcohol. Something pressed against his back and he knew it wasn’t Sansa. Because she wasn’t home and she wouldn’t be home until later in the day. His last memory was of Bronn telling him it was time to go home and he must have done just that.

There was a low hum against his back and Sandor flew out of the bed to get away from the sound. He was still dressed in last night clothes and the smell of stale alcohol and sour sweat made his already nauseous stomach roll. In hopes of keeping himself from throwing up all over the bedroom floor he held his breath as he turned around to stare at the shape on the bed.

“What the fuck are you doing in my fucking bed?” he growled out at the dark shape that grunted in response before lifting it’s head.

“You said I could crash here,” Bronn grunted out in a croak as he pulled the covers over himself, hiding beneath them.

“Not in my fucking bed!” Sandor snarled and his face twisted in a painful grimace as his raised voice made his head throb even harder.

“Why are you shouting? Shut up, you cunt,” Bronn hissed from beneath the yellow fabric and Sandor groaned as his head started to throb so hard he wondered if it was at risk of exploding. A low whine came from beneath the covers before Bronn stuck his head out from under it. “Can you make it stop?”

Sandor looked at his friend with a confused frown and then the pounding started again and he realised it wasn’t his head, or at least not just his head, but also the front door. He sluggishly made his way down the hallway and the whole way the cunt on the other side of the door kept pounding away. By the time Sandor pushed the door open he wanted to rip the head of whoever was on the other side of the door. He had just opened his mouth to ask them what the fuck they wanted when his mind clicked on who was standing outside of his door.

Well, I’d still want to rip his head off.

“Hello.” Ned Stark’s voice was calm and polite and his face gave away no emotions as he tilted his head to look up at Sandor. Sandor stared at the other man and he wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol he knew he was reeking off but Ned’s nose wrinkled slightly before he cleared his throat. And that small change made Sandor feel his anger start to flare.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Sandor’s sharp tone made the other man flinch but he collected himself quickly, returning his face to it’s impassive mask yet again.

“I wish to speak to you. May I come in?” Sandor was about to tell him to fuck off but the words died on his tongue and he knew why. Because of Sansa. No matter what she said about not wanting her parents in her life if they could not support her and Sandor, he couldn’t believe that she would be happy with him slamming the door in her father’s face. For her sake he would hear what the other man had to say. Even if it meant fighting his instincts.

“Sansa isn’t here,” Sandor said in a low warning but to his surprise Ned simply nodded.

“Like I said. I wish to speak to you. At least before I speak to my daughter.” Sandor would not bother with fucking nicetiest or make this easy on the other man. He didn’t owe him anything. So he didn’t answer him instead he simply turned around and walked into the living room leaving the door open. A short moment passed and then Sansa’s father slowly entered the apartment. His grey eyes swept over the room and Sandor made sure to hold his head high.

Sure, this place was not as grand as the Stark family home but he was proud of how Sansa had turned this place into a home and she had made sure to make him feel like it was just as much his place as hers when he moved in. Sandor expected to see Ned's face twist in displeasure but instead there was a small smile that pulled at his mouth as his eyes landed on the wall covered in photos.

“Sansa has always had an eye for capturing moments,” Ned said and the affection in his voice was unmistakable even to Sandor. Ned cleared his throat and took a step back as if he caught himself and the calm mask returned. “Perhaps we could have some coffee?”

Sandor crossed his arms over his chest and stared the other man down. Not only did he knock on Sandor’s door unannounced on a Sunday morning after trying his hardest to make Sansa leave him, as if claiming to want to talk wasn’t bad enough. Now he was expecting to be served beverages? He has some fucking nerve.

“You look like you could use some coffee. And I know I could.” Ned’s words reminded Sandor that he was still in last night’s clothes and that he must have spilled both beer and vodka on them by the smell of it. And it did not help with his stomach.

“The coffeemaker is in the kitchen. I am going to change.” Sandor hurried into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it haphazardly towards the corner where the hamper was and he almost jumped out of his skin when a low whistle came from the bed. He whirled around to find Bronn laying on the bed with a pleased grin on his face.

“Who’s that?” Bronn asked and Sandor sighed before he turned back towards the dresser and pulled out a clean t-shirt.

“Sansa’s father,” he answered in a low growl and in an instance Bronn was on his feet and his face twisted in anger.

“The asshole that was trying to come between you and Sansa, he’s here?” Sandor nodded and caught the way Bronn’s jaw flexed as he bit down on his molars. “The fucking nerve! Want me to kick his ass?”

Sandor sighed and shook his head but that only made Bronn nod with no sign of calming down.

“Of course, you want to kick his ass yourself. I’ll block the exit so he can’t run then.”

“I am not going to kick my fiancee’s father’s ass.” No matter how satisfying it probably would be. No matter how much it made him sick to his stomach he knew he needed to be the bigger man here. He didn’t want to prove Ned Stark right but most of all he did not want to disappoint Sansa. She didn’t need the added stress of him being charged with assault on her father. “I think it’s best you head out. This will be unpleasant enough without adding another person.”

Bronn nodded slowly and followed Sandor out of the bedroom. To Sandor’s relief he didn’t say anything to Ned. He just glared at the man as he moved past him and gave a sharp nod to Sandor before closing the door behind him.

“A friend of yours I presume?” Ned said and Sandor hummed in response while he poured himself a cup of the coffee Ned had made. He felt the other man’s eyes on him but he kept his back turned and remained quiet. Ned had been the one to reach out, the one who claimed to want to talk. Sandor had no intention of starting the conversation.

It seemed as if Ned didn’t know where to start so Sandor decided to make himself some eggs and bacon to hopefully settle his stomach. While he cooked he could feel the tension radiating off Ned and he couldn’t take it anymore. He whirled around and glared at the other man who released a deep sigh and sat down at the kitchen table.

“I… Bran and Rickon’s invitations to the wedding came in the mail earlier this week.” Sandor had known that this surprise visit must have something to do with the upcoming wedding and he braced himself for a last ditch effort from the Stark patriarch to keep it from happening.

You are shit out of luck, old man. She will be my wife no matter what you try to do or say.

“We weren’t expecting an invitation, considering how things unfolded. But I… I came here to ask you… To see if…” There was an unexpected crack in Ned’s stoic mask then and the raw emotions in his grey eyes unnerved Sandor. He had never thought the man would be capable of being vulnerable in front of him. “She’s my little girl and I… I should be there to give her away.”

Sandor couldn’t keep in an angry scoff and he saw a flicker of anger on the other man’s face but at this point Sandor didn’t give a shit what the other man thought of him. Ned had after all made his low opinion of him clear and it was low enough to want to keep Sansa away from him at all cost. So why the fuck should he care what Ned thought?

“What? You thought coming here would change things?” The way Ned’s jaw clenched was all the answer Sandor needed. “I am not some asshole who’s keeping her from inviting you. She chose to exclude you. Because of the shit you pulled.”

The silence that followed was heavy and Sandor didn’t feel like eating, his stomach feeling too queasy with discomfort but he knew he would only feel worse if he didn’t. So he sat down across from Sansa’s father and ate, waiting for what was to come next.

“I know we acted unfairly. We did what we did because we thought it best for Sansa. She did not feel the same and she has made her choice. I am just asking for a chance to turn things around. Starting with me being there on her wedding day.” The anger that flared up inside Sandor had him clenching his hands into fists and he had to fight the urge to jump to his feet and cuss the other man out. “Catelyn didn’t want to come because she thought it would be pointless to try and talk to you, but I had to try.”

“You’ve got some fucking nerve, you know that?” Sandor couldn’t keep the disdain of his voice and Ned flinched back at the sharply spoken words. “I don’t give a fuck what you have to say. It won’t change anything because you have shown through your actions what you think of me. So keep your bullshit reasoning to yourself.”

“She is my daughter…” Ned tried to speak but Sandor cut him off with a snarl.

“She will be my wife. And there is nothing you can do about that. I won’t let you come between us again.” Ned sighed heavily and Sandor forced his anger down. He didn’t need the situation to escalate. He just wanted the man to leave them the fuck alone. “Let’s be clear. I don’t fucking want you at the wedding but I would never deny her if it was something she wanted.”

“I’ve tried talking to her but she won’t take my calls. I thought that if you talked to her she might be willing to talk to me.” The disgust that filled Sandor had him pushing his plate away with such force that it almost slid off the table. Ned reached out a hand to stop it and Sandor felt his lip twitch in anger.

“You burned your bridges with her. I am not going to fucking do anything. I don’t owe you shit.” Sandor’s voice was a low growl in warning but the other man didn’t seem afraid. He looked defeated and the sigh he released confirmed it. “Sansa makes her own choice. You should know that if you truly knew her.”

“Now you listen to me. I have come here and apologised and you have been nothing but hostile…” A deep angry growl erupted from Sandor’s chest as he stood and glared down at the other man.

He had the nerve to come into Sandor’s home and act entitled. Acted as if what he had done had not been despicable. Acted as if he had no fault in the situation his meddling had created. Claiming to have apologised when his behaviour showed no remorse whatsoever. Sandor opened his mouth to say just that when a melodic voice rang out from the doorway, harder than he had ever heard it.

“You need to leave.” Both men’s heads snapped towards the kitchen doorway where Sansa stood, her face and eyes filled with anger. It must have been later in the day then Sandor had thought if she was back already. Her red hair was pulled away from her face in a soft braid and her skin was free from makeup, her auburn lashes heightening the blue of her eyes.

“Sansa…” Ned’s voice softened and the pain that suddenly appeared on his face almost made Sandor feel bad for the man. Almost. “Kitten, I came here to…”

“I heard,” Sansa’s voice was like ice and Sandor worried that her cold demeanor was a way to hide the pain her father’s present inflicted. “And my decision stands. We only want people who support us there on our day.”

Sandor saw Ned take a step towards her and on pure instinct he took a step forward, blocking the other man’s path. He didn’t think Ned would harm her but his instincts told him to protect her, the only way he could. He could do nothing about the pain she must be experiencing as she met her father for the first time in weeks. But he could show her that he was there for her, on her side. Forever.

He felt taught like a string but when her soft hand came to rest on his back he felt himself relax and he took a step backwards, into the touch and closer to her. In response her thumb moved in slow caresses, succeeding in calming him.

“Sansa please you have to listen to me,” Ned tried to plead but from the corner of his eye Sandor saw that it only seemed to turn her eyes even harder.

“I do not have to do anything. Now please leave. Don’t make me have to ask Sandor to remove you.” He would do it, no hesitation. He’d grab the man by the arm or by the back of his shirt and he would be out of there. Sandor almost wanted him to make him do it, if only for the slight outlet it would be for the anger and frustration he was feeling.

To his own surprise he felt relieved when Ned headed towards the door. It wasn’t relief that the man was leaving, or at least not simply that. It was also the relief of not having to physically remove the other man, because he knew that if it had come to that there was never going to be a chance to repair things. Sandor knew the chance of that either way was slim but for Sansa’s sake he didn’t want to turn it into an impossibility.

“Please, rethink this.” Ned said as he reached the door and Sandor could feel the heaviness of the sigh Sansa released in his own chest.

“This is on you and mom. You have to live with that.” When the door closed behind her father Sansa seemed to deflate and Sandor quickly pulled her into his arms. She pressed her face into his chest as her arms tightened around his back and he held his breath waiting for her tears but they never came. Instead she simply held him as he held her in return and he made the most of the moment.

He nuzzled his face into her hair and hummed as the smell of something citrusy hit his nostrils. He was probably a horrible human being because he wanted to feel sad for her, he knew that this had probably been horrible for her. And a small part of him might have but he couldn’t be sure because the biggest part of him felt happy. Happy because she had chosen him again, she had shown no hesitation in her choice. She had thrown her father out of there faster then Sandor ever could have dared imagine and even though he wished she didn’t have to chose he was fucking elated that she had made the choice she had.

“I fucking love you, you know that right?” he said against her auburn head and she pulled back enough to be able to tilt her chin up to look at him. Perhaps she thought that he would have wanted to talk about what happened but honestly he didn’t. He felt like he had no doubts on where they stood and he didn’t want her to feel any either. So he pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss in hopes of showing her that.

“I know. You left a very sweet and incoherent voicemail last night. But the gist of it was how much you loved me so the sentiment was very much appreciated.” His face twisted in confusion but when she giggled up at him he couldn’t fight a smile. He didn’t want to. “You don’t remember do you?”

When he shook his head she pulled out her phone from her pocket and called her voice mail. As the sound of music filled the room his slurred half shouting voice rang out over it.

“Sansa! I miss you…! I want to count your freckles. You have a spot on the back of your shoulder that looks like a weird connect-the-dots banana. Did you know that? I love that banana. And I love you. So fucking much.” There was a paus and Sandor felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. It didn’t help that Sansa was obviously fighting a laugh as his drunk tirade continued. “I’mma marry you. Yup. Not backsies. Me and you. Fuck, can’t believe you want me too. I wanna love you and put babies in you and… Shut up Bronn! What was I…? Right, pups. So many pups. Puppies! Loads of them. And… Not now Bronn. Fuck off!”

Sansa released a giggle as there was an obvious shuffle on the other line and Sandor felt his lip twitch. God, how drunk had they been?

“Fine. I said FINE! Bronn wants Marge… Margar… Maregy’s number. He’s an asshole but he’s a good one, you know? She could do worse. I love you. I’mma count your freckles when you get home, okay?”

“What the fuck kind off endorsement is that, you cunt?!” Bronn was heard shouting in the background before the line cut and Sandor could feel her shaking with laughter against him.

“Well that explains why I feel like shit today. I probably deserve it.” Her blue eyes beamed up at him and he leaned his head down to rest his forehead against hers. “You sure you still want to marry that mess?”

“Yup. No backsies,” she quipped and a surprised laugh flew out of him and within seconds they were laughing so hard in each other’s arms that he had to pull her over to the couch to keep them from falling over.

As she settled in his lap, her arms still wound around him and still shaking from laughter he knew that no matter what they would always have this. It might not be perfect or painless but it was theirs. Forever.


	22. Wedding day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their day, the wedding is here. Will it go without a hitch? Will they even get hitched?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, that summary was awful... 
> 
> I hope you guys are doing good and are safe and healthy.  
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Sansa had imagined this day so many times in the last few weeks of planning it. What she hadn’t expected was the sudden strike of nerves that made her feel like a swarm of butterflies had made a permanent home in her stomach. She supposed that it was only natural since it was the biggest day of her life so far. The biggest day of their life for sure.

Margaery had gone above and beyond what was required of her as the maid of honour. She had been there with Sansa and Sandor every step of the way and even though it wasn’t what she had originally planned, Sansa found herself loving every part of it. Margaery’s mother had been so excited about them having the ceremony at the flower garden and had suggested that they hold the reception in the garden’s all glass greenhouse . It was large enough to hold a few round tables and still have space for people to dance to the two man band that they had booked.

Everything had been checked off their list and Sansa did not feel worried about something going awry. What had the butterflies going crazy was the thought of Sandor. He had agreed to everything she had suggested without complaint but he had not once made a suggestion of his own. Would he be happy? Would it be everything he had wanted for them?

“Why are you frowning?” Margaery’s question had Sansa coming back from being deep in thought and she forced her face into a smooth calm mask. She focused on her reflection in the mirror she was standing in front of and the butterflies acted up again.

She loved her dress, the all lace long sleeves giving a vintage feel and Margaery had styled her auburn hair into soft locks and had placed a headband adorned with silver roses in it. She felt beautiful and as she looked into her own eyes reflecting back at her she wanted to focus on the happiness she felt. It outweighed her nerves and she couldn’t wait for Sandor to see her walking down the aisle towards him. A sudden sting was felt deep in her chest as she remembered that she would be walking down the aisle alone. She knew that it had been the right choice to not invite her parents but knowing that they would not see her get married still hurt. 

“It’s nothing. I am just a little nervous,” Sansa said but the look on Margaery’s face told her that she wasn’t convinced. “I almost imagined this day and it’s amazing, it’s going to be amazing. It’s just…”

“Your parents?” Sansa nodded and she felt stupid for feeling sad. This was her and Sandor’s day and it shouldn’t matter. She had been the one to tell them they weren’t welcome, she had avoided their calls and the last time she had seen her father she had told him to get out of her home. She knew not having them there was the right choice, she just wished that she had never been put in the situation of having to make it.

There was a rap of knuckles against the door and before either of them could react it flew open and the Stark brood entered in quick succession. The appearance of her family made the ache in Sansa’s chest lessen and as she took them in she couldn’t fight a big smile from splitting her face. Her brothers all looked so handsome in their black suits and when Rickon gave her a sheepish smile she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow, Sansa. Can’t believe you convinced the big man to still marry you.” Arya’s teasing was followed with a hiss as Bran’s elbow hit her on the ribs. She glared at her younger brother as she rubbed the sore spot. “What? I am happy about it, obviously!”

Sansa couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed at her sister. Arya was there and she was wearing a lovely cerulean blue suit with a nude coloured camisole and her dark hair was in soft waves around her face. She looked beautiful, and she looked like herself. Sansa couldn’t keep in a gasp as Hannah took a step forward. Her niece was wearing a lovely light blue lace dress with a tulle skirt and a flower crown in her dark hair.

“Oh Hannah, you look so beautiful.” The little girl’s face beamed with pride and Sansa carefully leaned down to wrap her arms around the young girl. “Have they explained what you’re going to do?”

“Yup. Mommy told me I should walk towards Uncle Sandor and drop the petals on the way to him. A little at a time.” Hannah’s dark eyes were serious as she held Sansa’s and Sansa felt tears well up in her eyes, for what probably wouldn’t be the last time that day.

Her parents might not be there but the rest of her family was, and they all supported them. They all just wanted her to be happy and understood that what made her happy was Sandor. 

“So I know this isn’t what you originally had planned for your day…” Robb’s voice was careful as he gave her a soft look and she smiled at him. “But it looks beautiful out there and so do you.”

“I am so happy that you are all here.” Sansa’s voice trembled as she spoke and it was all the incentive that her siblings needed to wrap their arms around her. She couldn’t wrap her arms around all four of them but she felt Rickon’s hand grasp hers and she gave it a firm squeeze as they all held each other.

“Right, now I have to fix her makeup again. You guys better get to your seats or we are never getting this lady down the aisle. We don’t want to keep the big man waiting, I don’t think he is the patient type.” With a soft smile Margaery ushered them through the door but as it closed behind her siblings and Hannah, Sansa realised that Robb had stayed.

“What are you doing? You need to get to your seat.” Robb’s blue eyes looked at her intently and there was a sadness in them that made Sansa want to reach out and take his hand.

“I’m waiting to walk my sister down the aisle.” With watery eyes Sansa reached her hands out towards her older brother who closed the distance between them and wrapped his large hands around hers. There was a comfort in the strength in his grip that suddenly made it easier to breath and his blue eyes had a slight sheen to them as he squeezed her hands. “I know that you imagined today a bit different. That you imagined that dad would walk you down the aisle…”

Sansa's chest felt as if it was suddenly being pushed against her lungs and she shook her head as she tried to breathe. 

“They made the wrong choice. They allowed their prejudice and preconceived ideas of what would be best for you to get in the way of seeing what was making you happy. Or rather whom.” A small smile pulled at Sansa’s mouth then and Robb responded with one of his own. “I know I’m not dad. And that it’s not the same but I’d be honoured if you’d let me walk you towards the man of your choice.”

“I love you Robbie.” Sansa pulled him into her chest and for a long moment they just held each other and Sansa felt like things might not have turned out the way she had always pictured or the way she had hoped. But it was a good day, a beautiful day and she was going to get married to the man she loved with the people who loved and supported them there to see it. Over Robb’s shoulder her eyes met Margaery’s. Her friend wiped away a stray tear as she smiled tenderly at her. Margaery looked like she was about to say something when there was a sharp knock on the door before she could and before either of them were able to respond it started pushing open.

“Little bird… I need to…” Sansa eyes widened in horror as she looked at Margaery. Before Sandor was able to push the door open Margaery leapt across the small room and body checked the door closed. There was a surprised grunt from the otherside of the door that had Sansa biting her cheek to keep from laughing. She could feel the slight shake of Robb’s shoulders that indicated he was trying to hide his laughter too. “What the fuck?”

“You can’t come in here!” Margaery scolded through the door, her eyes alight with indignation. “It’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony!”

“Fuck that superstitious shit,” Sandor growled and Sansa could picture the way his forehead was pulled into an annoyed frown. “I need to talk to Sansa.”

“Unless it’s about you wanting to cancel the wedding, in which case I will let you in here so I can murder you, it will have to wait until after the ceremony.” Margaery’s voice was low in warning and if Sandor had been able to see the look on her face Sansa was sure he would be scared of the brown haired woman. Robb pulled out of Sansa’s arms to turn around and stared at the door as if he was contemplating murder.

“What? Cancel?” The confusion in Sandor’s voice had Sansa’s lip twitching with a smile and Margaery and Robb seemed to visibly relax. “Sansa?”

“Yes love?” Sansa called back and there was a heavy sigh from the other side of the door, so heavy in fact that it made Sansa’s stomach turn into a knot.

“Your dad is here.” For a second Sansa didn’t register what he had said, there was just a deafening silence before she had to reach her hand out to steady herself against a side table. She opened her mouth to ask about her mother but the words wouldn’t come. Perhaps because she knew what the answer would be. Sandor seemed to know where her mind had gone. “It’s just him. He came to my dressing room and asked me if he could please stay for the ceremony.”

“What…” Sansa’s voice cracked as her chest constricted almost painfully. Her dad was there, he had defied the fact that she hadn’t invited him. She should be angry, she should be annoyed because it was disrespectful to her and to Sandor. Perhaps a part of her was but there was also a part of her, that as her eyes welled with tears, felt relieved.

_ My daddy will see me get married. _

“What did you tell him?” Her voice was shaking but at least she managed to get the words out loud enough for him to hear her.

“I told him it wasn’t up to me. That it was up to you,” Sandor said and the tears were so close to falling then that she had to desperately blink them away to keep from ruining her makeup. “If you want him here, it’s okay. I’m okay with it.”

She was so tempted then to open the door so that she could hug him and have him hold her close. She had no idea how she had been so lucky to find someone as selfless as Sandor. What her parents had done had been horrible and they had tried to push him away from the moment they met him. Despite it all he was still willing to be the bigger man and have her father at the wedding. 

“If you are sure, then he can stay.” There was a low grunt in agreement and Sansa felt her chest swell as she tried to imagine him on the other side of the door. “Sandor? I love you, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Now hurry up so I can marry you.” Despite the emotional turmoil in her chest she couldn’t help but laugh and after a moment of hesitation Margaery seemed sure that Sandor wasn’t going to barge through the door she released it and hurried over to Sansa to check the state of her makeup.

“Did you know?” Sansa asked while Margaery was fixing the few strands that had been disrupted by the sibling’s hugging session. Robb shook his head and Sansa knew she had no reason to not believe him. After all, Bran and Rickon’s invitations had gone to the house so he could have gotten all the information from those. “I still want you to walk me down the aisle.”

“Are you sure?” She nodded as she held his eyes and he nodded in return. Allowing her father to be there did not mean that she had forgiven him for everything. It didn’t mean that things were going to go back to how they had been. But perhaps it meant that things could change for the better, that they were taking the first step towards mending their relationship. And perhaps in the process it was transforming into something new.

She felt a sting in her chest as her thoughts returned to her mother. For a moment she might have hoped that she would have changed her mind, that she would have wanted to make an effort too. But Sansa should have known that her mother was too proud and too stubborn to admit that she had been in the wrong. Despite it being weeks her mother had not tried to contact her, it had only been her father. Perhaps her mother would never come around, perhaps she would never see how she was the cause of this rift between them. Sansa would just have to make peace with that. Even if it hurt.

“Ready, sis?” Robb asked once Margaery had given the all clear and with a beaming smile Sansa took the arm her older brother was holding out for her. “Let’s get you married.”

Sansa knew that her attention should probably be on the man waiting for her by the flower covered archway but as Robb started leading her slowly down the aisle her eyes were scanning the small crowd for her father. She found him sitting at the end of one row, next to Bran and Rickon and as their eyes met she saw that his were brimming with tears. When she passed him she felt his hand reach out and squeeze hers. It lasted only a second but as she turned her head to look down at him she couldn’t help but smile.

“Thank you,” he whispered so softly that only she could hear and when he released her hand she turned her attention forward. Sandor was already looking at her, his eyes scanning her face as he tried to read her emotions. He looked so handsome in his black suit and with his hair brushed away from his face. She felt her cheeks turn up in a happy grin and she could see the way it made him visibly relax. His shoulders dropped slightly and his jaw unclenched as she came to stand before him and with a slight nod to Robb he reached out his hand for her to take.

“Are you alright?” he whispered as he clasped her hand in his and she nodded before turning towards the officiant. From the corner of her eyes she saw that Sandor looked at her for a moment longer, took a deep breath and then he turned to face the officiant as well.

“Friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Sansa and Sandor. Two people who have chosen to stand in front of all us today to pledge their love and their devotion for each other. This is a joyous occasion, a day of celebrating love. And they are both so happy that you all could be here with them today.” The officiant, an elderly man with salt and pepper beard and hair and big kind eyes, smiled out towards the people gathered before turning his smile towards Sansa and Sandor. “The couple have written their own vows. Sansa, if you’d please.”

With a nod Sansa handed her bouquet to Margaery who gave her a teary eyed smile. Sansa wasn’t sure if it was nerves or the well of emotions that had her suddenly feeling weak in the knees but before anything could happen Sandor was there, his strong hands grasping hers, keeping her steady. Sansa tried to fight the tears that were threatening to escape as she turned to look at him. His face looked impassive but his eyes, the same eyes who had never been able to hide anything from her, shone with so much love that she almost sobbed as she took a deep steadying breath and pushed the gold ring onto his finger.

“Sandor. I do not know what I did right in my life so that I could deserve you. But I am so grateful that I found you. You are my best friend, my partner and most of all you are the one person I can not live without. No matter what trials may come I know that we will face them together.” Sandor’s eyes seemed to fill with tears then and his grip on her hands were almost painful but she could not fault him for the emotional reaction. If anything his only made her own emotional reaction even stronger. “You are my strength but also my haven. We are nothing but ourselves together and I love you for that. I love you so much and everyday of the rest of my life I will try to show you how much. Everyday of the rest of my life I will choose you, just as I am today.”

There was a long silent pause as she finished speaking and she could hear a few sniffles from the crowd but she didn’t want to turn her eyes away from Sandor. He was watching her wide eyed,as if she had left him speechless. He looked so light, almost like the only thing that kept him from soaring away was her hands grounding him to her. There was a slight clearing of a throat coming from the officiant but Sandor seemed to be too caught in the moment to even hear him.

“You’re up.” The officiant’s words drew laughs from the crowd and Sandor flinched before he caught himself and nodded. His hand trembled slightly as he gently pushed an identical gold band like the one on his finger onto hers. He then lifted his eyes and there was so much love in them that she struggled to breath.

“I… I used to live my life day to day, just walking around in this dimmed light. Not really caring about anything. Then you showed up, Little Bird.” Her lower lip shook and a tear escaped her eye as he spoke. There was a slight tremor in his voice that matched the one in his hand as he raised it and brushed her tear away gently with his thumb. A smile tugged at his lips then and she squeezed the hand still in hers. “Everything has changed for the better. Both in my life but also in me, thanks to you. I plan ahead now, I think of the future and everything is so fucking bright. And that’s because of you. You are my light and my future, I love you so fucking much. With almost killing me you brought me to life.”

Sansa was truly crying then and without waiting for the officiant's words she threw her arms around his neck and when he leaned down to press his lips against hers she met him halfway. It was a tender kiss, filled with emotion but it felt like the strongest one they had ever shared. Because it was the start of their new lives together.

“Well then, I suppose I pronounce you husband and wife.” The laughter from the crowd made Sansa pull away from him, drawing a grunt of protest from Sandor as he chased her lips. His arms wound around her, pressing her close to his chest and she smiled softly up at him.

“You have all our lives to kiss me, husband,” Sansa whispered softly as she held his eyes and the smile it pulled from him was one of the brightest she had ever seen from him.

“I know. And I plan on starting now, Mrs Clegane.” Sansa was pretty sure she must look deranged from smiling so wide but as Sandor’s lips pressed against her smile she didn’t care. What she cared about was the man in her arms, the man who had just become her husband. The rest didn’t matter, not today.

Sansa Stark had with just a few words, spoken within a few minutes, turned into Sansa Clegane and she felt almost reborn.

_ Sandor and Sansa Clegane. The future is ours. _


	23. Another trip to Ikea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa takes Sandor to another trip to Ikea and he doesn't hate it. Doesn't hate most things now.

As Sandor walked through the aisles of Ikea he couldn’t help but be amazed with how much had changed since the last time he had been there. Not Ikea, Ikea was still a hellhole. He was what had changed, or more like his life. A testament to that was the red sway of thick hair that bobbed and weaved between aisles and brought things to put in their cart. Whenever Sansa returned she would press a kiss to his cheek, lips and sometimes, when he supposed he looked truly miserable she would stop and hug him tight. Those moments were the biggest difference from the last time and he didn’t even hate Ikea then. Because she was there with him, his wife.

He caught himself stroking the ring on his finger with his thumb just as Sansa came back from one of the aisle and with a soft smile he leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of her head.

“Look,” she beamed as she held up a square package that looked to contain some yellow fabric. “Wouldn’t these be perfect?”

“Eh… What is it?” he asked and her smile fell so fast that it made him reach out and cup the back of her head to keep her from looking away from him. “You know I’m no good with this swedish stuff. Or decorating.”

“It’s a bedding set.” He would never get why she valued his opinion on these things but he knew she did so he took the package from her and looked closely at it. It was a bright yellow with a soft pattern of triangles in a lighter yellow and he figured that the colour was why they had caught her eye.

“They match the colour on the walls” he said before putting them into their cart and he wrapped an arm around her when she gave him a watery smile. “You wanna get some meatballs and those cinnamon buns you like?”

She nodded as she squeezed him a little tighter and he followed her towards the restaurant. He stopped as he passed a shelf of tulips and without hesitation he grabbed some. When he turned his head towards Sansa’s direction he found her looking at him with one of those soft smiles that he liked to imagine only he could pull from her.

_ Things have definitely changed for the better. _

They had gotten a few more things then they had planned but he didn’t fault her the exessive amount of daim cake because that shit was fucking tasty. If he played his cards right he might actually get to have some himself.

As he parked the car outside of their building he hurried out to round the car to open the door for her. Before he reached it a flash of red caught his attention and as he turned his head his grey eyes met the blue of Catelyn Stark. She stood by their front door, dressed in an impeccable navy coat that looked a little too thin for the cold early December weather but Sandor figured she was used to the far colder winters of the North.

For a moment Sandor could only stare at the woman who technically was his mother in law and had been for almost six months. He knew that Sansa spoke to her father from time to time, they were still trying to mend that relationship and Ned had actually apologised for his behaviour. It had been a proper apology this time and Sandor had accepted it, for Sansa’s sake but he wasn’t one to forgive and forget. He was able to be civil and so far Sansa wasn’t asking for more, but in these months there had been no attempt from Catelyn. Nothing more than Ned asking if Sansa wanted to talk to her as they were ending their conversations and as far as Sandor knew she had always said no. Sansa had told him that she felt like her mother would never be genuine in apologising until she realised the mistakes she had made. So seeing Catelyn there, obviously waiting for them, he had no idea what she wanted or why she was there but her eyes seemed almost pleading as she stared back at him. When Catelyn took a step towards him he snapped out of his state of surprise and hurried to open the passenger door for his wife.

“Little bird…” The pet name drew a soft smile from her lips but when she noticed the concern on his face it fell and he took a deep breath. “Your mom is outside.”

She looked at him stunned and for a long time she just stared at him without saying anything and he tried to shove down the urge to push her to say or do anything. He forced himself to be quiet and when her eyes moved away from his face to try and look over his shoulder he dared to move. He reached out a hand and placed it over hers where it was laying on her lap and squeezed it.

“Whatever you need or want, I’m for it. You wanna talk to her, you want me to tell her to leave or you want me to turn this truck around and drive somewhere, whatever you want I’ll do it.” Sansa took a shaky breath before she seemed to steel herself and nodded to him. He waited for her decision to play out even though he suspected that she would want to see what her mother wanted. It wasn’t that surprising when she turned to step out of the truck and Sandor instantly offered her his hand. 

As she stepped out from behind the car door Sandor watched her carefully. Sansa’s face was impassive as her blue eyes met their copies in her mother’s face and there was a long silence as the women stared at each other. It was cut off by a sharp gasp that came from Catelyn and when it was followed by a sob Sandor saw the way Sansa’s face twisted in sadness. He wrapped his arm around her and Sansa’s hand came down to rest on top of his as it spanned the slight swell of her stomach visibly through her open coat.

“Oh Sansa…” Catelyn’s voice cracked as she took a step towards them and Sandor turned his head to look at Sansa. Her focus was completely on her mother and he didn’t like how tense she felt but he knew that it wasn’t much that he could do about that.

“What are you doing here?” Sandor was surprised by the cold tone of Sansa’s voice but if Catelyn was she showed no signs of it. The older woman looked emotional, her eyes brimmed with tears and her lip trembled as she spoke.

“I came to… I wanted to… to apologise,” Catelyn’s voice shook and Sandor had to turn his face away. He didn’t harbour any tender feelings towards his mother in law but to his surprise he found himself not wanting to tell her to fuck off. As that was usually his go to he was stunned into silence by his lack of reaction. He could only focus on his wife and he wanted her out of the cold weather.

“Sansa, maybe we should take this inside?” He asked quietly but Sansa shook her head even before he had finished his sentence.

“She does not get to come into our home.” Sansa’s voice was hard as flint and Catelyn ducked her head away from her daughter’s hard gaze. Sandor softly moved his finger’s in a soft caress on her stomach and he felt her relax slightly as she leaned into his side.

“It’s cold and you said your feet were hurting. I think we should go inside so you can sit down and relax a little. You both need it.” The way her hand tightened over his on her stomach told him that she had understood whom he had been referring to and he relaxed when she nodded.

“Fine. You can come in for a little while.” Catelyn lifted her head to look at him and there was gratefulness in her eyes, gratefulness that Sandor did not want so he scowled at her before leading Sansa past her and into through the building door.

“Honey, the bags.” Sandor turned his head towards the truck just as Catelyn followed them through the door and he debated fetching them but with the way Sansa stiffened he didn’t want to leave her alone with her mother.

“I’ll get them in a minute,” he promised as they all got into the elevator. The short ride was tense and quiet and Sandor had no idea what was going to happen once they got into the apartment.

To his relief Sansa moved to sit down on the couch and took off her boots. With a tired sigh she leaned back into the cushions and he couldn’t keep a soft smile off his face as her hands tenderly caressed her stomach. Catelyn was looking at the same thing but he knew that it was different for her.

For him Sansa was his wife, his life, and she was carrying their child. She was a wonder as she cared for the tiny life that was somehow part him and growing inside of her. He was nervous, scared shitless at times, but most of all he was excited, anxious and happy. So fucking happy.

He couldn’t imagine what Catelyn was thinking. That was her child, her little girl, and she was carrying her own little baby. It had to be strange and painful knowing that she had missed the first five months.

“Do you want something, Little Bird?” Sandor asked after a long moment of them just standing there and staring at Sansa. He needed to do something, keep himself occupied or he’d probably blurt out something that would only make the tense situation worse.

“Could I have a ginger ale?” Sansa asked and he nodded hurriedly.

“I drank so much ginger ale when I was pregnant with you. It was the only thing that helped with the morning sickness.” Catelyn’s voice cut through the room and despite the softness in her voice Sandor saw the way it made Sansa’s flinch.

“Why are you here mom?” Sandor held his breath as Catelyn flinched and he felt so out of place that he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. He also knew that he was the cause of it, this rift between the two women and that fact made him want to run and hide. Maybe go over to Bronn and Margaery’s place. He shook his head as if to shake the thought away.

_ I am not a coward. I will be here for my wife. _

He however had the perfect excuse to put some distance between him and the women as he moved into the kitchen to get Sansa her drink. He surprised himself as much as both women when he returned with a can for Catelyn before he moved to sit down next to Sansa.

Catelyn remained where she was, standing just a few steps into the apartment and her blue eyes darted between her daughter and Sandor as he wrapped his arm around Sansa and placed one of his hands on her stomach.

Ever since they had found out that they were pregnant he had found himself drawn to her growing belly and touching it whenever he had the opportunity. He had never thought that he would have kids, never thought he would get to have any of the things he had gotten in the last year and a half. But fuck him, if he didn’t want it. So fucking badly and the baby, their baby, was something he found himself anxious and excited over beyond his own comprehension. He was scared shitless and so fucking happy, all tied into one. And he knew he would do anything for that kid, and for his wife, even if it meant sitting in the most awkward situation, waiting for the mother in law who hated him to explain her sudden appearance.

“I… Your father told me about the baby,” Catelyn said and Sandor’s hand that was stroking her belly held it gently, hoping to offer comfort to her. “Please don’t be upset with him for telling me.”

“I didn’t expect dad to keep it from you,” Sansa interrupted and Catelyn released a sigh of relief.

“I know I have acted unfairly, towards both of you. I just… I don’t want to miss anymore of this new life. I know I brought it on myself and I don’t know how to make it up to you. But I want to try, if you’ll let me.” Sandor’s very limited experience with dealing with family and conflict within it left him feeling unable to respond to Catelyn’s plea. He felt like the choice wasn’t his anyway, she wasn’t his mother.

He disliked the woman, fuck that was the understatement of the year. She had driven a wedge between him and Sansa, nearly succeeding in breaking them up. If it was completely up to him he wanted to tell her to fuck off, tell her to leave them the fuck alone. But even as the anger welled in his chest he hesitated. Because there in the forefront, like it seemed to be in everyone of his decisions, was the thought of the baby.

_ She is the only grandmother they have. Can I really take that away from them? _

Sansa seemed to sense his hesitation because he felt her eyes on him and he forced himself to turn his head to meet her blue eyes. There was a silent question there, one of concern. He knew she valued his opinion on this, she had told him time and time again that she chose him and she had shown him that in these months of marriage.

He knew now more than ever that he and Sansa were their own family, and their baby would make the family grow. But with Sansa he had gotten a whole extended family. It was all still so new and foreign to him that he didn’t know what to think or do in this situation. He had never known his mother nor his grandparents. But he didn’t want his kid to want for anything, he didn’t want his kid to think that their grandmother didn’t want anything to do with them.

He hadn’t realised that it had been a fear but as Catelyn stood across from him he realised that it had. He had worried that him being the man he was would not only keep Sansa from having a mother, keep Sansa from having her whole family, but that it would make their baby an outsider even within their family. Sandor knew everything about that feeling and it felt as if there was acid in his throat just thinking about it.

“I am truly sorry Sandor.” Catelyn’s words cut through the long silence and caused Sandor to flinch. Not only because of how they broke the heavy tension but also because of the actual words. He had never in his wildest imaginations been able to see Catelyn Stark apologising to him. Yet here she stood, doing just that. “I acted out of a sense of entitlement that I know now was beyond disrespectful. I know that you love Sansa and even if you do not fit into my preconceived idea of Sansa’s perfect match…”

“Mother!” Sansa interrupted angrily and Catelyn held up her free hand in defense.

“I have come to realise that what I wanted for Sansa and what she wants for herself are not the same. And they shouldn’t be. You are your own person, sweetheart, and I am sorry that I didn’t see that.” Catelyn turned her tearfilled eyes towards Sansa who’s eyes were welling with tears as well. Sandor held her a little closer to him and she moved a hand to press it above his heart. “You’ve made your own life here, you are making your own family and I just want to do what I need to in order to be a part of that. On your terms.”

Sandor didn’t know what to say or do, instead he waited for Sansa’s reaction but for a long time she didn’t say anything and it didn’t seem like she would. Catelyn released a sniffle and the sound pulled Sandor’s attention away from his wife. The other woman opened her purse, a big shiny black one that probably cost more than what Sandor made in a month, and pulled out what looked like a scruffy stuffed wolf.

“I just couldn’t imagine your baby not having this.” A strangled sob came out of Sansa’s mouth as Catelyn took a step closer to hand the stuffed animal over. Sansa clutched it close to her chest and Sandor’s instincts told him that she was upset but he didn’t know what to do to fix it. He hated that feeling.

“Lady,” Sansa sobbed and now both women were outright crying and Sandor really wanted to disappear off the face of the earth then. What the fuck was he supposed to do with this?

_ I am not equipped to handle this shit. One crying woman at a time, for fuck sake! _

“I understand that you guys need to talk and think. I’ll just go and give you time.” Sandor was shocked with how Catelyn wasn’t pushing them for a decision. That she wasn’t pushing them to accept her apology and act like nothing had happened. If anything, her trying to act as if nothing had happened he had been able to imagine. Her apologising and giving them time to process it was so far from it that he yet again found himself unable to form any response.

“Mom…” Sansa’s voice rang out in the silent apartment just as Catelyn reached the door. The other redhead turned around to look at them but instead of looking at her, Sandor turned his head to look at Sansa.

She was giving him a soft and hopeful look and he wasn’t sure what it was that she was trying to ask or check with him. Did she want to forgive her mother? Did she want him to forgive her, because he wasn’t sure if he could do that. His confusion must have been evident on his face because Sansa gave him a tender but wobbly smile before turning her eyes towards her mother.

“We were planning on heading up North for Christmas. Robb and Talisa invited us to dinner on boxing day. If it’s alright with them then maybe… maybe we could talk then?” The way that Catelyn’s eyes lit up made Sandor brace himself for an overload of emotions from both women but to his surprise they both retained their current composure.

“Yes. Of course. You can stay at the house so that you come for the Christmas party and…” Sandor felt Sansa stiffen against his side and he took a deep breath as he tried to figure out a way to stop Catelyn from expecting too much from them without fucking up the delicasy of the situation. He knew shit all about being delicate.

“Mom. We are not coming to the Christmas party. We will see you on boxing day.” Sansa’s voice was firm and determined but not unkind as she cut off her mother’s excited rambles. Catelyn’s eyes widened but she seemed to realise her mistake because she didn’t argue, she simply nodded as if to show that she was listening. “This doesn’t mean that everything is fixed. It doesn’t mean we forgive you. We will talk about it and we will see. Alright?”

Sandor was shocked at how composed and calm Sansa sounded. And how sure she seemed. She kept amazing him with her strength and with the way she handled herself. He couldn’t imagine how torn she had to feel, especially now, yet she didn’t act unsure. She held onto him, leaned on him and in doing so she also showed that she was thinking of him. She hadn't agreed to anything, she hadn’t made any promises. She had wanted to give them time to talk it through, as a couple. As partners.

“I understand. And thank you both.” With one last soft smile Catelyn left and the silence that followed as the door clicked shut was long and tense. Sandor wasn’t sure what to say or to think. This was not how he had imagined this day to go.

“I think I want to take a quick shower. Can we talk about this afterwards?” Sansa asked and Sandor pressed a kiss to the crown of her head before he hummed in agreement. Once Sansa had gotten into the shower Sandor hurried out to get their bags from the car.

He carried one of the bags into the second bedroom, which had functioned as Sansa’s home office. Now it was practically empty, the floors covered in paper, the only furniture was a large dresser that Sansa had found in a thrift shop and decided they could paint. He had to admit that the detailing on it was beautiful even if it was rather scuffed.

The walls were being painted from white into the soft yellow that they had picked out. He had planned on doing the second coat on the walls today but he felt too drained to even begin. Instead he picked up the measuring tape and checked off the area where Sansa had wanted to place the crib and he was relieved to find that the one Sansa had wanted would fit. He couldn’t keep himself from pulling out the yellow bed set from the bag and held it up to compare to the wall. It did compliment the colour nicely and he found his chest filled with warmth and disbelief as he tried to imagine a tiny human, a mix between him and Sansa, getting tucked into them. 

_ Perhaps they would have her hair. I’d really like that. _

“How are you feeling?” Sandor whirled around at the sound of Sansa’s voice and his heart thumped so hard in his chest that he could feel it pressing against his ribs. She was only wearing a pair of white satin panties and a matching lace trim camisole that stretched tight around her growing belly. 

He loved when he could see it, the evidence of the life she was growing, and he took two long strides up to her in order to place both his large hands across her stomach. She smiled softly at him and as she lifted one hand to cup his scarred cheek he realised that she was holding the stuffed wolf in the other.

“I’m alright. How are you?” he asked with a furrowed brow and she sighed.

“Tired. And emotional. It doesn’t feel real… The whole thing with mom, I don’t know what to think or do.” With a soft sigh he leaned down to press his forehead against her and she closed her eyes as she pressed closer against him.

“Neither do I. But we will figure it out together. We’ve got time and what is important is that we talk it through.” Sansa’s eyes opened and she looked at him for a long time without speaking and he enjoyed the way that the silence made way for a conversation through touch and looks. He saw the love in her eyes and felt it in the way her free hand moved down to rest over his and squeeze it.

With a gentle smile he took the scruffy toy from her and inspected it. There was a slight tint to her cheeks that made him raise his eyebrow in question and she chuckled.

“I got Lady from my paternal grandparents when I was a baby. I was obsessed with it, carried it with me everywhere until I started school and she had to stay home. She has been living on my bed ever since.” Sandor wasn’t sure if there had been anything that had given him comfort like that in his childhood, even if it had he knew that it was long gone. He looked down at the stuffed toy and it didn’t look like much but knowing the emotional value of it he couldn’t help but smile.

“And now she’s got a new home. And another little girl or boy who will love her.” As he placed the toy on the dresser he felt Sansa’s arms wrap around his and he turned his head to look at her. “And that kid will be so fucking loved, and they will know it.”

“Hell yeah.” Sandor chuckled at her attempt at profanity just as much as he chuckled at the blush that crept on her cheeks. “What? It’s your fault. You need to watch your mouth once the baby comes.”

“I’ll try my best, for you. And for the baby.” The seriousness in his voice made her turn fully towards him and he tried to show how much he meant his words in his eyes. He hoped that she knew that he meant them, and not just in regards to his use of foul language, but to everything.

“I know. So will I.” He leaned down to press his mouth against hers then and as they wrapped their arms around each other there, in what would be their child’s room, with something from the past being a part of their future he believed her with everything that he was. He knew that they would both try their hardest, for the sake of their relationship and for their child. And as long as they were both willing to do that, both were willing to put in the work he figured they’d do alright. They’d figure it out as they went, together.

_ There is nothing else I could ask for. There is just this and it’s everything, and it all came to be thanks to her being an over friendly neighbour and that she wasn’t deterred by my shitty attitude. _

He couldn’t keep in a chuckle at the thought and Sansa lifted her head to look up at him with questioning blue eyes.

“I just can’t believe that all this, us, started with a fucking cookie.” His mouth twisted in a grin as she beamed up at him.

“It wasn’t just any cookie,” she added with a small giggle.

“Those fucking peanut butter cookies.” The words were barely out of his mouth before they were both laughing, holding onto each other and Sandor revelled in the way her hard stomach pressed into his and he knew that even though he had nearly died because of it, that peanut butter cookie had been the best cookie he had ever had.

**FIN**

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> So this is it, the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has read, left kudos and commented. It has been amazing having you guys support and reading your reactions to this story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fanart for Peanut Butter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571693) by [Paperdollgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paperdollgirl/pseuds/Paperdollgirl)


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